Canbec

Shouldn't you go blitz a pizzeria or something?

Hi Rose. Should I be worried? Sincerely, TKR

After seeing so many incredible leaders retiring in January 2023, it's nice to break the trend and see some terrible ones retire too. Enjoy retirement! 😘 Best of luck to AlexW, Xi and Franz!

Congrats on a well-earned retirement! Enjoy the good life!

On behalf of TKR, Happy Birthday to our friends from Name Withheld! ❤️ P.S. the cake was delicious.

Congrats and good luck! So much potential for comedy gold with this theme!

ESPN8: The Ocho Presents the Orbitite Dodgeball Organization of Orbis (ODOO) Cotton McKnight: Welcome everyone to another riveting presentation of the most exciting sport on television: the Orbitite Dodgeball Organization of Orbis’ annual championship tournament, exclusively presented here on ESPN8: The Ocho. Can you feel the electricity in the air, Pepper? Pepper Brooks: That’s right Cotton, the energy in the air is absolutely electric. Cotton: Yes it is! We’re going to see today the absolute cream of the crop in Orbis dodgeball and possibly witness some of the best dodgeball ever played. This year’s tournament features 5 regional ODOO champions, all facing off to win the coveted trophy and the FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLAR grand prize. Pepper: *whistles* Fifty thousand dollarydoos, that’s a lot of mullah Cotton! Cotton: Indeed. Now let’s talk teams! Coming out first is a well-known and impressive group of teenagers, Girl Scout Troop #417. Led by team captain Yosodog, a veteran of the Orbis dodgeball circuit, they are coming into this tournament as the heavy favourites after crushing every team they faced on the regional circuit. Cotton: Next up, from the streets to the court, we have the ever-snazzy Skillz That Killz. Their team captain, TigerFire, is a former captain of another one of our participating teams, and I for one am excited to see what rivalries come to light when those two teams face off later today! Pepper: Nothing better than some dope rivalries to excite the crowd yo! Cotton: Now let’s welcome a team that needs no introduction: the returning ODOO champions, the Purple Cobras. With their unique two-captain approach to leadership, team captains Decagon and Keegoz are hoping to take home the title again this year after a rocky finish to their regional tournament. Pepper: Look at those uniforms, Cotton! Shinier than ever! Cotton: Our fourth team today is definitely a crowd-pleaser. Adored by young men everywhere, MilFs and their team captain, Bradley, have put on quite the show for us this season. I look forward to their match-up against Girl Scout Troop #417 in particular! Cotton: Closing out this year’s roster is the ragtag group of misfits from Average Joe’s gym, who just barely eked out a regional win to get them to this year’s championship. Led by their recently-appointed captain, Canbec, this team has faced a tough couple of months with many observers writing them off entirely. Pepper: Yes they’re definitely coming into this tournament as the underdogs! Cotton: In classically subversive ODOO fashion, rather than the traditional brackets of other, lesser sports leagues, each of these five teams will face off against every other team. If any of the teams are tied for victory, the champions will be decided by sudden death elimination in accordance with ODOO Continuation Rule 113-D. The simple chart outlining the upcoming matchups should be visible on your screens now. Pepper: Effin’ A, Cotton! Effin’ A! ---------------------------- Black Knights, Cataclysm, Mayhem, Name Withheld and The Knights Radiant proudly present the Orbitite Dodgeball Organization of Orbis’ (ODOO) 5 Ds of Dodgeball: Dodge: Non-Aggression and Sovereignty Signatories shall dodge away from each other on the court. Each signatory acknowledges the sovereignty of each other signatory, and agrees not to interfere in the other signatories’ internal affairs, aiming to resolve any dispute internally and in a timely fashion. No signatory shall endorse military, espionage or political action against another signatory. Duck: Non-Chaining Signatories can duck when not concerned. In the event that a signatory is either attacked or performs an attack as a result of their obligations toward a non-signatory, the fourth D (Dive: Mutual Defense) shall be considered optional. Dip: Cancellation Signatories may dip out at any time. Each signatory has the right to cancel their participation in the ODOO at any time, but must first provide the other signatories with a 72-hour notice of such decision. Signatories agree to be bound by all 5 Ds of Dodgeball during the notice period, but shall no longer be bound by them after the notice period ends. Dive: Mutual Defense Signatories shall dive to save each other. Each signatory shall coordinate with and defend every other signatory against all harm, military or otherwise. Dodge: Intelligence Signatories shall only dodge questions from non-signatories. Each signatory agrees to share all relevant information regarding the sovereignty, political and economic interests, and general well-being of any other signatory. TL;DR: Black Knights, Cataclysm, Mayhem, Name Withheld and The Knights Radiant announce a new bloc called the Orbitite Dodgeball Organization of Orbis, or ODOO. Separately, TKR has given notice of cancellation to its protectorates, Federated States of Orbis and World Task Force. ---------------------------- Signed for Average Joe’s Canbec, King of the Heralds BigMorf, Ghostblood Babsk Kyubnyan, Herald of Internal Affairs Steven Hoffmann, Herald of War Schirminator, Herald of Growth Signed for Purple Cobras Decagon/Keegoz - CoLeader Cadn - 2iC Signed for MilFs: [REDACTED] O5-0: The Resurrected O5-1: The Pilot O5-2: The Spaceman O5-3: Nine-tails O5-4: The Dreamer Signed for Girl Scout Troop #417 Biel Signed for Skillz That Killz TigerFire, Hegemon The Titan, Remnant of Econ Boyce the Great, Remnant of Milcom Talon, Remnant of IA Tevron, Remnant of FA

I believe I'm owed royalties on this announcement. Regardless, good luck to you both on your future adventures!

The Knights Radiant and Name Withheld have issued 72 hour notices of cancellation of their respective treaties with Carthago. We are proud to have fought alongside them during our recent war with Midgard, but it is now time to go our separate ways. We wish them all the best! Signed, The Knights Radiant Canbec, King of the Heralds BigMorf, Ghostblood Babsk Kyubnyan, Herald of Internal Affairs Lancelot, Herald of Growth Steven Hoffmann, Herald of War Name Withheld [REDACTED] O5-0: The Resurrected O5-1: The Pilot O5-2: The Spaceman O5-3: Nine-tails O5-4: The Dreamer

Thank you for a well-fought war, @Sval, and for agreeing to our lenient terms. GL with the rebuild!

Congrats all on peace! Can someone please point me to the "very standard" 14 peace terms? I can't seem to find them in the post.

Congrats and good luck with the merger!

Now you know why we liked the name 😉

And the nominees are: *crickets*

It amazes me just how quickly you've turned into a TKR shill. I tear up at how far you've come.

Seeing @ToxicPepper upvote this is 👌

No, we're going with a whole revisionist history approach 🙃

You're right they really do. "TKR Better... Rose sucks" - Hestu the Cruel

I'm a fan of requiring daily activity, but I think the more reasonable option would be a 3-day cutoff. One week feels like too long to consider anyone active.

Happy birthday! I don't see any raid auction in the post, but I'll pay you $1 to raid @BigMorf

Congrats on peace!

Hi Orbis friends (and Midgard ♥️)! There’s no doubt about it, 2022 has been a particularly challenging year for many. (And I’m not talking about the two rebuilds we lost.) I’m talking about people all over the world enduring various forms of hardship brought upon by increasingly challenging economic, political, environmental and social landscapes. Despite all the cheer that comes with it, holiday season is a time of significant need for many people and non-profit organisations. That’s why TKR is proud to announce the return of Orange Man Gives: TKR’s Holiday Charity Donation Drive, which last year saw TKR members donate time and just over $1,000 USD to various non-profit organizations. Our members are invited to donate time or money to any local, national or international non-profit organisation of their choosing between now and January 1st, and we hope to report back to you all in the new year with a total donated amount exceeding last year’s haul. In the meantime however, we’re inviting the rest of the Orbis community to join us! We invite you all to make a donation or volunteer time to a charity of your choosing between now and January 1st, and let us know in this thread about the charity you’re supporting and how and why you’re supporting them. We will be raffling off a prize of $250m (PnW money, of course) among all non-TKR players who make such a post below before January 1st at 23:59 game time. If other alliances want to try to out-donate us, we welcome the competition! Just please do not donate anything you can’t afford to. Happy Holidays Orbis! -The Knights Radiant P.S. For those of you based in the US who don’t know which charities to donate to, check out Charity Navigator, which has a lot of great recommendations and search tools to help you find a charity that supports a cause you care about.