Rozalia Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 In the year 190 the world was again engulfed in a great storm, of which the rogue state of Rose was at it's centre. Always having been jealous of Mensa and endlessly humiliated by them, they saw their chance as Mensa fought the allied Arrgh-Vanguard forces. Having always been defeated on land even when outnumbering their opponents greatly, Rose instead traveled across the Feitas River with a huge navy in an attempt to land their forces in the heart of Mensa territory. The Son of Heaven, Rozalia, was not deaf to such news and dispatched the Roz Wei navy to assist in the battle to come, as did many others such the heroes of the Syndicate, the Knights Radiant, Coalition, King's Parliament, Seven Kingdoms, and Guardian. The allied force's navy even combined was significantly smaller than the Rose Navy however... but the Rose forces were hardly used to fighting let alone fighting on water and many got sick when at sea. Emperor Caillou became most worried and asked all his military advisers what could be done to alleviate the condition. The devious Belisarius only knowledge in military matters was how to best put a knife in the back so he could not help. Oblige suggested they ditch the ships and ride whales instead so predictably he was no help. HouseofJacks suggested they play some sweet tunes to improve the soldiers mood, but they had only brought so many saxophones so it could only be of limited use. Andrew Ryan suggested they hold up and build great underwater cities to act as fortresses to defend them until the soldiers got used to the great river, so he was no help as that was impossible to do. John Harms suggested they get every soldier a Shiba, but Belisarius reminded him that last time they tried that their soldiers ate all the dogs so it was of no use. Finally Moreau III spoke up saying, "There is one that has much experience in such matters and has faced our enemies on these sort of conditions... I am of course talking of former Chairman Clarke of DEIC, I am sure he has a solution". His face lighting up at the suggestion and Moreau's surprisingly coherent speech, Emperor Caillou immediately sent Kurdanak to inquire with Clarke on how best to solve their situation. Kurdanak reached DEIC and met with the new Chairman, TheNG. Inquiring about Clarke's whereabouts TheNG told Kurdanak that Clarke at this time of day should be at his sister's house. When Kurdanak asked for the location of said house, TheNG merely said he couldn't miss it and to just look outside. Looking outside Kurdanak noticed that in the centre lay a massive mansion that dwarfed TheNG's own at least tenfold so he assumed that must be the house of Clarke's sister. Asking around it seemed the house was off limits and no-one in DEIC dared enter the house for Clarke was extremely protective of his sister who he showered with treasures. His heart steeled however Kurdanak entered the house and went in search of Clarke and found a long haired maiden who he assumed was the sister but... inspecting closer he saw that Clarke's sister was really just Clarke himself in women's clothes! "Now that you know my terrible secret you must die", the fabulous Clarke spoke as he approached the cowering but excited Kurdanak who quickly told Clarke of the reason for his visit. Hearing it Clarke put down his weapon and gave his best smile telling Kurdanak that the solution was simple, "Simply chain your boats together and that'll stop your soldiers getting sick, it'll be like they are on land" crowed the effeminate Clarke. Kurdanak pleased left as the dazzling Clarke went back to doing what Kurdanak had interrupted which was his morning gyration routine, still smiling for he had given them the solution to the sickness as asked... but not the solution to how to win which were two very different things. Emperor Caillou having always rated Clarke greatly immediately did as suggested to great success, the Rose soldiers soon felt much better off and morale improved greatly. In the allied force's camp however much laughter was heard at this change of the enemy ships and come the battle the reason for such laughter became clear. A fire attack hit the Rose navy, with the wind blowing in their direction and all their ships chained together it went from ship to ship eradicating their entire navy. Emperor Caillou and his generals only barely managed to retreat on their side of the river as their great armada was destroyed with considerable ease. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Stormrideron Posted February 9, 2016 Popular Post Share Posted February 9, 2016 (edited) tl;dr Edited February 9, 2016 by Stormrideron 11 Quote Commander-in-Chief of Svalbard Island Badassery Rating: 100% / Popularity Rating: 100% Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nadir Aminu Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 *Claps* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rozalia Posted February 9, 2016 Author Share Posted February 9, 2016 tl;dr It doesn't take 3 minutes (I saw you) to post a gif of that nature. Not that it matters, merely entering this thread bestows upon you the greatness of the Legend. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 (edited) Oblige suggested they ditch the ships and ride whales instead so predictably he was no help. HouseofJacks suggested they play some sweet tunes to improve the soldiers mood, but they had only brought so many saxophones so it could only be of limited use. Andrew Ryan suggested they hold up and build great underwater cities to act as fortresses to defend them until the soldiers got used to the great river, so he was no help as that was impossible to do. John Harms suggested they get every soldier a Shiba, but Belisarius reminded him that last time they tried that their soldiers ate all the dogs so it was of no use. Asking around it seemed the house was off limits and no-one in DEIC dared enter the house for Clarke was extremely protective of his sister who he showered with treasures. His heart steeled however Kurdanak entered the house and went in search of Clarke and found a long haired maiden who he assumed was the sister but... inspecting closer he saw that Clarke's sister was really just Clarke himself in women's clothes! "Now that you know my terrible secret you must die", the fabulous Clarke spoke as he approached the cowering but excited Kurdanak who quickly told Clarke of the reason for his visit. ^ best one yet like for trans-gender? Clarke and intelligent rose gov't Edited February 10, 2016 by Eric 1 Quote Proud Canadian, Proud Ontarian Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheNG Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 (edited) This disgustingly false propaganda sickens me. Clarke's sister is very real, and completely and totally deserves the huge mansion. To suggest otherwise is obvious flaming, and I'm going to report this hideous mangling of the truth. May Clarke's sister have mercy on your poor soul. Edit: Also, great DEIC triumphs like the Marionette War and Oktoberfest were won by putting all our ships together in one huge conglomerate. To demean our most successful tactic shows little knowledge of proper warfare. Edited February 10, 2016 by TheNG 3 Quote "They say the secret to success is being at the right place at the right time. But since you never know when the right time is going to be, I figure the trick is to find the right place and just hang around!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- <Kastor> He left and my !@#$ nation is !@#$ed up. And the Finance guy refuses to help. He just writes his !@#$ plays. <Kastor> And laughs and shit. <Kastor> And gives out !@#$ huge loans to Arthur James, that !@#$ bastard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweeeeet Ronny D Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 I didnt see any mention about the great beating the nation of Great Bedford is taking at the hands of VE and Alpha. Whats up with that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rozalia Posted February 10, 2016 Author Share Posted February 10, 2016 (edited) I didnt see any mention about the great beating the nation of Great Bedford is taking at the hands of VE and Alpha. Whats up with that? Patience. For such a big event this showed the first part of the conflict. I mean some have shown difficulty reading a couple of paragraphs so we don't want to overload them now. The attack by the forces of the high ranking Rose commander Placentica and the Viridian Entente plus the devious Belisarius's hiring of the Phoenix tribe and the SWF & Shuriken bandits will be documented later. Edited February 10, 2016 by Rozalia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweeeeet Ronny D Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 ok, i just wanted to make sure that this wasn't the fox news of PnW reporting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rozalia Posted February 10, 2016 Author Share Posted February 10, 2016 ok, i just wanted to make sure that this wasn't the fox news of PnW reporting. Do not worry, the Legend of Rozalia only provides factual stories. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nie Li Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 So when are u disbanding? Quote Protector of Low tier nations, from Empire of Spades. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rozalia Posted February 10, 2016 Author Share Posted February 10, 2016 So when are u disbanding? When the Heavens will it, but I am beloved by the Heavens so no worries. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurdanak Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 Asking around it seemed the house was off limits and no-one in DEIC dared enter the house for Clarke was extremely protective of his sister who he showered with treasures. His heart steeled however Kurdanak entered the house and went in search of Clarke and found a long haired maiden who he assumed was the sister but... inspecting closer he saw that Clarke's sister was really just Clarke himself in women's clothes! "Now that you know my terrible secret you must die", the fabulous Clarke spoke as he approached the cowering but excited Kurdanak who quickly told Clarke of the reason for his visit. I can't wait for the x-rated version. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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