The Fighting Pacifists Declare Victory

[Sea 100]

 

 

Over our arch-rivals, our truest enemies, pretty much the exact opposite of what we stand for,

Terminus Est.

 

Now you might be asking: "Wait, what?" or saying: "That doesn't make sense."

You're right to think that way, at least at first.

 

 

You see, as the resident archivist at TFP, it's my job to make sure all of our documentation is order, for history and the like. And making sure people aren't committing tax fraud.

 

And while I was making sure that no one was paying any taxes, I discovered something truly harrowing.

 

TEst had declared war on us. And occupied us. Which was scary in its own right, considering I was in the alliance at the time and the occupation caused our old Facilitator to quit. (rip cromwell/morty)

 

But. The truly, truly terrifying part?

The dates didn't add up.

The only post on November 11? Bank Robbery. On November 1? Avansies. Avansies. Micros, and Micro peaces.

 

Coincidence? I think not.

Bank Robbery is stealing. If you steal from a micro, it's like stealing from a baby.

TEst broke apart into three alliances. Western Union, Cobra Kai Dojo, and Knights Templar. Baby cobras have full strength venom, and Catholics baptize their children as soon as possible, often with a month after birth. Western Union is based off of Nigeria, which has one of the highest population growth rates of the world. They make babies.

Do you see what I'm getting at yet?

Neither do I.

But considering these ever-spawning catholic cobra babies, there's a clear threat going on. One that will take down all of Orbis when all of these venom monk children become adolescents.

Angst. They'll get angsty and take it out on their parents.

But they only have on parent, and it's not Alex. (We all know he's disowned all of us anyway)

It's TEst.

Now like a month ago or so (I wasn't paying attention) there was Terminus Jest.

Jest.

Jest is defined as "a thing said or done for amusement; a joke."

They were making fun of Terminus Est.

And Terminus Est died because of it.

That's why TFP has won, since TEst is gone.

But wait. TFP fought TEst literally, which we all know ended poorly for TFP.

It was mockery that killed TEst in the end.

They say mockery is the sincerest form of flattery.

Flattery.

Flatulence. It smells bad.

You know what also smells bad?

The breath of people who don't brush their teeth.

That's because their teeth get covered in plaque and bacteria and all sorts of nasty germs.

Germs that could carry the plague.

But do you know what they made toothbrushes out of?

Horsehair.

That's the real issue in all of this.

 

Horses.

 

All content is hereby signed and only backed up by TFP adviser Sea. This message does not represent the views of the entirety of The Fighting Pacifists alliance, nor a plurality of it. Take with a grain of salt, as always, and remember to fact check what you see online, as some statements might be factual while others might be blatant lies. 

 

 

 

21 hours ago, LordStrum said:

I pine for the days of good shitposting.

Ask and you shall receive.

 

Also, we formally declare war on Horsemen, if it wasn't clear enough.

[Kurdanak 8821]

[Pubstomper 680]

[Buorhann 7093]

Ok, this was just too good.

Major props, major fricking props.

[Ungawa Jones 148]

Now that was pretty ungawa, my man.

[Turner 74]

Much respect to TFP keep up the good work. 

[Forethought 116]

Heck yeah more DoWs

[Epi 1893]

Congrats on the victory, now all you need to do is Occupy the "TEst" name

[Sea 100]

1 hour ago, Epi said:

Congrats on the victory, now all you need to do is Occupy the "TEst" name

Something tells me that wouldn't go over well

[Kurdanak 8821]

Really though, shootout to whoever has been writing these killer TFP announcements lately.

[Quichwe10 272]

6 minutes ago, Kurdanak said:

Really though, shootout to whoever has been writing these killer TFP announcements lately.

Locally sourced. Sea typed this one up, I did the WiFi one.

[Zed 243]

Now this is some quality shitposting.

[Sea 100]

6 minutes ago, Zed said:

Now this is some quality shitposting.

My work here is done.

[Epi 1893]

2 hours ago, Sea said:

Something tells me that wouldn't go over well

You'll never know until you try  

[Dio Brando 2319]

Tbh, kind of want to see TFP declare war on just about everyone to get more of this.

[Peter Quill 831]

2 minutes ago, Dio Brando said:

Tbh, kind of want to see TFP declare war on just about everyone to get more of this.

I mean, April 1 is just a few days away...

[Raoul Duke 407]

Oh, well that's why all of the people are dying.

This just makes more sense now. 

.  

Edited March 29, 2018 by Mikalus II

[japan77 140]

On 3/28/2018 at 7:48 PM, Epi said:

Congrats on the victory, now all you need to do is Occupy the "TEst" name

Sorry, but I beat them to that.

[Epi 1893]

Just now, japan77 said:

Sorry, but I beat them to that.

I meant alliance name, but good effort