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Captain Jack

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About Captain Jack

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    Captain Jack
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    Royal Islands
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    Captain Jack

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  1. Ahoy! Welcome to RIP, the paper for pirates, mercenaries and low down folk. Brought to you by a drunken pirate who fancies himself a man of letters. HERE'S THE NEWS If anyone ever had a good thing to say about peace, it must be that it leaves plenty of potential for war. Where diplomacy fails, being strong is what counts. And sometimes you can't fight because diplomacy succeeds. So what's a pirate to do? If your anything like ole Captain Jack, then you hire somebody to fight on your behalf. In this ruthless orb, you need a crew to do the dirty work of stealing loot. There's fighting to be done and people who need to fight. Theres a wealth of services for a pirate, Mercenaries Ink. has found itself as a hub for these services. An open space where mercenaries can ply their trade and everyone around can decide what they need. It's a perfect market if you ask me. Choosing a gun for hire has never been easier, and why risk yourself when someone else can do it for you? Or if you just need the help, never go alone into battle. It's been managed by The Dragon King since August, he provides this as a service to help everyone who needs it. He had this to say"It is hard to find someone who you can truly trust these days. So why should you trust me? I can not definitivly prove to you that you can trust me. Ultimately, it's up to you " Lets hope he's trustworthy, hopefully with his efforts the mercenary trade will be booming. https://discord.gg/cD7NZ9k If your a leader type, you'll be more in need of just a crew. To hire an army, look no further than Conquer Paramilitary. Allies can be notoriously bad when you need them most, they can even make your situation worse! Why bank on things like "trust" or "loyalty" when you can just buy your allies? No longer will you worry if your allies can fight, leave it to the trained professionals, before they are turned on you! Money talks my friends, let it say a lot, when you have an army on your side. https://discord.gg/AFHXSjN Listen closely, you didn't hear this from me, If you need help facilitating these kind of activities, head on over to Securitas Detective Agency, we handle discretionary activities and information. We learn what you need to know. https://discord.gg/snAm9sp I have bad news I've seen progress inside the global peace talks discussion, always a sad day when peace seems likely. Luckily for us it didn't seem productive, hopefully this means more war for everyone in the coming weeks. You know what they say, war makes the world go round. STORY TIME I've heard tale of a mysterious place, no one can say exactly what goes on there or why, just that it's apparently a place to make money. All I know is that it's totally not the mafuza. A pirate like me loves a shady place, this one might be worth checking out. Thanks to Hassan for this story: One time, a bunch of RR counters came attacking and that wasn't a pretty day.. I just looted 21M that day and was gonna get a new city, But they had me blockaded and were stealing my cash damn fast.. What i did is, I told them i'd pay 10m to each of them to peace out. They agreed, peaced out and stopped the blockades. But you can never trust a pirate, can ya'? I sent it all to the Arrgh! bank and they redeclared, getting angry. And i felt honoured they wasted missiles on destroying barely anything in my nation. Well, got beiged and some infra lost, but it was all worth it in the end. Moral of the story: Never trust a pirate! Great addition from Hassan, I'll say a pirate can only trust a pirate and in terms of stealing booty. PIRATE QUOTE "Heaven you fool? Did you ever hear of any pirates going thither? Give me hell, it's a merrier place: I'll give Roberts a salute of 13 guns at entrance." — Thomas Sutton Thanks for reading, please send hate mail.
  2. Securitas Detective Agency We find out what you need to know. Spies for hire AGENTS WANTED https://discord.gg/snAm9sp
  3. Good news! Show em what you can do
  4. Arrgh! I love a declaration of war, I bet it's even better the second time. Especially when it's an oxymoron "Fighting pacifists" Have fun kicking ass! Again
  5. This is the first edition of the Royal Island Post, a paper haphazardly written by a pirate. The only other paper I like is the Shifty News Network, and one is one too few. So I decided to create my own newspaper that I'm sure to love. As for you, perhaps not, I'm not fancy and I've never done this before, but here we are. I'm to write what I like and shamelessly promote whatever I like, plus those that pay good money. So without further ado, welcome to RIP. Here's the news! Afrika Korps, an alliance of nations with immense tanks, declared war on Arrgh! An alliance of pirates with immense rum. What were they thinking? I haven't bothered to find out. What I can tell you, is that they didn't have many pirates to fight, our ships just aren't that big, it effects speed and maneuverability, I know these things, I'm a pirate. After we pirates drank and had a good laugh, we all went our separate ways. I don't know what's happened since then, I think the panzers are still trying to learn to swim, here's a picture I found. (Thanks Epi) Later on in the week, a mysterious stranger visited the Afrikans and probed them all. (presumably) It's okay though, the Korps learned about paper and can now be observed in the safari, grazing under the watchful eye of ayyliens. Why did this happen? Who knows. Perhaps they felt endangered, scared perhaps. Maybe they felt alone? They could have just longed for the love of an ayylien. In any case, the Afrikans were adopted by Black Knights and they have a cozy home. The global peace terms discussion has not noticeably progressed this week. This writer is happy to see that, war is the essence of life, like sweet sweet lemonade on a hot day. I wish war for everyone into the next year, let's do it right folks, start the year with a BANG! In other news, a new alliance has entered the world of Orbis, they were born out of the alliance The Crimson Entente and have burst into the world by what they call, a declaration of secession. They are, The Bombardiers and they are succeeding from what they call an "oppressive,corrupt and tyrannical government". It all began with a fellow who goes by the name Benefactor(Merkurios), he was among those who declared independence from The Crimson Entente. When asked why, he sighted taxes as a major source of tension,which he said primarily benefited the rich. (on a personal note, as a pirate I despise all concepts of taxes, I deal mostly in booty) He also claimed that TCE is a phony democracy, ran by corrupt officials who censor free speech, which they used against him when he attempted to petition for lower taxes. He also said that officials are paid off to work for the president and the people remain unrepresented. (This pirates question is, if this be true, why had not more joined the mutiny?) In any case, I searched for another side of the story. I spoke with KingDracula of The Crimson Entente and he was forthcoming with a story of his own. He says that Benefactor simply had disagreements with other members of his previous alliance (TCE) and abruptly left the alliance shortly thereafter. He says the war was not about succession at all, but about money that Benefactor took with him. ( I asked Benefactor about this claim, he says he paid it off, and that the war was indeed about succession.) I also have a message from Parrish, who said, "TCE denies all claims of corruption and dennounces Bombardier's leader for putting up a false Reason of seceding" It's debatable what the first round of fighting was about, but this second round is undoubtedly about the succession. With TB publicly denouncing TCE, which they claim are straight up lies, the situation seems unlikely to improve. So what's the truth here? I have no idea! I'm just here to give you the story. In this writers opinion, this revolution has more bark than bite. Will The Bombardiers make something of themselves in this orb? Or will they simply disappear into the heaps of micros? Only time can tell. It looks as though the Paradise bloc has been disbanded, or at least changed significantly. Animation Domination is no longer a part of this bloc and what that means remains to be seen. Apparently The Isle has asked them to leave, which does not seem to be what AD had wanted. According to Arizona Robbins of The Isle, "We looked at the direction the bloc itself was going, and it wasnt moving anywhere. I could go on, but out of respect for our former allies that is AD, we wont go there and we wish you the best in your future prospects, and now it's time to close this door and look fowards to the future". Most importantly, what does this mean to Captain Jack? Well my answer is obvious, I hope this means more war! A pirate could only hope. Perhaps something interesting will happen from this, AD has plenty of potential and a seemingly stalwart captain. I just hope it means they'll attack someone. There's also a new alliance, league of hero's, I haven't had time to find out anything about them, but let's wish them luck. Story time! I had the joy of taking part in a jury, which was interesting at first. The jury was assembled, and the trial began. Although you'd think a lawyer would be ready for trial, the defense unfortunately was not. But instead of retrial, we waited around while the defense got extra time. I won't give the details, but it was a trial for treason. So anyhow, what started as a serious trial by jury, for a serious crime, ended up becoming a minor crime with a slap on the wrist. The best part? The judge presiding didn't even know there was a jury! And made his decision without so much as consulting us, which is hard to do when you don't know we exist. So, it was my first stint on a ceremonial jury, and I will make it my last. It brings to question, what is a jury for? And why waste their time? Walk the plank next time and be done with it. I had a fun little time being accused of bullying, which is not my fault mind you. If you'd just hand over the loot, everything would go so much smoother. I recommend just giving me your loot next time, then I'll be your best friend. No better friend than an old enemy. Speaking of, I was looting an inactive that came back from the grave, spooky stuff I tell you. And I had saved up some maps, there wasn't much going on, he was almost defeated. Well, I went to use them up and what would you think the results would be? I'll be damned, I brought my opponents resistance down to, 1! 100 vs 1! I could not believe mine eyes! Well, I just had to peace out with that fellow, a pirate won't do well ignoring messages from Davy Jones. I wish him well. Here's a pirate quote "Damn ye, you are a sneaking puppy, and so are all those who will submit to be governed by laws which rich men have made for their own security." - "Black" Sam Inspirational words if you ask me. That's the end of the first edition of RIP, come by next week for another edition. If you have anything you'd like to be shared, message me, Captain Jack, and it just may make the paper. Also send hate mail. I'm also open to suggestions and other shenanigans. Arrgh!
  6. You scared me for a second Peace is for the weak! Arrgh!
  7. Treaties are for the weak! Arrgh!
  8. Oh look the afrikans became the ayyliens pets, how fun
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