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This is the first edition of the Royal Island Post, a paper haphazardly written by a pirate. The only other paper I like is the Shifty News Network, and one is one too few. So I decided to create my own newspaper that I'm sure to love. As for you, perhaps not, I'm not fancy and I've never done this before, but here we are. I'm to write what I like and shamelessly promote whatever I like, plus those that pay good money. So without further ado, welcome to RIP. Here's the news! Afrika Korps, an alliance of nations with immense tanks, declared war on Arrgh! An alliance of pirates with immense rum. What were they thinking? I haven't bothered to find out. What I can tell you, is that they didn't have many pirates to fight, our ships just aren't that big, it effects speed and maneuverability, I know these things, I'm a pirate. After we pirates drank and had a good laugh, we all went our separate ways. I don't know what's happened since then, I think the panzers are still trying to learn to swim, here's a picture I found. (Thanks Epi) Later on in the week, a mysterious stranger visited the Afrikans and probed them all. (presumably) It's okay though, the Korps learned about paper and can now be observed in the safari, grazing under the watchful eye of ayyliens. Why did this happen? Who knows. Perhaps they felt endangered, scared perhaps. Maybe they felt alone? They could have just longed for the love of an ayylien. In any case, the Afrikans were adopted by Black Knights and they have a cozy home. The global peace terms discussion has not noticeably progressed this week. This writer is happy to see that, war is the essence of life, like sweet sweet lemonade on a hot day. I wish war for everyone into the next year, let's do it right folks, start the year with a BANG! In other news, a new alliance has entered the world of Orbis, they were born out of the alliance The Crimson Entente and have burst into the world by what they call, a declaration of secession. They are, The Bombardiers and they are succeeding from what they call an "oppressive,corrupt and tyrannical government". It all began with a fellow who goes by the name Benefactor(Merkurios), he was among those who declared independence from The Crimson Entente. When asked why, he sighted taxes as a major source of tension,which he said primarily benefited the rich. (on a personal note, as a pirate I despise all concepts of taxes, I deal mostly in booty) He also claimed that TCE is a phony democracy, ran by corrupt officials who censor free speech, which they used against him when he attempted to petition for lower taxes. He also said that officials are paid off to work for the president and the people remain unrepresented. (This pirates question is, if this be true, why had not more joined the mutiny?) In any case, I searched for another side of the story. I spoke with KingDracula of The Crimson Entente and he was forthcoming with a story of his own. He says that Benefactor simply had disagreements with other members of his previous alliance (TCE) and abruptly left the alliance shortly thereafter. He says the war was not about succession at all, but about money that Benefactor took with him. ( I asked Benefactor about this claim, he says he paid it off, and that the war was indeed about succession.) I also have a message from Parrish, who said, "TCE denies all claims of corruption and dennounces Bombardier's leader for putting up a false Reason of seceding" It's debatable what the first round of fighting was about, but this second round is undoubtedly about the succession. With TB publicly denouncing TCE, which they claim are straight up lies, the situation seems unlikely to improve. So what's the truth here? I have no idea! I'm just here to give you the story. In this writers opinion, this revolution has more bark than bite. Will The Bombardiers make something of themselves in this orb? Or will they simply disappear into the heaps of micros? Only time can tell. It looks as though the Paradise bloc has been disbanded, or at least changed significantly. Animation Domination is no longer a part of this bloc and what that means remains to be seen. Apparently The Isle has asked them to leave, which does not seem to be what AD had wanted. According to Arizona Robbins of The Isle, "We looked at the direction the bloc itself was going, and it wasnt moving anywhere. I could go on, but out of respect for our former allies that is AD, we wont go there and we wish you the best in your future prospects, and now it's time to close this door and look fowards to the future". Most importantly, what does this mean to Captain Jack? Well my answer is obvious, I hope this means more war! A pirate could only hope. Perhaps something interesting will happen from this, AD has plenty of potential and a seemingly stalwart captain. I just hope it means they'll attack someone. There's also a new alliance, league of hero's, I haven't had time to find out anything about them, but let's wish them luck. Story time! I had the joy of taking part in a jury, which was interesting at first. The jury was assembled, and the trial began. Although you'd think a lawyer would be ready for trial, the defense unfortunately was not. But instead of retrial, we waited around while the defense got extra time. I won't give the details, but it was a trial for treason. So anyhow, what started as a serious trial by jury, for a serious crime, ended up becoming a minor crime with a slap on the wrist. The best part? The judge presiding didn't even know there was a jury! And made his decision without so much as consulting us, which is hard to do when you don't know we exist. So, it was my first stint on a ceremonial jury, and I will make it my last. It brings to question, what is a jury for? And why waste their time? Walk the plank next time and be done with it. I had a fun little time being accused of bullying, which is not my fault mind you. If you'd just hand over the loot, everything would go so much smoother. I recommend just giving me your loot next time, then I'll be your best friend. No better friend than an old enemy. Speaking of, I was looting an inactive that came back from the grave, spooky stuff I tell you. And I had saved up some maps, there wasn't much going on, he was almost defeated. Well, I went to use them up and what would you think the results would be? I'll be damned, I brought my opponents resistance down to, 1! 100 vs 1! I could not believe mine eyes! Well, I just had to peace out with that fellow, a pirate won't do well ignoring messages from Davy Jones. I wish him well. Here's a pirate quote "Damn ye, you are a sneaking puppy, and so are all those who will submit to be governed by laws which rich men have made for their own security." - "Black" Sam Inspirational words if you ask me. That's the end of the first edition of RIP, come by next week for another edition. If you have anything you'd like to be shared, message me, Captain Jack, and it just may make the paper. Also send hate mail. I'm also open to suggestions and other shenanigans. Arrgh!

I have come by to just say this tfw ur mum is a This was all made in good intention and satire with no meaning to offend any party, aka I consent to be given a warning point uwu

HEY! leave us shit micro alliances alone.

Or we should start thinking stats have been removed for another reason?

Actually it's a 2 man micro that doesn't reach 1k score. The one with the highest score saw better things for his future.

Come write for ORB, boost your views & create with awesome tools. I like what you got. o/

>not another irrelevant micro >protected Ok This isn’t a “Golden Horde” thing, this is Hippo’s biggest pet peeve thing. Most of the major AAs in this game have no standards with just accepting anybody who asks for a Protectorate tie, and yet quite a lot of people in random chats and back channels want to claim the game is dead due to stagnation moments - mostly caused by an inflation of AAs and dumb treaties. The fact that any major AA is willing to protect alliances that 1) Have no real membership, 2) No valued experiences, 3) Are not willing to defend themselves, or 4) Have no direction - is causing this game to be inflated with irrelevant AAs that simply just end up as some other AAs tool. And yet when those AAs get involved with some of the major backroom politics, they realize they’re not ready for it and make requests to others to bail them out. Hell, even some of the major AAs out there have shit gov/leadership. Players too scared or lazy, or simply have no idea how to handle their own issues.

What in the actual f***is this garbage?

Sike

It's a 3 man micro that doesn't reach 2k score. What is there to protect?

>Vacant >Vacant >Vacant >Vacant Why is Syndicate protecting this?

Old news, I've seen the anime ads... Not enough small cute animals for me to join

Merry Christmas! Ho-Ho-Ho!

They did the first time I looked at them *shrug* Why do you seem so angry and upset? You may not care, but BK does, and if you become a problem they'll drop you before fighting a major alliance over your attitude here. Is there a reason you're so upset and vitriolic? Also for fun, someone put this in our discord. Now I'm not saying I'm great and amazing, but there is a certainly a disparity here that you sit down and consider. Some people take time and great effort in planning these things, rather than flailing around from day one and surviving based on as much luck as judgement. When my alliance is as old yours it will be one of two things. Either in the top 20, or non existent. Shitty micros are the ones that exist for nearly a year and barely move from their starting spot.

Whot's serious comments doin' here? Make this one walk the plank!

I want to make it clear, the Paradise Bloc has been disbanded, defunked. It no longer exists. The bloc was disbanded for multiple reasons, and we do not harbor any I'll feelings to AD, the Isle wishes AD luck in their future FA prospect, however we decided it was best we went our seperate ways. We wanted different things, and we learned that our goals just do not add up together, and instead of holding AD back on its goals they wanted to pursue, we disbanded the bloc. RR and TI are still allies, however we already had a seperate treaty with RR and due to RR understanding our position, they agreed it was for the best, and the rest is known.

IQ-aligned alliances are always seeking incompetent, autistic, and grandiose players. You guys are par for the course, surrender your sovereignty to them stat!

Why do so many top alliances protect so many shit micros all over town. It's a mystery that shall never be known.

When your alliance is full of strong nations who would never give up sovereignty but recruit nations who are weak and would give up sovereignty into your alliance

This reminds me of The Illuminati 2.0 Shit alliance that thinks they can do something extraordinary.

ew weebs

If you look even closer, *you* are a shit micro alliance Edit: Also the person you sent that to was from Nova Riata so like...

Pretty hypocritical that you guys are screaming about how great sovereignty and peace is while behind the scenes you guys have been trying to forcibly "annex" *cough poach* nations with threats of war. I'll look out for your guys' Declaration of Disbandment in the coming two weeks.

That one had 3 people ready to declare on him but lucky for him we noticed he left the alliance at the last second.

•Official Discord• The 7 Nations, also Known as The Empire of the Moonlit Sakura Other Flags: 7 Government Branches:

Nice work with the write up. Agreed with Max, ORB is where you belong.

It is no surprise your still the stuck up !@#$ who rage quits everytime she doesnt get her way. Classic Eva move. You havent done anything to improve the RP. All you have done is rage quit, reset, rage quit, reset, rince and repeat. I use to think you were a good RPer and then in a day you shown your true side and started this cycle of rage quitting/resetting the map and trying once again to control every player in the RP. Your a quitter and a sore loser. You are one of the problems of this RP and then blame everyone else, eventhough you are the main contributor to the problems of the RP. Tl;dr you once again shown you are too incompetent to RP with others. How about you quit RPing with people since you cant handle not being in control over every aspect of the community.

Awww girl you nasty

Not really pretending when we all knew she was going to rage quit when she didnt get to bully everyone into submission

"The International body that enforces the international rules is the international community. It is the matter of morality coming from each leader to unite against an amoral state or leader. An International act was the blockade of Rokkenjima, but I assume you'd classify them as an aggressive act upon the peaceful nation of Rokkenjima who expands only by peace, love and unicorns plus rainbows. International laws cannot be dismissed, there would be anarchy. That is why my Northern European friend said 'in the civilized world'. You have no grasp on what those rules and laws mean don't you? They shouldn't even need an organ to enforce them, as nobody that stupid should be even breaking them. Hundrends and thousands? Well first none here claims the moral high ground with those 'killings' but you are comparing the unprovoked destruction of a civilization and planning to repopulate their land with your people and bringing a state to destruction and anarchy with your WMDs. If you didnt catch I have said that your numbers were much bigger, the massacre had no reason, was unprovoked, it had long lasting results, it lead to more stupid decisions like the repopulation and it was through the use of WMDs. Where here can you compare the same to us on a moral basis." As the Secretary was speaking he'd raise his tone and slam, point or use an another appropriate hand gesture at the appropriate times. After it would seem that Harold finished he'd inhale keeping a lot of air in his mouth than exhaling in an annoyed tone, he continues: "It's clear that your state is a whole wad of bullshit and so are the people. I do not fear meeting the witches as they just wooshed and warped away at the threat of trial. Just tuck ail and run..." Harold was saying as he was crumbling a blank piece of paper "and here you go..." he threw the crumbled paper"... you get to lead we just run from our problems as even though we endlessly live we still have to go through puberty. And still then you change the topic a lot, why not answer our question but choose to ignore it?"

"Mr Esdeath, it seems that there is an issue here. Allow me to address some of your concerns." Ambassador Nielsen slowly rose, as she slowly sipped from her glass of water, not pausing a moment to take her eyes off from General Esdeath. After finishing the entire glass with white knuckles over the course of several uncomfortable seconds, she noiselessly and methodically set the glass back onto the table, once again keeping her predatory gaze firmly on Esdeath. When she finally spoke, it was with authority and strength. "In civilised society, we have what are known as laws. Laws ensure that everyone treats each other with the respect they deserve as human beings. By establishing laws, a society ideally ensures that it functions fairly. In the international community, we also have laws. One of these laws include provisions outlawing the use of biological weapons. Another one of these laws outlaws acts of genocide. I am sure, that as a reasonably moral person, you would be opposed to such heinous acts. Because while we will never be able to fully count the dead, our estimates of those killed in the Philippines range from 70 to 95 million. This means that the total death toll is higher than the upper respectable estimates of the body counts of Hitler, Stalin, Leopold and Mao combined. That's 4.8 billion kilograms of human flesh, now stripped of life. The decision to use biological weapons against the Philippines was authorised by the highest level of government: the Witch Council. This means that the Witch Council is directly responsible for the worst genocide in human history. In order to ensure that laws are followed, some form of punishment should exist, for two reasons. First, as an example to any would-be criminals. Second, to keep dangerous individuals away from people they may harm. Are you aware of the message we would be sending, by allowing the most blood-drenched people in all of history to go free without any consequences? How many other leaders would we empower? How many more deaths would result? If you truly care about global stability, you will put the Witch Council on trial for their crimes. Of course, there is the issue of pragmatism. Maybe we should focus on achievable goals, such as economic growth. But even then, ruthless pragmatism works in our favour. If we fail to show a moral backbone, we will be treated with eternal contempt by our citizens, and rightly so. You should consider yourself lucky that we are meeting as equals at this table, rather than as enemies on the battlefield. You are here by our goodwill, so ACT LIKE IT!" For the entire speech, Nielsen kept her withering gaze on Esdeath, pausing only to blink. In the quickly-spoken final three words of the speech, each syllable was punctuated by a loud punch to the desk.

The main problem with this suggestion is that if you implement this, the most effective way to fight would be to frick units all together and just focus-nuke cities until they get deleted. It would create an incentive to fight like a vagina and put practically little to no strategy into your front and just nuke people until they surrender. The second problem is that it would encourage people to buckle down in a siege, build as little infra/units as possible and just nuke turret to avoid cost, making wars last forever. Not even to mention that people would be even more scared of fighting in general because they have to worry about their cities getting deleted. That's so boring. The third problem is that if you're losing a protracted war, you can't come back, because your cities and improvements are dead, hence you have to rebuild them before rebuilding your units to give you any chance to fight back. It makes wars way too black and white. The city cost could be negligible, because when you take into account the cost of nuclear power plants, hangars, docks, it would be really difficult to upfront the cost that would get you into a shape where you can fight back, especially considering that people could just blockade you and airstrike your cash, giving you literally no chance to do anything, and that's just frustrating. Not even to mention that you'd need to do it across many different cities, which would make it an insane pain in the ass.

Forums sure have been lit the last few days though

10/10, would read again.

Kinda hard to nuke someone without a Nuclear Research Facility

Kind of a shame that it's been offline this long; this site was astonishingly useful and well-crafted. If there's some circumstance that's making it inconvenient or impossible to maintain, maybe it could be shared...?

Rip TCE? It was two members

Having two protectors is pathetic. Having two from different spheres sounds like crafting a VG style copout of a conflict we know is coming. I'd agree with Buor here, but i don't. He doesn't go far enough. You're just pixel-hugging cowards, honestly. Hope you actually get rolled for it too.

rofl, this is so fricking stupid.

If you're watching this, you must disband your respective alliance and join BK.

I actually could get behind this.

May we be forgiven for our sins! Please show us mercy Ayy Lmao!

Possibly multiple notifications one at 5 days, 2.5 days, and 1 day. Would make it easier on people who buy it only at expiry dates.

We now have an official Club for Members of the Empire, its Warbands, Vassals, & Protectorates, and Friends of the Empire

~•Treaties and Foreign affairs•~ For Diplomatic relations, Market sharing & Treaty Talks contact The Grand War Chief or The Emperor Non-chaining Mutual Defense Pact - United Hoods Non-chaining Mutual Defense Pact - United Nations of Culture Non-chaining Mutual Defense Pact - The Federation Peace Intel & Trade Treaty - Omega Peace Intel & Trade Treaty - Celestia •Protectorates, Vassals & Independent Warbands• The White Horde - Standard Protectorate •Temporary NAPs• Diplomatic - none Peace agreements - Blackstone Legion (expires august 1st) •Trade Networks• The Silk Road ** - all treaty information and web is correct as of july 15th, 5am UTC (12am CST|EDT / 1am CDT / 7am Egypt & Cush time / 12pm Qin Imperial Standard Time / 1pm Ulaanbaatar & beijing time / 2pm Tokyo time)

~•Announcements•~ (Purple council / Recruiting) We are Seeking to fill these government positions please contact the emperor or the president of the examination council on our •Discord• to apply for a government position ►Secondary Heads, Ministers and Ceremonial Positions• •Imperial Flagbearer (Military ceremonial position and head of propaganda): ►Lower Government positions & Government Jobs ~ ►misc. ~ Other positions may be available these are just the ones we are actively looking to fill