Journalists held captive by Somali Pirates say [redacted]

[Ripper]

Part 1: Piracy against Journalism [this post]
Part 2: 6 out of 7 captives released [link]
Part 3: Last captives released [link]

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Piracy against Journalism

 

According to a highly trusted source, 1 in 4 journalists rarely or never seek out peer-reviewed research to learn about beat topics.
Had this not been the case, journalists would know about facts like this…

 

... and wouldn’t announce things like this:

It has come to Arrgh’s attention that “YET another completely biased news server run by a bad micro” as they identify themselves, “The Observer”, took it upon themselves to share with Orbis sensitive (and partially inaccurate) information about pirate activities.

Alas. To err is human. To arr is pirate.

As of this date change, Arrgh has kidnapped the core staff members of this news server.
The journalists are currently held captive at a 50-metres long tuna boat somewhere off the shores of southeastern Somalia (exclusive photo provided below).

From left to right, Sam Cooper (Arrgh’s Grand Admiral) and the captives: Emrys the Great (doesn’t look that great), Alfred Chambers (looks like he has the early symptoms of sea-sickness), David Jones (initially confused with Davy Jones), ChrisNorcras (initially confused with Barbarossa [Redbeard]), Euron Greyjoy (looking like he has lost it already), Labaw Datubago (initially thought to be a member of our crew), and Ford (out of frame, getting rid of his breakfast).

 

Regarding Arrgh’s demands:

• For the captives to be released, the captives, their co-workers, their relatives, or their alliances shall provide $2B in cash and the name of their “highly trusted source” that shared with them the aforementioned leak. Should the demand not be accepted, the journalists will be keelhauled.
• Anyone who defends the captives, will be considered part of their group and Arrgh will have to assume their ill intentions towards us. The alliances of the captives, Serene Repubblica Fiorentina, The Almighty Corporation, Borgs Assisted Loot Liberation Service, or any other alliances, shall not attempt to release the captives. Should any kind of escalation or mobilization be identified (militarization, ghosts joining the alliances, allies initiating militarization, etc.), Arrgh will extend hostilities accordingly.
• Delays in negotiations or non-acceptance of the above demands will result in a steady increase of the demanded ransom.

 

P.S. Regarding the reported leak, indeed Arrgh has been planning to hit someone this Saturday day-change into Sunday.
The lucky someone that will be accepting the cannonballs of the main Arrgh armada is USSR.

 

tl;dr: Loose lips sink journalist ships. ARRGH!

Edited October 28, 2022 by Ripper

[Sam Cooper]

Arrrgh!!

[MrNukey]

Dont worry guys ussr has got things under control

When has communism ever failed?….

 

Oh right

[Spukey]

Glhf!

[Derkic Sawh]

Half the captives ain't even working for the observer anymore lmao o7

[Velyni Vas]

This is interesting.

[Ripper]

2 minutes ago, Matshaa said:

Half the captives ain't even working for the observer anymore lmao o7

More false news. Unacceptable.

[Jacob Knox]

7 minutes ago, Matshaa said:

Half the captives ain't even working for the observer anymore lmao o7

We get it, you're terrified for your beloved people. But it might be in your best interest not to lie to the armed, angry pirates. Good luck. 🙏

[J Kell]

Well shiver me timbers! We sprung a leak!

 

Raid them till they tell you where they stashed Lenin's body! We need it preserved!

[Chad]

Well then this happened well I suppose leaking on a raiding aa would get you in trouble.

[Avatar Patrick]

good to see arrgh being active again 👍

[thatguy]

Yarrgh

[zigbigadorlou]

The only war in recent memory with an excellent DoW and a proper CB. And its from Arrgh. 

Take notes, macros. 

[Ripper]

5 minutes ago, Avatar Patrick said:

good to see arrgh being active again 👍

That's what everyone says, till they see the red flag out their window.

[Thalmor]

Journoscum destroyed again. 

[DaveyJ]

Quote

David Jones (initially confused with Davy Jones)

f, they've seen past my disguise.

Edited September 25, 2022 by DaveyJ

[darkblade]

Now this is the Arrgh I remember. Glad to see y'all back in action.

Edited September 25, 2022 by darkblade

[Ketya]

Great DoW; good luck!

[Kan0601]

Arrgh!

[James XVI]

Have I woken up back in 2016? I hope so.

 

Yet more proof nobody should be relying on these fake news main stream media outlets for their Orbis news.

[Arln]

Could it be yet another fake/taken out of context leak from observer? No way!

[Krampus]

Best DoW of 2022

[Ripper]

Breaking News: 6 out of 7 captives released!

 

Within less than 24 hours, with the support of relatives and co-workers, 6 out of 7 of the captive journalists have been released, after meeting Arrgh's demands.
Following the release of the captives, peace has also been agreed between Arrgh and Serene Repubblica Fiorentina and The Almighty Corporation (exclusive photo below).

From left to right, the released journalists: ChrisNorcras (won the beard competition held between captives and pirates on-board the tuna boat), David Jones (looking almighty), Emrys the Great (looking better, but still not great), Alfred Chambers (looks like he still has symptoms of sea-sickness), Labaw Datubago (still looking like a pirate), and Ford (out of frame again, for unknown reasons).

 

Regarding the 7th captive, after a failed attempt by Borgs Assisted Loot Liberation Service to rescue him, the situation has become complicated.

From left to right: Admiral Zim (on top of the ransom), Borg (a few moments before being captured, after his failed attempt to hijack one of Arrgh's ships by using a water-gun), and Euron Greyjoy (left alone in the brig... he has completely lost it).

 

On an unrelated note, the mass-raid against USSR is still going strong.

Stay tuned for more news!

 

 

[Nonna]

Lock and load

[Zim]

1 hour ago, Ripper said:

 

Love you Ripper ❤️