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Greetings and Bon Apetit to all my future slaves and/or future deceased and irradiated imbeciles

Lardbelly

By Lardbelly,
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Lardbelly Casual Member

Lardbelly

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This is your soon-to-be Lord High Culinary Commander, the Insatiable Lardbelly the Corpulent of the great nation of Jumbostan.  If you happen to currently have any spies in my country, they have surely reported back to you that all are happy in my kingdom because each citizen has but one purpose in life:  keep me happy with an endless supply of pizza from their own pizza orchards. 

 

If your spies have not reported this back to you, that is because they are dead.  I am deadly even in my morbid obesity.  But if you send more spies that aren't dead yet, they will surely report back to you all the things that I previously said they would probably report back to you if they're not dead yet.

 

So, that introduction having been introduced, let me explain to you:  soon my nation will be the most powerful and delicious on the entire planet.  I will require regular gifts of tasty meats, cheeses, and sugary desserts from all leaders of all peoples.  Should these gifts not be pleasing to my palate, or should you fail to take my decrees seriously, your country will be nuked.  Your people will be killed unti they die from it.  And glowing.  They will be glowing too because of the nuclear stuff.

 

Good day to you all.

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All Hail Lardbelly!  Lord of Digestion!  Conqueror of Quesadillas!  Ruler of Rotissierie!  Potentate of Pizza!  Future Irresponsible Wielder of Thermonuclear Weapons! 

Bring me your finest meats and cheeses or be nuked into so much radioactive grit!  You have been warned.....

 

 

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Ayayay Legendary Member

Ayayay

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Anyone else getting SCP-458 vibes?

Also welcome, pizza is okay but fruits and vegetables are healthy for you. Now eat your broccoli or you're grounded!

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Orbis Wars   |   CSI: UPN   |   B I G O O F   |   PW Expert Has Nerve To Tell You How To Run Your Own Goddamn Alliance | Occupy Wall Street | Sheepy Sings

TheNG - My favorite part is when Steve suggests DEIC might have done something remotely successful, then gets massively shit on for proposing such a stupid idea.

On 1/4/2016 at 6:37 PM, Sheepy said:
Sheepy said:

I'm retarded, you win

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