1 Hollywood Blvd
Hollywood, CA 90028
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
August 5th, 2022 - Hollywood, CA - The halls echoed with the sound of his footsteps as the once revered Hollywood magnate Wizel Spielberg allowed himself one final tour of the Hollywood Productions studios.
As he walked past empty offices and abandoned sets, Wizel reminisced upon the golden age of Hollywood Studios. The studio came to prominence with the instant success of its first film, Guns & Roses, followed by the blockbuster sequels Brawlywood and The Big $hort.
Of late however, the studio hadn’t been faring as well as it once did. Critics reported that its recent pictures, The Battle of Los Angeles and The Knights Radiation, fell short of expectations, while pre-release viewers of the upcoming star-studded epic The Fault In Our Stars (working title) complained it felt derivative, with many heard commenting upon leaving test screenings across the country “I just feel like I’ve already seen this one before.”
With such dismal pre-release reviews, The Fault In Our Stars was guaranteed to become a box-office flop. Having sunk all its capital into that movie’s budget, Hollywood Studios had no choice but to enter creditor protection. Studio management convened to look over the finances and decided the best route to profitability was to spin off certain assets and cut ties among some of its affiliated studios.
After further discussions, it was decided that the newly spun-off Radiant Motion Picture Group, Grumpy Pictures, Guardian Films, The Oblivion Company, Immortals Cinema, Dank Meme Studios and [REDACTED] Films would sell off all their Hollywood assets with immediate effect.
Public Relations Contacts:
Sweeeeet Ronny D
The Oblivion Company
DtC Justice (Message for free money)
James the Volleyball
Dank Meme Studios
O5-1: The Pilot
O5-2: The Resurrected
O5-4: The Dreamer
O5-5: The Spaceman
Radiant Motion Picture Group
Wizel, Chief Executive Officer
Canbec, Executive Vice President
BigMorf, Vice President - Public Relations
Kyubnyan, Chief Technology Officer
Lancelot, Chief Financial Officer
WarriorSoul, Vice President - Corporate Security
Modi, Vice President - Administrative Services
TL;DR: TKR, BK, NW, Grumpy, Guardian, Oblivion and TI cut all ties amongst each other related to Hollywood sphere. Hollywood sphere comes to an end with immediate effect.