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Now everybody do the propaganda


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Obligatory propaganda thread. Try to avoid discussing the war here, go do that in one of the other dozen threads.

Edited by underlordgc
  • Upvote 6

Orbis Wars   |   CSI: UPN   |   B I G O O F   |   PW Expert Has Nerve To Tell You How To Run Your Own Goddamn Alliance | Occupy Wall Street | Sheepy Sings

TheNG - My favorite part is when Steve suggests DEIC might have done something remotely successful, then gets massively shit on for proposing such a stupid idea.

On 1/4/2016 at 6:37 PM, Sheepy said:
Sheepy said:

I'm retarded, you win

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Well I for one think this war is terrible. I mean seriously who planned this? The steaks are cold the wine isn't here and the potatoes are in the wrong country! Anyone who has any experience planning a war knows a good meal is needed before every battle. This war started without so much as a luncheon. Where are all the finger foods and popcorn? You can do better than this!

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Goddammit steve  :facepalm:

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Orbis Wars   |   CSI: UPN   |   B I G O O F   |   PW Expert Has Nerve To Tell You How To Run Your Own Goddamn Alliance | Occupy Wall Street | Sheepy Sings

TheNG - My favorite part is when Steve suggests DEIC might have done something remotely successful, then gets massively shit on for proposing such a stupid idea.

On 1/4/2016 at 6:37 PM, Sheepy said:
Sheepy said:

I'm retarded, you win

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Goddammit steve  :facepalm:

Who is this steve you speak of and why isn't he as awesome as Placentica.

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The pain train is hitting hard

uhHdwE1.png

 

Pretty sure I got everyone

Edited by underlordgc

Orbis Wars   |   CSI: UPN   |   B I G O O F   |   PW Expert Has Nerve To Tell You How To Run Your Own Goddamn Alliance | Occupy Wall Street | Sheepy Sings

TheNG - My favorite part is when Steve suggests DEIC might have done something remotely successful, then gets massively shit on for proposing such a stupid idea.

On 1/4/2016 at 6:37 PM, Sheepy said:
Sheepy said:

I'm retarded, you win

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I think that clear what is need here is a sequel to TheNG's best selling, award winning novel. 

Well, I never thought I'd find someone who wanted another one of these. To be sure, everything that follows is entirely Tenages's fault.

 

But moving on. I bet you guys are looking for a gripping tale of this war and what adventure and treachery occurs. But, I'd like to rewind to the ending of our last play, where if you recall, our our friendly The Covenant and Marionette Coalition alliances all met unfortunate ends. As such, I'll pick up where my last piece ended, with a few of our past characters meeting in an odd place.

 

The Obligatory Sequel, A Play

 

Written by: TheNG

Edited by: Your Mother

 

Starring:

Seven Kingdoms as itself

The Dutch East India Company as itself

United Purple Nations as itself

Brotherhood of the Clouds as itself

Sheepy as God

 

Act 1

Scene 1 - Alliance Heaven

Scene: Puffy white clouds stretch as far as the eye can see, forming a ground of sorts. The sun shines overhead, and dead alliances wander this way and that smiling happily. A large pair of gates sits in the middle.

 

enter Seven Kingdoms

 

Seven Kingdoms

Where am I? What happened? One minute I was in the parking lot, and the next I'm here. 

 

enter The Dutch East India Company, United Purple Nations, and Brotherhood of Clouds

 

The Dutch East India Company

Where are we?

 

United Purple Nations

I think we're in heaven.

 

United Purple Nations, The Dutch East India Company, and Brotherhood of the Clouds spot Seven Kingdoms

 

Brotherhood of the Clouds

You!

 

Seven Kingdoms

You!!

 

The four alliances square up, but suddenly a large sheep in a bathrobe appears between them

 

Sheepy

Stop! Stop! There isn't any fighting allowed in heaven! A balanced and functional system of combat doesn't exist here!

 

Seven Kingdoms

What!? Who are you?

 

Sheepy

Why I'm Sheepy, of course. Ruler of Alliance Heaven.

 

The Dutch East India Company

So we are all dead, aren't we?

 

Sheepy

Of course you all died, but now you're here. We can have so much fun together!

 

Seven Kingdoms

So that means that if you all are dead, then we won! Thats great!

 

United Purple Nations

Not exactly, we kicked your asses, as expected, but then GPA killed us.

 

Seven Kingdoms

I thought they were neutral?

 

The Dutch East India Company

So did we.

 

Seven Kingdoms

So.... What now?

 

Brotherhood of the Clouds

Well I know what I'm going to do! I'm finally coming out!

 

United Purple Nations, The Dutch East India Company, Seven Kingdoms, and Sheepy

Excuse me?

 

Brotherhood of the Clouds walks a few steps away and then points accusingly at United Purple Nations and the Dutch East India Company

 

Brotherhood of the Clouds

I'm finally coming out and saying it! I only hung out with you guys cause I wanted to be popular and respected. I thought if I hung out with two incredibly handsome and popular alliances that everybody would love me! But now that we're all dead I don't need to! I'm striking out on my own, I'm going to become a powerhouse in my own right!

 

United Purple Nations

That is a really dumb idea, you still don't know how to tie your shoes! What is with all these pretensions of grandeur anyway? We were only friends for a couple weeks.

 

The Dutch East India Company

Tell me, have you ever heard of a Napoleon Complex? (sweet jesus the continuity!)

 

Brotherhood of the Clouds

Hahaha! I'm a strong, independent young alliance who don't need no protector! If self-confidence and poor communication skills can't get me through any crisis, then nothing can! Perhaps I'll even go into banking!

 

Brotherhood of the Clouds begins to march away

 

United Purple Nations

Hey! Don't turn your back on me! You need us!

 

Brotherhood of the Clouds

Hah! Watch ME! Just you wait, I'll find new friends and be running this place in no time!

 

Sheepy

looks up from to-do list absently

You can't do that, thats my job.

 

Brotherhood of the Clouds strides away over the clouds. United Purple Nations and The Dutch East India Company look on.

 

Seven Kingdoms

Uh.... Once again, now what do we do?

 

Sheepy

Are you guys done with your petty drama?

 

United Purple Nations

I guess?

 

Sheepy

Excellent! I've got a whole schedule planned out for you guys since you all died at the same time. This will be fun! Lets start with some team-building!

 

​United Purple Nations

Wait just a second! We have to hang out with Seven Kingdoms!? The Seven Kingdoms! We can't! He's a jerk who hangs out with idiots and psychopaths!

 

Seven Kingdoms

And Guardian. Don't forget Guardian.

 

United Purple Nations

Exactly! We're enemies! We just fought to the death in a parking lot a few minutes ago! We can't do team-building, even if we all just died!

 

Sheepy

You'll do team building and you'll !@#$ing like it!

 

The Dutch East India Company, United Purple Nations, and Seven Kingdoms sigh and sit in a circle.

 

Sheepy

Alright, now go around and introduce yourselves.

 

​United Purple Nations

​But we all know who we are!

 

Sheepy gives United Purple Nations a withering look

 

The Dutch East India Company

Alright, I'll start. I'm DEIC. I like establishing colonies, controlling colors, making others fight for me, being a generally awesome, well-rounded, incredibly popular alliance who is the best at everything I try. I have no flaws at all to speak of.

 

Seven Kingdoms

Hey, you know, I like some of those things to. Do you sometimes-

 

The Dutch East India Company

-roll other alliances because they look at you funny?.

 

Seven Kingdoms and The Dutch East India Company look at each other, shocked.

 

Seven Kingdoms and The Dutch East India Company

*at the same time, talking rapidly*

-Wow, we really are alike-

-You know, maybe we got off on th-

-So do you-

-I do! What do you thi-

 

​United Purple Nations stares in shock. Sheepy beams.

 

Sheepy

Excellent! Now that we've done that, lets go on a treasure hunt!

 

The Dutch East India Company and Seven Kingdoms

A treasure hunt! Cool!

 

United Purple Nations

What kind of treasure hunt? 

 

Sheepy

Oh, you know. I summon a bunch of rocks and you guys hunt for them! Winner get a hug and a measure of satisfaction!

 

United Purple Nations

That's it?! What incentive do we have to win then? This doesn't seem all that thought out. We're in heaven anyway, why do we need to do treasure hunts?

 

Sheepy

Because its the first thing that popped into my head after thirty seconds, so we're rollin with that. Don't like it, deal with it.

 

United Purple Nations

Who put you in charge of heaven anyway?

 

Sheepy

Shut up and hunt for my !@#$ing treasures, OK?

 

Sheepy floats away, while The Dutch East India Company and Seven Kingdoms follow close behind, chatting amicably. United Purple Nations walks behind them, wishing that none of this had ever happened. Suddenly, Seven Kingdoms realizes something and turns to The Dutch East India Company

 

Seven Kingdoms

Wait, so if you guys died too, then what happened to Guardian, Rose, and Terminus Est?

 

The Dutch East India Company

Well, they died to our utter, overwhelming superiority. Except for Rose, I don't know what happened to Rose.

 

Seven Kingdoms

Well, if they died too, then why aren't they here?

turns to Sheepy

Hey Sheepy! Do you know what happened to Guardian and Terminus Est? Where are they?

 

Sheepy

Well, obviously they didn't make it to heaven. 

 

Seven Kingdoms

Thats a good point, why did I ever consider they would make it Heaven? But If they aren't in Heaven, then where are they?

 

Sheepy

Alliance Hell, of course.

 

The Dutch East India Company

Alliance Hell?

 

Sheepy

Of course, did you really expect those messed up freaks to make it here? Nah, they're in Alliance Hell as we speak, probably getting a tour of the place now. Though it isn't as fun as my treasure hunt.

 

United Purple Nations

Sheepy, if you run things in Heaven, does someone run them in Hell?

 

Sheepy 

Of course, they've been running it for a past couple months. I met them at an incest convention, and they had an excellent resumé in upper-level management, torture, group control, the works. So I said, "Try it out for a little while" and its been great ever since! No complaints!

 

Seven Kingdoms

So who is it?

 

Sheepy

This fellow named BLOC. Great guy.

 

At the mention of the name, a shadow passes over the sun. Everything appears faded and unhappy for a moment before returning to normal. The Dutch East India Company, United Purple Nations, and Seven Kingdoms stand aghast, then bow their heads.

 

Sheepy

Whats wrong? Have you met BLOC too? Great guy, am I right?

 

End Scene 1

 

Well, there we are. You've reached the end of another one of these accursed things. Now that we've started, next we'll check in on Guardian and Terminus Est in Alliance Hell. This BLOC guy can't be all that bad, right?

  • Upvote 6

"They say the secret to success is being at the right place at the right time. But since you never know when the right time is going to be, I figure the trick is to find the right place and just hang around!"
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<Kastor> He left and my !@#$ nation is !@#$ed up. And the Finance guy refuses to help. He just writes his !@#$ plays.

<Kastor> And laughs and shit.

<Kastor> And gives out !@#$ huge loans to Arthur James, that !@#$ bastard.

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