Raoul Duke

I would be neutral but i'm trying to kill all of my citizens...seems to be working pretty...pretty...pretty well so far.

Good clean fun for all....cept for a lot of my pilots...but those crazy bastards knew what they were signing up for when i drafted them.

Mental note: "Do not attack Vanguard as I will be completely and utterly and irrevocably and insert synonym for utterly and most definitely and assuredly and decisively and inescapably destroyed with extreme prejudice beyond recall, once and for all." The Horsemen promise we won't attack you as we are a bit occupied with the largest and most powerful alliance in the game. Also To be honest I don't really keep up with many other alliances. I just figured out what a "TKR" is, so I think you're safe.

It was all Kauza...I was gonna write a haiku.... He did a great job with it.

Wait a minute...you mean BK decided to fight TKR too? Cool coincidence.

I awoke from my latest months-long Ether binge to find our alliance prosperous, content and tending to crops in fecund fields as far as the unaided eye could see. Bauxite yields were up. Babies mewled like kittens, happy and content in their gilded cribs. A new sub-division (Homeowners association - charter- protected!) ringed my Woody Creek hilltop fortress of depravity and a gaggle of matronly old ladies wore hats and tended to carefully manicured beds of begonias……. flabby upper arms glistening in the sun. Outrage One of those ladies looked me right in the eye! After summarily executing the lot of them, I donned my scapula-skull-cloak (it’s quite heavy but manageable) and because I was born in the 1970’s, I called my friend Trojan on the telephone instead of texting him. He was drunk of course and languishing in affluence. “Young Trojan, I propose we destroy our nations via a conflict for no real reason other than an unmitigated desire for bloodshed and self-immolation. What say you?” In this declaration I’m a low level nobleman from 1846 Great Britain. “Alright, let me get rid of my entire military before we declare war on the largest alliance in the game.” “No military! I like the cut of your jib sir!” And so The Horsemen declare war on The Knights Radiant and that is not a typo.

No, we prefer 13 and up. Also, if the Syndicate is tired of syndicating, you guys are more than welcome to merge....it's gonna be a bit of a pay cut though. Our benefits and compensation package may be somewhat less than you are accustomed to....think of us as a..more of a mom and pop, plucky..making our own artisanal soap and bath products, while being crushed by property taxes and city code fees...alliance

Well maybe...the 4th time is the charm? I don't know. I'm not good with old sayings and such...

What he meant to say was: " Join now and if you have less than 12 cities and we have the cash and we remember then we will most likely probably fund your next city." If you're polite about it and stuff

Horse Force ODP There will come a day when your Orbisian grandchildren will ask you: “ Granpa/Granma…What was Orbis like before the World Task Force and The Horsemen agreed to sometimes defend one another if they felt like it maybe?” You will chuckle a bit, as your hearing will be impaired with age and you may have just a touch of hereditary dementia but your time-ravaged brain will eventually process the information. You will understand what your non-existent offspring means. You will look on your Orbis-borne grandchild with watering-rheumy eyes and you will have forgotten what it was like to live in a Horse-Forceless-Orbis. The concept of a world without Forces (world-wide) and horses (primarily ridden by men) joined sometimes at the metaphorical hip to occasionally help each other out, will seem foreign, repugnant and obscene. Just relax. Your make-believe grandchild is a slathering idiot and you know the truth. You know how it went down. The World Task Force and The Horsemen agreed to enter into an infinitely binding and Adamantium-clad ODP, which could not be ignored unless: They wanted to ignore it, they were busy, they were drunk, they were hungover a bit, they forgot to log in, they didn’t have the money to fight, they forgot they destroyed all of their barracks and shipyards in a fit of capitalism or some other reason of their choosing which was not fully detailed. It was optional but written in the congealing blood of the elder gods forevermore. The World Task Force and The Horsemen ODP: Signed for World Task Force: Nintendo Tarquin RADtx Globoid Johnemann, DVD Tapley Signed for The Horsemen: Death Trojan Doctor Famine Raoul Duke Danial GH And now I’m told I need a picture of some sort to really seal the deal:

Nice stats. I'm going to go tell the rest of The Horsemen that we actually looted 34 million total.I will not mention the 2.4 billion in damages we incurred. I don't think they check the forums. Things are looking up!

Wait a minute. You're supposed to win the wars? Oh..well...that actually does make more sense.

The Fighting Pacifists and The Horsemen have agreed to an indefinite and immediate White Peace. We’re going to have to sit the rest of this one out in general…as we are just about out of bullets, gasoline and available citizens willing to absorb airstrikes, missiles and the occasional nuclear bomb. Good clean fun for everyone… Mental note for the future: Buy more gasoline. Spend less money on Keno.

The 2nd Annual Easter-Timed assault which was in effect a carefully constructed artifice to dramatically spike food prices world-wide and increase the wealth of The Grumpy Old Bastards- war. I'm working on it.

Oh, well that's why all of the people are dying. This just makes more sense now. .

Oh, you think the Horsemen are finished…or maybe you think…who/what is a Horsemen? Horseman? Horsemens? We have killed over 7 people in this war and Doctor Famine was able to almost sabotage a tank before all of his spies were murdered by an unknown nation. Trust us…mark our words…well mark my words… (marking my/our words is not mandatory) …we may kill more than 7 on/in/during our next offensive. We might kill 9 and those 9 will be your best and brightest or it might even be the Orbisian version of your Nanna. Yeah, the Horsemen are going to murder your Orbis-Nanna. Probably with a missile or something…seem to be fresh out of ships and whatnot.

Interesting. It appears one group of humans doesn't like the other group of humans. It may be that Orbis needs an alien invasion of some sort to make us pull together for the common good and also we will all need to pool our resources to explore the reaches of this parallel universe. Apeman will be the ambassador for all of Orbis, spreading good cheer and good will throughout this new galaxy.

Woke up this morning...hard to see outside through the omni-present cloud of uranium/dead-people dust. Anyone have any Hamburger Helper or perhaps a case of Ramen Noodles for sale?

I'm elbow deep in a Golden Girls marathon on the Hallmark Channel and will be preoccupied watching random nations sabotage my nuclear arsenal.

Why is everyone so angry? It's just our citizens and soldiers that are dying. I'm safe and secure in my baby-seal-skin-leather-lined adamantium- bunker. The WI-FI is strong and the Netflix is adequate (just a bit of old-school buffering).

We should all just declare world peace, use the money we would have spent on military units to max out our baseball teams and then spam a couple of billion baseball games. Think of the profits and the delight on the faces of the previously war-torn children. It's actually a viable and infinitely more profitable solution.

Definitely not a disband...

The Horsemen did look out upon the field of battle…. corpses strewn hither and yon…the stench of decay and uranium heavy in the air…. Raoul Duke turned to Trojan and said: “Hey man, I have 1200 munitions and boomerang. Do you feel like attacking an alliance 5 times our size and possibly blowing up a supermarket?” And Trojan replied: “Sure.” And thus, two exalted Horsemen (later followed by three more I think) did boldly ride out upon the aforementioned plain, welcoming maximum infrastructure damage and a significantly lowered military upkeep. The remaining Horsemen waived half-heartedly from the apocalyptic stables and as one did shout! “We’re just gonna chill for a bit!” And so The carnage and wrath was steadfastly dealt for 4 minutes… And then Ragnarok and their associates realized someone had thrown a boomerang at them. Raoul Duke’s never wavering steed (her name was Susan as I recall) was killed in the first airstrike. Trojans towering War-Mule (We will miss you Jorge.) suffered a naval- artillery- induced-myocardial infarction and had to be mercy-strangled. Grim for sure But The Horsemen (now horseless and mule-less) did stumble on…never faltering…eyes fixed on the goal…and finally…Trojan, Raoul Duke, Danial Gh, Collywobbles and Frederick II…. did blow up that Supermarket…they surely did.

Well I'll be damned. Murderous intent in Orbis? Confusing.

Cleansing nuclear fire can be an effective (if expensive) exfoliant. Let's see here: 280 nuclear missiles X 35,000ish or so....equals...the hypotenuse of the tangent (squared of course) divided by 14