8/23/2020, 7:00PM JST
In a release from the Japanese Ministry of Defense, Japan has announced a nation-wide purge of the color purple. All items of clothing, technology, or otherwise are prohibited within Japanese borders. The Ministry claims this is due to an increasing amount of gang-related violence stemming from individuals wearing the color purple. Further investigations have also revealed that the color purple is potentially involved in an elaborate tax evasion scheme in the Bahamas, although the truth of this is still under review. Effective immediately, all ties with nations whose flags include the color purple to any extent have been severed and any imports from those nations must be facilitated by a non-heretical nation whose flag does not contain the color purple.
Popular Dutch rapper "Hopsan" has this to say on the subject: "We ain't need no purple fools in our turf, glad these fools ain't allowed anymore!"
The Ministry of Defense also cites studies suggesting that the color purple was somehow related to mustard, which the government banned early last year to national applause. Individuals found to be in violation of the law regarding the color purple will be sentenced to no more than 15 years in Hopsan's Taylor Swift torture room, being subject to listening to notorious torture supplier Taylor Swift's music. Emperor Itachi came out in full support of these measures and says more should be done to combat the oppression of the color purple.