Sailor Jerry
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Everything posted by Sailor Jerry
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A 'terriable' game with 'terriable' people
Sailor Jerry replied to Peter Quill's topic in Orbis Central
Uhhh........Did I miss something? -
No.....unfortunately. The closest I ever got to that was, I was at a neighbor's house during a cookout and I dropped my hamburger in my lap. Before I could get it, their dog (a girl dog), swooped in and starting to eat the damn thing right out of my lap! Now looking back on it.....I can't remember now if that "tingley" sensation I had that day down in my bathingsuit area was from pain or arousal!
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To me, clowns aren’t funny. In fact, they’re kind of scary. I’ve wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.
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If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you’ll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.
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Who really gives a shit.....has she done anything to change anyone's life for the better.....besides maybe finishing a few strokes early......cough, cough.......Shifty!
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One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. “Oh, no,” I said, “Disneyland burned down.” He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.
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Two wrongs don't make a right, take your parents as an example.
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Well said. On 11Sep2001, I was stationed in Pearl Harbor Hawaii aboard an Aegis class Destroyer. On that day, around 0800 local time, we were suppose to get underway and moor at the naval weapons magazine across the harbor at Lualualei to do a two day weapons onload for the ships upcoming 6-month deployment which would leave in Oct. So, early......I mean early in the morning, I get woke up by a phone call from my parents in Caly. I was living off base at the time with my wife and then, 1 year old daughter. I answered the phone to my hysterical mother screaming that we've just been attacked and what is going on, etc, etc and her yelling at me to turn on the news. My wife and I didn't have the TV on for more than a couple of minutes before we watched the 2nd plane hit the WTC. I looked at my wife and said "I have to get to the ship.....now" I packed my seabag and made the 1/2 mile jog to base. The gate was already starting to back up due to vehicular traffic. The base was already in the process of going into complete shutdown......military personnel only allowed on......no dependents......no civilian contracts. Once I got to my ship, things were moving quickly. The quarterdeck was passing the word for "Reveilie, reveille". Mind you though, that usually doesn't happen until 0600.....every morning. I make down into the 75 man berthing compartment as people are waking up, swearing and cursing at "Why the hell is reveille being called so !@#$ing early!". I slammed on the lights and put the TV to CNN......everyone who had duty that night and slept aboard, were watching with glazed eyes and jaws dropped. So about 0500, the C.O. comes on to the announcing system and tells everyone to inside the skin of the ship. After a brief pause, he starts again. "This morning, we were suppose to go and do our onload......that has now changed. We are the only ship in the area capable of getting underway. Of the other 3 ships inport,one in drydock, the other two are in various states of heavy maintenance efforts and the majority of their systems are not up and ready. We have been tasked by DESRON (destroyer squadron commanders official title), to get underway and take up a position off of Diamond Head and act as the State's air defense platform. Make preparations for getting the ship underway in 30 minutes. Make all readiness reports to the Officer of the Deck who is now movinging his watch from the Quarterdeck to the Bridge. That is all". I might not have recalled it exactly, but that was pretty much the jest of it. So for the next 14 days, we did figure-8s about 15 miles off the coast of Oahu....tracking and reporting all air tracks and working in conjunction with the Air Force at Hickam Air Base. I only personally knew one person who died that day. He was " Michael Allen Noeth, 30, of Jackson Heights, New York. http://projects.washingtonpost.com/911victims/michael-allen-noeth/ I always thought he was a bit of odd duck, but a great guy none the less. Let us never forget this day and keep all those died and all those who risked everything to help protect those who lived.
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If God dwells inside us, like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that’s what He’s getting!
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Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.
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Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: “Mankind.” Basically, it’s made up of two separate words, mank and ind. What do these words mean? It’s a mystery, and that’s why so is mankind.
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I'm fine with that....just call it "U.S. Military Base (whatever town it's in)". As to people who have done major works of the good of humanity.....nope.....no peoples names at all...period....end of story!
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So a few folks are all butt-hurt about some street signs and monuments. Who cares! To make things fair.....since history will just be taught in schools and by family and friends, lets remove all street signs and monuments that are named after anyone or anything or any idea. No street should be named after a person.....no more "Martin Luther King Blvd" or "Rosa Parks Blvd" or "Sam Cooke Way" or "Muhammad Ali Blvd" or "Jackie Robinson Pkwy" because that could be offensive to some folks......just use numbers and letters for street signs......once you've run through the alphabet, just start doubling up, "AA Ave", "DYR St", or a combination of letters and numbers. Unless you have a hatred of letters and number, then this should solve it.
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Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
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Holy crap......I'm gone for the long weekend and come back to this "Tom-Foolery". Oh well......obligatory...."Yay.......we exist"......and shit!
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You want people to listen to the show don't you?
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I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don’t just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.
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If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something.
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If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is “God is crying.” And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is “Probably because of something you did.”
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For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here’s a tip: why not add a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness?
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So Orbis.....would you rather have a 30 minute make out session with Rosie O'Donnell or a 30 minute make out session with a dead Angelina Jolie?
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Well done again.....as usual....highlight of my day!!!!
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So.....anyone kick a puppy today?
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...and all should bow down and pay homage to the one.....the only....the true Dio!!!!!
