A Syndicate Statement on Retirement and Assassination Claims

[Lucas]

SYNDICATE, INC. ISSUES STATEMENT ON RETIREMENT OF LONGEST-SERVING EXECUTIVE AND DEBUNKS ASSASSINATION CLAIMS

NASSAU, Bahamas, 2024-03-14:  SYNDICATE, Inc., (NYSE:SCC) issues a twofold statement congratulating Lucas, record-breaking longest-serving member of the Executive board, on his retirement. For over three years as Chief Operations Officer, he has served the interests of the corporation, striving to always bring more value to its shareholders, prevailing over underachieving would-be usurpers and two-faced maniacs alike. 

President Tom, illustrious member and long-time vice president of Asset Command, rises to fill the seat of Chief Operations Officer. He is supported by vice president of Corporate Strategy, MaiseeDaisee. Both were seen clad in black robes near the Sith shrine outside the company headquarters in Nassau, no doubt contemplating their long work under Lucas and what the future holds. 

However, the Syndicate is saddened to find itself in the position of having its newest Executive face utterly unfounded accusations of murder, and categorically condemns such naked, odious opportunism in the face of this historic event. 

Chief Global Strategist and media contact Tarroc — increasingly better known by his birth name, Gaius Julius Caesar — has expressed displeasure at the claims. At a business lunch, he was quoted as saying, “Lucas has always been an intensely private individual. It was well within his rights, and perfectly in-character as well, not to make a public announcement himself, choosing instead to leave quietly and suddenly, and having Thomas notify the board on his behalf. To even suggest he was murdered as part of some religious ritual is nonsensical.”

The department’s spokesperson, now working directly under President Tom after signing a generous contract renewal, has informed the media that Lucas has permanently relocated to Exegol, his favorite retreat, and will continue to serve the company in an advisory capacity. As a token of gratitude for years of service, and keenly aware of his desire for privacy, the Syndicate has restricted all travel to Exegol in the Unknown Regions for the foreseeable future. 

Longest-serving Executive of the Syndicate, still alive and well, retires peacefully and without bloodshed. May he rest.

[Slade]

syndicate-.- inc. issues statement on wetiwement of w-wongest-sewving executive a-and debunks a-assassination c-cwaims

nassau, bahamas, 2024-03-14:  syndicate, inc., (nyse:scc) issues a twofowd s-statement congwatuwating wucas〜☆  wecowd-bweaking wongest-sewving member of the e-executive boawd, on his w-wetiwement. fow over thwee yeaws a-as chief o-opewations officer-.- he h-has sewved the intewests of the cowpowation...  stwiving to awways b-bwing more vawue to its s-shawehowdews, pwevaiwing over u-undewachieving wouwd-be usuwpers a-and t-two-faced m-maniacs awike. 

pwesident tom, iwwustwious member and wong-time v-vice p-pwesident o-of asset command, wises to fill the s-seat of c-chief opewations officer xD he is suppowted b-by vice p-pwesident o-of cowpowate stwategy, maiseedaisee uguu..,  both w-were seen cwad i-in bwack wobes n-neaw the sith s-shwine outside the company headquawters in nassau, no doubt contempwating theiw wong wowk under wucas and what the future howds (o^▽^o) 

however mmm.. the syndicate is saddened to f-find itsewf in the position of having its newest executive face uttewwy unfounded accusations of muwder *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧  and categowicawwy c-condemns such naked, odious o-oppowtunism in the face of this histowic event ( ˘⌣˘)♡(˘⌣˘ ) 

chief gwobaw stwategist a-and m-media contact tawwoc — i-incweasingwy better known by his b-biwth name, gaius juwius caesaw — has expwessed dispweasuwe at the cwaims. at a business wunch...  he was quoted as saying ☆*:・ﾟ  “wucas has a-awways been an intensewy pwivate i-individuaw. it was well within his wights, and pewfectwy in-chawacter a-as well-.- not to m-make a p-pubwic announcement himsewf, c-choosing instead to weave q-quietwy and s-suddenwy, a-and having thomas n-notify the boawd on his behawf. to even suggest he was muwdewed as pawt of some wewigious wituaw is n-nonsensicaw.”

the depawtment’s spokespewson, n-now wowking diwectwy under pwesident tom after signing a genewous contwact wenewaw.., has infowmed the media t-that wucas has pewmanentwy wewocated to exegow *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧  his favowite wetweat.., and w-will continue to s-sewve t-the c-company i-in an advisowy capacity ( ˘⌣˘)♡(˘⌣˘ ) a-as a token of gwatitude fow yeaws of sewvice, and k-keenwy aware of his desire f-fow pwivacy, the syndicate h-has westwicted all twavew to exegow in the unknown wegions fow the foweseeable future (≧◡≦) 

wongest-sewving executive o-of the syndicate, still a-awive and well, w-wetires peacefuwwy and without bwoodshed ☆*:・ﾟ  may he west-.-

[Divinum]

Like Palpatine, Lucas will abruptly and arbitrarily return at some point in the near future.

[Astoria]

Long live the Sith

[Velyni Vas]

Congratulations on the retirement.

[Leopold von Habsburg]

The longest serving exec, I remember when I made you VP Lucas, I knew you wouldnt let me down. Bravo to being the steadying light through all that was thrown at you! 

The last Spartan

Edited March 15, 2024 by Leopold von Habsburg

[Kastor]

Congratulations Lucas.

[Sketchy]

38 minutes ago, Slade said:

syndicate-.- inc. issues statement on wetiwement of w-wongest-sewving executive a-and debunks a-assassination c-cwaims

nassau, bahamas, 2024-03-14:  syndicate, inc., (nyse:scc) issues a twofowd s-statement congwatuwating wucas〜☆  wecowd-bweaking wongest-sewving member of the e-executive boawd, on his w-wetiwement. fow over thwee yeaws a-as chief o-opewations officer-.- he h-has sewved the intewests of the cowpowation...  stwiving to awways b-bwing more vawue to its s-shawehowdews, pwevaiwing over u-undewachieving wouwd-be usuwpers a-and t-two-faced m-maniacs awike. 

pwesident tom, iwwustwious member and wong-time v-vice p-pwesident o-of asset command, wises to fill the s-seat of c-chief opewations officer xD he is suppowted b-by vice p-pwesident o-of cowpowate stwategy, maiseedaisee uguu..,  both w-were seen cwad i-in bwack wobes n-neaw the sith s-shwine outside the company headquawters in nassau, no doubt contempwating theiw wong wowk under wucas and what the future howds (o^▽^o) 

however mmm.. the syndicate is saddened to f-find itsewf in the position of having its newest executive face uttewwy unfounded accusations of muwder *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧  and categowicawwy c-condemns such naked, odious o-oppowtunism in the face of this histowic event ( ˘⌣˘)♡(˘⌣˘ ) 

chief gwobaw stwategist a-and m-media contact tawwoc — i-incweasingwy better known by his b-biwth name, gaius juwius caesaw — has expwessed dispweasuwe at the cwaims. at a business wunch...  he was quoted as saying ☆*:・ﾟ  “wucas has a-awways been an intensewy pwivate i-individuaw. it was well within his wights, and pewfectwy in-chawacter a-as well-.- not to m-make a p-pubwic announcement himsewf, c-choosing instead to weave q-quietwy and s-suddenwy, a-and having thomas n-notify the boawd on his behawf. to even suggest he was muwdewed as pawt of some wewigious wituaw is n-nonsensicaw.”

the depawtment’s spokespewson, n-now wowking diwectwy under pwesident tom after signing a genewous contwact wenewaw.., has infowmed the media t-that wucas has pewmanentwy wewocated to exegow *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧  his favowite wetweat.., and w-will continue to s-sewve t-the c-company i-in an advisowy capacity ( ˘⌣˘)♡(˘⌣˘ ) a-as a token of gwatitude fow yeaws of sewvice, and k-keenwy aware of his desire f-fow pwivacy, the syndicate h-has westwicted all twavew to exegow in the unknown wegions fow the foweseeable future (≧◡≦) 

wongest-sewving executive o-of the syndicate, still a-awive and well, w-wetires peacefuwwy and without bwoodshed ☆*:・ﾟ  may he west-.-

How to overdo a joke to death 101

Get new material my dude

[Gaius Julius Caesar]

Lucas, I can say without a doubt, I've never enjoyed a greater honour in this game than serving alongside you for these past nine months. Your unwavering dedication and determination have been an inspiration and a marvel to behold over my years in T$, from the moment you stepped into the office of Chief Operations Officer, to this moment now. I wish you a relaxing and fruitful retirement, no one in the history of T$ has more earned it than you. Thank you for your service.

[Zayba]

To Lucas, congratulations on the retirement and a well deserved one at that. Three years is a long time. To President Tom and MaiseeDaisee, congratulations to the two of you as well. Best wishes to all three of you on your new paths.

[Slade]

21 minutes ago, Sketchy said:

How to overdo a joke to death 101

Get new material my dude

No u

[Denison]

1 hour ago, Slade said:

syndicate-.- inc. issues statement on wetiwement of w-wongest-sewving executive a-and debunks a-assassination c-cwaims

nassau, bahamas, 2024-03-14:  syndicate, inc., (nyse:scc) issues a twofowd s-statement congwatuwating wucas〜☆  wecowd-bweaking wongest-sewving member of the e-executive boawd, on his w-wetiwement. fow over thwee yeaws a-as chief o-opewations officer-.- he h-has sewved the intewests of the cowpowation...  stwiving to awways b-bwing more vawue to its s-shawehowdews, pwevaiwing over u-undewachieving wouwd-be usuwpers a-and t-two-faced m-maniacs awike. 

pwesident tom, iwwustwious member and wong-time v-vice p-pwesident o-of asset command, wises to fill the s-seat of c-chief opewations officer xD he is suppowted b-by vice p-pwesident o-of cowpowate stwategy, maiseedaisee uguu..,  both w-were seen cwad i-in bwack wobes n-neaw the sith s-shwine outside the company headquawters in nassau, no doubt contempwating theiw wong wowk under wucas and what the future howds (o^▽^o) 

however mmm.. the syndicate is saddened to f-find itsewf in the position of having its newest executive face uttewwy unfounded accusations of muwder *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧  and categowicawwy c-condemns such naked, odious o-oppowtunism in the face of this histowic event ( ˘⌣˘)♡(˘⌣˘ ) 

chief gwobaw stwategist a-and m-media contact tawwoc — i-incweasingwy better known by his b-biwth name, gaius juwius caesaw — has expwessed dispweasuwe at the cwaims. at a business wunch...  he was quoted as saying ☆*:・ﾟ  “wucas has a-awways been an intensewy pwivate i-individuaw. it was well within his wights, and pewfectwy in-chawacter a-as well-.- not to m-make a p-pubwic announcement himsewf, c-choosing instead to weave q-quietwy and s-suddenwy, a-and having thomas n-notify the boawd on his behawf. to even suggest he was muwdewed as pawt of some wewigious wituaw is n-nonsensicaw.”

the depawtment’s spokespewson, n-now wowking diwectwy under pwesident tom after signing a genewous contwact wenewaw.., has infowmed the media t-that wucas has pewmanentwy wewocated to exegow *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧  his favowite wetweat.., and w-will continue to s-sewve t-the c-company i-in an advisowy capacity ( ˘⌣˘)♡(˘⌣˘ ) a-as a token of gwatitude fow yeaws of sewvice, and k-keenwy aware of his desire f-fow pwivacy, the syndicate h-has westwicted all twavew to exegow in the unknown wegions fow the foweseeable future (≧◡≦) 

wongest-sewving executive o-of the syndicate, still a-awive and well, w-wetires peacefuwwy and without bwoodshed ☆*:・ﾟ  may he west-.-

Someone give this individual the Mussolini treatment. RIGHT NOW.

[Salvarity]

Congrats Lucas!

Condolences to Tom and Maisee

[Kendle]

Enjoy your retirement, Lucas.

[Bobert]

can i have your money?

 

[Franz Steiger]

Congrats and enjoy your retirement!

[sheikh]

Congratulations Lucas, and good luck t$

[Rein Dvorak]

Congratulations and enjoy your retirement.

[Sniper]

Congratulations on your retirement.