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Dial Up War: Propaganda

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On 8/9/2019 at 7:43 AM, James T. Kirk said:


Nothing will top that...... greatest thing in this thread.

Also.... @Charlie Traveler You have an incredibly sexy voice, if you're not being paid millions to do voice overs one day then this world should burn.  


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I forget if I posted this already in here, sorry in advance if I did, but I want to make sure this was added to the official propaganda thread where it belongs.

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As war rages across the land, Camelot leads an aid convoy to their fellows on the front lines.

Sitting atop a castle of bags, Arthur laughed at the pitiful efforts of his subjects as they attempted to stay off the ground. A rather perturbed Dusty watched on as they fought, two knights in full plate scratching at each other’s eye sockets.

“What’s going on here?” he asked Arthur, from his lowly position on the ground.

“That is simple my warranty guaranteed companion, the floor is lava, in the age-old tradition of my forefathers, whoever survives longest attains the rank of princess and *cough*, bank access.”

Dusty’s jaw dropped as two knights tumbled onto the ground in an act of mutually assured destruction. “Well at least their motivations make sense...”, still he couldn’t help but shake his head and hope that whoever won wouldn’t ruin their operation. “How often do you guys play this game?”

Arthur pondered this for a moment, kicking away what was possibly some form of pig-midget hybrid that was destabilizing his seat. “A few times a week, sometimes more or less depending on the circumstances.”

Aghast, “How have you not been robbed! This has to be the most reckless type of succession I’ve ever heard of!” As dusty said this, a high pitch squeal erupted from the other side of the hall as what was almost definitely a chick dressed in all pink, danced on the balustrade, “I’m queen of the castle”.

The other knights looked on in horror and hunkered down as the pink woman summersaulted onto their positions, causing all manner of mayhem before rushing on to the next, leaving a trail of fallen bags, broken benches and shattered glass.

The pig hybrid from before muttered from beneath Arthur’s throne of bags, “Where he goes, chaos follows.” Landing finally on Arthur’s pillar, the king raised his hand to stop his knight, “Not one more step, but I’m pleased to announce the 666th consecutive winner of our games, Epi.”

After a grandiose bow, the extremely feminine figure turned to Dusty with a pleasing smile, before the voice of a 200 pound black man echoed throughout the station “We won’t be leaving for another twenty minutes, just rounding up the troops, nothing gets them fired up like blood, sweat and tears.”

At this point, unsurprised Dusty asked if they’d found everyone. “Almost, still a few stragglers, though look there are two now.”

A messy knight with a chicken emblazoned upon his chest plate marched alongside a dapper young man in blue, arguing back and forth as they approached their king. Epi whispered to Dusty in the voice of Morgan freeman “Blue one is William, the chicken is named chicken, confusing I know.”

Just as he started to believe things were approaching normalcy, piggy ran snout first into a gaggle of apostles, squealing and gnawing on exposed ligaments. Dusty face palmed and commented, “Why does everything you guys do, scream inappropriate.”

 Chickened perked up, “Did I hear someone over here talking about inappropriate behaviour?”

William cut in and picked up “yes, settle a debate for us. Wanting to be intimate with an enemy nation is a perfectly normal thing to be curious about, right?”

“Er, no” Arthur replied curtly, lacking his usual gusto.

Being Intimate. Makes it sound so much worse”  Dusty answered.

At this point another knight came out of the woodwork, quite literally, sending splinters flying as he woke up from inside Arthur’s baggage throne, his armour covered in a patchwork of American flags.

“Nation’s don’t even have junk!” he said waving a tiny American flag. Epi whispered to Dusty again in the voice of Scarlett Johansson “That’s Random, he’s why we demand oil during the spoils of war.”

In his posh voice William retorted “Preposterous, no matter how many I kill, there are always more of them. They must be reproducing some way.”

Chicken placed a hand on William’s shoulder and began leading him away from the disturbed gathering “Dude, let this go or at least admit it’s weird.”

As they echoed in the distance “You’ll never understand me, just like mother.”

Epi left Dusty’s side soundlessly and passed by Random on his way to grab Piggy, “You’re not totally right about that Nation’s genitals thing, but it doesn’t really matter.”

Now beginning the final boarding call for the Slayyve I

The interior of the Slayyve I was lavish, he had to admit. Clearly, they spared no expense in making sure people were pleased on their journey to the capital. A loud thump then echoed from the back of the train, and Dusty peaked his head out of their compartment for a moment to see what happened.

Epi passed him by with a few words of explanation “I had nothing to do with itz. I’ve never seen that pig before in my life.” The train shook once more, this time dislodging Arthur from his catlike perch within the luggage compartment.

As he tumbled through the air, some grace possessed him and he landed on his feet, acting like nothing happened he commanded “We should probably check that out.”

Meanwhile atop the train, William and Chicken duelled two monstrous enemy nations, one a sketchy looking clone and the other a beefy 400-pound demon who only repeated his name. ‘Oh my god it’s a Pokémon’ Dusty thought to himself, as he peaked at the scene atop the ladder on the side of the train.

“Ah, this will be my chance!”

“No, Will, don’t do this. No nut November just pushed you over the edge”

“Let me live my dream”


Will smiled triumphantly “Look, it is even doing a mating cry. Just for me!”

“Think about what that crazy American said, they don’t even have Junk”

“Then I shall make my own holes”

William has achieved Air superiority

Dusty turned away, ‘oh my god, he’s actually doing it’. When he risked another look at the battlefield he watched as the beast of a Pokémon ate the man in a single bite and regurgitated him like a projectile off the train.

Enemy has achieved Ground Control

From a window seat at the back of the train Epi watched him fall, “Godspeed, you crazy bastard”.

Dusty ducked down before the creature saw him and noticed something peculiar, a periscope, which turned to him in kind “I don’t wanna fight this war anymore.”

“Yeah…yeah, I know what you mean” Arthur said to console his American friend who promptly dropped the periscope where it plummeted into the tracks, dislodging a wheel and sending the train wild. A tiny robotic hamster-fly buzzed away, carrying this rumour to his lord and saviour.

Chicken, dashing along the roof of the train attempted to find a moments peace. “Alright the guy lost his mind, but I still gotta do this for him, gotta delete his browser history and nation activity.”

Chicken turned expecting to see the monsters but for some reason they were gone, from below he heard an Australian voice “Ayy, you, turkey. Listen your buddy, whilst he is crazy and I don’t endorse his choices, he’s sorta on the right track and you know, we’ve all been there at some point”.

Chicken yelled back “What?!”

And Epi concluded the discussion “Tunnel!!!”


Dusty dropped back inside the train as they began passing through the tunnel, “I think he made it” he told Arthur reassuringly, though they were moving too fast for him to see anything clearly.

A splatter of blood and feathers then painted the window opposite them. ‘Oh my god’, he screamed internally as Arthur raised his fist jovially

“Of course, he’s one of my knights after all, now let’s go celebrate our daring escape with the others”. Piggi scurried past them in quite the rush, almost trotting over Arthur’s foot.

“Where are you off to in such a rush”

“Epi left a note to detach Afrika’s unit as soon as we’d left the tunnel.”

“But we’re still in the tunnel”

Piggi nodded, “exactly”

Trotting off, Dusty asked the obvious question, “So where is Epi?”

Arthur pondered for a second, “pretty sure he was near their unit to gloat or something…oh, shit.”

“You sick, son of a boar!” the yell pierced their ears with the velocity of bad panzer anime, squared to the power of memes.

Dusty idly watched as they exited the tunnel and the two units at the tail end of the train ran off the rails and after a few seconds of promising flight, plummeted into the snowy forest below.

“So, what’s up with the pig and Epi anyway?”

“Something about pagans and pigs, he might’ve tried to sacrifice him… I really can’t remember to be honest.”

Random took a deep breath and offered their final words to the lost companions “sayonara, we’ll keep the bank safe whilst your gone”. Arthur previously jovial realized his peril, ‘Ah, Shit’.

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5 hours ago, Edward I said:

You spelled "preferred" incorrectly.

Hey! Let him think for himself!

Classic NPO authoritarian scum... You should be ashamed of yourself! :<

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13 hours ago, Edward I said:

You spelled "preferred" incorrectly.

Oops. No spiik americano. 

Edited by alyster

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16 hours ago, Edward I said:

You spelled "preferred" incorrectly.

It's just one R less

Your side keeps spelling victory instead of defeat

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Bankers: "I tell people not to judge me by my winners, but by my losers, since i have so few"
KERTOG: "I tell people to judge me by my stats, not my planes, since i have so few"

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On 8/11/2019 at 1:44 AM, alyster said:



Edit: all of them are actual Roq quotes word for word. 

Being fair, they aren't lying about not trusting KETOG or Chaos ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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On 8/11/2019 at 12:38 PM, alyster said:







I'm loving the Trump stuff. 


(make pw great again)


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5 hours ago, Micchan said:

Leave them to me, you just need to destroy the black and blue star


@redfive Hey mate, Akarin over here might be trying to steal your identity. ;V 

Also, mfw when I see the new NPO invasion force....

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On 8/16/2019 at 5:17 PM, Robert Taber said:

Genie: You have three wishes




Love you. ❤️

What about the other two wishes?

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