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TheNG

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Blog Entries posted by TheNG

  1. TheNG
    Hello again everybody! Apologies for not posting the last part of this, as I've had it all ready, but I'm afraid real life intervened for a while. Anyway, we're coming to the end of this play, and the 1st Act of the next will be going up tomorrow. So without further ado, enjoy...
     
    You say Jump, I say Proxy, A Play
    Written by: TheNG
    Edited by: TheNG
    Starring:
    Viridian Entente as itself
    The Syndicate as itself
    Rose as itself
    United Purple Nations as itself
    Brotherhood of the Clouds as itself
    The Dutch East India Company as itself
    Guardian as itself
    Vanguard as itself
    Mensa HQ as itself
    Sheepy as himself
     
    Act 3
    Scene 1 - In front of Rose's house
    Scene: The formerly neat and orderly front lawn of Rose lies in shambles. Mensa HQ and Guardian struggle to get up, stunned by the explosion of Viridian Entente. The Syndicate stands over Rose, who is lying on the ground crying. All four alliance are covered in chunks of Viridian Entente, and stare toward the spot where the alliance formerly stood, watching the giant J that hovers over the spot in shock and confusion. United Purple Nations stands in the background, no longer laughing but instead looking unsure of itself. Sheepy stands by, appearing concerned.
     
    The Syndicate:
    Sheepy? What are you doing here? What happened to VE?
     
    Sheepy:
    Well, we may have a teensy little issue here. Nothing major of course.
     
    Rose:
    angry and sobbing
    Not serious???!!! My best friend just exploded!
     
    Sheepy:
    Nah, it'll be fine. Just a little hacking issue, nothing major.
     
    The Syndicate:
    What? Hacking?
     
    Sheepy:
    So.... it turns out that I might've let someone hack the universe. But just a little.
     
    Guardian:
    Hacking..... the universe? How is that possible?
     
    Sheepy:
    Well, I'm not entirely sure, but they seems to have made Viridian Entente here explode.
     
    The Syndicate:
    How can you not be sure? You're the god here!
     
    Sheepy
    sheepishly
    Well.... yeah, I am. But I mean, this isn't an easy job. Even I have to take breaks for classes and snacks and all that.
     
    The Syndicate:
    You went on a snack break!? Look what happened!
     
    Sheepy:
    C'mon, you guys are blowing this out of proportion, I'll make it all right, trust me.
     
    Rose:
    You let VE get blown up! Sheepy, this isn't a game, this is real life! How could you?
     
    Sheepy laughs nervously
     
    The Syndicate:
    What was that for?
     
    Sheepy:
    You know, it's funny you say that Rose, because this is all actua- you know what, never mind. Let me just fix things up quickly and.... hmmmm.
     
    Guardian:
    Why the "hmmm"?
     
    Sheepy:
    This may be slightly more serious than I first thought. We may have to travel back in time to a previous version of the universe.
     
    The Syndicate:
    What?
     
    Sheepy:
    It's simpler than it sounds, actually. Just go back a little ways when everything was normal, and we'll be all set.
     
    Rose:
    excitedly
    Ohh! Time travel! Can we see dinosaurs!
     
    Sheepy:
    How about seeing VE again?
     
    Rose:
    sadly
    Well, yeah.... I guess..... but what about dinosaurs?
     
    Mensa HQ
    WAIT! You can't do this! This is blatantly unfair to me! I've spent the past several minutes beating up VE. You mean to tell me that all my hard work will be wasted. And VE gets brought back to life???? That's incredibly biased!
     
    Sheepy:
    I'm not sure that's how this works...
     
    Mensa HQ:
    I can't believe this!! Valuing VE over me! My opinion is the most valid, listen to me. VE won't even be beat up anymore! Why do you hate me?
     
    Sheepy:
    I can't hate what I don't understand, this is just how things work.
     
    Mensa HQ:
    sobbing
    Why does everyone hate me? Why does nobody listen only to me? Why is my life so tragic?\
     
    United Purple Nations:
    Listen, can we just do this already? I have places to be you know.
     
    Sheepy:
    Alright, let me just check through my backups. Closest one is.... 10 hours ago. There we are.
     
    United Purple Nations:
    What? 10 hours!? You're telling me you don't do hourly backups of the universe? What kind of deity are you?
     
    The Syndicate:
    That does seem pretty sad Sheepy.
     
    Sheepy:
    Will all you ungrateful morons just shut up!
    pause
    Very good. Here we go.
     
    All the alliances begin talking loudly, trying to get Sheepy's attention. The world begins to spin around them, and suddenly all the alliances are deposited on Rose's lawn 10 hours earlier. Viridian Entente stands beside them.
     
    The Syndicate:
    What.... just happened? Are we back?
     
    Rose:
    I think we... VE!
     
    Rose runs over and hugs Viridian Entente, who looks confused. The Syndicate, Mensa HQ, and Guardian stare unhappily in their direction.
     
    Viridian Entente:
    Uhh... hi Rose. What's going on?
     
    Mensa HQ
    menacingly
    Round 2.....
     
    ​Mensa HQ begins to step threateningly toward Rose and Viridian Entente, but The Syndicate and Guardian hold it back.
     
    Guardian:
    C'mon Mensa, it's been a long night. Let's just go.
     
    Mens HQ, Guardian, and The Syndicate walk away. Mensa HQ kicks Vanguard on the way out, waking the alliance up.
     
    Rose:
    Vanguard? Are you alright?
     
    Vanguard:
    angrily
    No! No I'm not. I thought we were going to be friends, not a punching bag. We're through!
     
    Vanguard stumbles off, wincing in pain. Rose and Viridian Entente are alone except for United Purple Nations.
     
    United Purple Nations:
    Great shows guys, I must be off though. Try not to suck so much next time.
     
    United Purple Nations strides away.
     
    Viridian Entente:
    ​What just happened?
     
    Rose:
    ​Maybe later VE, maybe later.
     
    End Scene 1
     
    Act 3
    Scene 2 - United Purple Nation's underground headquarters
    Scene: The room is massive, dark, and menacing. United Purple Nations sits at the head of a long table, with lights shining from behind casting menacing shadows on the video screens lining the walls. Sheepy is on one of them discussing taxes. There is a knock from somewhere in the darkness.
     
    United Purple Nations:
    Come in!
     
    The Dutch East India Company and Brotherhood of the Clouds emerge from the darkness and sit down on either side of the table, a few chairs away from United Purple Nations.
     
    United Purple Nations:
    Welcome my friends. This meeting of The Covenant is now in order.
     
    Brotherhood of the Clouds:
    So, how did the operation go?
     
    The Dutch East India Company:
    ​Yeah, were you successful?
     
    United Purple Nations:
    Aside from a small hacking issue, the operation was a complete success. Thanks to a bit of persuasion, all our enemies attacked each other, leaving them all weakened. We now control the majority of the alliances in the world, and our opposition has been rendered impotent. We are one step closer to world domination!
     
    Brotherhood of the Clouds:
    Wow! That's amazing news, great job UPN!
     
    The Dutch East India Company:
    Indeed, it was a masterful work.
     
    United Purple Nations:
    Now now, our job isn't complete just yet. There are a few loose ends left, and they need to be taken care of. Now, here's how we're going to do it........
     
    End Act 3
     
    Well, that's that. Even though it was regretfully delayed, I hope you guys enjoyed this play, and look forward to the next coming out soon!
    Have a good day!
  2. TheNG
    Welcome back everyone! I'm glad to see you guys enjoyed yesterday's entry, so I'm going to try to post the rest of this as quickly as possible to make way for the first entry in this war. And with that, read on....
     
    You say Jump, I say Proxy, A Play
    Written by: TheNG
    Edited by: TheNG
    Starring:
    Viridian Entente as itself
    The Syndicate as itself
    Rose as itself
    United Purple Nations as itself
    Guardian as itself
    Vanguard as itself
    Mensa HQ as itself
    Sheepy as himself
     
    Act 2
    Scene 1 - In front of Viridian Entente's house
    Scene: Unlike the backyard, the front yard of Viridian Entente's house is rather bare, with only grass and shrubs dotting it. Viridian Entente stands on the sidewalk, looking unhappy. Sheepy is digging a hole to China.
     
    enter Rose and Vanguard
     
    Rose:
    excitedly
    Hey VE! I found you a new best friend! This is Vanguard!
     
    Viridian Entente:
    skeptically
    I remember you.. You were one of those alliances who were on hand to witness my triumph against GPA, weren't you?
     
    Vanguard:
    I... guess you could put it that way. Anyway, I'm just happy to get the change to hang out with you guys! This is so cool!
     
    Viridian Entente:
    Yeah, yeah. Before we start, let's lay out some ground rules. First off, you may call me Viridian Entente, or Grandmaster Beardfist if you like...
     
    ​The three alliances talk for some time, eventually reaching a consensus. Apparently satisfied, Viridian Entente walks back inside its house. Rose walks away down the sidewalk, leaving Vanguard lingering. The alliance smiles to itself, and turns to leave. Suddenly Mensa HQ rise up behind and smashes Vanguard in the head with a club. Vanguard goes down almost immediately, offering no resistance. Mensa HQ smiles and begins to drag Vanguard away.
     
    exit Mensa HQ and Vanguard
     
    End Scene 1
     
    Act 2
    Scene 2 - In front of Rose's house
    Scene: It is late at night, and all the windows in the house are dark, there is no sign of activity. Sheepy is playing a round of mini-golf. Mensa HQ enters, dragging an unconscious Vanguard behind it. Mensa HQ looks up at the darkened windows, and throws a rock against one.
     
    Mensa HQ:
    loudly shouting
    ROSE!
     
    After a minute, a light turns on and a window opens. Rose sticks its head out, looking tired and confused. Mensa HQ holds up Vanguard and indicates with its hand.
     
    Mensa HQ
    loudly
    Look! I beat up Vanguard, your friend! Come fight me!
     
    Rose:
    Wait...... what? You're Mensa, that weird alliance, aren't you?
     
    Mensa HQ
    excitedly
    That's right! And I have a bone to pick with you! And since I beat up Vanguard, under the terms of your friendship, you have to fight me! Now come fight!
     
    Rose:
    Nah.
     
    Rose closes its window and turns out its light. Mensa HQ looks furious and confused.
     
    Mensa HQ
    WAIT! You can't just refuse to fight me! I beat up Vanguard, you have to fight me!
     
    Rose:
    muffled, from within the house
    It's 1 in the morning, come back tomorrow.
     
    Mensa HQ
    infuriated
    SO WHAT?! You can't do this!! What kind of friend are you?
     
    There is no response, and Mensa HQ throws Vanguard to the ground in disgust and begins kicking the alliance.
     
    Mensa HQ:
    Look what I'm doing! I'm beating up Vanguard even more. Come fight me!
     
    There is still no response, and after several minutes Mensa HQ gives up kicking Vanguard.
     
    Mensa HQ
    infuriated
    STOP IGNORING ME! I can't stand it when I'm ignored! Unless I get my attention, I'll do even worse things to Vanguard!
     
    Several more minutes pass. Mensa HQ becomes more and more infuriated.
     
    Mensa HQ
    I get it, you must be sacred of me! Come out and fight! You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna keep track of all the time you don't fight me!
    to itself
    Alright, let's find a good beat for this... nice.
    loudly
    Look at this? I'm marking all the time you're being a bad friend! I guess Vanguard isn't important to you!
     
    There is no response, and Mensa HQ spends the rest of the night marking time and pacing back and forth next to the unconscious body of Vanguard. After many hours, the sun rise, and still Rose hasn't appeared. Mensa HQ is becoming increasing agitated, when suddenly Rose appears. The alliance has duct-taped pillows around it's body in a sort of crude armor. The two alliances stand and face each other.
     
    Rose:
    Nice song.
     
    Mensa HQ:
    Thanks- I mean screw you! I guess you finally worked up the courage to face me! And so many hours late, look at poor little Vanguard. I'm gonna destroy you for what you did to me!
     
    Rose:
    What did I do? Were you that alliance I gave the bl-
     
    Mensa HQ
    So you don't know? Typical, trash alliances like yourself never do! You insulted my mother! And now I'm gonna destroy you!
     
    Rose:
    Did I? Eh, she was probably ugly anyway. I don't think you know who you're messing with! I shall make consume you like my other enemies!
     
    The two alliances advance toward each other, ready to battle. Suddenly Rose stops, and looks behind Mensa HQ.
     
    Rose:
    United Purple Nations? What are you doing on my lawn?
     
    United Purple Nations:
    ​Oh? Hey Rose. I'm just standing here, nothing suspicious about that.
     
    Rose:
    I mean, why my lawn? Couldn't you stand somewhere else?
     
    United Purple Nations:
    Nah, I'm good here. You guys can get on with the fight, I won't do anything.
     
    Rose:
    You sure? I mean, it's a bit odd th-
     
    United Purple Nations
    No, no. Ignore me. I'm just standing right here, well within my rights, not gonna do anything. You two fight.
     
    Mensa HQ
    Yeah! Fight me!
     
    Rose:
    Well, not until I get my battle buddy!
     
    Viridian Entente runs onto the lawn, out of breath.
     
    Virdian Entente:
    Whew..... I'm here.... gimme a minute.
    straightens up and takes a deep breath
    You have made a grave mistake Mensa! I crushed your pathetic existence once, I can easily do it again! You shall fall before the world-encompassing glory that is Virid-
     
    Mensa HQ
    Yeah, can we skip the speech and just fight already?
     
    Guardian and The Syndicate enter, walking along the other side of the road. Viridian Entente turns pale.
     
    Viridian Entente:
    Syndicate....
     
    Rose:
    Move on VE. Move on! Forget about tS! Focus on Mensa!
     
    Viridian Entente lets out a scream and charges, tackling Guardian. Rose tries to jump on The Syndicate, but instead falls flat on its face.
     
    Rose:
    Ow...... Give me a second.
     
    The Syndicate:
    Sorry Rose. 1st rule of business, never allow your opponents to get back up.
     
    The Syndicate begins stomping on Rose. Mensa HQ runs over and tries to pull Viridian Entente off of Guardian, which is being pummeled savagely. United Purple Nations stands laughing.
     
    Viridian Entente:
    insane rage
    This is what you get for leaving me Syndicate! I'll show you what you're missing! You can't walk away from the Entente!
     
    Guardian
    Ow..... stop.... hitting... me..... I'm not..... Syndicate.....not the.....face.....not....the....face
     
    Mensa HQ
    Looks like I get to crush you instead VE! How's defeat taste! Like Dio?
     
    Suddenly Viridian Entente stops beating Guardian. It throws Mensa HQ off and goes stock still, then spontaneously combusts. It runs around screaming before exploding into a thousand pieces which shower the combatants. Mensa HQ, The Syndicate, and Guardian look on in shock.
     
    Rose:
    What's going on? Can I see?
     
    The Syndicate removes its shoe from Rose's face
     
    Rose:
    VE?! What happened? I swear it wasn't my fault this time!
     
    A massive translucent J rises from the center of what used to be Viridian Entente. Suddenly, a beam of light shines down from the heavens, and Sheepy materializes on the street.
     
    Sheepy:
    Looks like we may have a problem.....
     

    End Scene 2
     
    Well, that's the end of this part. Tune in next time for the shocking conclusion!
  3. TheNG
    Hello and welcome back everybody!
    Now that blogs are back up, I can begin posting these things again for you guys.
    With that in mind, this is not the play for this war. Rather it's the play I wrote during and for the last big war, but never got to post because of the rollback and the forum issues. So, it's been complete for a while, and I'll be posting it all pretty rapidly.
    Don't fear, I'm working on one for this war as well, and the 1st part should go up in a couple days. Enjoy everybody!
     
    You say Jump, I say Proxy, A Play
    Written by: TheNG
    Edited by: TheNG
    Starring:
    Viridian Entente as itself
    The Syndicate as itself
    Rose as itself
    Uranicus Socialitas as itself
    Asgard as itself
    Vanguard as itself
    The Dutch East India Company as itself
    Mensa HQ as itself
     
    Act 1
    Scene 1 - Viridian Entente's backyard
    Scene: Viridian Entente’s backyard is expansive and impeccably organized. The lawn is dotted with statues of the alliance in various poses, and is sectioned into various areas, including several victory memorials, a recreation space, and a shrine where others may prostrate themselves before the glory that is VE. Viridian Entente, The Syndicate, and Rose sit on a hammock, while Sheepy sits on a boat.
     
    Viridian Entente:
    So, do you guys want to help me set up a new monument?
     
    The Syndicate:
    Didn’t we just do that yesterday, and the day before? It doesn’t make financial sense to have such extravagant displays, even after such an enormous victory.
     
    Viridian Entente:
    Yesterday was the Garden of sacred Viridia, today it’s my latest statue, The Marshall Glory of the Entente. Completely different you see.
     
    The Syndicate:
    That statue is supposed to be of you, right? Why does it have 3 six-packs? Is that even possible?
     
    Viridian Entente:
    Of course I have three six-packs you idiot! I’m Viridan Entente, such things are normal for the superior being that is me.
     
    Rose:
    innocently
    Can I play with the statue?
     
    Viridian Entente:
    Shut up Rose.
     
    The Syndicate:
    So…. listen VE. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something. Ever since that last fight, you’ve changed…. And not for the better. You’re more short tempered, and we’re always arguing, and you’ve been really unkind to Rose. I feel like you’re not listening to me anymore, and we’ve lost understanding.
     
    Viridian Entente pauses hitting Rose with a wine glass
     
    Viridian Entente:
    Well, your ideas are stupid, and your job isn’t to think, it’s to blindly follow all my commands because I said so.
     
    The Syndicate:
    That’s my point. We never used to be like this. I think we could both use a little… break. How about we each take some time off and the-
     
    Viridian Entente jumps off the hammock angrily, throwing Rose and the Syndicate off as well and on to the ground.
     
    Viridian Entente:
    confused and angrily
    Are you breaking up with me??
     
    The Syndicate:
    I’m not saying that, I just think-
     
    Viridian Entente:
    You know what?! Fine! I don’t need a moron like you slowing me down anyway! Get out of here, and never come back!
     
    The Syndicate:
    What? Why do you have to be such an ass?
     
    Viridian Entente:
    ME? You’re not even a real company! I’ll show you, think you can break up with me. GET OUT!
     
    The Syndicate:
    And you’re just a pathetic alliance hiding in your pretend glory! Wait and see, you’ll miss me, but I won’t miss you. Goodbye VE, and good riddance!
     
    The Syndicate abruptly turns and marches away. Viridian Entente and Rose look on silently, then Viridian Entente stands up and begins running after The Syndicate
     
    Viridian Entente:
    Wait! You can’t do that! You can’t just walk away! I won’t allow it!
     
    The Syndicate:
    Watch me…
     
    The Syndicate exits Viridian Entente’s backyard while Viridan Entente stares on in shock. Rose walks up behind.
     
    Rose:
    This may be a bad time, but where do you keep your sandwiches?
     
    Viridian Entente:
    softly and sadly
    Shut up Rose…..
     
    End Scene 1
     
    Act 1
    Scene 2 - Viridian Entente's basement
    Scene: Viridian Entente’s basement, formerly neat and orderly, is a mess. Furniture is and various objects are strewn about and smashed, and dirty dishes and clothes carpet all surfaces. Viridian Entente sits on a couch in its pajamas watching TV and eating ice cream. A pile of discarded ice cream cartons sits at its feet. Rose stands behind the couch, staring in disapproval.
     
    Rose:
    C’mon VE, I know you’re sad about The Syndicate, but you have to get over it. You’ve been doing nothing but eat ice cream and cry for the past two weeks!
     
    Viridian Entente:
    Shut up Rose! You don’t understand me. Nobody does. I’m fine. tS doesn’t even bother me anymore.
     
    Rose:
    Skeptically
    You sure about that? So you wouldn’t mind if I put away all these framed photos you have ou-
     
    Viridian Entente:
    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
     
    Viridian Entente rolls of the couch and begins sobbing.
     
    Viridian Entente:
    wailing
    Why did Syndicate have to go? I’m so lonely…
     
    Rose:
    I know what will make you feel better! How about I find you a new best friend!
    I’ll be right back!
     
    Viridian Entente:
    But…. wait.
     
    Rose dashes out of the basement excitedly. Viridian Entente opens another carton of ice cream.
     
    End Scene 2
     
    Act 1
    Scene 3 - A park
     
    Scene: The park is mostly empty except for one corner, where Uranicus Socialitas, Asgard, and the Dutch East India Company stand talking. Rose enters and runs over. Sheepy sings the blues on a bench.
     
    Rose:
    excitedly
    Hey US! Do you want to VE’s new best friend?
     
    Uranicus Socialitas
    Oh. Hi Rose. I think I’m alright if it’s all the same to you. Perhaps I could visit VE or something, make it feel better?
     
    Rose:
    Yay!
     
    Rose grabs Uranicus Socialitas in a massive hug.
     
    Uranicus Socialitas
    Uh. Yeah. That’s great Rose. You’re kind of crushing me…
     
    Rose continues to hug Uranicus Socialitas tighter and tighter while the other alliance groans. Suddenly, Uranicus Socialitas’s ribs all snap, and the alliance falls down dead.
    Asgard and The Dutch East India Company look on in horror.
     
    Asgard:
    Shocked
    Rose?! You just killed US!
     
    Rose:
    Oh…. Sorry about that. That means you guys are my friends now!
     
    Asgard:
    I’m not sure that’s how it wor-
     
    The Dutch East India Company:
    I think I’m gonna take a rain check on th-
     
    Rose:
    Come with me friends! We’re gonna make VE happy!
     
    Asgard and The Dutch East India Company back away with horrified looks on their faces. As they leave, Rose looks dejected.
     
    Enter Vanguard
     
    Rose:
    Hey you! You look like a strong young alliance! How about joining up with the two greatest alliances on the planet!
     
    Vangaurd:
    You’re the first alliance who’s ever called me strong. Wow! You want me to hang out with you and VE?!
     
    Rose:
    How’d you know I was talking about VE?
     
    Vanguard:
    Your superiority complexes are famed far and wide!
     
    Rose:
    Uh… That’s nice. Now c’mon! VE is gonna be so happy I found a new friend! Yippee!
     
    Rose skips out of the park, dragging Vanguard behind. As they leave, a shadowy alliance rises from behind some bushes.
     
    Mensa HQ:
    Sinister
    Interesting. Very interesting. Time to have some fun….
     
    End Act 1
     
    Well, there we are. Act 1 complete, and I bet many of you know where we're going. Part 2 will be up shortly!
  4. TheNG
    Well, it has been a little while since I put one of these out, and for that I apologize. Nevertheless, here is the final part (for this war at least), I hope you guys enjoy it.
    A Man, A Plan, Ayyy Lmao, A Play
    Written by: TheNG
    Edited by: TheNG
    Starring:
    Guardian as itself
    Seven Kingdoms
    Viridan Entente as itself
    The Syndicate as itself
    World Wrestling Federation as itself
    Mensa HQ as itself
    Rose as itself
    Cornerstone as itself
    Vanguard as itself
    United Purple Nations as itself
    Terminus Est as itself
    Brotherhood of the Clouds as itself
    The Dutch East India Company as itself
    And introducing Black Knights, who will be playing itself
     
    Act 2
    Scene 2 - United Purple Nation's backyard
    Scene - United Purple Nations and Brotherhood of the Clouds sit on a hammock strung between two trees while Sheepy dances in the rain. Brotherhood of the Clouds eats a piece of pizza while the two alliances chat.
     
    United Purple Nations
    ...no, DEIC is still in the hospital. Apparently some got lodged in the lung- hang on, I've got a call.
     
    Brotherhood of the Clouds
    Who is it?
     
    United Purple Nations
    The Syndicate... Why would they call me?
    *answers the call*
    Hey, this is UPN, what can I do for you?
    *pause*
    Yeah
    *pause*
    Uh-huh. VE, and a bunch of you guys.
    *pause*
    Guardian and those idiots? Wh-
    *pause*
    Yeah I'd like to make 'em remember not to mess with us. Right now?
    *pause*
    Alright, I'll think about it, give us a minute.
    *hangs up*
     
    Brotherhood of the Clouds
    What was that about?
     
    United Purple Nations
    Apparently VE and its little flock are having some trouble. They want our help. It's Guardian, SK, and some weirdo named Mensa H-
     
    The blood drains out of Brotherhood of the Cloud's face, and it drops the pizza slice suddenly. United Purple Nations looks disturbed.
     
    Brotherhood of the Clouds
    *quietly, hesitantly*
    Did... you say Mensa HQ?
     
    United Purple Nations
    Yeah, apparently Guardian found a new groupie or something.
     
    Brotherhood of the Clouds begin rocking back and forth and cackling evilly. United Purple Nations looks more concerned
     
    United Purple Nations
    Um... you OK?
     
    Brotherhood of the Clouds
    *sinister*
    At last..... My old nemesis. I've finally got you!
     
    United Purple Nations
    What?!
     
    Brotherhood of the Clouds begins shaking and laughing more intensely
     
    Brotherhood of the Clouds
    *rapidly and excitedly*
    Ever since I first met Mensa, so many months ago I have longed to destroy them, watch them beg and see their disgusting fake genius collapse!
     
    United Purple Nations
    That's kind of messed up dude. Listen, just forget about that. We're gonna get even with Guardian and SK.
     
    Brotherhood of the Clouds ignores this and dashes out of the yard twitching and screaming "MENSA" over and over again at the top of its lungs. United Purple Nations looks on then begins to slowly follow.
     
    United Purple Nations
    Why am I the only sane alliance around here?
     
    exit Brotherhood of the Clouds and United Purple Nations
     
    End Scene 2
     
    Act 2
    Scene 3 - A Semi-Busy Street
    Scene - The fighting which has rocked this particular area is finally beginning to die down. Seven Kingdoms chants along with Terminus Est while being struck with various objects. Guardian is buried beneath Rose, Viridian Entente, Vanguard, and the Syndicate. Only Mensa HQ still stands, battling World Wrestling Federation, Cornerstone, and Black Knights.
     
    Mensa HQ
    You idiots done yet? Perhaps you have realized that dimwits cannot hope to compete with Genius! Abandon this foolish battle now, before I decide I am done playing! As I'm new here, I don't know how you primitives fight, but this is pathetic!
     
    Cornerstone
    ​Stop telling us you're new here! We get it!
     
    enter United Purple Nations and Brotherhood of the Clouds
     
    Brotherhood of the Clouds
    I get to kill Mensa! I get to kill Mensa!
     
    Mensa HQ
    You! Another lamb to the slaughter! And this one stupider than most!
     
    Brotherhood of the Clouds
    WHAT?! How dare you insult me like that! I should've destroyed you long ago for what you did to me!
     
    Mensa HQ
    What I did to you? You spied on me! I should've destroyed you!
     
    Brotherhood of the Clouds
    You idiot! Repeat that slander again, and I shall pulverize you!
     
    Mensa HQ
    Me! An IDIOT?! That is a big word for a braindead rock such as yourself!
     
    Brotherhood of the Clouds
    RAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!
     
    Mensa HQ
    WWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!
     
    Mensa HQ and Brotherhood of the Clouds circle each other, then charge. They collide, but Mensa HQ gets the better of Brotherhood of the Clouds, throwing the alliance to the ground
     
    Mensa HQ
    *triumphantly*
    Haha! Looks like genius triumphs over this sava- uh.
     
    United Purple Nations towers over Mensa HQ
     
    United Purple Nations
    Hi.
     
    Mensa HQ takes a wild swing at United Purple Nations screaming. United Purple Nations swiftly catches the fist, and examines it almost curiously. Mensa HQ stares in shock.
     
    Mensa HQ
    uh.
     
    United Purple Nations grabs Mensa HQ and slams its back down onto its knee. There is an audible snap. United Purple Nations then drops the alliance to the ground, pulls out a pillow, and presses it over Mensa HQ's head
     
    Mensa HQ
    *muffled*
    mmmm. MMM! mmmm!
     
    United Purple Nations
    *soothingly*
    Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh............ This will all be over soon....
     
    Viridian Entente
    Wait UPN. I have a better idea.
     
    End Scene 3
     
    Act 2
    Scene 4 - A Semi-Busy Street
    Scene - United Purple Nations, Brotherhood of the Clouds, Viridian Entente, World Wrestling Federation, The Syndicate, Rose, Black Knights, Cornerstone, Terminus Est, and Vanguard stand in a circle around Guardian, Seven Kingdoms, and Mensa HQ who lie on the ground. Sheepy pretends he is a shrub.
     
    Viridian Entente
    I'm telling you guys, this is a great idea!
    *loudly*
    Alright guys, you can leave, but first you have to give me all your money!
     
    Guardian
    *weakly*
    You monster.... This breaks our most sacred of laws. You cannot.
     
    Viridian Entente
    I may be a monster, but I'll be a rich monster that nobody knows is a monster! So yeah, I can live with that. What do you guys think?
     
    Terminus Est
    I require no worldly compensation, unless you possess skulls. For a construction project I'm doing, you see.
     
    Viridian Entente
    A throne?
     
    Terminus Est
    Why does everybody always assume it's a throne? Nevertheless, my work here is done.
     
    Vanguard
    Well, I'm actually late for a very important event, I'll be going.
     
    Vangaurd dashes off, Terminus Est vanishes into a warp portal
     
    Mensa HQ
    *weakly*
    You know, I am new here, so I don't know how you guys operate, but this seems kind of excessive.
     
    Cornerstone
    WE GET IT! You're new here! That isn't an excuse for everything!
     
    Mensa HQ
    You'd be surprised.... But fine, I'll give you money.
     
    Mensa HQ pulls a wad of money out of its pocket. Cornerstone and Black Knights drag it away
     
    exit Black Knights, Mensa HQ, and Cornerstone
     
    Viridian Entente
    So, you two going to give me my money? We could keep beating you up!
     
    Guardian
    Martyrdom looks good on Twitter.
     
    Viridian Entente
    Alright everybody. The hard way it is, form a line, 10 minutes of beating, then let the next alliance go.
     
    Guardian
    ehh... how about half my money?
     
    Viridian Entente
    Alright, fine. Just get out of my sight!
     
    Guardian pulls out $5, then staggers away
     
    Viridian Entente
    Alright SK. Your turn.
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Hah. Hit me all you like scum. TEst has done wonders, my chakras are in line and I've transcended pain. You'll never receive an cent.
     
    Viridian Entente
    Yeah, we'll see about that. Rose! Start hitting! Syndicate! Find me a big stick!
     
    Two hours pass, and Seven Kingdoms simply lies on the ground, calmly receiving blows
     
    Viridian Entente
    *wheezing*
    Alright..... Leave..... Before I.... really decide to...... start hitting....
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Enlightenment feels quite good.
     
    Seven Kingdoms stands up and calmly walks away. United Purple Nations escorts a grumbling Brotherhood of the Clouds away while Rose wanders into the road and gets hit by a car. Viridian Entente, The Syndicate, and World Wrestling Federation fall to the ground
     
    Viridian Entente
    ​You know, I would call that a success. Annoying pests squashed, and I am still universally beloved. Isn't that right?
     
    The Syndicate
    Sometimes in business, controversy can serve as a catalyst to spur market devel-
     
    Viridian Entente
    I really hate you right now, did you know that?
     
    enter the Dutch East India Company
     
    The Dutch East India Company
    Alright guys, I'm here! The finally let me out of the- what the [email protected]#$ happened here?
     
    Viridian Entente
    A glorious victory, my dear serf. Now, go inform the world I have won war number 1,256. It is truly a momentous event.
     
    The Dutch East India Company
    I thought you were at war 562?
     
    Viridian Entente
    Yeah, but this one was special. I got paid for it. I wonder, can I make this a job?
     
    The Syndicate
    A true capitalist profession req-
     
    Virdian Entente
    ​Shut up, you're ruining my ambiance.

    End Act 2
     
    Alright everybody, that is that. Another one down, and I'm sure the twists and turns were a surprise to all of us (except Inst, nothing gets past that dude). Hope you enjoyed this, and I suppose now I'll wait until someone pulls the trigger next.
  5. TheNG
    Alright, here we go, part 2. Thanks for all the positive feedback for the first part, always happy to see people enjoying these, and I shall continue writing them. Now, lets go....
     
    A Man, A Plan, Ayyy Lmao, A Play
    Written by: TheNG
    Edited by: TheNG
    Starring:
    Guardian as itself
    Seven Kingdoms
    Viridan Entente as itself
    The Syndicate as itself
    World Wrestling Federation as itself
    Mensa HQ as itself
    Rose as itself
    Cornerstone as itself
    Terradoxia as itself
    Vanguard as itself
    United Purple Nations as itself
    Terminus Est as itself
    And introducing Black Knights, who will be playing itself
     
    Act 2
    Scene 1 - A Semi-Busy Street
    Scene - The street, while still occasionally crossed by pedestrians and vehicles, has become a battleground. The bushes side has had much of its shrubbery beaten down or torn up by the fighting alliances, who's struggles even spill onto the sidewalks. Sheepy walks along a rainbow far above while Guardian and Seven Kingdoms struggle with Viridian Entente. The Syndicate and Rose look on while Mensa HQ picks up World Wrestling Federation and throws it into the ground.
     
    Guardian
    Hahaha! I love it when my plan comes together! How does Honor feel VE?
     
    Seven Kingdoms stares in amazement
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    How can you still take credit for this- you know what? Never mind. I'll be happy when VE ends up like GPA
     
    Viridian Entente
    Enjoy this while it lasts boys, it won't be much longer now.
     
    A black SUV with a unicorn painted on the side and tinted windows pulls up to the curb. Black Knights, Cornerstone, and Terradoxia step out
     
    Viridian Entente
    ​At last..... Not to imply that I needed the help, of course.
     
    Viridian Entente pushes Guardian and Seven Kingdoms away and stands next to the three new arrivals while The Syndicate and Rose stand behind. The sounds of combat between Mensa HQ and World Wrestling Federation echoes in the background
     
    Black Knights
    Looks like its time for another ride! And you're about to be trampled!
     
    Cornerstone
    I get to apply what I learned from that monk dude in DaVinci code!
     
    Terradoxia
    My very existence as a horrific amalgamation is an affront to life itself. Luckily, I can steal your essence, and we'll be all set.
     
    Viridian Entente grins broadly, an expression which reveals its utmost confidence, then motions at Guardian and Seven Kingdoms
     
    Viridian Entente
    *loudly*
    GET THE-
     
    Guardian
    NOW WAIT JUST A MINUTE!!
     
    ​Viridian Entente pauses, and all the alliances stare curiously at Guardian
     
    Guardian
    How hypocritical is this? You accuse us of treachery, we who saved the world from the Neutral Menace, and yet you fight alongside a cheater!
     
    Viridian Entente
    Wait... what? There are no cheaters here.
     
    Guardian
    Hah! So naive.
     
    Guardian pulls out a massive bundle of paper held together by a cord and tosses it to Viridian Entente
     
    Guardian
    Look at that! As you can see by my 8 page summary beginning on page 456, and all the preceding analysis and spreadsheets on the previous pages, Terradoxia's finances don't add up! Look at all that unaccounted money! Terradoxia is cheating!
     
    Terradoxia
    What?! I'm not a cheater!
     
    Viridian Entente begins to leaf through the papers
     
    Viridian Entente
    I dunno Terradoxia, some of this stuff seems to make a little-
     
    Terradoxia
    *incredulous and angry*
    ​What? You can't seriously believe Guardian! They're trying to break us apart! Sow dissent! What are you going to do anyway, send me away? Let me fight!
     
    Viridian Entente
    Well, of course we can't be associated with any cheating. And I wouldn't dare to ask such a valued ally to leave,
    *brightly*
    I'm just saying, you must be tired right? Look, there's even a nice bench right over there! Why don't you just sit down and rest for a little while and we can talk about this later!
     
    Terradoxia walks away sobbing. Viridian Entente straightens up, and looks angrily toward Guardian, who smiles smugly
     
    Virdian Entente
    You may have pulled out those documents and gotten rid of Terradoxia, but the rest of us won't be split off so easily!
    Viridian Entente indicates Black Knights and Cornerstone
    Go help WWF finish off that freak! We'll handle these two!
     
    Black Knights
    Looks like somebody is going to need disability insurance soon!
     
    Cornerstone
    Just another heretic to be purified!
     
    Black Knights and Cornerstone dash off and confront Mensa HQ, who is slamming World Wrestling Federation's head into the ground and yelling
     
    Mensa HQ
    You call this a battle?
    *head slam*
    I may be new here, but I thought you were supposed to actually hurt me!
    *head slam*
    I'm making money off this!
    *head slam*
    I didn't know I was a raiding alliance!
    *head slam*
    What finisher do you call this?
     
    Mensa HQ slams World Wrestling Federation into the ground one last time, and eagerly grabs the money that falls out of its pockets. Black Knights charges into the fray
     
    Black Knights
    *Loudly and energetically*
    AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY LM-
     
    Mensa HQ slams a fist into Black Knight's head, knocking the alliances back
     
    Mensa HQ
    ​I'm new here, so I always like making new friends!
    *menacingly*
    We'll have such fun!
     
    Cornerstone drop-kicks Mensa HQ, sending the alliance sprawling. Black Knights and World Wrestling Federation both struggle to their feet and join the fight.
    Nearby, Viridian Entente squares of with Guardian and Seven Kingdoms. Seven Kingdoms pulls back its arm in preparation for charging, and strikes Vanguard, who is walking along the sidewalk. The blow sends Vanguard sprawling
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Oh! My bad, sorry dude. Want some help?
     
    Vanguard rises, with blood in its eyes
     
    Vanguard
    *quietly*
    You struck me...
    *loud and enraged*
    UNNACEPTABLE!!!
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Listen, it was an accident. I'm sorry!
     
    Vanguard launches a furious volley of blows against Seven Kingdoms, who staggers back. Guardian looks on in shock. Viridian Entente smiles and then turns angrily toward The Syndicate and Rose, who stand watching silently
     
    Viridian Entente
    *annoyed*
    If you two idiots are done watching, attack now while they're distracted!
     
    Rose
    What are we doing again?
     
    The Syndicate
    ​In a proper business environment, sometimes things simply cannot be rushed. Sloppy and hurried preparations often are reflected in the substandard results they produce. I need more time to conduct proper analyses, and develop an actionable plan in this chaotic and unfriendly climate. Many times, in pursuit of overall profit, or a similar goal, we overl-
     
    Viridian Entente
    Shut up already! Rose, attack!
     
    Rose
    You want me to inflict bodily harm?
     
    Viridian Entente
    *exasperated*
    YES!
     
    Rose
    Did you know what when you hit a skull against a frying pan, it sounds very similar to a drum? Food for thought.
     
    Rose strides into battle, colliding with Guardian. The Syndicate makes no move to follow, while Viridian Entente glances over to Mensa HQ, who throws Cornerstone into Black Knights
     
    Viridian Entente
    Syndicate, you either get in there, or I... Wait, who is that?
     
    A new alliance silently and confidently strides up behind the battling Seven Kingdoms and Vanguard. It lightly touches Vanguard on the shoulder, and the alliance turns aroung angrily, before staring in awe. The mysterious alliance makes a motion with its hand, and Vanguard silently dashes off to join Rose in attacking Guardian. Seven Kingdoms stares at the retreating Vanguard in confusion, then looks at the alliance which stands in front to it. Viridian Entente and The Syndicate watch closely.
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    *quietly*
    TEst? What are you doing here? I though you were at that yoga retreat, are you here to help us?
     
    Terminus Est
    I was SK, but as I meditated, I sensed a great disturbance. You are deeply unbalanced, and it is my duty to correct this. I am going to realign your chakras.
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    ​This doesn't seems very violent or psychopathic TEst. You have changed! But I'm curious, how do you realign someone's chakras?
     
    Terminus Est deals Seven Kingdoms a vicious blow to the head that sends the alliance sprawling to the ground. Terminus Est bends over the fallen Seven Kingdoms and pulls out a hammer
     
    Terminus Est
    *matter of factly*
    It is going to hurt. A lot.
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    *slowly and painfully*
    That sounds like...... the TEst I know.... Why..... the hammer?
     
    Terminus Est
    It is merely required for the first step in the process.
     
    Terminus Est swings and batters Seven Kingdoms, while Guardian falters under the combined might of Rose and Vanguard. Viridian Entente grins, then is spooked when World Wrestling Federation falls at its feet, then dashes back into battle. Viridian Entente stares as Mensa HQ screams wildly and hits Cornerstone with a captured cross, then gets hit a folding chair wielded by Black Knights
     
    Viridan Entente
    *to itself*
    ​That thing is more resilient then it looks.
     
    The Syndicate
    I believe I am prepared. Economic theory shall smite my foes.
     
    Viridian Entente
    Wait a second. Before you join in, make another call. It looks like our puppets might need a little help.
     
    Viridian Entente charges into battle against Guardian and Seven Kingdoms, who are succumbing to the combined assault of Vanguard, Rose, and Terminus Est
    ​The Syndicate punches in a number onto its phone, and holds it up to its ear as the alliance on the other end picks up.
     
    United Purple Nations
    Hey, this is UPN. What can I do for you?
     
    End Scene 1
     
    And that's all for now folks. The battle lines have been drawn, and the fighting has begun. The rest of Act 2 will be going up soon enough, I hope you guys enjoyed this entry!
  6. TheNG
    Well, as we've just had another war, I am apparently contractually obligated to make another one of these. It is a little late, so my apologies, and I thought I'd post it here, so to avoid getting lost in some thread somewhere, plus give this blog a little more reason for existence. Can you tell I'm running out of titles? We need a name for this war so I can make fun of it.
    For those of you unfamiliar with the alliances and situations present in TheNG's historically accurate theatrical universe, I recommend reading over my two previous works, the first of which is also on this blog, and the second or which I should get around to putting on here.
    Anyway, without further ado....
     
    A Man, A Plan, Ayyy Lmao, A Play
    Written by: TheNG
    Edited by: TheNG
    Starring:
    Guardian as itself
    Seven Kingdoms
    Viridan Entente as itself
    The Syndicate as itself
    World Wrestling Federation as itself
    Mensa HQ as itself
    Rose as itself
    The Dutch East India Company as itself
    Act 1
    Scene 1 - A small park near a major road.
    Scene: Sheepy pushes a child down the slide, while other children run around the equipment. Guardian and Seven Kingdoms swing around on a swing set.
     
     
    Guardian
    You know, I'm still angry.
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    What now? Is it the guy at the supermarket again? I'm telling you, they don-
     
    Guardian
    No, not that. I'm still mad VE got all the credit for taking down GPA. We saved the world, and no one knows. I've had 100% less contact with approving fangirls than I can tolerate.
     
    Seven Kingdoms rolls eyes
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Well, technically, DEIC and UPN stole the credit from us, then VE stole the credit from them.
     
    Guardian
    Shut up! Listen, I'm gonna go teach VE a lesson! You want to participate in my glorious triumph?
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    ​I really should stop agreeing to this, but fine. How about this time I come up with the plan. Your's often leave a lot to be desired.
     
    Guardian
    WHAT?! Slander! Take it back!
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Well, uhh...
     
    Guardian
    *sweetly*
    Take it back and I'll let you plan the war!
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Fine, fine. You're a tactical genius.
     
    Guardian smiles smugly
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Alright, VE has quite the posse, so we're going to need some assistance. Preferably big and stupid, maybe bloodthirsty as well. To absorb the hits.
     
    Guardian
    I know, we can call Terminus Est and Rose! They'll help us! Get the gang back together!
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Well, TEst is at that yoga retreat, and we haven't talked much to Rose ever since it got put in the special needs section. I guess we can try.
     
    Guardian
    How about Dutch East India Company? They're kind of cool.
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Alright, I can ask them. You call Rose.
     
    Seven Kingdoms pulls out its phone and calls The Dutch East India Company, while Guardian calls Rose
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    So, how about it? VE stole all our thunder, you in?
     
    The Dutch East India Company
    *via phone speaker*
    I'd love to help you guys, but I can't make it. I've in the emergency room right now. Turns out you can sniff to much cumin. Who knew? Anyway, if they let me out soon, I'll drop by.
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Alright, thanks. Bye.
     
    Seven Kingdoms ends the call, and Guardian does the same on its phone.
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    So, how did it go with Rose?
     
    Guardian
    Rose said it come over and help us. They'll be here soon!
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Alright, that makes one. We're probably going to need some more help. Lets walk around a little, see if we can find someone.
     
    End Scene 1
     
    Act 1
    Scene 2 - A Semi-Busy Street
     
    Scene: The street is lined on one side with buildings, and on the other with bushes. Cars pass down the road occasionally, and alliances appear and walk down to sidewalk at a similar rate. Sheepy plays a saxophone for donations. Guardian and Seven Kingdoms sit down on a bench, and talk to passers-by. Eventually a disheveled alliance in a dirty coat with a flag draped around it approaches.
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Let's ask that one.
    *loudly*
    Excuse me! You there, do you have a minute?
     
    The alliance turns around excitedly and dashed over excitedly. It grabs Seven Kingdom's hand firmly and begins shaking very rapidly. The alliance practically shakes with energy, and Seven Kingdoms looks uncomfortable. Sand falls from the sleeves of the alliance.
     
    Mensa HQ
    *rapidly and excitedly"
    HI! Always a pleasure to meet another alliance. My name is Mensa HQ and I'm a genius! I'm also new here. Have you heard about our lord and savior Dio? Really cool guy!
     
    Seven Kingdoms manages to free its hand and slowly backs up
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Uhh.... Hi..... Um, so Mensa HQ, pleasure to meet you. I'm Seven Kingdoms, and this is Guardian.
     
    Guardian waves. Mensa HQ strides over and begins shaking Guardian's hand very firmly as well
     
    Mensa HQ
    *eagerly and rapidly*
    I'm so excited! I'm so happy to meet to you guys, no one wants to talk to me here, but now we're best friends!
     
    Guardian
    *anxiously*
    How many coffees did you drink this morning? Am I right?
     
    Mensa HQ
    *eagerly and rapidly*
    It's not coffee, the doctors say I have hyperactivity! It's where you're always on, focused and ready to do stuff! It's why I'm so smart!
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Umm, alright. Anyway, Mensa, we're looking to right a wrong and take down a new tyrant, you want to help?
     
    Mensa HQ
    ​Sure! Where I come from I'm always fighting! It's how I got these scars!
     
    Mensa HQ indicates the bulbous growths on its face.
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Are you sure those are scars? Anyway, glad to have you onboard. Once Rose shows up, we'll be all set. We'll defeat VE, get our fame back, and then go out for victory snacks!
     
    Guardian
    None of us have any money.
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Eh, after we take VE down, we can shake Rose down for some change. Rose always has quarters stuck in the weirdest places. It'll be no problem.
     
    Mensa HQ
    I like Ice Cream!
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Hm.. I should plan this stuff more often. This is going great! Now nothing is going to stop us.
     
    Viridian Entente, The Syndicate, and World Wrestling Federation rise from behind a bush
     
    Viridian Entente
    *nastily*
    Well well well. If it isn't Guardian and Seven Kingdoms! Plotting to take me down are you? And with such trash alliances too. Where did you find that thing, the homeless church?
    ​This is even more pathetic than your last "coalition"! Maybe you should learn that you can't outsmart Viridian Entente!
     
    The Syndicate and World Wrestling Federation chuckle. Seven Kingdoms, Guardian, and Mensa HQ look on in shock
     
    Guardian
    YOU!
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    What?! But how did you find out? Nobody knew, our security was perfect!
     
    Viridian Entente
    *triumphantly*
    Hahah! Looks like you have a leak! Pick your associates more closely next time fool!
     
    Seven Kingdoms clenches its fist and looks at the sky in rage
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    *angrily and loudly*
    RAGNAR!!
     
    Viridian Entente
    *confused*
    Actually.... it was Guardian. They posted it all over social media.
     
    Seven Kingdoms and Mensa HQ look at Guardian, who takes a selfie, then puts its phone away
     
    Guardian
    ​What? I had to build up some media hype for the big takedown. You know, get our story out, build up some buzz, so when we do win we'll be known as the guys who took down GPA!
     
    ​Seven Kingdoms facepalms
     
    Seven Kigndoms
    AUUGH! EVERY... TIME....
     
    Guardian
    Ohh, we're trending!
     
    enter Rose
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Oh! Rose, you're here! Help us take down VE!
     
    Viridian Entente
    Not so fast!
     
    Viridian Entente strides over to Rose and stands beside it
     
    Viridian Entente
    Guess who found out you guys were going to take its money after you were done? Rose right here. Rose is on my side now, is there anything you would like to say?
     
    Rose
    When do I get to have teatime with the cat?
     
    Viridian Entente
    Umm... Anyway. Looks like the tables have turned!
    *To The Syndicate and World Wrestling Federation*
    Let's make this quick. I've got a photoshoot all lined up for winning another war! I must be in the 500s by now...
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    You may have tricked Rose, but we're still going to crush you. GET THEM!
     
    Mensa HQ
    I'm new to this, but I can still kill things! I love it here!
     
    Guardian and Seven Kingdoms let out screams and tackle Viridian Entente. Mensa HQ bellows an inhuman war cry and jumps on World Wrestling Federation. The two alliances roll away punching each other. The Syndicate stands away from the fighting, watching calmly, while Rose looks on confusedly, then falls over
     
    Viridian Entente
    *In between punches*
    Syndicate! Come...... Over here.... and help me..... you fool!
     
    The Syndicate
    ​I'm still analyzing the risk and reward benefits of this. Capitalism is a complicated system, these things take time.
     
    Viridian Entente
    GAAAAAH
     
    Guardian
    Your crushed skull will look great with a filter!
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    You may have found us out, but that won't stop this beatdown! Fool THIS!
     
    Viridian Entente manages to throw off Guardian and Seven Kingdoms and runs around chased by the two alliances
     
    Viridian Entente
    If you won't help Syndicate, then at least call in our backup!
    *To itself*
    This slaughter is just beginning.....
     
    End Act 1
     
    There we go, the first epic first act of an epic business venture. The second act will be up shortly, exclusive to here only. Tell a friend, or don't, but thanks to all who read this, hopefully you guys like it.
     
     
     

  7. TheNG
    Well, thanks word limit. Now I have to divide this into three parts.
     
     
    Act 2
    Scene 2 - A parking lot behind the Orbis Wal-Mart
    Scene: The lot is entirely abandoned, with the exception of Sheepy, who is making a furtive sacrifice to the blood god in an empty refrigerator box. Clouds blanket the sky, and a brisk wind sends plastic bags flying around.
     
    enter Guardian, Rose, Seven Kingdoms, and Terminus Est
     
    Guardian
    *excitedly*
    Alright, our mortal foes shall be here soon! We need to prepare an ambush. Rose, hide behind the shopping cart. SK, behind the light pole. I'll be back here, behind all this donation bin.
     
    Terminus Est
    What about me?
     
    Guardian
    Since you are the weakest link, stand right here in the middle and serve as our bait. Look pathetic, though it shouldn't be too hard.
     
    Terminus Est
    Its hard to look weak when I once disemboweled a guy just so I could get his souvenir keychain. It had my name on it, you see.
     
    Rose
    *excitedly*
    Can I play with the intestines?
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    *exasperatedly*
    Rose, TEst is making that up. Its never disemboweled anyone.
     
    Guardian
    All of you, shut up! Now TEst, stand there or I'll break your other kneecap! Everyone else, get into position, I think I hear them!
     
    Guardian, Rose, and Seven Kingdoms move into their hiding places. Terminus Est hobbles into position in the middle of the lot
     
    enter United Purple Nations, The Dutch East India Company, and Brotherhood of the Clouds, discussing the differences between lemonade and limeade.
     
    The Dutch East India Company
    Well I'm telling you, limes are really much be-
    *with surprise*
    Well well well, if it isn't our old friend Terminus Est. What are you doing here?
     
    Terminus Est
    I'm here to inflict severe bodily harm, of course.
     
    United Purple
    Yeah, how you gonna do that? By shooting yourself again? How is that leg by the way?
     
    Terminus Est
    I only need one to kick your ass.
     
    Brotherhood of the Clouds
    So where are your loser posse TEst? They run scared, like last time?
     
    Guardian
    Right here!
     
    ​Guardian, Rose, and Seven Kingdoms spring out of hiding, surrounding The Dutch East India Company, United Purple Nations, and Brotherhood of the Clouds.
     
    Guardian
    *eagerly*
    Now whose at a disadvantage? Heheh, you fell right into my clever trap!
     
    Brotherhood of the Clouds
    Clever? You must admit this trap is rather rudimentary. Anyone could really come up with it.
     
    Guardian
    What?! My genius is unparalleled! Do you think idiots like Seven Kingdoms could come up with something of this caliber?
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Yeah, I could. This was pretty simple.
     
    Guardian
    *angrily*
    Shut up! The point is, you've fallen into my trap. Prepare to get crushed for all eternity!
     
    The Dutch East India Company
    You know, why do you hate us so much?
     
    Guardian
    A long history of tyranny going back to when we los- suffered an minor and temporary setback this afternoon!
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    *with brutal honesty*
    We were bored and looking for some fun. Rose wanted to play on the slide.
     
    Brotherhood of the Clouds
    That is pretty sad.
     
    Guardian
    I'll let SK's treason slide because you'll never get to leave and tell anyone! ATTACK!
     
    Mysterious Voice
    Not so fast!
     
    A bag of trash splits in half and Empire of Spades steps out
     
    Empire of Spades
    I can't let you do that Guardian. Like I said before, UPN owes me $5. $5 which I intend to collect.
     
    Guardian
    *huaghtily*
    Yeah? Well, I guess you'll just have to do that after we're done.
     
    United Purple Nations
    EOS, you're alive? Rose said that it ate you!
     
    Empire of Spades hangs its head in frustration
     
    Empire of Spades
    And all you guys believed Rose? Since when has Rose done anything that would lead you to believe it could actually eat me?
     
    The Dutch East India Company
    I dunno, it just sounded like something Rose would do.
     
    Rose
    I can eat you if I want. Spades are just like stickers and rocks, very chewy.
     
    Empire of Spades
    That is really messed up. Have you ever gotten Rose checked out?
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    The doctor says its permanent.
     
    Empire of Spades
    Shame. Anyway, if you won't let me at UPN, I'll go through you first!
     
    Guardian
    I knew I was right to not let you join our party! Sick EOS, allies!
     
    Rose and Seven Kingdoms run at Empire of Spades, who nimbly dodges away and charges Guardian. Empire of Spades pulls out a knife and is about to stab Guardian when Ignis Immortales appears from nowhere and launches itself at Empire of Spades.
     
    Guardian
    What?
     
    Empire of Spades
    What the-
     
    Instead of shredding Guardian, Empire of Spade's blade cuts deep into Ignis Immortales. Ignis Immotales falls to the ground, bleeding, while Guardian bends over it. All the other alliances stand still.
     
    Gaurdian
    *confused and angry*
    Ignis, why did you do that, you idiot! I had everything under control!
     
    Ingnis Immortales
    *weakly*
    Because...... I love you.... Guardian...... I...... just...... wanted to.... help.... I'm glad...I saved... you...
     
    Guardian
    Well, I'm not glad you moron! At least you could've taken down EOS before you got stabbed! And where are the missiles I sent you to buy?! Thanks for being completely useless!
     
    Ignis Immortales
    *weakly*
    You're....not...happy?....But....I.......
     
    Ignis Immortale's head rolls back, and its eyes close for the final time
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    *accusatorially to Empire of Spades*
    You killed Ignis!
     
    Empire of Spades
    Eh, whatever. Its not like Ignis really matters.
     
    Guardian
    Yeah, fair point.
     
    A shot rings out, and Empire of Spades collapses to the ground. United Purple Nations lowers its weapon
     
    United Purple Nations
    Sorry EOS, but I need that $5. You should've stayed dead.
     
    ​The Dutch East India Company and Brotherhood of the Clouds pull out guns and the three turn to face Guardian, Rose, Terminus Est, and Seven Kingdoms
     
    The Dutch East India Company
    Lets polish off these idiots for real, then get out of here. I say this takes 2 minutes tops.
     
    Brotherhood of the Clouds
    You're on!
     
    Brotherhood of the Clouds and The Dutch East India Company fist bump
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Not today! For too long have we been oppressed by cruel and callous alliances. Now, we end that threat! For Ignis Immortales!
     
    Guardian
    *whispers*
    Not for Ignis, thats embarrassing...
     
    The Dutch East India Company
    *sarcastically*
    Nice role-play, how long did it take you to come up with that!
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Less than it'll take to finish you off! Ahhhhhh!
     
    Seven Kingdoms and Rose charge, followed by Guardian. Terminus Est hobbles as fast as it can behind them. Dutch East India Company, United Purple Nations, and Brotherhood of the Clouds charge as well, and the two groups meet in the middle of the parking lot in a frenzy of shots and fisticuffs.
     
    Terminus Est
    I may be slow, but I'm still crazy! Take this.
     
    Terminus Est fires two shots. One manages to curve into its uninjured knee, and Terminus Est collapses. The other bullet slams into Seven Kingdoms, who takes another step and then falls to the ground, dead.
     
    Guardian
    Noooooooooo! Seven Kingdoms!
     
    Rose barrels into The Dutch East India Company and Brotherhood of the Clouds, sending them both flying. It then begins to pummel UPN.
    ​Guardian charges The Dutch East India Company and tries to to keep the alliance down with punches and kicks.
     
    Guardian
    That was for Seven Kingdoms! And that was for my obsessive compulsive hatred of you! And that was for my mother! And that was for world peace! And that was-
     
    Brothehood of the Clouds calmly walks up behind Guardian and stabs it with Empire of Spade's knife. Fueled by obsessive hatred, Guardian turns around and tears the knife out from its back and swings wildly at Brotherhood of the Clouds. Brotherhood of the Clouds and The Dutch East India Company back away and watch as Guardian staggers around until it collapses.
     
    The Dutch East India Company
    Where's The Almighty when you need him now?
     
    Brotherhood of the Clouds
    Nice line.
     
    The Dutch East India Company
    Thanks, it was really only natural for such an all-around amazing alliance like myself. Lets go finish off Rose.
     
    Rose picks up United Purple Nations, and throws the alliance across the lot, but United Purple Nations lands on its feet. Rose begins singing tribal chants.
     
    United Purple Nations
    *creeped out*
    Man, why did I have to fight Rose? Oh well, lets cut this rose's stem!
     
    United Purple Nations picks up its gun and prepares to fire when Rose suddenly breaks and runs away.
     
    United Purple Nations
    What!?
     
    ​Rose yells that it must preserve the line of kings and disappears around the corner of the store. The Dutch East India Company and Brotherhood of the Clouds join United Purple Nations
     
    United Purple Nations
    Rose got away.
     
    Brotherhood of the Clouds
    Oh well, we still won conclusively, as was expected. How much time, by the way?
     
    The Dutch East India Company
    1 minute 43 seconds, looks like I win.
     
    Brotherhood of the Clouds
    Rats!
     
    The three alliances turn to Terminus Est, who is laying on the ground, looking terrified.
     
    The Dutch East India Company
    What do you want to do with TEst.
     
    United Purple Nations
    We're merciful, more than these guys would've ever been. Lets leave this one alone.
     
    Brotherhood of the Clouds
    Alright!
     
    As the three alliances take one last look at Terminus Est, Brotherhood of the Clouds suddenly gives out a cry and collapses, a katana in its back. The Dutch East India Company and United Purple Nations turn around in shock and horror to see a familiar alliance standing in the lot.
     
    Green Protection Agency
    Hello my fellows.
     
    United Purple Nations
    *shocked*
    What did you do?
     
    Green Protection Agency
    I was simply securing my rule over this world. I thank you for eliminating so much of the competition, but I'm afraid your usefulness is at its end. Goodbye.
     
    United Purple Nations
    If you think we're going to let some dirty neutral rule this place, you're sadly mistaken!
     
    The Dutch East India Company
    Lets show this hippie how us blocs do things around here!
     
    The Dutch East India Company and United Purple Nations hold up their hands and begin to glow. When the glow fades, a single alliance stands in their place. The two alliances have merged.
     
    United Company of East Indies Nations
    Didn't expect that, did you!
    This one is for Brotherhood!
     
    United Company of East Indies Nations takes a thundering step forward and tries to crush Green Protection Agency. However Green Protection Agency simply dodges the massive alliance and flicks its hand, sending United Company of East Indies Nations flying into a wall, where it dissolves into its two constituent alliances, who do not move.
     
    Green Protection Agency
    Well that was.. unimpressive. All these warlike alliances are fools anyway. Killing and maiming themselves while I take over behind the scenes. If only they knew their pathetic little plots and petty rivalries were utterly meaningless. If they had united, they might have stood a chance.
     
    Green Protection Agency stares around at the devastation, its eyes alighting on Terminus Est
     
    Terminus Est
    *nervously*
    We're cool, right?
     
    Green Protection Agency
    Sorry, no blood-drinking cultists my new world. Insane relics like yourself deserve only to cease existing.
     
    Green Protection Agency flicks its hand again, and Terminus Est spontaneously combusts, melting into a pool of bile and ill-thought out forum posts
     
    Green Protection Agency
    Well, I suppose that it is time to begin ruling my new domain. It has been a blast everyone...
     
    Green Protection Agency turns and begins to walk out of the parking lot, away from the fallen alliances, giving no further thought to the foes which it had vanquished, and only to the future. Suddenly, an alliance becomes relevant and materializes next to Green Protection Agency.
     
    The Supreme Gentlemen
    Heeeey GPA, loved the final speech. Very classy. I always knew that you would win, I'm pretty good at picking winners. Say, you need any help running this place? I could be very helpful!
     
    ​Green Protection Agency
    I'm sorry, who are you?
     
    The Supreme Gentlemen
    *frustrated*
    FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
     
    End
  8. TheNG
    Hello everybody! As I'm sure you all know who I am, at least a little bit, so I'll skip the introductions. I'd like for this blog to be a place where you guys can occasionally see my thoughts, perhaps a different perspective from the standard. (Or perhaps not....) In addition, I'd like to feature some content that it is hard to have on the main forums, with that in mind, (and at the request of several) I'm going to be posting my plays in their full here, so they're easier to read without scrolling through pages of forums. For those who know Pre is too biased, here is my 100% factual history of the Marionette War, from the view of all your favorite alliances! (I unfortunately had to split it into three parts, but at least you don't have to dig through [email protected]#$posts)
     
    The (Insert Name Here) War, A Play
    Written by: TheNG
    Edited by: TheNG
    Starring:
    Rose as itself
    Guardian as itself
    Seven Kingdoms as itself
    Terminus Est as itself
    Brotherhood of the Clouds as itself
    The Dutch East India Company as itself
    United Purple Nations as itself
     
    Act 1
    Scene 1 - A small park near a major road.
    Scene: Children are playing on playground equipment, and Sheepy lounges on a lawn chair being fed grapes.
     
    Enter Guardian, Rose, Terminus Est, and Seven Kingdoms
     
    Guardian
    You know, its been a long time since we had some fun
    There isn't much to do when you're secretly allied to nearly all major alliances
     
    Rose
    We could, uh, play on the slide?
     
    Guardian
    Ugh, Rose, that is the stupidest thing you've said all day. What are we, two years old?
     
    Rose wails and begins to smash its head against a tree
     
    Guardian
    Oh fer- ROSE! STOP IT! I'm sorry I said you're stupid! Listen, we'll play on the slide with you, OK?
     
    Rose backs away from the tree and grins lopsidedly
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    You know, Guardian, you can call Rose childish, but we are all kind of young, I just turned one year old actually.
     
    Guardian
    ​Shut up SK. You know that I can't stand to be proven wrong...
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    But all I said was-
     
    Guardian grabs Seven Kingdoms by the throat and pins it against a tree. Terminus Est and Rose look on
     
    Guardian
    *low, deadly whisper*
    I said SHUT UP! Do you want to be shitposted!? Do you want to end up like SI?
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    *In between choking noises*
    No... I don't... want to.. be..
     
    Guardian lets go of Seven Kingdoms and straightens its fedora
     
    Guardian
    Well, choking SK gave me a great idea, lets go beat up and bully those innocent children.
     
    Rose
    But what about the slide?
     
    Guardian gives Rose an evil look, under which Rose quails. Terminus Est grins and pulls out a large, worn club
     
    Terminus Est
    I like senseless, reasonless violence! Little kids can't be all that different from seals, right?
     
    Guardian
    I like your thinking, TEst!
     
    Enter Brotherhood of the Clouds, United Purple Nations, and The Dutch East India Company, chatting amiably but inaudibly
     
    Guardian grins evily
     
    Guardian
    Actually, I have an even better idea.
    I've just remembered that UPN had way more friends than me back in third grade.
    While UPN was cool and popular, I was a lurker, a nobody.
    Lets go beat them up instead!
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    So this is how you express your deep childhood trauma.
     
    Terminus Est
    If there is one thing I learned while in prison, its that with other alliances, you have to provoke them first to make us look like the good guys.
     
    Guardian
    But aren't we always the good guys?
    Uh, anyway, I guess we can do it TEst's way.
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    I can pretend to be their friend to lull them off guard!
     
    Guardian
    Good plan SK!
    Alright everybody, pop your collars and lets go crush these losers!
     
    Guardian and Seven Kingdoms advance confidently toward United Purple Nations, Brotherhood of the Clouds, and The Dutch East India Company. Terminus Est lags behind them, pulling along a confused looking Rose
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Hey guys, hows it going?
     
    United Purple Nations, The Dutch East India Company, and Brotherhood of the Clouds look over
     
    United Purple Nations
    Uh, hello?
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Hey bros, have you seen this new guy, New Shr-
     
    Guardian
    *interjects*
    You're stupid DEIC!!! HAHAHAHAA
    And you, Brotherhood, where'd you get those clothes? The lame shoe store?
     
    Brotherhood of the Clouds
    Uh...
     
    United Purple Nations
    You want something, Guardian?
     
    Seven Kingdoms and Terminus Est pull Guardian aside
     
    Terminus Est
    *whispers*
    This isn't how you do it Guardian, you're supposed to be subtle.
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    *whispers*
    Since when are any of you guys subtle? Let me handle this.
     
    Guardian
    *shouts*
    Screw subtlety, I'm gonna murder 'em!
     
    ​United Purple Nations, Brotherhood of the Clouds, and The Dutch East India Company look at Guardian in surprise
     
    Terminus Est
    Haha! Feel the wrath of my-
     
    Terminus Est pulls a gun out of its pocket and tries to shoot United Purple Nations, but sends the bullet into its own left kneecap instead.
    Rose passes out from fear and collapses to the ground
     
    Guardian
    Oh come on! Beat them up you idiots!
     
    The Dutch East India Company, Brotherhood of the Clouds, and United Purple Nations stare in confused shock as Guardian grabs an unconscious Rose, fear shining in its eyes.
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    *Wimper*
    We should probably go...
     
    Guardian
    Seven Kingdoms, grab TEst!
     
    Guardian retreats, carrying Rose. Seven Kingdoms follows quickly, dragging TEst, who is bleeding badly from its left knee and shouting expletives.
     
    Guardian
    This isn't over! I'll be back!
     
    Exit Guardian, Seven Kingdoms, Terminus Est, and Rose
     
    United Purple Nations and The Dutch East India Company
    What was that?
     
    Brotherhood of the Clouds
    I have no idea....
     
    End of Scene 1
     
    Act 1
    Scene 2 - The basement of Guardian's house
    Scene: The basement is messy, covered in dirty clothes, Market Manipulator's Monthly magazines, and piles of unsent hate mail to The Dutch East India Company. Two large posters of a kangaroo and a sneezing cat hang on the walls, next to a dartboard with an image of The Covenant printed on it. Sheepy stands in the corner, covering his ears as a group of people yell at him about planes and ships.
     
    Enter Guardian, Rose, Terminus Est, and Seven Kingdoms
     
    Guardian
    *angrily*
    You guys are worthless! I had them all on the ropes when you losers had to mess everything up!
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    You had it under control?
     
    Guardian
    *continues angrily*
    Sometimes I don't even know why I let you incompetent fools hang out with me!
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Because we're the only alliances who can stand you, and you have no other friends?
     
    Guardian force chokes Seven Kingdoms
     
    Guardian
    What have I told you telling the truth when it makes me look like the terrible alliance I am?
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    *resignedly, between choking noises*
    Not to do it...
     
    Guardian
    *Condescendingly*
    Excellent....
     
    Guardian releases Seven Kingdoms
     
    Guardian
    Alright SK, this was just the first round! We may have suffered slightly due to unforeseen... uh... weather.... but we need to get back at them!
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    I'm pretty sure it was entirely your fault, but whatever. Anyway, do we have to get back at them? We were supposed to be doing something fun, and this is a lot of work.
     
    Guardian
    Well, before my inane rage was merely my way of expressing my deep-seated psychopathic tendencies, and the fear of anything which is better than me. Nowthey've made it personal!
    And go wake up Rose, that idiot is still passed out!
     
    Terminus Est
    *weakly*
    I'm still crippled and bleeding over here.....
     
    Guardian
    Of yeah SK, fix up TEst while you're at it.
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Why do I have to do everything?
     
    Guardian
    Because I'm the smartest one around here, and I need my brainpower to think of a good plan that you morons can't mess up.
     
    Seven Kingdoms, grumbling, bandages Terminus Est's shattered kneecap. Rose suddenly wakes up
     
    Rose
    Did I do the good thing? Did I beat up the mean alliances?
     
    Guardian
    I hate you Rose.
     
    Seven Kingdoms pulls Guardian aside, while Rose begins to play with a doll and a dead squirrel. Terminus Est awkwardly crawls onto Guardian's bed and begins picking its remaining teeth with a butter knife.
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    *whisper*
    Listen, if we really want to hurt BoC, DEIC, and UPN, we might need some help.
    I mean, all TEst can do now is provide weird "moral" support, and I don't know if Rose is really all here sometimes.
     
    Rose lights the squirrel carcass on fire and begins to run around the basement, singing about sandwich ponies and reforming neutrals.
     
    Guardian
    *whisper*
    Nonsense, Rose is a perfectly normal alliance, everything it does is very rational and reasonable.
     
    Rose runs into a pole, and collapses backwards like a sac of dumb bricks
     
    Guardian
    *whisper*
    And TEst has the highest tolerance for pain and intelligent comments I've ever seen, it'll be perfectly fine in a coup-
    Wait, what is TEst doing?
     
    Terminus Est has begun to foam at the mouth and thrash wildly, sightlessly glaring with bloodshot eyes, as it screams like a dying goat
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    *whisper*
    Oh, TEst must be having another one of its alpha flashbacks, it gets them every so often.
     
    Guardian
    *freaked out whisper*
    That's kind of creepy. Why did I never know about this?
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    *whisper*
    Because you are always too busy being a jerk to really care about any of us.
     
    Guardian
    *whisper*
    Good point.
    *louder*
    Alright, I've got a plan, SK, you track down any other alliances who might want to help us.
    I'll take Rose and go spy on our enemies.
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Why do we need to spy on them? We know who they are and where they live, heck, you even have UPN on speed dial.
     
    Guardian
    Don't question my true and utter genius SK, you just get us some backup, and calm down TEst.
    *shouts*
    Rose, come with me!
     
    Exit Rose and Guardian
     
    Seven Kingdoms pulls out a large stick while TEst flops off the bed and thrashes around on the floor, wailing.
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Alright, TEst, time for your medicine...
     
    End of Scene 2
     
    Act 1
    Scene 3 - Outside United Purple Nation's Treehouse
    Scene: The treehouse nestles low in a money tree. The Dutch East India Company, Brotherhood of the Clouds, and United Purple Nations sit within it.
    Guardian and Rose hide in a bush on the sidewalk 20 ft. away. Sheepy stands in the middle of the street, burning a multi at the stake.
     
    United Purple Nations
    Man, that was really weird.
     
    Brotherhood of the Clouds
    You said it, but honestly though, what do you expect from those rejects?
     
    The Dutch East India Company
    No kidding, have you heard how Rose was dropped on its head when it was born?
     
    Rose
    *excitedly*
    Hey, thats my name!
     
    Guardian
    *loud whisper*
    Shut Up!
     
    Brotherhood of the Clouds
    And I heard that Seven Kingdoms has never even read Game of Thrones, just the wiki article!
     
    United Purple Nations, The Dutch East India Company, Rose, and Guardian gasp
     
    The Dutch East India Company
    Did you hear something?
     
    United Purple Nations
    Uh, I don't think so.
    Anyway, do one of you guys have a spare button-down. This one has TEst's kneecap blood all over it.
     
    Brotherhood of the Clouds passes United Purple Nations a shirt, which United Purple Nations puts on.
     
    Guardian
    Wow, UPN has really great abs...
     
    Rose
    Are you jealous?
     
    Guardian
    Completely and utterly, but-
    Wait, did you say something intelligent Rose?
     
    Rose
    I tried to ride an aquarium pebble once, but then my mom hit me on the spleen with a large green toad .
     
    Guardian
    Hm, it must've just been my imagination.
     
    Brotherhood of the Clouds
    Just out of curiosity, when were you going to tell me that those guys don't like us?
     
    The Dutch East India Company and United Purple Nations exchange glances.
     
    The Dutch East India Company
    *nervously*
    Uh, totally..... of course.... We didn't tell you already?
     
    United Purple Nations
    *nervously*
    Uh, must've slipped our minds. I'm so busy being popular, you know. Are you sure we didn't tell you?
     
    Brotherhood of the Clouds
    Yeah, pretty sure.
     
    The Dutch East India Company
    Anyway, what do you want to do with the afternoon?
     
    United Purple Nations
    We could get temporary tattoos and cruise around town in my convertible.
     
    ​The Dutch East India Company and Brotherhood of the Clouds
    Sounds like a plan!
     
    Guardian looks at Rose, who is licking a bud that it picked off the bush.
     
    Guardian
    *sadly*
    ​I wish I had friends like that...
    *with increasing confidence in order to convince itself*
    ​Anyway, this was a highly successful espionage mission. It has only served to reinforce my preexisting notions that these fools are weak and divided. They will fall easily to my great and glorious might. Nothing will sta-
     
    Rose inhales the bud, starts choking, and falls out from behind the bush. The Dutch East India Company, United Purple Nations, and Brothehood of the Clouds look down in surprise.
     
    ​The Dutch East India Company
    Is that Rose?
     
    Guardian rises out from behind the bush
     
    Guardian
    *loudly and shrilly*
    I take no responsibility for my own actions or of those who blindly follow me!
     
    Guardian takes off running down the street with Rose in tow. United Purple Nations, The Dutch East India Company, and Brotherhood of the Clouds look on in shock
     
    Exit Guardian and Rose
     
    United Purple Nations
    Why are paperless alliances such weirdos?
     
    The Dutch East India Company
    *sagely*
    Probably because they carry the most baggage from other places.
     
    The Dutch East India Company, United Purple Nations, and Brotherhood of the Clouds break out laughing
     
    End of Act 1
     
    Holy Hell, this thing is longer than I thought. Breaking up into 2 parts.
  9. TheNG
    Act 2
    Scene 1 - The backyard of Guardian's home.
    Scene: The backyard is verdant, covered in grass and shrubs. Seven Kingdoms sits at a table writing Lord of the Rings fan fiction while a small group of alliances mill around, making small talk. Sheepy walks among them, giving out blessings.
     
    Enter Guardian and Rose
     
    Guardian walks over and sits down besides Seven Kingdoms. Rose eagerly watches a caterpillar eat a leaf.
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    How did the spying go?
     
    Guardian
    ​*haughtily*
    Excellent, as with all my endeavors of course.
    So, are these all the alliances which wanted to help?
    You know, I thought there'd be more.
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Well, it turns out that we are all incredibly unpopular, so I was only able to get a few to come over here.
    We can ask them a few questions to see whether they are a good fit.
     
    Guardian
    Do we have to? I mean, I still think we can do everything on our own, its not like UPN, DEIC, and BoC are better than us in every way.
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Well, they really are, look what happened last time.
     
    Guardian begins to cry
     
    Guardian
    Why do you constantly have to destroy my fragile and pathetic self-esteem SK?
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Listen, lets just talk to some of these guys first, OK?
     
    Guardian dries its eyes
     
    Guardian
    Fine, but then we go crush them and fulfill the natural order.
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    *paternally*
    Of course Guardian, I wouldn't have it any other way.
    *shouts*
    Form a line guys!
    First alliance step forward!
     
    A small, short alliance steps forward. Although it strongly resembles Seven Kingdoms, it manages to be even less impressive
     
    Guardian
    What's your name?
     
    Ordo Draconum
    I'm Ordo Draconum sir!
     
    Guardian
    Do I know you?
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    He's my little brother
     
    Guardian
    Man, you guys are both ugly
     
    Seven Kingdoms and Ordo Draconum
    Hey!
     
    Guardian
    What, I'm just being honest.
    Anyway, I'll pass on you Ordo.
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    But why? We need the help.
     
    Guardian
    You're just kind of small Ordo, I mean even BoC could stomp on you!
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Since when do you care about others personal safety?
     
    Guardian
    Normally I don't care about others at all, but there are slightly more impressive alliances in line.
    Next!
     
    Seven Kingdoms whispers to Ordo Draconum, who walks away dejectedly. The next alliance, a ragged and dirty creature, steps forward.
     
    Exit Ordo Draconum
     
    Guardian
    Alright, what is your name?
     
    INTL Anarchist Communist Front
    My name is INTL Anarchist Communist Front.
     
    Guardian
    *whisper to Seven Kingdoms*
    This guy seems like a commie. You know how we hate these guys.
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    *whisper*
    Trust me,it isn't, it may seem a little weird, but it could be useful.
     
    INTL Anarchist Communist Front
    You know, I can hear everything you are saying, and I'm not a commie. I'm an anarchist.
     
    Guardian
    Oh, spying are we, you despicable monster! Leave my sight at once you filthy commie!
     
    INTL Anarchist Communist Front
    I'm telling you, I'm not a communist, I'm an anarchist!
     
    Guardian
    I don't care! I don't like you anyway, and if I don't like you, you rapidly become an unhealthy obsession for me for weeks and weeks, building up to a massive all-powerful strike! Now get out before I kill you!
     
    INTL Anarchist Communist Front
    You can't kill anything! Thats why I'm here right now!
     
    Guardian lets out a strangled scream and lunges for INTL Anarchist Communist Front. Seven Kingdoms struggles to hold Guardian back and frantically motions for INTL Anarchist Communist Front to leave.
     
    exit INTL Anarchist Communist Front
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Guardian, calm down!
     
    Guardian
    *screaming loudly*
    After I smash my other enemies, you'll be next! FEAR ME!
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Uh, next! Next!
     
    A third alliance steps forward while Seven Kingdoms manages to push Guardian back into its seat.
     
    Guardian
    *attempting to calm down*
    Your name?
     
    Empire of Spades
    C'mon, you guys don't remember me?
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    EOS? I thought you were dead?
    Rose said he ate you...
     
    Empire of Spades
    Hah, that idiot couldn't kill me if it tried.
    Nah, I was just hiding out, and now I'm back to kick some ass!
     
    Guardian
    ​But you're friends with DEIC, UPN, and BoC. Why do you want to help us?
     
    Empire of Spades
    Because I'm bored, and you guys are so pathetic, its funny. Plus, I have a blood feud with UPN, it owes me $5.
     
    Guardian
    We're pathetic?! You're pathetic! And I'll prove that we're not pathetic! We don't need your help at all! I'll beat them all without you!
     
    Empire of Spades
    Eh, whatever guys, I can always fight you. Have fun getting beat.
     
    Empire of Spades pulls out a cigar and walks away humming, while Guardian stares angrily and Seven Kingdoms hangs its head.
     
    exit Empire of Spades
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    *exasperatedly*
    Come on Guardian, we have to get someone to help us! Some of those alliances could've been useful. You've got to stop driving people away.
     
    Guardian
    I've been driving people away all my short, miserable life! Why stop now! Anyway, all these alliances were terrible. Where is good help when you need it?
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    We are the good help (which is saying something I suppose.) Ugh, oh well. Next!
     
    An tall, handsome, and impressive alliance steps forward. It exudes confidence and competence. The mouths of Guardian and Seven Kingdoms hang open
     
    Guardian
    Can I please be your friend?
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    No pick me! Please! I want to have a normal alliance for a friend!
     
    Mysterious Alliance
    I heard you guys needed some help, well I can provide.
     
    Guardian
    *excitedly*
    Yes, yes you can help us! What is your name?
     
    Mysterious Alliance
    My name is Imperial Cavalry of Exorbitance, you can call me ICE for short.
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Have I heard of you before?
     
    Imperial Cavalry of Exorbitance
    Well, you may have heard of some of my members. Aamir, Morgan Fr-
     
    Seven Kingdoms, Guardian, and Rose let out terrified screams
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    *terrfied*
    MONSTER!!!!
     
    Guardian
    *terrified*
    A FRASER ALLIANCE!! KILL IT!!!
     
    Rose
    *terrified*
    What did I do to deserve this?
     
    Imperial Cavalry of Exorbitance
    *pleading*
    No, please! Give me a chance! I've changed!
     
    Rose, Guardian, and Seven Kingdoms run around the yard, screaming. Imperial Cavalry of Exorbitance hangs its head and walks away
     
    Guardian
    *terrfied breathing*
    A Fraser alliance, we were feet away from a Fraser alliance!
    How did this happen?!
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    This place is tainted! Did that thing touch anyone?
     
    Guardian, Rose, and Seven Kingdoms stand still, struggling to regain their breath and control
     
    Guardian
    Alright, that must never happen again!
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    *nervously*
    Listen, I had no idea when I called it over. It just seemed normal!
     
    Guardian
    This must never happen again, here me! Never!
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Alright, lets just put that behind us, and finish up here.
     
    Guardian and Seven Kingdoms sit down. The final alliance steps up, and Guardian starts in surprise.
     
    Guardian
    No, no, no, no, no, no! Not II, not II!
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    *whispers*
    Listen Guardian, I know II can be odd, but it likes you. You can't buy that loyalty!
     
    Ignis Immortales
    *bubbly*
    Hey Guardian, how are you doing?
     
    Guardian
    *nervously*
    Uh, hi II
     
    Ignis Immortales
    I heard you guys needed help, and I really want to!
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Sure you can!
     
    Guardian
    No you can't! You always follow me around II, its really creepy, and thats saying something, coming from me!
     
    Ignis Immotales
    Love me Guardian!!
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Of course you can help!
    *angrily to Guardian*
    II can help us!
     
    Guardian thinks hard for a minute, then speaks
     
    Guardian
    Sure you can help us II. Why don't you go and buy us some missiles?
     
    Ignis Immortales
    *happily*
    Yay! I won't fail you guys!
     
    exit Ignis Immortales
     
    Guardian
    Heheh, that gets II out of the way. Now we can go and roll DEIC, UPN, and BoC.
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Great! That was the last alliance Guardian, now we don't have any extra help! That was what we were supposed to be doing!
     
    Guardian
    You're panicking SK, we don't need any help! I can take them all myself, without your stupid ideas. Grab TEst, and lets go!
     
    Seven Kingdoms hangs its head. Suddenly, an alliance becomes relevant, materializing into existence.
     
    Supreme Gentlemen
    Hey guys!
     
    Guardian
    Who are you?
     
    Supreme Gentlemen
    Come on guys, don't you know me?
     
    Guardian and Seven Kingdoms
    No.
     
    Supreme Gentlemen
    Really, you've never heard of me or what I do?
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Do you do anything?
     
    Supreme Gentlemen
    ​Augh, why does nobody know what I do?
     
    Guardian
    Maybe because you're not important?
     
    Supreme Gentlemen
    You know what, screw you guys. I'll find someone who cares.
     
    Supreme Gentlemen becomes irrelevant again, and dematerializes
     
    Guardian
    What was that?
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    I have no idea...
     
    Guardian
    Anyway..... Lets go defeat our opponents! The final showdown!
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    There really isn't a way I can convince you to wait?
     
    Guardian
    Nope.
    Grab TEst and Rose, and lets go!
     
    Seven Kingdoms
    Oh well, I wrote my will anyway. Lets go.
    Come on Rose..
     
    Rose
    Yay, I like this party!
     
    exit Rose, Seven Kingdoms and Guardian
     
    End of Scene 2
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