Play #1 pt. 3
Entry posted by TheNG ·
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Well, thanks word limit. Now I have to divide this into three parts.
Act 2
Scene 2 - A parking lot behind the Orbis Wal-Mart
Scene: The lot is entirely abandoned, with the exception of Sheepy, who is making a furtive sacrifice to the blood god in an empty refrigerator box. Clouds blanket the sky, and a brisk wind sends plastic bags flying around.
enter Guardian, Rose, Seven Kingdoms, and Terminus Est
Guardian
*excitedly*
Alright, our mortal foes shall be here soon! We need to prepare an ambush. Rose, hide behind the shopping cart. SK, behind the light pole. I'll be back here, behind all this donation bin.
Terminus Est
What about me?
Guardian
Since you are the weakest link, stand right here in the middle and serve as our bait. Look pathetic, though it shouldn't be too hard.
Terminus Est
Its hard to look weak when I once disemboweled a guy just so I could get his souvenir keychain. It had my name on it, you see.
Rose
*excitedly*
Can I play with the intestines?
Seven Kingdoms
*exasperatedly*
Rose, TEst is making that up. Its never disemboweled anyone.
Guardian
All of you, shut up! Now TEst, stand there or I'll break your other kneecap! Everyone else, get into position, I think I hear them!
Guardian, Rose, and Seven Kingdoms move into their hiding places. Terminus Est hobbles into position in the middle of the lot
enter United Purple Nations, The Dutch East India Company, and Brotherhood of the Clouds, discussing the differences between lemonade and limeade.
The Dutch East India Company
Well I'm telling you, limes are really much be-
*with surprise*
Well well well, if it isn't our old friend Terminus Est. What are you doing here?
Terminus Est
I'm here to inflict severe bodily harm, of course.
United Purple
Yeah, how you gonna do that? By shooting yourself again? How is that leg by the way?
Terminus Est
I only need one to kick your ass.
Brotherhood of the Clouds
So where are your loser posse TEst? They run scared, like last time?
Guardian
Right here!
​Guardian, Rose, and Seven Kingdoms spring out of hiding, surrounding The Dutch East India Company, United Purple Nations, and Brotherhood of the Clouds.
Guardian
*eagerly*
Now whose at a disadvantage? Heheh, you fell right into my clever trap!
Brotherhood of the Clouds
Clever? You must admit this trap is rather rudimentary. Anyone could really come up with it.
Guardian
What?! My genius is unparalleled! Do you think idiots like Seven Kingdoms could come up with something of this caliber?
Seven Kingdoms
Yeah, I could. This was pretty simple.
Guardian
*angrily*
Shut up! The point is, you've fallen into my trap. Prepare to get crushed for all eternity!
The Dutch East India Company
You know, why do you hate us so much?
Guardian
A long history of tyranny going back to when we los- suffered an minor and temporary setback this afternoon!
Seven Kingdoms
*with brutal honesty*
We were bored and looking for some fun. Rose wanted to play on the slide.
Brotherhood of the Clouds
That is pretty sad.
Guardian
I'll let SK's treason slide because you'll never get to leave and tell anyone! ATTACK!
Mysterious Voice
Not so fast!
A bag of trash splits in half and Empire of Spades steps out
Empire of Spades
I can't let you do that Guardian. Like I said before, UPN owes me $5. $5 which I intend to collect.
Guardian
*huaghtily*
Yeah? Well, I guess you'll just have to do that after we're done.
United Purple Nations
EOS, you're alive? Rose said that it ate you!
Empire of Spades hangs its head in frustration
Empire of Spades
And all you guys believed Rose? Since when has Rose done anything that would lead you to believe it could actually eat me?
The Dutch East India Company
I dunno, it just sounded like something Rose would do.
Rose
I can eat you if I want. Spades are just like stickers and rocks, very chewy.
Empire of Spades
That is really messed up. Have you ever gotten Rose checked out?
Seven Kingdoms
The doctor says its permanent.
Empire of Spades
Shame. Anyway, if you won't let me at UPN, I'll go through you first!
Guardian
I knew I was right to not let you join our party! Sick EOS, allies!
Rose and Seven Kingdoms run at Empire of Spades, who nimbly dodges away and charges Guardian. Empire of Spades pulls out a knife and is about to stab Guardian when Ignis Immortales appears from nowhere and launches itself at Empire of Spades.
Guardian
What?
Empire of Spades
What the-
Instead of shredding Guardian, Empire of Spade's blade cuts deep into Ignis Immortales. Ignis Immotales falls to the ground, bleeding, while Guardian bends over it. All the other alliances stand still.
Gaurdian
*confused and angry*
Ignis, why did you do that, you idiot! I had everything under control!
Ingnis Immortales
*weakly*
Because...... I love you.... Guardian...... I...... just...... wanted to.... help.... I'm glad...I saved... you...
Guardian
Well, I'm not glad you moron! At least you could've taken down EOS before you got stabbed! And where are the missiles I sent you to buy?! Thanks for being completely useless!
Ignis Immortales
*weakly*
You're....not...happy?....But....I.......
Ignis Immortale's head rolls back, and its eyes close for the final time
Seven Kingdoms
*accusatorially to Empire of Spades*
You killed Ignis!
Empire of Spades
Eh, whatever. Its not like Ignis really matters.
Guardian
Yeah, fair point.
A shot rings out, and Empire of Spades collapses to the ground. United Purple Nations lowers its weapon
United Purple Nations
Sorry EOS, but I need that $5. You should've stayed dead.
​The Dutch East India Company and Brotherhood of the Clouds pull out guns and the three turn to face Guardian, Rose, Terminus Est, and Seven Kingdoms
The Dutch East India Company
Lets polish off these idiots for real, then get out of here. I say this takes 2 minutes tops.
Brotherhood of the Clouds
You're on!
Brotherhood of the Clouds and The Dutch East India Company fist bump
Seven Kingdoms
Not today! For too long have we been oppressed by cruel and callous alliances. Now, we end that threat! For Ignis Immortales!
Guardian
*whispers*
Not for Ignis, thats embarrassing...
The Dutch East India Company
*sarcastically*
Nice role-play, how long did it take you to come up with that!
Seven Kingdoms
Less than it'll take to finish you off! Ahhhhhh!
Seven Kingdoms and Rose charge, followed by Guardian. Terminus Est hobbles as fast as it can behind them. Dutch East India Company, United Purple Nations, and Brotherhood of the Clouds charge as well, and the two groups meet in the middle of the parking lot in a frenzy of shots and fisticuffs.
Terminus Est
I may be slow, but I'm still crazy! Take this.
Terminus Est fires two shots. One manages to curve into its uninjured knee, and Terminus Est collapses. The other bullet slams into Seven Kingdoms, who takes another step and then falls to the ground, dead.
Guardian
Noooooooooo! Seven Kingdoms!
Rose barrels into The Dutch East India Company and Brotherhood of the Clouds, sending them both flying. It then begins to pummel UPN.
​Guardian charges The Dutch East India Company and tries to to keep the alliance down with punches and kicks.
Guardian
That was for Seven Kingdoms! And that was for my obsessive compulsive hatred of you! And that was for my mother! And that was for world peace! And that was-
Brothehood of the Clouds calmly walks up behind Guardian and stabs it with Empire of Spade's knife. Fueled by obsessive hatred, Guardian turns around and tears the knife out from its back and swings wildly at Brotherhood of the Clouds. Brotherhood of the Clouds and The Dutch East India Company back away and watch as Guardian staggers around until it collapses.
The Dutch East India Company
Where's The Almighty when you need him now?
Brotherhood of the Clouds
Nice line.
The Dutch East India Company
Thanks, it was really only natural for such an all-around amazing alliance like myself. Lets go finish off Rose.
Rose picks up United Purple Nations, and throws the alliance across the lot, but United Purple Nations lands on its feet. Rose begins singing tribal chants.
United Purple Nations
*creeped out*
Man, why did I have to fight Rose? Oh well, lets cut this rose's stem!
United Purple Nations picks up its gun and prepares to fire when Rose suddenly breaks and runs away.
United Purple Nations
What!?
​Rose yells that it must preserve the line of kings and disappears around the corner of the store. The Dutch East India Company and Brotherhood of the Clouds join United Purple Nations
United Purple Nations
Rose got away.
Brotherhood of the Clouds
Oh well, we still won conclusively, as was expected. How much time, by the way?
The Dutch East India Company
1 minute 43 seconds, looks like I win.
Brotherhood of the Clouds
Rats!
The three alliances turn to Terminus Est, who is laying on the ground, looking terrified.
The Dutch East India Company
What do you want to do with TEst.
United Purple Nations
We're merciful, more than these guys would've ever been. Lets leave this one alone.
Brotherhood of the Clouds
Alright!
As the three alliances take one last look at Terminus Est, Brotherhood of the Clouds suddenly gives out a cry and collapses, a katana in its back. The Dutch East India Company and United Purple Nations turn around in shock and horror to see a familiar alliance standing in the lot.
Green Protection Agency
Hello my fellows.
United Purple Nations
*shocked*
What did you do?
Green Protection Agency
I was simply securing my rule over this world. I thank you for eliminating so much of the competition, but I'm afraid your usefulness is at its end. Goodbye.
United Purple Nations
If you think we're going to let some dirty neutral rule this place, you're sadly mistaken!
The Dutch East India Company
Lets show this hippie how us blocs do things around here!
The Dutch East India Company and United Purple Nations hold up their hands and begin to glow. When the glow fades, a single alliance stands in their place. The two alliances have merged.
United Company of East Indies Nations
Didn't expect that, did you!
This one is for Brotherhood!
United Company of East Indies Nations takes a thundering step forward and tries to crush Green Protection Agency. However Green Protection Agency simply dodges the massive alliance and flicks its hand, sending United Company of East Indies Nations flying into a wall, where it dissolves into its two constituent alliances, who do not move.
Green Protection Agency
Well that was.. unimpressive. All these warlike alliances are fools anyway. Killing and maiming themselves while I take over behind the scenes. If only they knew their pathetic little plots and petty rivalries were utterly meaningless. If they had united, they might have stood a chance.
Green Protection Agency stares around at the devastation, its eyes alighting on Terminus Est
Terminus Est
*nervously*
We're cool, right?
Green Protection Agency
Sorry, no blood-drinking cultists my new world. Insane relics like yourself deserve only to cease existing.
Green Protection Agency flicks its hand again, and Terminus Est spontaneously combusts, melting into a pool of bile and ill-thought out forum posts
Green Protection Agency
Well, I suppose that it is time to begin ruling my new domain. It has been a blast everyone...
Green Protection Agency turns and begins to walk out of the parking lot, away from the fallen alliances, giving no further thought to the foes which it had vanquished, and only to the future. Suddenly, an alliance becomes relevant and materializes next to Green Protection Agency.
The Supreme Gentlemen
Heeeey GPA, loved the final speech. Very classy. I always knew that you would win, I'm pretty good at picking winners. Say, you need any help running this place? I could be very helpful!
​Green Protection Agency
I'm sorry, who are you?
The Supreme Gentlemen
*frustrated*
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
End
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