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Kung Shake Sao

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Everything posted by Kung Shake Sao

  1. It is with great excitement that I announce the winner of the Wastelander, do excuse the extra length in this post, the organizer of this event got brutally attacked by a herd of human eating radioactive badgers, and he literally just got out of the hospital today following the attack, please send your regards and blessings to our dear organizer Doctor Erick Action, may he have a speedy recovery. In what must of had been thrilling matchup. Idk I didn't watch it cause I was in the hospital remember? While Hardball was losing the game, I was literally fighting for my life, what were you doing? Farting? Oh you were farting while Hardball lost 4-2, and got utterly humiliated by Baden-Warttemberg, well isnt your life exciting? The Baden-Wùrttemberg squad stole the game from Hardball following a thrilling 2nd half where the Baden-Wūrttemberg squad regained control of the pitch (they were aided by the fact, that Zapoten authorities literally murdered their entire team last time don't you remember?) How did Baden-Wûrttemberg manage to go one entire half losing 2-0 against a completely empty enemy team? Well I don't know, but they deserve 3rd place for such ability. The most thrilling of the tournament, the finals of the Wastelander cup between the squads of MeLand and Nurmengard, had to be delayed after 50,000 pigeons took a poop on the stadium, delaying pre-game procedures and protocols. Once the game started, the crowd was treated to a thrilling goal from MeLand striker MeLand striker#52 who on a thrilling shot managed to beat Nurmengardian goalie, who was actually not present after he was found suffering from debilitating diarrhea (much similar to how I got after that badger attack). The MeLand squad was able to take advantage of the situation and lead the Nurmengardian squad to a 3-0 lead. The fact that half of the Nurmengardian squad were kidnapped and strung to a chair while dressed in taco suits, also while they got brutally attacked by Taco eating Crocodiles also helped. The MeLand squad felt mercy and allowed a Nurmengardian substitute, a literal shark to score the only goal of the Nurmengardian squad, it was a wonderful shot btw. With this results, I announce MeLand as the winner of the Wastelander Cup!
  2. It is with great displeasure that we announce the results of the Semifinals. The great team of Nurmengard defeated the Hardballian Squad in a thrilling 1-0 match. The Hardballian team had been accidentally infected with Rabies, and were also brutally attacked by a gang of Yellow Eyed Burmese Human eating rabbits, and thus could not appear on the match, with their squad forfeiting the game. The Baden-Wûrrtemberg squad made a thrilling game against MeLand, but could not successfully defeat the MeLand who in a stroke of luck managed to get a 2 player advantage over the Baden squad, after two Baden-Wūrrtemberg players were ejected via red card, following a violent attack on MeLand players using the name Baden-Assemberg to taunt them. Now with our finals and the 3rd place matches set for the next game day. We would like to take a moment for our sponsor Geico, who insured Zapote against any legal claims for infecting and murdering team players of the Hardball team, thank you Geico!
  3. It is with great displeasure with which we present todays results. Horrifyingly the great team of Zapote has suffered a crushing defeat against the Hardball team. Following the match, riots were witnessed across the country and close to 50 million people have died in the absolute chaos following the defeat. The Minister of Defence has announced that all members of Team Hardball will be brutally murdered by 10 Octopuses with chainsaws and nun-chucks attached to their limbs. Congratulations to the 4 advancing teams: Nurmengard, Hardball, MeLand, and Baden-Wurrtemberg.
  4. It is with riveting fireworks with which we celebrate the end of the 3rd game day and the Group stage of the Wastelander Cup. Only 8 teams will advance to the next stage of games. It is with great pleasure the Zapoten Organizing committee announces the results of the 3rd round. It is with great pleasure that we also announce the 8 teams that have classified, you may see the brackets in the picture below:
  5. With the second round of games concluded, some teams fear they might be knocked out of the Wastelander Cup. The Biohazard squad was rocked suddenly after a player was found unconscious in their hotel room, with numerous organs missing, a clear sign of organ harvesting, the Shilo squad has stated they did not perform the operation, although numerous flags from that country were found littered on the floor of the hotel room. Zapoten authorities have launched an investigation into the matter, stating frustration at the fact they hadn't thought of doing that themselves.
  6. As fans from all corners of the world gathered in the Workers National Stadium of Pers to witness the opening ceremony of the Wastelander Cup, fans were granted the pleasant experience to witness that all seats were actually comfortable Sofas that definitely did not try to steal biometric data from the occupant. The ceremony started with 3 children chasing an oversized football across the field, unfortunately one of the children kicked the ball towards the stands, accidentally murdering 5 guests, and injuring another 15. Following this hiccup a group of 500 dancers entered into the stadium to recreate a lost form of Pre-Apocalypse art, which had recently been rediscovered, the dance of the so called "Macarena" was recreated by the 500 dancers to the audience. The dance went splendid, and the government has ensured that do to the fine performance, no member of the 500 dancers would lose a limb for bad performance. The festivities switched to showcasing Zapoten Culture, a group of 30 male and 30 female performers entered the stadium riding horses, showcasing Zapote's recent history, the 60 performers conducted several tricks with their horses as they slowly lined up to spell out the name of Zapote in Zapoten Sapôchê, unfortunately the choreographer of the performance had run the name through unGoogle Translate, and got Sapote, which lead to the performers being attacked with tomatoes, and Anti-Radiation Cruise Missiles by the crowd. Following this, 18 children entered the stadium waving the flags of the 18 contestant countries. Soon after Premier Kung Shake Sao made his way to the center of the stadium to greet the crowd, walking alongside his son who was carrying the flag of Zapote, as the crowds reaction was less than ideal members of the army flooded the stadium and threatened to shoot guests until they were on their feet applauding the great Premier. With the formalities over the Premier was granted the inaugural kick, the Premier ready and eager prepared his shot, and scored a dazzling curving ball into the goal, completely fooling the goalie, President of the National Congress Hoàng Minh Tu. With the games officially opened a large show of fireworks were fired from the stadium. Outside soldiers shot their firearms in celebration, prompting the premier to be evacuated in fear he might be hit. With the games inaugurated, all remaining was for the tournament to begin.
  7. Following we have the results of the first round of games.
  8. The Wastelander Hosting Committee is stipulated by contract to showcase the 6 venues of the event, although it does not certify whether the stadiums showcased in the images will be present at the start of matches, or whether the capacity figures are accurate or will be respected at all. The Wastelander Hosting Committee also waives any and all rights to refunds if stadiums are nothing more than dirt fields outside a Nuclear energy plant. Enjoy!
  9. Zapote wins test match against Biohazard in riveting game Zapote wins a thrilling 3-2 game against an aggressive Biohazard squad https://politicsandwar.com/bulletin/id=2824/zapote-wins-test-match-against-biohazard-in-riveting-game
  10. Welcome all to the glorious first iteration of the Wastelander Cup organized by the Federation of Wastelander Football (FWF). It is to be hosted in the glorious country of Zapote, the superpower that definitely did not bribe their way into hosting the tournament, or threatened to kill the organizers if they were not awarded the cup. Anyways... Seeking to establish friendlier and stronger relationships between nations in the Wasteland, the FWF has sought to establish a more modern iteration of the ancient World Cup celebrated in the pre-Apocalyptic world. The tournament will seek to distract the starving, half-dead population of the Wasteland with some of the highest quality entertainment since the World Cannibal Federation. The host nation has promised that no more than 20 people will die in the tournament, and that they will ensure no foreign fans find themselves among the ranks of the Zapoten Peoples Revolutionary Army. Without further delay, let the games begin! Rules Teams will play in groups of 3, playing one match with each. The best team in each group advances to the Quarter-Finals along with the best 2nd place team. Results will be posted upon that day, you may roleplay the match if desired, although the final result may not change. Posts regarding teams or other situations regarding the tournament are allowed, but ultimately comes down to me whether this are considered canon or just removed. Roleplay is not mandatory, but if you want to roleplay you may post it here in the forum or link a bulletin post in here. Remember to have fun And enjoy the fact the top 3 spots earn money . Schedule Group Stage 1st game August 5th Zapote - Indian Genius (Inaugural Game) Workers National Stadium, Pers Hardball - His Holy Decagon Kurei Revolutionary Field, Kurei Vryland - Kickass Stadium of the Revolution, Laitaka Biohazard - No idea Kansai Energy Field, Kansai WickedLands - MeLand Great River Stadium, Ongoya Pinktopia - Bush land Zapoten Oil's Stadium, Edrona Group Stage 2nd game August 7th Indian Genius - Landalux Stadium of the Revolution, Laitaka His Holy Decagon - Chapsonia Kansai Energy Field, Kansai Kickass - Nurmengard Great River Stadium, Ongoya No idea - Shilo Workers National Stadium, Pers MeLand - Drizzyland Zapoten Oil's Stadium, Edrona Bush land - Baden-Wurttemberg Kurei Revolutionary Field, Kurei Group Stage 3rd game August 9th Landalux - Zapote Workers National Stadium, Pers Chapsonia - Hardball Kurei Revolutionary Field, Kurei Nurmengard - Vryland Great River Stadium, Ongoya Shilo - Biohazard Kansai Energy Field, Kansai Drizzyland - WickedLands Stadium of the Revolution, Laitaka Baden-Wurttemberg - Pinktopia Zapoten Oil's Stadium, Edrona Quarter-Finals August 11th Best Group leader in A Bracket - Best 2nd team in A bracket Workers National Stadium, Pers Group Leader in A Bracket - Group Leader in A Bracket Great River Stadium, Ongoya Best Group leader in B Bracket - Best 2nd team in B bracket Zapoten Oil's Stadium, Edrona Group Leader in B Bracket - Group Leader in B Bracket Kansai Energy Field, Kansai Semi-Finals August 13th Semi-Finalist - Semi-Finalist (A Bracket) Stadium of the Revolution, Laitaka Semi-Finalist - Semi-Finalist (B Bracket) Kansai Energy Field, Kansai 3rd Place match August 15th Semi-Finalist (A Bracket) - Semi-Finalist (B Bracket) Kurei Revolutionary Field, Kurei Finals August 15th Finalist A Bracket - Finalist B Bracket Workers National Stadium, Pers The seeding for the Wastelander Cup has established the 6 groups that will kickstart the competition.
  11. I concur with this assessment 100%. During the TCW attack there was very little coordination (not that I saw anyway), and the war consisted of me basically opening the target sheet, doing a copy paste and telling the dude trying to get a target to grab whatever they wanted at their own discretion. Obviously this war was more a struggle to find a target than anything, and we could fulfill any counters in alliance so it was rather redundant to go talk with another alliance and ask for help. When it came to Quack, I made sure (theres dms of me talking with every MA head in Rose, Camelot, TFP, and someone else I cant remember), of me looking for counters for my COTL guys during that initial Quack blitz (I owe those MA folks my life). But as soon as the whole blitz got dealt with, it became again a struggle of finding targets and just copy pasting the sheet, or looking for a target for someone myself. I very sporadically spoke with other alliance MA for counters or the such, as again they could be fulfilled in alliance, so like why bother. When the war kicked off, I thought the exact same process would happen until we got countered by Mystery and Oasis, and the first thing I did was go into Orbis Portal, and just look for TKR's server link, so that I could start working on counters and the such when the time came, and drop servers whenever I needed to speak with someone. It came out as unnecessary as I was able to interact with the entire sphere leadership within a week, it helped greatly that the Sphere Milcom channel was filled with great folks who could react and I could interact with in real time, and I certainly give my credit to that server for winning the war, because I had not seen this coalition/sphere cohesion since NPOLT (perhaps even further back). The best sort of advice I can provide is just communication, communication, communication, because things need to get done and either they get done or they dont get done and you lose. I try my best to instill on folks that initiative to go out there and find their allies and find a common way to defeat the enemy, because a lot of times folks just know their alliance and the folks in there. But those are my two cents, in case anybody attacks me, I'm very dumb as I told someone to beige their defensive war, so you can ignore everything I said here. If you're praising me, thank you for stating the obvious fact of my incredible intelligence, you're pretty smart yourself too.
  12. The actual reason for the Fart.Inc thing, is that I actually told Lefty I could help offshoring after the infamous Gas Leak, on the condition I could name the offshore "Fart.Inc", because you know Farts are Gas, and Lefty lost the gas? He said no. And because Fart.Inc is like the coolest name ever, how could I let it go to waste? Also how am I coming from the shadows? theres like 3 comments of me talking about farts in this thread, if anything I'm coming out of the Flatulence not the shadows.
  13. I'm the one salty at the peace terms, I cannot believe that not once was changing ROASIS name to "Fart.Inc" considered, if I had led the peace negotiations this grave issue would had been resolved with ease. If only I wasn't too busy down declaring C5's I would have had enough energy to have voiced my desires to rename ROASIS to "Fart.Inc" or "Where can I get a BTS meal?", to COTL High Gov, but alas there are no "If only" in life, theres only "I wasn't actually involved in Milcom during the war, anyway heres my analysis" in life.
  14. I was expecting Roasis to change its name to the Johnsons. Or like Fart.Inc or something.
  15. First time posting video, and doing tracking hope it wasnt too bad https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYrvREaunNQ
  16. I think the best solution to ensuring global peace in Orbis is simply not mentioning Sphinx, every time Sphinx is mentioned a leak happens.
  17. My apologies for unleashing this, I just wanted the 20 Million from the referral link. *Le Pensive*
  18. The secret HM leader is the same individual that killed Captain Alex. That’s all I can say, and I run danger of getting punished for this information. And critical government secrets? Is that I farted pretty bad, and Sven didn’t like me posting about it in Gov Chat
  19. Does the +188 mean you know when the PS5 is coming back in stock at Walmart? Please tell me, I must know.
  20. Post your fanfics somewhere else not Alliance Affairs ffs.
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