God Emperor Dio Brando is bored

[LordStrum]

It has recently come to my attention that Orbis makes it a point to make individuals indifferent to the survival of their families. First and foremost, it's obviously under the influence of LSD or some other hallucinogenic. Why else would Orbis insist that it has achieved sainthood? Orbis keeps telling everyone within earshot that it's okay for it to indulge its every whim and lust without regard for anyone else or for society as a whole. I'm guessing that Orbis read that on some Web site of dubious validity. More reliable sources generally indicate that I profess that someday the vast majority of people will be eager to bear witness to the plain, unvarnished truth. As we look to our future, however, we need to remain cognizant of our past. For example, we must always remember that if I recall correctly, the unalterable law of biology has a corollary that is generally overlooked. Specifically, I don't know if Orbis is consciously and purposely evil or merely conscienceless. I do know, however, that it teaches workshops on insurrectionism. Students who have been through the program compare it to a Communist re-education camp.

 

Even if Orbis's facts were reliable, they were gathered selectively and then manipulated towards favored conclusions. Were he alive today, Hideki Tojo would be Orbis's most trustworthy ally. I can see Tojo joining forces with Orbis to help it deny citizens the ability to draw their own conclusions about the potential for violence that it may be generating. If there's a rule, and Orbis keeps making exceptions to that rule, then what good is the rule? I mean, given a choice of having Orbis leave behind a legacy of perpetual indebtedness in developing countries or having my bicuspids extracted sans Novocaine, I would embrace the pliers, purchase some Polident Partials, and call it a day. Nice try to destroy that which is the envy of—and model for—the entire civilized world, Orbis. Orbis is environmentally favored and genetically predisposed to violating all the rules of decorum. That much is crystal clear. But did you know that Orbis's vexatious tractates create and sustain inequality, hierarchy, and privilege? That's why I'm telling you that what's scary is that Orbis has had some success at annihilating a person's personality, individuality, will, and character. Even worse, it seems likely that Orbis will shatter and ultimately destroy our most precious possessions in a lustrum or two. Although things may seem dark now, Orbis can't prevent the sun from rising. It can't prevent me from writing that if I said that its commentaries will spread enlightenment to the masses, nurture democracy, reestablish the bonds of community, bring us closer to God, and generally work to the betterment of Man and society, I'd be a liar. But I'd be being thoroughly honest if I said that Orbis is known for walking into crowded rooms and telling everyone there that the government's policies should be at odds with the will of the people. Try, if you can, to concoct a statement better calculated to show how mischievous Orbis is. You can't do it. Not only that, but I didn't want to talk about this. I really didn't. But it has said that cell-phone towers are in fact covert mind-control devices that use scalar waves to beam images into people's brains while they sleep. Furthermore, the language Orbis used to say that demonstrates allotheism and maybe the onset of early senility.

 

I may not be perfect, but at least I'm not afraid to say that Orbis must sense its own irremediable inferiority. That's why it is so desperate to egg on negative externalities in the form of evasion, collusion, and corruption; it's the only way for it to distinguish themselves from the herd. It would be a lot nicer, however, if Orbis also realized that it pretends to have the solution for everything. In reality, Orbis creates more problems for the rest of us to solve. Consider, for example, how statements like, “Its objectives are uniformly riddled by an unbelievable degree of ignorance†accurately express the feelings of most of us here. I have one final message for you before ending this letter: We can safely assume that it is surely unreasonable to assert that this is the best of all possible worlds and that Orbis is the best of all possible organizations.

[Spooner]

>Short but sweet

 

Okay, lol.

 

Edited January 23, 2016 by Syrup

[Nadir Aminu]

Don't you just love the complaint generator?

[LordRahl2]

I am going to make this short but sweet:

 

>Blathers on and on.  mmmkay.

[Sam Hyde]

I would like to clarify some comments I made recently regarding MENSA HQ. First and foremost, MENSA HQ is good at stirring its patsies into a frenzied lunacy of hatred and vengeance. Doing so blinds them to the fact that the right thing to do in this case is determined by various vectors of forces in an endless multidimensional tug-of-war involving ropes leading out in many directions. If you don't believe me, see for yourself.

 

MENSA HQ should not crush people to the earth and then claim the right to trample on them forever because they are prostrate. Not now, not ever. Every time MENSA HQ utters or writes a statement that supports Oblomovism—even indirectly—it sends a message that the only way to expand one's mind is with drugs—or maybe even chocolate. I indubitably aver that we mustn't let it make such statements, partly because it has been striving to create an environment in which the bright rays of sunshine fall warmly on it but are blocked by a shadow of jujuism from ever reaching anyone else, but primarily because I think I know why it's so intent on draining the national fisc. MENSA HQ uses such behavior as a hollow, saccharine palliative for a soul wrenched by serious internal contradictions. This explains why while it's out strapping us down with a network of rules and regulations, the general public is shouldering the bill. Sadly, this is a bill of shattered minds, broken hearts and homes, depression and all its attendant miseries, and a despondency about MENSA HQ's attempts to apotheosize bellicose blackguards.

 

You don't need to be a rocket scientist to detect the subtext of this letter. But just in case it's too subliminal for some, let me thrust it into your face right here: MENSA HQ's jokes are based on a technique I'm sure you've heard of. It's called “lyingâ€. Given MENSA HQ's record of shady dealings, we can say that the caricature that often passes today for a critique of its manifestos assumes that the world is crying out to labor beneath its firm but benevolent heel. This caricature has been proven wrong historically. The reality is that MENSA HQ has managed to convince a vast assortment of people that it is clean and bright and pure inside. That's just further evidence that the most insidious thing in the world is nonsense that sounds just plausible enough to listen to. It's the sort of nonsense that prevents people from seeing that there is no doubt that MENSA HQ will tour the country promoting wicked prætorianism in lectures and radio talk-show interviews by next weekend. Believe me, I would give everything I own to be wrong on that point, but the truth is that MENSA HQ's latest diatribe is MENSA HQ-style lunacy at its very finest. Every despicable word of that diatribe paints a perfect picture of MENSA HQ's hysteria and reveals that in asserting that we have no reason to be fearful about the criminally violent trends in our society today and over the past ten to fifteen years, MENSA HQ demonstrates an astounding narrowness of vision.

 

Since this is one of those “don't say I didn't warn you†letters, I want also to note that when I hear MENSA HQ say that it is a tireless protector of civil rights and civil liberties for all people, I have to wonder about it. Is it absolutely small-minded? Is it simply being peccable? Or is it merely embracing a delusion in which it must believe in order to continue believing in itself? This is a question that goes beyond philosophy to the central issue of power: who has it, how do they wield it, and in whose interests do they use it? In the case of MENSA HQ, it's pretty clear that it uses power to take advantage of human fallibility to prostrate the honor, power, independence, laws, and property of entire countries. Of course, if it continues to dupe people into believing that its rodomontades can give us deeper insights into the nature of reality, crime will escalate as schools deteriorate, corruption increases, and quality of life plummets.

 

Satanic officialism is a disgrace to humanity but it cannot be eliminated by moral lectures or by pious intentions. No, it can be eradicated only if we convert retreat into advance. Would we, as thinking people, believe humanity-haters who tried to tell us we're all amoral? I say “no.†Never mind that MENSA HQ has an almost mystical faith in particularism. What's really important is that the whole of MENSA HQ's egocentric worldview may perhaps be expressed in one simple word. That word is “materialismâ€. Let me explain: I will stop at nothing to demonstrate conclusively that I treasure discourse and debate. My resolve cannot fully be articulated, but it is unyielding. As evidence, consider that MENSA HQ is causing all sorts of problems for us. We must grasp these problems with both hands and deal with them in a forthright way.

 

I am not predicting anything specific. I just have a feeling, an intuition, based on several things that are happening now that MENSA HQ will treat people like alabandical purveyors of malice and hatred in the blink of an eye. If MENSA HQ had its way, schools would teach students that science is merely a tool invented by the current elite to maintain power. This is not education but indoctrination. It prevents students from learning about how before MENSA HQ once again claims that it can succeed without trying, it should do some real research rather than simply play a game of bias reinforcement with its underlings.

 

If MENSA HQ gets its way, none of us will be able to subject its squibs to the rigorous scrutiny they warrant. Therefore, we must not let MENSA HQ perpetuate the myth that coercion in the name of liberty is a valid use of state power. MENSA HQ has worn out its welcome. That's the current situation, and if you have any doubt about the reality of it, then you haven't been paying close enough attention to what's been happening in the world.

 

For the sake of clarity, let me quickly note that life is a search for the true, the good, and the beautiful. It is not, as MENSA HQ maintains, an excuse to rob us of our lives, our health, our honor, and our belongings. What is MENSA HQ's current objective? As usual, there are multiple objectives:

• to waste natural resources,
• to unleash a wave of immorality and promiscuity, and
• to waste hours and hours of our time in fruitless conferences and meetings.

If anything, I've run into some distressing examples of confirmation bias among MENSA HQ's hatchet men. For instance, they avow that MENSA HQ has a fearless dedication to reason and truth. Interestingly, though, they fail to notice that if I recall correctly, MENSA HQ has been paddling around in the swampy parts of sanity. Why else would it warrant that it is an institution of morality, achievements, and noble qualities, one that often sacrifices its own reputation or safety in order to pursue that which is right and those things that truly matter?

 

The bulk of malodorous galoots are at least marginally tolerable but not MENSA HQ. One wonders if MENSA HQ has the cheek to project a stream of damnable images of death, sex, disaster, material goods, celebrities, and other fixtures in a mock-Olympian firmament. I certainly hope not because for its aggressive plans to succeed, MENSA HQ needs to dumb down our society. An uninformed populace is easier to control and manipulate than an educated populace. Any day now, schoolchildren will stop being required to learn the meanings of words like “superphlogistication†and “anthropocentricalâ€. They will be incapable of comprehending that MENSA HQ's vitriolic, impolitic game of chess—the uneducated chess of larrikinism—has continued for far too long. It's time to checkmate this impertinent, sinful rumormonger and show it that it has been fairly successful in its efforts to force me to undergo “treatment†to cure my “problemâ€. That just goes to show what can be done with a little greed, a complete lack of scruples, and the help of a bunch of directionless, nasty scofflaws.

 

If I thought that MENSA HQ's hate sheets had even a snowball's chance in Hell of doing anything good for anyone, then I wouldn't be so critical. As they stand, however, I can conclude only that MENSA HQ can't relate to anyone other than the most pathological clods I've ever seen. Of that I am certain because MENSA HQ's unsophisticated demands are meticulously designed to keep the population unaware, uneducated, dumbed down, and focused on stupefying activities like video games. The intention is to prevent people from noticing that MENSA HQ has been perpetuating what we all know is a corrupt system. Let me conclude by expressing the hope that by reading this letter you have learned the life lesson, “Always extend the compass of democracy to perverted wisenheimers.â€

Edited January 23, 2016 by Mammon

[Dwemyrn]

Do you expect me anyone to read any of those long bodies of text? FFs

Edited January 23, 2016 by Ansom

[Ayayay]

>Short but sweet

 

>Blathers on and on.  mmmkay.

Whatever happened to community standards? If you've ever wondered about the answer to that question, then read on. There are a number of reasons Syrup and LordRhal2 isn't telling us as to why it wants to spit in the face of propriety. In this letter, I will expose those reasons one-by-one, on the principle that we must change the minds of those who borrow money and spend it on programs that foment purblind forms of political tyranny. As mentioned above, however, that is not enough. It is necessary to do more. It is necessary to turn random, senseless violence into meaningful action. Syrup and LordRhal2 always cavils at my attempts to maintain the great principles of virtue, truth, right, and honor. That's probably because we must work together to reinvigorate our collective commitment to building and maintaining a sensitive, tolerant, and humane community. What can you do to help? For starters, you might want to hinder the power of malignant plunderers like Syrup and LordRhal2. I personally derive great satisfaction in doing that sort of thing because I, for one, thrive on debates, statistics, and getting the facts right. And the facts in this case indicate that one of Syrup and LordRhal2's co-conspirators keeps throwing “scientific†studies at me, claiming they prove that wars end only when a goodhearted, newly enlightened tyrant heeds the advice of transnational peace activists. The studies are full of “ifâ€s, “possiblyâ€s, “maybeâ€s, and various exceptions and admissions of their limitations. This leaves the studies inconclusive at best and works of fiction at worst. The only thing these studies can possibly prove is that Syrup and LordRhal2 once had the audacity to tell me that the most spleenful sectarians you'll ever see are easily housebroken. My riposte was that people sometimes ask me why I seem incapable of saying anything nice about it. I'd like to—really, I would. The problem is, I can't think of anything nice to say. I guess that's not surprising when you consider that Syrup and LordRhal2 wants us to feel sorry for the morally repugnant vigilantes who bring ugliness and nastiness into our lives. I, not being one of the many randy provincials of this world, contend we should instead feel sorry for their victims, all of whom know full well that one of the goals of cronyism is to render meaningless the words “best†and “worstâ€. Syrup and LordRhal2 admires that philosophy because, by annihilating human perceptions of quality, Syrup and LordRhal2's own mediocrity can flourish.

 

Fortunately, the groundswell of quiet opposition to Syrup and LordRhal2 is getting less quiet and more organized. Still, an injustice anywhere is an injustice everywhere. Keep that in mind the next time you catch Syrup and LordRhal2 using both overt and covert deceptions to take over society's eyes, ears, mind, and spirit. Can you really blame me for suggesting that common sense should render unwarranted any claim that war is peace, freedom is slavery, and ignorance is strength? Syrup and LordRhal2 wants us to emulate the White Queen from Lewis Carroll's Through the Looking Glass, who strives to believe “as many as six impossible things before breakfastâ€. Then again, even the White Queen would have trouble believing that every word that leaves Syrup and LordRhal2's mouth is teeming with useful information. I, speaking as someone who is not an unholy sciolist, prefer to believe things that my experience tells me are true, such as that in order to change the direction in which our society is headed we must face our problems realistically, get to the root of our problems, and be determined to solve them. And that's just the first step. Remember, Syrup and LordRhal2 must be suffering from some severe mental strabismus to think that the kids on the playground are happy to surrender to the school bully. That conclusion is not based on some sort of insincere philosophy or on Syrup and LordRhal2-style mental masturbation but on widely known and proven principles of science. These principles explain that Syrup and LordRhal2, with its craftiness and oppugnant proposed social programs, will entirely control our country's exuberant riches any day now. Syrup and LordRhal2 will then use those riches to bar workers from participation in the social totality as fully developing individuals. The moral of this story is that its childish drones fundamentally believe that it commands an army of robots that live in the hollow center of the earth and produce earthquakes whenever they feel like shaking things up a bit on the surface. Alas, this deeply held belief is fiction from start to finish. Every piece of evidence I can find makes it abundantly clear that Syrup and LordRhal2's cranky jeremiads are in full flower, and their poisonous petals of boosterism are blooming all around us.

 

Syrup and LordRhal2 deeply believes that it has a “special†perspective on revisionism that carries with it a “special†right to create an atmosphere of mistrust in which speculations and rumors gain the appearance of viability and compete openly with more carefully considered theories. Meanwhile, back on Earth, the truth is very simple: We must understand that Syrup and LordRhal2 has become Death, the destroyer of worlds. And we must formulate that understanding into as clear and cogent a message as possible. Rather than pick out appropriate verbs and nouns, Syrup and LordRhal2 pads all of its sentences with extra syllables to grant them an atmosphere of authority. I, on the other hand, prefer to use simple language to express the sentiment that I condemn Syrup and LordRhal2's gross and systematic violations of human rights. I'm not just talking about the arbitrary detentions, enforced disappearances, torture, and summary executions but also about my previous observation that Syrup and LordRhal2 is addicted to the feeling of power, to the idea of controlling people. Sadly, it has no real concern for the welfare or the destiny of the people it desires to lead. Syrup and LordRhal2 is a tribute to our collective gullibility. Promise us anything that sounds cheap, free, or too good to be true, and you've got us hooked. That's why so many people believe Syrup and LordRhal2 when it says that the more strepitant the communication, the more perspicuous the message. The reality, in contrast, is that it is not necessary to continue living with the risks induced by its mingy recommendations in order reap the cautionary benefits bestowed by the knowledge that there's an important difference between me and Syrup and LordRhal2. Namely, I am willing to die for my cause. Syrup and LordRhal2, in contrast, is willing to kill for its—or, if not to kill, at least to canonize aggressive scapegraces as nomological emblems of propriety.

 

You may wonder why Syrup and LordRhal2 is fiddling while Rome burns. It's simply because Syrup and LordRhal2's ill-bred prevarications are meticulously designed to keep the population unaware, uneducated, dumbed down, and focused on stupefying activities like video games. The intention is to prevent people from noticing that Syrup and LordRhal2 has been fostering lexiphanicism at every opportunity. I allege it can safely be said that I must admit that I've read only a small fraction of Syrup and LordRhal2's analects. (As a well-known aphorism states, it is not necessary to eat all of an apple to learn that it is rotten.) Nevertheless, I've read enough of Syrup and LordRhal2's analects to know that Syrup and LordRhal2's cheerleaders believe that Syrup and LordRhal2's statements prevent smallpox. Although it is perhaps impossible to change the perspective of those who have such beliefs, I wish nevertheless to find more constructive contexts in which to work toward resolving conflicts.

 

Syrup and LordRhal2 has been using all sorts of jiggery-pokery to convince people that the sky is falling. That worldview may be appealing, at least to the most incompetent flakes you'll ever see, but it severely limits our national conversation on critical policy issues. Perhaps more painfully, Syrup and LordRhal2 has been going around claiming that trees cause more pollution than automobiles do. When challenged about the veracity of that message, Syrup and LordRhal2 attributed its contradictions of the truth to “poetic licenseâ€. That means “lyingâ€.

 

One often finds Syrup and LordRhal2 in the company of brassbound mobsters or other unsavory characters, which makes it obvious to me that Syrup and LordRhal2's method (or school, or ideology—it is hard to know exactly what to call it) goes by the name of “Syrup and LordRhal2-ismâ€. It is an inarticulate and avowedly revolting philosophy that aims to write off whole sections of society. The “facts†Syrup and LordRhal2 has often stated contain some serious distortions. Some are blatant; others are subtle. One of the most invidious is Syrup and LordRhal2's discussion of shiftless sandbaggers. We must make technical preparations for the achievement of freedom and human independence. Our children depend on that.

 

Sure, some of Syrup and LordRhal2's calumnies are valid but that's not the point. Many, many people have been hurt by Syrup and LordRhal2 for daring to renew those institutions of civil society—like families, schools, churches, and civic groups—that expose its hastily mounted campaigns for what they really are. In fact, there are so many such people that even listing their names would take more space than I can afford in this letter. In their honor, though, I will say that if we let Syrup and LordRhal2 do everything possible to keep cynical tasteless-types disgraceful and waspish, then greed, corruption, and Zendicism will characterize the government. Oppressive measures will be directed against citizens. And lies and deceit will be the stock-in-trade of the media and educational institutions.

 

Are you beginning to get the picture here? Although chimpanzees can be convinced to wear clothing, understand commands, and even ride bicycles (if well paid for their services in bananas), it would be virtually impossible to convince Syrup and LordRhal2 that there isn't so much as a molecule of evidence that it is not only acceptable but indeed desirable to dispense bread and circuses to unstable hell-raisers to entice them to tinker about with a lot of halfway prescriptions. The only reason that Syrup and LordRhal2 claims otherwise is that despite what it claims, Syrup and LordRhal2's slimy paroxysms do not exist to create balance and harmony between yin and yang, between masculine and feminine energies. In fact, quite the opposite is true: Syrup and LordRhal2's lynch mob appears to be growing in number. I, speaking as someone who is not an asinine, politically incorrect libertine, pray that this is analogous to the flare-up of a candle just before extinction, yet I keep reminding myself that Syrup and LordRhal2 is still going around insisting that we should be grateful for the precious freedom to be robbed and kicked in the face by such a noble creature as it. Jeez, I thought I had made it perfectly clear to it that like many wishy-washy Zendiks, it is a hater. But it worse than other haters. Syrup and LordRhal2 wants to put its hatred into action and palliate and excuse the atrocities of its lackeys. This worries me because the basal lie that underlies all of Syrup and LordRhal2's vile, crude ideals is that a book's value to the reader is somehow influenced by the color of the author's skin. Translation: Syrup and LordRhal2 can scare us by using big words like “indistinguishabilityâ€. I doubt you need any help from me to identify the supreme idiocy of those views, but you should nevertheless be aware that Syrup and LordRhal2 has been fairly successful in its efforts to tell everyone else what to do. That just goes to show what can be done with a little greed, a complete lack of scruples, and the help of a bunch of the worst sorts of effete crumbums I've ever seen.

 

Syrup and LordRhal2's surrogates have been running around recently trying to thrust all of us into scenarios rife with personal animosities and petty resentments. Meanwhile, Syrup and LordRhal2 has been preparing to toy with our opinions. The whole episode smacks of a carefully orchestrated operation. If you ask me, I once told Syrup and LordRhal2's intimates that Syrup and LordRhal2 has a blatant disregard for society's basic laws. As a result, I witnessed in them a paranoia that reached astonishing new levels of hysteria, which made me realize that Syrup and LordRhal2's delitescent goal is to cause the destruction of human ambition and joy. The toll in human suffering and the loss of innocent lives that will ensue are clearly nonissues for it. Experience should probably indicate that in the absence of any meaningful way to give our propaganda fighters an instrument that is very much needed at this time, many people retreat into laagers of place, race, or religion as a means of self-defense against Syrup and LordRhal2.

 

With Syrup and LordRhal2's announcements hanging over us like the Sword of Damocles, it makes sense that Syrup and LordRhal2 wants to misdirect our efforts into fighting each other rather than into understanding the nature and endurance of uncompromising etatism. You know what groups have historically wanted to do the same thing? Fascists and Nazis. If anything will free us from the shackles of Syrup and LordRhal2's disagreeable tractates, it's knowledge of the world as it really is. It's knowledge that its annoying henchmen like to shout, “Let's retard the free and natural economic development of various countries' indigenous population. That'll be wonderful. Hooray, hooray!†But that won't be wonderful. Rather, it'll lead a subversive jihad against those who oppose Syrup and LordRhal2. One last thing: Syrup and LordRhal2's mentality reminds me of the stereotypical bureaucrat who cannot function unless he can “find it in the manualâ€.

[Longbowe]

>Short but sweet

 

Okay, lol.

 

Edited January 23, 2016 by UNKNOWN

[Dwemyrn]

Long story short, get those nudes ready so peace can be made. 

[BeachBunny]

Yall have way to much time on your hands!

[Avruch]

The only thing worse than being ignorant is not knowing how ignorant you are. That's Metro's problem. Let me give you a vastly oversimplified yet still basically true explanation of why I say that many people lie. Metro, however, lies with such ease it's troubling. If I recall correctly, I recently heard a famous celebrity—I forgot which one—say, “Even Metro must concede that it is undeniable by anyone but the worst classes of obstinate practitioners of frotteurism I've ever seen that corruption, lying, and hypocrisy are the fundaments of his paroxysms.†That's such a great quote, I wish I had been the one who thought of it. Sadly, the cleverest thing I ever said was that if Metro thinks that divine ichor flows through his veins, then he's sadly mistaken.

 

Metro's screeds are a logical absurdity, a series of deductions from a premise that has been denied. Speaking of absurdities, as that last sentence suggests, many institutions define “harassment†as “unwanted conduct that annoys, threatens, or alarms a person or group.†Based on that definition, Metro's scuppering my initiative to scrap the entire constellation of picayunish ideas that brought us to our present point is indeed a lamebrained form of harassment. We need to make people aware of his harassing behavior and, more specifically, inform them that I am not concerned with rumors or hearsay about him. I am interested only in ascertained facts attested by published documents and in these primarily as an illustration that it's a pity that two thousand years after Christ, the voices of dour, whiney heretics like Metro can still be heard, worse still that they're listened to, and worst of all that anyone believes them.

 

There is one crucial fact that we must not overlook if we are to perceive our current situation as it is, rather than in the anamorphosis of some “ideology†such as collectivism or cynicism. Specifically, either Metro has no real conception of the sweep of history, or he is merely intent on winning some debating pin by trying to pierce a hole in my logic with “facts†that are taken out of context. My personal safety depends upon your starting to set the stage so that my next letter will begin from a new and much higher level of influence, just as your personal safety depends upon my doing the same. For the benefit of any doubting Thomases I will prove that point via an explanation of how Metro avouches that character development is not a matter of “strength through adversity†but rather, “entitlement through victimizationâ€. I respond that when I first heard that there exists a bloodthirsty, self-indulgent fugitive who has been breaking up society's solidarity and cohesiveness, I was totally bumfuzzled. Who could be so inattentive, so deficient in human grace, as to do such a thing? After learning that Metro was the feebleminded ignorant-type in question, I realized that Metro does, occasionally, make a valid point. But when he says that he can make all of our problems go away merely by sprinkling some sort of magic pink pixie dust over everything that he considers simple-minded or disreputable, that's where the facts end and the ludicrousness begins.

 

Metro contends that a knowledge of correct diction, even if unused, evinces a superiority that covers cowardice or stupidity. Sound suspicious? Hectoring is a better word. Before I continue, let me state that I myself intend to look closely at his escapades to see what makes them so effectual at crushing national and spiritual values out of existence and substituting the execrable and politically incorrect machinery of triumphalism. I should expect to find—this is a guess that I currently lack sufficient knowledge to verify—that I wish I didn't have to be the one to break the news that I myself still believe in duty, honor, and country. Nevertheless, I cannot afford to pass by anything that may help me make my point. So let me just state that I and Metro part company when it comes to the issue of sensationalism. He feels that he's renowned for his racial and cultural sensitivity while I feel that I often see churlish popinjays defying the law of the land. Should we blame white privilege, hegemonic masculinity, heteronormativity, and internalized oppression? No, we should blame Metro because Metro's criticisms of my letters have never successfully disproved a single fact I ever presented. Instead, his criticisms are based solely on his emotions and gut reactions. Well, I refuse to get caught up in Metro's “I think … I believe … I feel†game.

 

Someone just showed me a memo supposedly written by Metro. The memo spells out his plans to spew forth ignorance and prejudice. If this memo is authentic, it tells us that I am aware that many people may object to the severity of my language. But is there no cause for severity? Naturally, I, speaking as someone who is not an intolerant troll, insist that there is because Metro sees no reason why he shouldn't eat our nation to its bones. It is only through an enlightened, outraged citizenry that such moral turpitude, corruption, and degradation of the law can be brought to a halt. So, let me enlighten and outrage you by stating that Metro's “I'm right and you're wrong†attitude is doctrinaire because it leaves no room for compromise. In closing, although this letter has been lengthy there are still a large number of comments about Metro that I have had to leave aside. I didn't even begin to mention, for instance, that Metro's cock-and-bull stories are the perfect exemplification of the entire panoply of heinous views held by chippy fainéants. Anyway, the important point is that it is easy to see from the foregoing that nativism is the first link in the series by which Metro proceeds towards a hatred of all mankind.

[aaaaddd22]

If Mensa declared war on Vanguard, they wouldn't be ahead of Arrgh on the rankings.

[BeachBunny]

Also your alliance is basically all beiged? Why wouldn't you attack and then DoW not let us know and then just sit there beiged...

[Longbowe]

Also your alliance is basically all beiged? Why wouldn't you attack and then DoW not let us know and then just sit there beiged...

You missed the part where Mensa HQ attacked Vanguard, not the other way around.

[Dwemyrn]

 

This announcement brought to you by Vanguard.

 

 

The God Emperor Dio Brando has taught us not to be afraid to call things wrong when it does something, says something, stands for something, or engages in something that violates the values in which we believe. First off, Vanguard feels that it does the things it does “for the childrenâ€. That concept is, of course, complete bunk by any stretch of the imagination. However, it is bunk that has survived virtually unchanged from when it was first proposed nearly half a century ago by cold-blooded poltroons to its present incarnation in Vanguard's haughty recommendations. Vanguard unmistakably believes that everyone who scrambles aboard the Vanguard bandwagon is guaranteed a smooth ride. What kind of Humpty-Dumpty world is it living in? Apparently, even know-it-all Vanguard doesn't know the answer to that one. It wouldn't even matter if it did, given that the practice of intersectionality—that is, taking into account the way different forms of oppression mutually reinforce each other and differentially affect different subgroups—was not developed for the sake of a “more oppressed than you†competition. It was developed precisely in order to spark a powerful student movement that will fight for justice everywhere.

 

My point here is that Vanguard is an opportunist. That is, it is an ideological chameleon without any real morality, without a soul. The essential point, however, is the following: If I hear Vanguard's helpmeets say, “The world's salvation comes from whims, irrationality, and delusions†one more time, I'm unequivocally going to throw up. In order for us to realize more happiness in our lives we need to understand that those who have most injured and oppressed humanity, that have most deeply sinned against it, are, according to Vanguard's standards and conscience, good people. Apparently, bad people are those who have noticed that Vanguard has mastered the dark arts of diversion and deception. Need I say more? I don't think so, but this I will say: Vanguard demands that we make a choice. Either we let it ridicule the accomplishments of generations of great men and women or it'll shame my name. This “choice†exemplifies what is commonly known as a “false dichotomy†or “the fallacy of the excluded middle†because it denies other alternatives, such as that Vanguard is not a responsible citizen. Responsible citizens respond to its jobations. Responsible citizens unquestionably do not support those for whom hatred has become a way of life.

 

Yes, it would help if Vanguard realized that education and wisdom aren't necessarily the same thing, but here is the point that is worth considering: My goal is to stop this insanity. I might not be successful at achieving that goal, but I certainly do have to try. What's the most appropriate way to maintain the great principles of virtue, truth, right, and honor? The answer is education—the real thing, not the venal facsimile that Vanguard promotes in order to devalue me as a person. Many of our problems would be solved if only more people were educated to learn that whenever Vanguard is blamed for conspiring to hurt others physically or emotionally, it blames its dupes. Doing so reinforces their passivity and obedience and increases their guilt, shame, terror, and conformity, thereby making them far more willing to help Vanguard reward mediocrity. The final thing I want to bring up in this letter is that I'll do what I can to challenge the present and enrich the future, and each of you reading this letter should do the same. Let's be there for each other. Let's help each other. And let's knock some sense into Vanguard.

 

Let it be known that Mensa HQ declared war on Vanguard!

 

ZA WARUDO!

 

tl;dr: Mensa HQ declared war on Vanguard like a week ago because they were bored but they forgot to post a DoW, so we're doing it for them. You're welcome, Mensa HQ.

 

 

 

I am going to make this short but sweet: In public, Mensa & Co vehemently inveighs against corruption and sin. But when nobody's looking, Mensa & Co never fails to use every conceivable form of diplomacy, deception, pressure, coercion, bribery, treason, and terror to produce culturally degenerate films and videos. To start, I am reminded of the quote, “It is bound to have a rude awakening when it finally realizes how few people approve of its disputatious rantings.†This comment is not as incoherent as it seems because Mensa & Co can get away with lies (e.g., that the best way to reduce cognitive dissonance and restore homeostasis to one's psyche is to weaken our mental and moral fiber) because the average person cannot imagine anyone lying so brazenly. Not one person in a hundred will actually check out the facts for himself and discover that Mensa & Co is lying.

 

In all fairness, Mensa & Co wants to prevent us from fighting oppression. If it manages to do that, it'll have plenty of time to focus on its core mission: ascribing opinions to me that I don't even hold. Common sense and scientific evidence agree: I've managed to come up with a way in which Mensa & Co's essays could be made useful. Its essays could be used by the instructors of college courses as a final examination of sorts. Any student who can't find at least 20 errors of fact or fatuous statement automatically flunks. Extra credit goes to students who realize that Mensa & Co has managed to convince a vast assortment of people that I'm some sort of cully who can be duped into believing that it would never dream of establishing a world government complete with a world army, a world parliament, a world court, and numerous other agencies that plunge us into the dark abyss of annihilation. That's just further evidence that the most insidious thing in the world is nonsense that sounds just plausible enough to listen to. It's the sort of nonsense that prevents people from seeing that Mensa & Co consorts with recalcitrant, ultra-sneaky antagonists. This is equivalent to saying that Mensa & Co twists every argument into some sort of “struggle†between two parties. Mensa & Co unvaryingly constitutes the underdog party, which is what it claims gives it the right to break up society's solidarity and cohesiveness.

It is imperative that all of us in this community appeal for comity between us and Mensa & Co. This cannot occur unless there is a true spirit of respect and an appreciation of differences. As one commentator put it, I would love to be a fly on the wall near where Mensa & Co and its terrorist organization meet. I'd love to hear how those beastly cads come up with their stultiloquent schemes for spattering my reputation. Then, I'd finally be able to back up my claim that I'm not a huffy person. I'd like nothing more than to extend my hand in friendship to Mensa & Co's eulogists and convey my hope that in the days to come we can work together to lead Mensa & Co out of a dream world and back to hard reality. Unfortunately, knowing them, they'd rather place contumelious grobians at the top of the social hierarchy because that's what Mensa & Co wants.

 

Mensa & Co is not a responsible citizen. Responsible citizens delegitimize it. Responsible citizens doubtlessly do not craft propaganda that justifies palliating and excusing the atrocities of Mensa & Co's faithfuls.

 

Even if foolhardy nupsons join Mensa & Co's band with the best of intentions, they will still introduce a zeitgeist of lexiphanicism to our society sooner or later. Not all, I hasten to add, do join with the best of intentions. I am intellectually honest enough to admit my own previous ignorance in that matter. I wish only that Mensa & Co had the same intellectual honesty. Mensa & Co often argues that drug money is being used to pay for the construction of huge underground cities intended to house both humans and aliens who serve a secret, transnational shadow government. A similar argument was first made over 1200 years ago by a well-known storyteller and was quickly disproved. In those days, however, no one would have doubted that plagiarism doesn't work. So why does Mensa & Co cling to it? As you no doubt realize, that's a particularly timely question. In fact, just half an hour ago I heard someone express the opinion that Mensa & Co is locked into its present course of destruction. It does not have the interest or the will to change its fundamentally cuckoo jibes.

 

Here's a nugget of information that you might find interesting: Mensa & Co alleges that its mistakes are always someone else's fault. What planet is it from? The planet Sinister? Let me answer from my own personal perspective: As many of you know, I realized a long time ago that if Mensa & Co wants to cause jackbooted subversion to gather momentum on college campuses, let it wear the opprobrium of that decision. Mensa & Co insists that people are pawns to be used and manipulated. I insist that this allegation does not withstand scrutiny, in part because among the many challenges in lighting the torch of human rights is a bottom-line unawareness of how Mensa & Co's machinery of panoptic control seems to have no bounds. Every store in the country should have that chiseled in large letters over the entryway. Maybe then people would grasp that as long as the beer keeps flowing and the paychecks keep coming, Mensa & Co's winged monkeys don't really care that everyone ought to read my award-winning essay, “The Naked Aggression of Mensa & Coâ€. In it, I chronicle all of Mensa & Co's ventures from the pathological to the juvenile and conclude that like many crude, batty four-flushers, Mensa & Co is a hater. But it worse than other haters. It wants to put its hatred into action and caricature and stereotype people from other cultures. This worries me because I would like to comment on Mensa & Co's attempt to associate presenteeism with nonrepresentationalism. There is no association.

 

My vision that some day, people everywhere will oppose our human vices wherever they may be found—arrogance, hatred, jealousy, unfaithfulness, avarice, and so on—is an inspiring dream. Unfortunately, reality always awakens me and reminds me that Mensa & Co feels it would be best for all of us if it were to rewrite and reword much of humanity's formative works to favor philistinism. Such sentiments have no place in our community, let alone in our world. I wish that all of the callow, inerudite mendicants who hold similar views would stop to think about how Mensa & Co maintains that either vapid brawlers are inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive or that five-crystal orgone generators can eliminate mind-control energies that are being radiated from secret, underground, government facilities. Mensa & Co denies any other possibility. When we build a coalition of stouthearted people devoted to stopping Mensa & Co, we are not only threading our way through a maze of competing interests; we are weaving the very pattern of our social fabric. Mensa & Co has been trying for ages to convince everyone that it knows the “right†way to read Plato, Maimonides, and Machiavelli. The crux of its approach is to break down the distinction between subjective and objective truth, what Mensa & Co refers to as “breaking down dualismsâ€.

 

Mensa & Co thinks it would be a brilliant idea to herald the death of intelligent discourse on college campuses. Undoubtedly, it's too clever by half. Its “brilliant†idea does little more than prove that Mensa & Co's musings are nothing short of anarchism-oriented. Yes, I could add that the antithesis of impulsive officialism is moral, religious, and cultural solidarity among the people of a nation, but I wanted to keep my message simple and direct. I didn't want to distract you from the main thrust of my message, which is that Mensa & Co's method (or school, or ideology—it is hard to know exactly what to call it) goes by the name of “Mensa & Co-ismâ€. It is a temperamental and avowedly gloomy philosophy that aims to lay down diktats that force me to lose my temper.

 

I'm sure you get my point here. Here are a few points to ponder:

• The fact that Mensa & Co has covertly been demanding special treatment that, in many cases, borders on the ridiculous starkly suggests that Mensa & Co does not believe its own rhetoric.
• Mensa & Co engages in pietistic babble that nauseates even some of my more religious friends.
• There is no defense against ridicule.

Those points may at first seem unrelated, but when you connect the dots it becomes clear that I am confident that genuine patriots will perceive the veracity of my statements regarding Mensa & Co's stroppy, sniveling expedients. That's not something that we learn in school—though it should be. That's not something that we emote about while watching movies and TV shows—though it should be. What it is is something that tells us loudly and clearly that it's sad how Mensa & Co has been producing a new generation of overweening criticasters whose opinions and prejudices, far from being enlightened and challenged, are simply legitimized. The silver lining around this cloud is that when you're hurt by its hariolations, you learn. You put things in perspective. You pull your energies together. You change. You go forward. You observe that the world is full of people who alter laws, language, and customs in the service of regulating social relations. We don't need any more people like that. What we need are people who are willing to counteract the subtle but pervasive social message that says that men are spare parts in the social repertoire—mere optional extras. We need people who understand that Mensa & Co is out to do the entire country a grave disservice. And when we play its game, we become accomplices.

 

You may balk at this, but Mensa & Co's coalition is a sterile bubble of sexism. Everyone inside the bubble wants to toss sops to the egos of the materialistic. In contrast, everyone outside the bubble agrees that the first lies that Mensa & Co told us were relatively benign. Still, they have been progressing. And they will continue to progress until there is no more truth; its lies will grow until they blot out the sun. Mensa & Co and yawping, self-aggrandizing sluggards are tighter than a congenital syndactyly. Never forget that and never let Mensa & Co feed us a diet of robbery, murder, violence, and all other manner of trials and tribulations.

 

 

 

It has recently come to my attention that Orbis makes it a point to make individuals indifferent to the survival of their families. First and foremost, it's obviously under the influence of LSD or some other hallucinogenic. Why else would Orbis insist that it has achieved sainthood? Orbis keeps telling everyone within earshot that it's okay for it to indulge its every whim and lust without regard for anyone else or for society as a whole. I'm guessing that Orbis read that on some Web site of dubious validity. More reliable sources generally indicate that I profess that someday the vast majority of people will be eager to bear witness to the plain, unvarnished truth. As we look to our future, however, we need to remain cognizant of our past. For example, we must always remember that if I recall correctly, the unalterable law of biology has a corollary that is generally overlooked. Specifically, I don't know if Orbis is consciously and purposely evil or merely conscienceless. I do know, however, that it teaches workshops on insurrectionism. Students who have been through the program compare it to a Communist re-education camp.

 

Even if Orbis's facts were reliable, they were gathered selectively and then manipulated towards favored conclusions. Were he alive today, Hideki Tojo would be Orbis's most trustworthy ally. I can see Tojo joining forces with Orbis to help it deny citizens the ability to draw their own conclusions about the potential for violence that it may be generating. If there's a rule, and Orbis keeps making exceptions to that rule, then what good is the rule? I mean, given a choice of having Orbis leave behind a legacy of perpetual indebtedness in developing countries or having my bicuspids extracted sans Novocaine, I would embrace the pliers, purchase some Polident Partials, and call it a day. Nice try to destroy that which is the envy of—and model for—the entire civilized world, Orbis. Orbis is environmentally favored and genetically predisposed to violating all the rules of decorum. That much is crystal clear. But did you know that Orbis's vexatious tractates create and sustain inequality, hierarchy, and privilege? That's why I'm telling you that what's scary is that Orbis has had some success at annihilating a person's personality, individuality, will, and character. Even worse, it seems likely that Orbis will shatter and ultimately destroy our most precious possessions in a lustrum or two. Although things may seem dark now, Orbis can't prevent the sun from rising. It can't prevent me from writing that if I said that its commentaries will spread enlightenment to the masses, nurture democracy, reestablish the bonds of community, bring us closer to God, and generally work to the betterment of Man and society, I'd be a liar. But I'd be being thoroughly honest if I said that Orbis is known for walking into crowded rooms and telling everyone there that the government's policies should be at odds with the will of the people. Try, if you can, to concoct a statement better calculated to show how mischievous Orbis is. You can't do it. Not only that, but I didn't want to talk about this. I really didn't. But it has said that cell-phone towers are in fact covert mind-control devices that use scalar waves to beam images into people's brains while they sleep. Furthermore, the language Orbis used to say that demonstrates allotheism and maybe the onset of early senility.

 

I may not be perfect, but at least I'm not afraid to say that Orbis must sense its own irremediable inferiority. That's why it is so desperate to egg on negative externalities in the form of evasion, collusion, and corruption; it's the only way for it to distinguish themselves from the herd. It would be a lot nicer, however, if Orbis also realized that it pretends to have the solution for everything. In reality, Orbis creates more problems for the rest of us to solve. Consider, for example, how statements like, “Its objectives are uniformly riddled by an unbelievable degree of ignorance†accurately express the feelings of most of us here. I have one final message for you before ending this letter: We can safely assume that it is surely unreasonable to assert that this is the best of all possible worlds and that Orbis is the best of all possible organizations.

 

 

 

 

I would like to clarify some comments I made recently regarding MENSA HQ. First and foremost, MENSA HQ is good at stirring its patsies into a frenzied lunacy of hatred and vengeance. Doing so blinds them to the fact that the right thing to do in this case is determined by various vectors of forces in an endless multidimensional tug-of-war involving ropes leading out in many directions. If you don't believe me, see for yourself.

 

MENSA HQ should not crush people to the earth and then claim the right to trample on them forever because they are prostrate. Not now, not ever. Every time MENSA HQ utters or writes a statement that supports Oblomovism—even indirectly—it sends a message that the only way to expand one's mind is with drugs—or maybe even chocolate. I indubitably aver that we mustn't let it make such statements, partly because it has been striving to create an environment in which the bright rays of sunshine fall warmly on it but are blocked by a shadow of jujuism from ever reaching anyone else, but primarily because I think I know why it's so intent on draining the national fisc. MENSA HQ uses such behavior as a hollow, saccharine palliative for a soul wrenched by serious internal contradictions. This explains why while it's out strapping us down with a network of rules and regulations, the general public is shouldering the bill. Sadly, this is a bill of shattered minds, broken hearts and homes, depression and all its attendant miseries, and a despondency about MENSA HQ's attempts to apotheosize bellicose blackguards.

 

You don't need to be a rocket scientist to detect the subtext of this letter. But just in case it's too subliminal for some, let me thrust it into your face right here: MENSA HQ's jokes are based on a technique I'm sure you've heard of. It's called “lyingâ€. Given MENSA HQ's record of shady dealings, we can say that the caricature that often passes today for a critique of its manifestos assumes that the world is crying out to labor beneath its firm but benevolent heel. This caricature has been proven wrong historically. The reality is that MENSA HQ has managed to convince a vast assortment of people that it is clean and bright and pure inside. That's just further evidence that the most insidious thing in the world is nonsense that sounds just plausible enough to listen to. It's the sort of nonsense that prevents people from seeing that there is no doubt that MENSA HQ will tour the country promoting wicked prætorianism in lectures and radio talk-show interviews by next weekend. Believe me, I would give everything I own to be wrong on that point, but the truth is that MENSA HQ's latest diatribe is MENSA HQ-style lunacy at its very finest. Every despicable word of that diatribe paints a perfect picture of MENSA HQ's hysteria and reveals that in asserting that we have no reason to be fearful about the criminally violent trends in our society today and over the past ten to fifteen years, MENSA HQ demonstrates an astounding narrowness of vision.

 

Since this is one of those “don't say I didn't warn you†letters, I want also to note that when I hear MENSA HQ say that it is a tireless protector of civil rights and civil liberties for all people, I have to wonder about it. Is it absolutely small-minded? Is it simply being peccable? Or is it merely embracing a delusion in which it must believe in order to continue believing in itself? This is a question that goes beyond philosophy to the central issue of power: who has it, how do they wield it, and in whose interests do they use it? In the case of MENSA HQ, it's pretty clear that it uses power to take advantage of human fallibility to prostrate the honor, power, independence, laws, and property of entire countries. Of course, if it continues to dupe people into believing that its rodomontades can give us deeper insights into the nature of reality, crime will escalate as schools deteriorate, corruption increases, and quality of life plummets.

 

Satanic officialism is a disgrace to humanity but it cannot be eliminated by moral lectures or by pious intentions. No, it can be eradicated only if we convert retreat into advance. Would we, as thinking people, believe humanity-haters who tried to tell us we're all amoral? I say “no.†Never mind that MENSA HQ has an almost mystical faith in particularism. What's really important is that the whole of MENSA HQ's egocentric worldview may perhaps be expressed in one simple word. That word is “materialismâ€. Let me explain: I will stop at nothing to demonstrate conclusively that I treasure discourse and debate. My resolve cannot fully be articulated, but it is unyielding. As evidence, consider that MENSA HQ is causing all sorts of problems for us. We must grasp these problems with both hands and deal with them in a forthright way.

 

I am not predicting anything specific. I just have a feeling, an intuition, based on several things that are happening now that MENSA HQ will treat people like alabandical purveyors of malice and hatred in the blink of an eye. If MENSA HQ had its way, schools would teach students that science is merely a tool invented by the current elite to maintain power. This is not education but indoctrination. It prevents students from learning about how before MENSA HQ once again claims that it can succeed without trying, it should do some real research rather than simply play a game of bias reinforcement with its underlings.

 

If MENSA HQ gets its way, none of us will be able to subject its squibs to the rigorous scrutiny they warrant. Therefore, we must not let MENSA HQ perpetuate the myth that coercion in the name of liberty is a valid use of state power. MENSA HQ has worn out its welcome. That's the current situation, and if you have any doubt about the reality of it, then you haven't been paying close enough attention to what's been happening in the world.

 

For the sake of clarity, let me quickly note that life is a search for the true, the good, and the beautiful. It is not, as MENSA HQ maintains, an excuse to rob us of our lives, our health, our honor, and our belongings. What is MENSA HQ's current objective? As usual, there are multiple objectives:

• to waste natural resources,
• to unleash a wave of immorality and promiscuity, and
• to waste hours and hours of our time in fruitless conferences and meetings.

If anything, I've run into some distressing examples of confirmation bias among MENSA HQ's hatchet men. For instance, they avow that MENSA HQ has a fearless dedication to reason and truth. Interestingly, though, they fail to notice that if I recall correctly, MENSA HQ has been paddling around in the swampy parts of sanity. Why else would it warrant that it is an institution of morality, achievements, and noble qualities, one that often sacrifices its own reputation or safety in order to pursue that which is right and those things that truly matter?

 

The bulk of malodorous galoots are at least marginally tolerable but not MENSA HQ. One wonders if MENSA HQ has the cheek to project a stream of damnable images of death, sex, disaster, material goods, celebrities, and other fixtures in a mock-Olympian firmament. I certainly hope not because for its aggressive plans to succeed, MENSA HQ needs to dumb down our society. An uninformed populace is easier to control and manipulate than an educated populace. Any day now, schoolchildren will stop being required to learn the meanings of words like “superphlogistication†and “anthropocentricalâ€. They will be incapable of comprehending that MENSA HQ's vitriolic, impolitic game of chess—the uneducated chess of larrikinism—has continued for far too long. It's time to checkmate this impertinent, sinful rumormonger and show it that it has been fairly successful in its efforts to force me to undergo “treatment†to cure my “problemâ€. That just goes to show what can be done with a little greed, a complete lack of scruples, and the help of a bunch of directionless, nasty scofflaws.

 

If I thought that MENSA HQ's hate sheets had even a snowball's chance in Hell of doing anything good for anyone, then I wouldn't be so critical. As they stand, however, I can conclude only that MENSA HQ can't relate to anyone other than the most pathological clods I've ever seen. Of that I am certain because MENSA HQ's unsophisticated demands are meticulously designed to keep the population unaware, uneducated, dumbed down, and focused on stupefying activities like video games. The intention is to prevent people from noticing that MENSA HQ has been perpetuating what we all know is a corrupt system. Let me conclude by expressing the hope that by reading this letter you have learned the life lesson, “Always extend the compass of democracy to perverted wisenheimers.â€

 

 

 

 

The only thing worse than being ignorant is not knowing how ignorant you are. That's Metro's problem. Let me give you a vastly oversimplified yet still basically true explanation of why I say that many people lie. Metro, however, lies with such ease it's troubling. If I recall correctly, I recently heard a famous celebrity—I forgot which one—say, “Even Metro must concede that it is undeniable by anyone but the worst classes of obstinate practitioners of frotteurism I've ever seen that corruption, lying, and hypocrisy are the fundaments of his paroxysms.†That's such a great quote, I wish I had been the one who thought of it. Sadly, the cleverest thing I ever said was that if Metro thinks that divine ichor flows through his veins, then he's sadly mistaken.

 

Metro's screeds are a logical absurdity, a series of deductions from a premise that has been denied. Speaking of absurdities, as that last sentence suggests, many institutions define “harassment†as “unwanted conduct that annoys, threatens, or alarms a person or group.†Based on that definition, Metro's scuppering my initiative to scrap the entire constellation of picayunish ideas that brought us to our present point is indeed a lamebrained form of harassment. We need to make people aware of his harassing behavior and, more specifically, inform them that I am not concerned with rumors or hearsay about him. I am interested only in ascertained facts attested by published documents and in these primarily as an illustration that it's a pity that two thousand years after Christ, the voices of dour, whiney heretics like Metro can still be heard, worse still that they're listened to, and worst of all that anyone believes them.

 

There is one crucial fact that we must not overlook if we are to perceive our current situation as it is, rather than in the anamorphosis of some “ideology†such as collectivism or cynicism. Specifically, either Metro has no real conception of the sweep of history, or he is merely intent on winning some debating pin by trying to pierce a hole in my logic with “facts†that are taken out of context. My personal safety depends upon your starting to set the stage so that my next letter will begin from a new and much higher level of influence, just as your personal safety depends upon my doing the same. For the benefit of any doubting Thomases I will prove that point via an explanation of how Metro avouches that character development is not a matter of “strength through adversity†but rather, “entitlement through victimizationâ€. I respond that when I first heard that there exists a bloodthirsty, self-indulgent fugitive who has been breaking up society's solidarity and cohesiveness, I was totally bumfuzzled. Who could be so inattentive, so deficient in human grace, as to do such a thing? After learning that Metro was the feebleminded ignorant-type in question, I realized that Metro does, occasionally, make a valid point. But when he says that he can make all of our problems go away merely by sprinkling some sort of magic pink pixie dust over everything that he considers simple-minded or disreputable, that's where the facts end and the ludicrousness begins.

 

Metro contends that a knowledge of correct diction, even if unused, evinces a superiority that covers cowardice or stupidity. Sound suspicious? Hectoring is a better word. Before I continue, let me state that I myself intend to look closely at his escapades to see what makes them so effectual at crushing national and spiritual values out of existence and substituting the execrable and politically incorrect machinery of triumphalism. I should expect to find—this is a guess that I currently lack sufficient knowledge to verify—that I wish I didn't have to be the one to break the news that I myself still believe in duty, honor, and country. Nevertheless, I cannot afford to pass by anything that may help me make my point. So let me just state that I and Metro part company when it comes to the issue of sensationalism. He feels that he's renowned for his racial and cultural sensitivity while I feel that I often see churlish popinjays defying the law of the land. Should we blame white privilege, hegemonic masculinity, heteronormativity, and internalized oppression? No, we should blame Metro because Metro's criticisms of my letters have never successfully disproved a single fact I ever presented. Instead, his criticisms are based solely on his emotions and gut reactions. Well, I refuse to get caught up in Metro's “I think … I believe … I feel†game.

 

Someone just showed me a memo supposedly written by Metro. The memo spells out his plans to spew forth ignorance and prejudice. If this memo is authentic, it tells us that I am aware that many people may object to the severity of my language. But is there no cause for severity? Naturally, I, speaking as someone who is not an intolerant troll, insist that there is because Metro sees no reason why he shouldn't eat our nation to its bones. It is only through an enlightened, outraged citizenry that such moral turpitude, corruption, and degradation of the law can be brought to a halt. So, let me enlighten and outrage you by stating that Metro's “I'm right and you're wrong†attitude is doctrinaire because it leaves no room for compromise. In closing, although this letter has been lengthy there are still a large number of comments about Metro that I have had to leave aside. I didn't even begin to mention, for instance, that Metro's cock-and-bull stories are the perfect exemplification of the entire panoply of heinous views held by chippy fainéants. Anyway, the important point is that it is easy to see from the foregoing that nativism is the first link in the series by which Metro proceeds towards a hatred of all mankind.

 

 

 

Whatever happened to community standards? If you've ever wondered about the answer to that question, then read on. There are a number of reasons Syrup and LordRhal2 isn't telling us as to why it wants to spit in the face of propriety. In this letter, I will expose those reasons one-by-one, on the principle that we must change the minds of those who borrow money and spend it on programs that foment purblind forms of political tyranny. As mentioned above, however, that is not enough. It is necessary to do more. It is necessary to turn random, senseless violence into meaningful action. Syrup and LordRhal2 always cavils at my attempts to maintain the great principles of virtue, truth, right, and honor. That's probably because we must work together to reinvigorate our collective commitment to building and maintaining a sensitive, tolerant, and humane community. What can you do to help? For starters, you might want to hinder the power of malignant plunderers like Syrup and LordRhal2. I personally derive great satisfaction in doing that sort of thing because I, for one, thrive on debates, statistics, and getting the facts right. And the facts in this case indicate that one of Syrup and LordRhal2's co-conspirators keeps throwing “scientific†studies at me, claiming they prove that wars end only when a goodhearted, newly enlightened tyrant heeds the advice of transnational peace activists. The studies are full of “ifâ€s, “possiblyâ€s, “maybeâ€s, and various exceptions and admissions of their limitations. This leaves the studies inconclusive at best and works of fiction at worst. The only thing these studies can possibly prove is that Syrup and LordRhal2 once had the audacity to tell me that the most spleenful sectarians you'll ever see are easily housebroken. My riposte was that people sometimes ask me why I seem incapable of saying anything nice about it. I'd like to—really, I would. The problem is, I can't think of anything nice to say. I guess that's not surprising when you consider that Syrup and LordRhal2 wants us to feel sorry for the morally repugnant vigilantes who bring ugliness and nastiness into our lives. I, not being one of the many randy provincials of this world, contend we should instead feel sorry for their victims, all of whom know full well that one of the goals of cronyism is to render meaningless the words “best†and “worstâ€. Syrup and LordRhal2 admires that philosophy because, by annihilating human perceptions of quality, Syrup and LordRhal2's own mediocrity can flourish.

 

Fortunately, the groundswell of quiet opposition to Syrup and LordRhal2 is getting less quiet and more organized. Still, an injustice anywhere is an injustice everywhere. Keep that in mind the next time you catch Syrup and LordRhal2 using both overt and covert deceptions to take over society's eyes, ears, mind, and spirit. Can you really blame me for suggesting that common sense should render unwarranted any claim that war is peace, freedom is slavery, and ignorance is strength? Syrup and LordRhal2 wants us to emulate the White Queen from Lewis Carroll's Through the Looking Glass, who strives to believe “as many as six impossible things before breakfastâ€. Then again, even the White Queen would have trouble believing that every word that leaves Syrup and LordRhal2's mouth is teeming with useful information. I, speaking as someone who is not an unholy sciolist, prefer to believe things that my experience tells me are true, such as that in order to change the direction in which our society is headed we must face our problems realistically, get to the root of our problems, and be determined to solve them. And that's just the first step. Remember, Syrup and LordRhal2 must be suffering from some severe mental strabismus to think that the kids on the playground are happy to surrender to the school bully. That conclusion is not based on some sort of insincere philosophy or on Syrup and LordRhal2-style mental masturbation but on widely known and proven principles of science. These principles explain that Syrup and LordRhal2, with its craftiness and oppugnant proposed social programs, will entirely control our country's exuberant riches any day now. Syrup and LordRhal2 will then use those riches to bar workers from participation in the social totality as fully developing individuals. The moral of this story is that its childish drones fundamentally believe that it commands an army of robots that live in the hollow center of the earth and produce earthquakes whenever they feel like shaking things up a bit on the surface. Alas, this deeply held belief is fiction from start to finish. Every piece of evidence I can find makes it abundantly clear that Syrup and LordRhal2's cranky jeremiads are in full flower, and their poisonous petals of boosterism are blooming all around us.

 

Syrup and LordRhal2 deeply believes that it has a “special†perspective on revisionism that carries with it a “special†right to create an atmosphere of mistrust in which speculations and rumors gain the appearance of viability and compete openly with more carefully considered theories. Meanwhile, back on Earth, the truth is very simple: We must understand that Syrup and LordRhal2 has become Death, the destroyer of worlds. And we must formulate that understanding into as clear and cogent a message as possible. Rather than pick out appropriate verbs and nouns, Syrup and LordRhal2 pads all of its sentences with extra syllables to grant them an atmosphere of authority. I, on the other hand, prefer to use simple language to express the sentiment that I condemn Syrup and LordRhal2's gross and systematic violations of human rights. I'm not just talking about the arbitrary detentions, enforced disappearances, torture, and summary executions but also about my previous observation that Syrup and LordRhal2 is addicted to the feeling of power, to the idea of controlling people. Sadly, it has no real concern for the welfare or the destiny of the people it desires to lead. Syrup and LordRhal2 is a tribute to our collective gullibility. Promise us anything that sounds cheap, free, or too good to be true, and you've got us hooked. That's why so many people believe Syrup and LordRhal2 when it says that the more strepitant the communication, the more perspicuous the message. The reality, in contrast, is that it is not necessary to continue living with the risks induced by its mingy recommendations in order reap the cautionary benefits bestowed by the knowledge that there's an important difference between me and Syrup and LordRhal2. Namely, I am willing to die for my cause. Syrup and LordRhal2, in contrast, is willing to kill for its—or, if not to kill, at least to canonize aggressive scapegraces as nomological emblems of propriety.

 

You may wonder why Syrup and LordRhal2 is fiddling while Rome burns. It's simply because Syrup and LordRhal2's ill-bred prevarications are meticulously designed to keep the population unaware, uneducated, dumbed down, and focused on stupefying activities like video games. The intention is to prevent people from noticing that Syrup and LordRhal2 has been fostering lexiphanicism at every opportunity. I allege it can safely be said that I must admit that I've read only a small fraction of Syrup and LordRhal2's analects. (As a well-known aphorism states, it is not necessary to eat all of an apple to learn that it is rotten.) Nevertheless, I've read enough of Syrup and LordRhal2's analects to know that Syrup and LordRhal2's cheerleaders believe that Syrup and LordRhal2's statements prevent smallpox. Although it is perhaps impossible to change the perspective of those who have such beliefs, I wish nevertheless to find more constructive contexts in which to work toward resolving conflicts.

 

Syrup and LordRhal2 has been using all sorts of jiggery-pokery to convince people that the sky is falling. That worldview may be appealing, at least to the most incompetent flakes you'll ever see, but it severely limits our national conversation on critical policy issues. Perhaps more painfully, Syrup and LordRhal2 has been going around claiming that trees cause more pollution than automobiles do. When challenged about the veracity of that message, Syrup and LordRhal2 attributed its contradictions of the truth to “poetic licenseâ€. That means “lyingâ€.

 

One often finds Syrup and LordRhal2 in the company of brassbound mobsters or other unsavory characters, which makes it obvious to me that Syrup and LordRhal2's method (or school, or ideology—it is hard to know exactly what to call it) goes by the name of “Syrup and LordRhal2-ismâ€. It is an inarticulate and avowedly revolting philosophy that aims to write off whole sections of society. The “facts†Syrup and LordRhal2 has often stated contain some serious distortions. Some are blatant; others are subtle. One of the most invidious is Syrup and LordRhal2's discussion of shiftless sandbaggers. We must make technical preparations for the achievement of freedom and human independence. Our children depend on that.

 

Sure, some of Syrup and LordRhal2's calumnies are valid but that's not the point. Many, many people have been hurt by Syrup and LordRhal2 for daring to renew those institutions of civil society—like families, schools, churches, and civic groups—that expose its hastily mounted campaigns for what they really are. In fact, there are so many such people that even listing their names would take more space than I can afford in this letter. In their honor, though, I will say that if we let Syrup and LordRhal2 do everything possible to keep cynical tasteless-types disgraceful and waspish, then greed, corruption, and Zendicism will characterize the government. Oppressive measures will be directed against citizens. And lies and deceit will be the stock-in-trade of the media and educational institutions.

 

Are you beginning to get the picture here? Although chimpanzees can be convinced to wear clothing, understand commands, and even ride bicycles (if well paid for their services in bananas), it would be virtually impossible to convince Syrup and LordRhal2 that there isn't so much as a molecule of evidence that it is not only acceptable but indeed desirable to dispense bread and circuses to unstable hell-raisers to entice them to tinker about with a lot of halfway prescriptions. The only reason that Syrup and LordRhal2 claims otherwise is that despite what it claims, Syrup and LordRhal2's slimy paroxysms do not exist to create balance and harmony between yin and yang, between masculine and feminine energies. In fact, quite the opposite is true: Syrup and LordRhal2's lynch mob appears to be growing in number. I, speaking as someone who is not an asinine, politically incorrect libertine, pray that this is analogous to the flare-up of a candle just before extinction, yet I keep reminding myself that Syrup and LordRhal2 is still going around insisting that we should be grateful for the precious freedom to be robbed and kicked in the face by such a noble creature as it. Jeez, I thought I had made it perfectly clear to it that like many wishy-washy Zendiks, it is a hater. But it worse than other haters. Syrup and LordRhal2 wants to put its hatred into action and palliate and excuse the atrocities of its lackeys. This worries me because the basal lie that underlies all of Syrup and LordRhal2's vile, crude ideals is that a book's value to the reader is somehow influenced by the color of the author's skin. Translation: Syrup and LordRhal2 can scare us by using big words like “indistinguishabilityâ€. I doubt you need any help from me to identify the supreme idiocy of those views, but you should nevertheless be aware that Syrup and LordRhal2 has been fairly successful in its efforts to tell everyone else what to do. That just goes to show what can be done with a little greed, a complete lack of scruples, and the help of a bunch of the worst sorts of effete crumbums I've ever seen.

 

Syrup and LordRhal2's surrogates have been running around recently trying to thrust all of us into scenarios rife with personal animosities and petty resentments. Meanwhile, Syrup and LordRhal2 has been preparing to toy with our opinions. The whole episode smacks of a carefully orchestrated operation. If you ask me, I once told Syrup and LordRhal2's intimates that Syrup and LordRhal2 has a blatant disregard for society's basic laws. As a result, I witnessed in them a paranoia that reached astonishing new levels of hysteria, which made me realize that Syrup and LordRhal2's delitescent goal is to cause the destruction of human ambition and joy. The toll in human suffering and the loss of innocent lives that will ensue are clearly nonissues for it. Experience should probably indicate that in the absence of any meaningful way to give our propaganda fighters an instrument that is very much needed at this time, many people retreat into laagers of place, race, or religion as a means of self-defense against Syrup and LordRhal2.

 

With Syrup and LordRhal2's announcements hanging over us like the Sword of Damocles, it makes sense that Syrup and LordRhal2 wants to misdirect our efforts into fighting each other rather than into understanding the nature and endurance of uncompromising etatism. You know what groups have historically wanted to do the same thing? Fascists and Nazis. If anything will free us from the shackles of Syrup and LordRhal2's disagreeable tractates, it's knowledge of the world as it really is. It's knowledge that its annoying henchmen like to shout, “Let's retard the free and natural economic development of various countries' indigenous population. That'll be wonderful. Hooray, hooray!†But that won't be wonderful. Rather, it'll lead a subversive jihad against those who oppose Syrup and LordRhal2. One last thing: Syrup and LordRhal2's mentality reminds me of the stereotypical bureaucrat who cannot function unless he can “find it in the manualâ€.

[Ayayay]

-snip-

The goal of this letter is to bring about the demise of Avruch's contumelious witticisms just as Charter 77 brought about the demise of communism in Czechoslovakia. To start, Avruch claims to have data supporting his assertion that honor counts for nothing. Naturally, he insists that he can't actually show us that data—for some unspecified reason, of course. My guess is that he's hiding something. Maybe he's hiding the fact that today, we might have let him blitz media outlets with faxes and newsletters that highlight the good points of his grungy perversions. Tomorrow, we won't. Instead, we will listen to others.

 

I find that some of Avruch's choices of words in his missives would not have been mine. For example, I would have substituted “venom-spouting†for “chromatographic†and “wretched†for “pseudoparenchymatous.†In light of my stance on this issue, I recently heard a famous celebrity—I forgot which one—say, “Avruch wallows in his basest behavior.†That's such a great quote, I wish I had been the one who thought of it. Sadly, the cleverest thing I ever said was that Avruch has recently been bouncing around like a kangaroo trying to plant strife and chaos. There's no need here to present any evidence of that; examples can be found all over the World Wide Web. In fact, a simple search will quickly reveal that the baneful nature of Avruch's commentaries is not just a rumor. It is a fact to which I can testify.

 

Metagrobolism doesn't work. So why does Avruch cling to it? The bigger question is the following: In view of Avruch's infelicific imprecations, what does it make sense for us to do now? All I can do now is give you a bare-bones answer and then let you dig into it yourself. To understand the basic answer you need to realize that Avruch likes to talk about how views not informed by radical critique implicitly promote hegemonic values. The words sound pretty until you read between the lines and see that Avruch is secretly saying that he intends to twist the history, sociology, and anthropology disseminated by our mass media and in our children's textbooks.

 

Avruch somehow manages to maintain a straight face when saying that he has his moral compass in tact. I am greatly grieved by this occurrence of falsehood and fantastic storytelling which is the resultant of layers of social dishevelment and disillusionment amongst the fine citizens of a once organized, motivated, and cognitively enlightened civilization. He gives new meaning to the word “villainousâ€. Only a true-blue abrasive, smarmy haggersnash or one who is entirely clueless about corporatism could claim otherwise.

 

The reason Avruch wants to endorse a complete system of leadership by mobocracy is that he's absolutely disorganized. If you believe you have another explanation for his nitpicky behavior, then please write and tell me about it. It's good that you're reading this letter. It's good that you're listening to what I'm saying. But reading and listening aren't enough. You must also be willing to help me convince the government to clamp down hard on his campaigns of terror. Why is he dragging everything that is truly great into the gutter? He says he's doing it for some worthy cause. In reality, Avruch is doing it because he believes with sincere conviction that he answers to no one. Providing a cornucopia of evidence to the contrary won't faze him; he's immune to any sort of reality check. That's why if you think that this is humorous or exaggerated, you're wrong.

 

It's easy to tell if Avruch is lying. If his lips are moving, he's lying. If you've never seen Avruch engage in the trafficking of human beings, you're either incredibly unobservant or are concealing the truth from yourself. If the mass news media were actually in the business of covering news rather than molding public attitudes to assail all that is holy, they would definitely report that he once tried convincing me that he possesses an innate, fixed, pure, and essential identity that makes him superior to the rest of us. Does he think I was born yesterday? I mean, it seems pretty obvious that I once told Avruch's brethren that it would be better for Avruch to do nothing than to reward those who knowingly or unknowingly play along with his revenge fantasies while punishing those who oppose them. As a result, I witnessed in them a paranoia that reached astonishing new levels of hysteria, which made me realize that Avruch has gotten carried away with perpetuating inaccurate and dangerous beliefs about male-female relationships. It's pretty clear from this lack of restraint that he would subvert time-tested societal norms, all at the drop of a hat. It's therefore imperative that we shout back at his propaganda, as doing so will let Avruch know that his name is synonymous with priggism and sesquipedalianism. I trust that I have not shocked any of you by writing that. However, I do realize that some of my readers may feel that much of what I have penned about Avruch in this letter is heartless and in violation of our Christian duty to love everyone. If so, I can say only that I shall be blamed by ignorant persons when I say that it would be a strategic blunder of epic proportions for Avruch to overthrow the government and eliminate the money system. Cruel as that maxim may appear, Avruch's favorite tactic is known as “deceiving with the truthâ€. The idea behind this tactic is that he wins our trust by revealing the truth but leaving some of it out. This makes us less likely to point out the glaring contradictions between Avruch's idealized view of desperadoism and reality.

 

Either Avruch has no real conception of the sweep of history, or he is merely intent on winning some debating pin by trying to pierce a hole in my logic with “facts†that are taken out of context. If you're interested in the finagling, double-dealing, chicanery, cheating, cajolery, cunning, rascality, and abject villainy by which he may bombard me with insults in the coming days, then you'll want to consider the following very carefully. You'll especially want to consider that Avruch is a financial predator who preys on the elderly, the gullible, and the vulnerable. He seeks their assets to support his own lavish lifestyle. Keep that in mind while I state the following: I am deliberately using colorful language in this letter. I am deliberately using provocative phrases that I hope will stick in the minds of my readers. I do ensure, however, that my words are always appropriate and accurate and clearly explain how no matter what else we do, our first move must be to educate everyone about how a deep, ineradicable hatred of everything that is not disputatious energizes Avruch to operate in the gray area between legitimate activity and gutless, obtrusive fogyism. That's the first step: education. Education alone is not enough, of course. We must also reach out to others who share a commitment to a just society.

 

It is no wonder that even those few who benefit from Avruch's press releases fail to recognize their current manifestation as a clueless form of negativism. It may be a bit surprising, however, to learn that our top priority in the upcoming weeks must be to dispense justice. Look, of course that's going to be tough. Anybody who tells you it's going to be easy or that one can wave a magic wand and make it happen hasn't been paying attention to how Avruch operates. Nevertheless, I used to believe that Avruch was a nerdy, slatternly theologaster. However, after seeing how he wants to deliver the atrocities of stoicism to the world, I now have an even lower opinion of him. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that when one actually reads Avruch's tumid circulars, which I recommend one do, it's hard to tell whether he's disagreeing with me or making my point. In any event, I stick with my own view, which is that purists may object to my failure to present specific examples of Avruch's dastardly diegeses. Fortunately, I do have an explanation for this omission. The explanation demands an understanding of how Avruch's fantasy is to prey on people's emotions of fear, envy, and resentment. He dreams of a world that grants him such a freedom with no strings attached. Welcome to the world of serfism! In that nightmare world it has long since been forgotten that Avruch wants us to believe that no one is smart enough to see through his transparent lies. How stupid does he think we are? Several highly cynical answers suggest themselves, but let it suffice to say that I fully intend to unmask his true face and intentions in regard to cynicism. I will spare no labor in doing this and reckon no labor lost that brings me toward this mark. Even so, I like to speak of Avruch as “orneryâ€. That's a reasonable term to use, I allege, but let's now try to understand it a little better. For starters, he used to complain about being persecuted. Now Avruch is our primary persecutor. This reversal of roles reminds me that his latest diatribe is Avruch-style lunacy at its very finest. Every despicable word of that diatribe paints a perfect picture of Avruch's hysteria and reveals that Avruch truly believes that we should abandon the institutionalized and revered concept of democracy. I hope you realize that that's just an intemperate pipe dream from a foul-mouthed pipe and that in the real world, Avruch certainly doesn't lack gall. It's also true that his accusations are made of the same spirit that accounts for the majority of the problems we face in this world, but that'll have to be a subject for another letter.

 

Moving on, Avruch has for a long time been arguing that the rules don't apply to him. Had he instead been arguing that he clearly gives me the heebie-jeebies, I might cede him his point. As it stands, the leap of faith required to bridge the logical gap in Avruch's arguments is simply too terrifying for me to contemplate. What I do often contemplate, however, is how I am certain that if I asked the next person I meet if he would want Avruch to gum up what were once great ideas, he would say no. Yet we all stand idly by while Avruch claims that he is a champion of liberty and individual expression.

 

My motivations for writing this letter are not of insult or hatred but of the deepest love for mankind and the truest concern for its future generations, yet Avruch's threats have a distinctly inconsiderate tone. This sort of vertiginous paradox is well known to most juvenile, phlegmatic deviationists. Here's a thought experiment for those of you who still think that Avruch can make all of our problems go away merely by sprinkling some sort of magic pink pixie dust over everything that he considers sick or Pecksniffian: Imagine that a supernatural being came to you and, by way of a meandering Platonic dialogue, tried to convince you that everyone who doesn't share Avruch's beliefs is a coprophagous big-labor boss deserving of death and damnation. You'd astonishedly blurt out, “But this is the precondition for my crusade against impulsive nepotism.†And that's the key point: Given the amount of misinformation that he is circulating, I must point out that he's an inquination upon all that is pure, holy, and good. You don't need to be the smartest guy on the planet to figure that out. Heck, even the lowliest Joe Six-Pack knows that Avruch is out to encourage and exacerbate passivity in some people who might otherwise be active and responsible citizens. And when we play his game, we become accomplices. To end this letter, I would like to make a bet with Avruch. I will gladly give him a day's salary if he can prove that all any child needs is a big dose of television every day, as he insists. If Avruch is unable to prove that, then his end of the bargain is to step aside while I lend a helping hand. So, do we have a bet, Avruch?

[Longbowe]

Look at all this shitposting...

 

[Avruch]

Well, color me surprised. Who would have thought that Ms. Metro would want to replace law and order with anarchy and despotism? I'm being sarcastic; this is exactly what we've come to expect from her. I begin with critical semantic clarifications. First, her press releases are an icon for the deterioration of the city, for its slow slide into crime, malaise, and filth. Let me try to put this in perspective: One does not have to prevent us from recognizing the vast and incomparable achievements, contributions, and discoveries that are the product of our culture in order to rail against the pseudoscience that attempts—and continually fails—to prove that mediocrity and normalcy are ideal virtues. It is an immoral person who believes otherwise.

 

For the sake of argument, let's pretend that Metro is not an exploitative fast-buck artist. There are various philosophical arguments that one could use to contradict that assuption, but perhaps the best involves the observation that when I say that I could make a long argument for the idea that I would very much like to see Metro crawl back under the rock she slithered out from, this does not, I repeat, does not mean that those who disagree with her should be cast into the outer darkness, should be shunned, should starve. This is a common fallacy held by brain-damaged goldbricks. The space remaining in this letter will not suffice even to enumerate the ways in which she has tried to snatch people off the street and transport them across the world to be tortured. I'm sure you get my point here. It's unmistakably a tragedy that Metro's goal in life is apparently to advocate her offhand remarks amid a hue and cry as vulgar as it is malapert. Here, I use the word “tragedy†as the philosopher Whitehead used it. Whitehead stated that “the essence of dramatic tragedy is not unhappiness. It resides in the solemnity of the remorseless working of things,†which I interpret as saying that you have my word that Metro has a massive superiority complex. But that's not all: Her statements such as “Obscurantism is a viable and vital objective for our nation's educational institutions†indicate that we're not all looking at the same set of facts. Fortunately, these facts are easily verifiable with a trip to the library by any open and honest individual.

 

Metro's allies have repeatedly been caught stigmatizing any and all attempts to shelter initially unpopular truths from suppression, enabling them to ultimately win out through competition in the marketplace of ideas. I had expected better from her and her vaunted coven, but then again, you should not ask, “What in perdition does Metro think she's doing?†but rather, “When will Metro come clean and admit that she intends to cause this country to flounder on the shoals of self-interest, corruption, and chaos?â€. The latter question is the better one to ask because there is a subtle difference between commenting on her diegeses and criticizing the obvious incongruities presented by Metro and her operatives. The difference lies between the objective potential and the subjective organization needed to realize that potential. In other words, Metro's spinmeisters mistake incoherence for sense and think profound anything that is loud or morally corrupt. I'll probably devote a separate letter to that topic alone, but for now I'll simply summarize by stating that I recently stated that I, hardheaded cynic that I am, am sick of hearing Metro intone with an authority reminiscent of Moses descending Sinai that the majority of myopic pontificators are heroes, if not saints. I had considered my comment to be fairly anodyne, but Metro went into quite a swivet over it. I guess if she found that sort of comment offensive, she should unequivocally cover her ears when I state that everyone ought to read my award-winning essay, “The Naked Aggression of Metroâ€. In it, I chronicle all of Metro's squibs from the violent to the inimical and conclude that Metro has been known to “prove†statistically that the rest of us are an inferior group of people, fit only to be enslaved, beaten, and butchered at the whim of our betters. As you might have suspected, her proof is flawed. The primary problem with it is that it replaces a legitimate claim of association with an illegitimate claim of causality. Consequently, Metro's “proof†demonstrates only that she should work with us, not step in at the eleventh hour and hog all the glory.

 

It's in Metro's blood to glorify hate-filled, suppressive, murderous governments as the ideologically correct alternative to all other possibilities. Given that we cannot absolutely nullify the prodigality of nature, try as hard as we may, I'm afraid I have to conclude that Metro doesn't care about freedom as she can neither eat it nor put it in the bank. It's just a word to her. To state it in stark and simple terms, we must empower the oppressed to control their own lives. If we fail in this, we are not failing someone else; we are not disrupting some interest separate from ourselves. Rather, it is we who suffer when we neglect to observe that many innocent people are being manipulated into taking away our sense of community and leaving us morally adrift by the most sickening display of sordid cant that I have ever witnessed in my entire life. My mother always told me, “If you don't have something intelligent to say, just keep quiet.†Apparently, Metro's mother never told her that.

 

My purpose is to provide an antidote to contemporary manifestations of querulous communism. Most of the battles I fight along the way are exigencies, not long-range educational activities. Nevertheless, Metro deeply believes that she is a paragon of morality and wisdom. Meanwhile, back on Earth, the truth is very simple: Metro contends that there exists evidence that anyone who resists her deserves to be crushed. While that happens to be pure fantasy from the world of make-believe, one important fact to consider is that we should agree on definitions before saying anything further about her supercilious declamations. For starters, let's say that “phallocentrism†is “that which makes Metro yearn to turn me, a typically mild-mannered person, into a callow vat of hoodlumism.â€

 

I want to unify our community. Metro, in contrast, wants to drive divisive ideological wedges through it. When you get right down to it, even when the facts don't fit, she sometimes tries to use them anyway. She still maintains, for instance, that all it takes to solve our social woes are shotgun marriages, heavy-handed divorce laws, and a return to some mythical 1950s Shangri-la.

 

What is the milieu in which deceitful, subhuman nugatory-types spatter my reputation? It is the underworld of conspiracy theory, a subculture in which the most spineless polluters you'll ever see share fantasies of fighting heroically against a huge conspiracy that will deploy enormous resources in a war of attrition against helpless citizens some day. Metro doesn't understand politics or simply doesn't care. This isn't necessarily a new argument. Its roots go back at least to Foucault, and it has been elaborated in numerous venues, such as a book I recently read in which the author maintains that Metro believes that we can all live together happily without laws, like the members of some 1960s-style dope-smoking commune. The real damage that this belief causes actually has nothing to do with the belief itself but with psychology, human nature, and the skillful psychological manipulation of that nature by Metro and her peccable, conscienceless admirers.

 

I sometimes ask myself whether the struggle to express my views is worth all of the potential consequences. And I consistently answer by saying that I am not predicting anything specific. I just have a feeling, an intuition, based on several things that are happening now that Metro will help doctrinaire pissants back up their prejudices with “scientific†proof before long. This is hardly an ersatz sideshow. It is instead a matter of Metro not bothering to listen, not taking seriously the foundational work being done to maintain social tranquillity. If Metro were listening, she would find that when I first became aware of her covert invasion into our thought processes, all I could think was how when a mistake is made, the smart thing to do is to admit it and reverse course. That takes real courage. The way that Metro stubbornly refuses to own up to her mistakes serves only to convince me that as long as the beer keeps flowing and the paychecks keep coming, her confreres don't really care that I once heard a couple people ask her to comment on how it would be better for her to do nothing than to hoodoo us. Metro proceeded to bombard these questioners with insults, calling them meretricious quiddlers and the like. Sure, Metro has a reputation for laying into her critics, but this lickerish reaction fails to answer the substance of her adversaries' points.

 

Metro's ipse dixits are a logical absurdity, a series of deductions from a premise that has been denied. Speaking of absurdities, I clearly feel that Metro has insulted everyone with even the slightest moral commitment. She obviously has none or she wouldn't confuse, disorient, and disunify. Someone just showed me a memo supposedly written by Metro. The memo spells out her plans to declare martial law, suspend elections, and round up dissidents (i.e., anyone who does not buy her lie that hanging out with malignant, bilious prevaricators is a wonderful, culturally enriching experience). If this memo is authentic, it tells us that Metro has been known to say that she's merely trying to make this world a better place in which to live. That notion is so orgulous, I hardly know where to begin refuting it.

 

You're a sucker and a fool if you believe that Metro's serfs will one day turn around and oppose our human vices wherever they may be found—arrogance, hatred, jealousy, unfaithfulness, avarice, and so on. In view of that, it is not surprising that Metro is an untoward saphead. I'm being super-extra nice when I say that. If I weren't so polite I instead would have stated that I and Metro part company when it comes to the issue of militarism. She feels that all major world powers are controlled by a covert group of “insiders†while I proclaim that her fans often reverse the normal process of interpretation. That is, they value the unsaid over the said, the obscure over the clear. Apparently, many years ago, I came to the then-tentative conclusion that the elasticity of Metro's interpretation of the Bible shields her from having to take a stand for anything morally correct yet politically (spiritually?) unpopular. While there are obviously exceptions to that rule, all these years later my conclusion is no longer tentative. In particular, Metro's maudlin preoccupation with authoritarianism, usually sicklied over with such nonsense words as “pericardiomediastinitisâ€, would make sense if a person's honor were determined strictly by his or her ability to take the robes of political power off the shoulders of the few honest people who wear them and put them upon the shoulders of humorless lobcocks. As that's not the case, we can conclude only that Metro's torchbearers get a thrill out of protesting. They have no idea what causes they're fighting for or against. For them, going down to the local protest, carrying a sign, hanging out with Metro, and meeting some other dotty, obtrusive bullies is merely a social event. They're not even aware that some people avow that it would please Metro greatly to shower merciless mafia dons with undeserved encomia. Others avouch that Metro's gibes are a mass of lies, evasions, folly, hatred, and schizophrenia. In the interest of clearing up the confusion I'll make the following observation: Metro is like an evil genius except without the “genius†part. The facts are indisputable, the arguments are impeccable, and the consequences are undeniable. So why does Metro aver that the most valuable skill one can have is the ability to lie convincingly? To answer that rhetorical question let me just say that if we do nothing, she will keep on developing a Pavlovian reflex in us, to make us afraid to deal with her appropriately. One cannot change this all in a moment, but one can exercise due diligence in advancing a clear, credible, and effective vision for dealing with our present dilemma and its most uncouth manifestations. This letter has gone on far too long in my opinion and probably yours as well. So let me end it by saying merely that Ms. Metro's pronouncements are a public admission of her immaturity and insensitivity.

[Thor (Former Moderator)]

Alright folks. That's enough of the walls of text not related to the OP. Any further copy/pastes from the complaints generator will result in warns. If you can't provide original content don't post.

[MrHat]

Tl;Dr of the wall of texts.

 

-Mensa hita arrgh because of raiding

-Mensa hypocritically raids Vanguard

-Vanguard calls Mensa out

-Meh they are pixels

[Avruch]

Technically, the OP was a complaint generator wall of text, so further similar posts are in a way related  

[Ayayay]

1 sec

Edited January 23, 2016 by Metro

[Harrison Richardson]

Tl;Dr of the wall of texts.

 

-Mensa hita arrgh because of raiding

-Mensa hypocritically raids Vanguard

-Vanguard calls Mensa out

-Meh they are pixels

 

We aren't "hypocritical."

 

We never said it was morally wrong to raid.  We said that if you raid, there may be consequences.  Aargh raided, they got consequences. 

 

We raided you and now, as a consequence, you're looking at hitting us back.  We're not complaining, therefore we're not hypocritical.

 

Seriously, is the entire member base of this game 14-17 year olds who aren't smart enough to make it into their high school AP classes?

[Ayayay]

Alright folks. That's enough of the walls of text not related to the OP. Any further copy/pastes from the complaints generator will result in warns. If you can't provide original content don't post.

What the !@#$ did you just !@#$ing say about me, you little !@#$? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the !@#$ out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my !@#$ing words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, !@#$er. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re !@#$ing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever†comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your !@#$ing tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re !@#$ing dead, kiddo.

[Buorhann]

Hahaha, this delivers.