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My soul is far from having just a minor cold and in need of some chicken soup.
It's more like it's been terminally ill, went outside got sunburnt and had an allergic reaction to air that caused its skin to violently blister, fester, and then burst. Immediately after, it was jumped and beaten with baseball bats and as it tried to crawl blindly towards help, it was hit by a large tractor trailer truck and then left to die.