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A Man, A Plan, Ayyy Lmao, A Play - Pt. 3


TheNG

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Well, it has been a little while since I put one of these out, and for that I apologize. Nevertheless, here is the final part (for this war at least), I hope you guys enjoy it.

A Man, A Plan, Ayyy Lmao, A Play

Written by: TheNG

Edited by: TheNG

Starring:

Guardian as itself

Seven Kingdoms

Viridan Entente as itself

The Syndicate as itself

World Wrestling Federation as itself

Mensa HQ as itself

Rose as itself

Cornerstone as itself

Vanguard as itself

United Purple Nations as itself

Terminus Est as itself

Brotherhood of the Clouds as itself

The Dutch East India Company as itself

And introducing Black Knights, who will be playing itself

 

Act 2

Scene 2 - United Purple Nation's backyard

Scene - United Purple Nations and Brotherhood of the Clouds sit on a hammock strung between two trees while Sheepy dances in the rain. Brotherhood of the Clouds eats a piece of pizza while the two alliances chat.

 

United Purple Nations

...no, DEIC is still in the hospital. Apparently some got lodged in the lung- hang on, I've got a call.

 

Brotherhood of the Clouds

Who is it?

 

United Purple Nations

The Syndicate... Why would they call me?

*answers the call*

Hey, this is UPN, what can I do for you?

*pause*

Yeah

*pause*

Uh-huh. VE, and a bunch of you guys.

*pause*

Guardian and those idiots? Wh-

*pause*

Yeah I'd like to make 'em remember not to mess with us. Right now?

*pause*

Alright, I'll think about it, give us a minute.

*hangs up*

 

Brotherhood of the Clouds

What was that about?

 

United Purple Nations

Apparently VE and its little flock are having some trouble. They want our help. It's Guardian, SK, and some weirdo named Mensa H-

 

The blood drains out of Brotherhood of the Cloud's face, and it drops the pizza slice suddenly. United Purple Nations looks disturbed.

 

Brotherhood of the Clouds

*quietly, hesitantly*

Did... you say Mensa HQ?

 

United Purple Nations

Yeah, apparently Guardian found a new groupie or something.

 

Brotherhood of the Clouds begin rocking back and forth and cackling evilly. United Purple Nations looks more concerned

 

United Purple Nations

Um... you OK?

 

Brotherhood of the Clouds

*sinister*

At last..... My old nemesis. I've finally got you!

 

United Purple Nations

What?!

 

Brotherhood of the Clouds begins shaking and laughing more intensely

 

Brotherhood of the Clouds

*rapidly and excitedly*

Ever since I first met Mensa, so many months ago I have longed to destroy them, watch them beg and see their disgusting fake genius collapse!

 

United Purple Nations

That's kind of messed up dude. Listen, just forget about that. We're gonna get even with Guardian and SK.

 

Brotherhood of the Clouds ignores this and dashes out of the yard twitching and screaming "MENSA" over and over again at the top of its lungs. United Purple Nations looks on then begins to slowly follow.

 

United Purple Nations

Why am I the only sane alliance around here?

 

exit Brotherhood of the Clouds and United Purple Nations

 

End Scene 2

 

Act 2

Scene 3 - A Semi-Busy Street

Scene - The fighting which has rocked this particular area is finally beginning to die down. Seven Kingdoms chants along with Terminus Est while being struck with various objects. Guardian is buried beneath Rose, Viridian Entente, Vanguard, and the Syndicate. Only Mensa HQ still stands, battling World Wrestling Federation, Cornerstone, and Black Knights.

 

Mensa HQ

You idiots done yet? Perhaps you have realized that dimwits cannot hope to compete with Genius! Abandon this foolish battle now, before I decide I am done playing! As I'm new here, I don't know how you primitives fight, but this is pathetic!

 

Cornerstone

​Stop telling us you're new here! We get it!

 

enter United Purple Nations and Brotherhood of the Clouds

 

Brotherhood of the Clouds

I get to kill Mensa! I get to kill Mensa!

 

Mensa HQ

You! Another lamb to the slaughter! And this one stupider than most!

 

Brotherhood of the Clouds

WHAT?! How dare you insult me like that! I should've destroyed you long ago for what you did to me!

 

Mensa HQ

What I did to you? You spied on me! I should've destroyed you!

 

Brotherhood of the Clouds

You idiot! Repeat that slander again, and I shall pulverize you!

 

Mensa HQ

Me! An IDIOT?! That is a big word for a braindead rock such as yourself!

 

Brotherhood of the Clouds

RAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!

 

Mensa HQ

WWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!

 

Mensa HQ and Brotherhood of the Clouds circle each other, then charge. They collide, but Mensa HQ gets the better of Brotherhood of the Clouds, throwing the alliance to the ground

 

Mensa HQ

*triumphantly*

Haha! Looks like genius triumphs over this sava- uh.

 

United Purple Nations towers over Mensa HQ

 

United Purple Nations

Hi.

 

Mensa HQ takes a wild swing at United Purple Nations screaming. United Purple Nations swiftly catches the fist, and examines it almost curiously. Mensa HQ stares in shock.

 

Mensa HQ

uh.

 

United Purple Nations grabs Mensa HQ and slams its back down onto its knee. There is an audible snap. United Purple Nations then drops the alliance to the ground, pulls out a pillow, and presses it over Mensa HQ's head

 

Mensa HQ

*muffled*

mmmm. MMM! mmmm!

 

United Purple Nations

*soothingly*

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh............ This will all be over soon....

 

Viridian Entente

Wait UPN. I have a better idea.

 

End Scene 3

 

Act 2

Scene 4 - A Semi-Busy Street

Scene - United Purple Nations, Brotherhood of the Clouds, Viridian Entente, World Wrestling Federation, The Syndicate, Rose, Black Knights, Cornerstone, Terminus Est, and Vanguard stand in a circle around Guardian, Seven Kingdoms, and Mensa HQ who lie on the ground. Sheepy pretends he is a shrub.

 

Viridian Entente

I'm telling you guys, this is a great idea!

*loudly*

Alright guys, you can leave, but first you have to give me all your money!

 

Guardian

*weakly*

You monster.... This breaks our most sacred of laws. You cannot.

 

Viridian Entente

I may be a monster, but I'll be a rich monster that nobody knows is a monster! So yeah, I can live with that. What do you guys think?

 

Terminus Est

I require no worldly compensation, unless you possess skulls. For a construction project I'm doing, you see.

 

Viridian Entente

A throne?

 

Terminus Est

Why does everybody always assume it's a throne? Nevertheless, my work here is done.

 

Vanguard

Well, I'm actually late for a very important event, I'll be going.

 

Vangaurd dashes off, Terminus Est vanishes into a warp portal

 

Mensa HQ

*weakly*

You know, I am new here, so I don't know how you guys operate, but this seems kind of excessive.

 

Cornerstone

WE GET IT! You're new here! That isn't an excuse for everything!

 

Mensa HQ

You'd be surprised.... But fine, I'll give you money.

 

Mensa HQ pulls a wad of money out of its pocket. Cornerstone and Black Knights drag it away

 

exit Black Knights, Mensa HQ, and Cornerstone

 

Viridian Entente

So, you two going to give me my money? We could keep beating you up!

 

Guardian

Martyrdom looks good on Twitter.

 

Viridian Entente

Alright everybody. The hard way it is, form a line, 10 minutes of beating, then let the next alliance go.

 

Guardian

ehh... how about half my money?

 

Viridian Entente

Alright, fine. Just get out of my sight!

 

Guardian pulls out $5, then staggers away

 

Viridian Entente

Alright SK. Your turn.

 

Seven Kingdoms

Hah. Hit me all you like scum. TEst has done wonders, my chakras are in line and I've transcended pain. You'll never receive an cent.

 

Viridian Entente

Yeah, we'll see about that. Rose! Start hitting! Syndicate! Find me a big stick!

 

Two hours pass, and Seven Kingdoms simply lies on the ground, calmly receiving blows

 

Viridian Entente

*wheezing*

Alright..... Leave..... Before I.... really decide to...... start hitting....

 

Seven Kingdoms

Enlightenment feels quite good.

 

Seven Kingdoms stands up and calmly walks away. United Purple Nations escorts a grumbling Brotherhood of the Clouds away while Rose wanders into the road and gets hit by a car. Viridian Entente, The Syndicate, and World Wrestling Federation fall to the ground

 

Viridian Entente

​You know, I would call that a success. Annoying pests squashed, and I am still universally beloved. Isn't that right?

 

The Syndicate

Sometimes in business, controversy can serve as a catalyst to spur market devel-

 

Viridian Entente

I really hate you right now, did you know that?

 

enter the Dutch East India Company

 

The Dutch East India Company

Alright guys, I'm here! The finally let me out of the- what the !@#$ happened here?

 

Viridian Entente

A glorious victory, my dear serf. Now, go inform the world I have won war number 1,256. It is truly a momentous event.

 

The Dutch East India Company

I thought you were at war 562?

 

Viridian Entente

Yeah, but this one was special. I got paid for it. I wonder, can I make this a job?

 

The Syndicate

A true capitalist profession req-

 

Virdian Entente

​Shut up, you're ruining my ambiance.

End Act 2

 

Alright everybody, that is that. Another one down, and I'm sure the twists and turns were a surprise to all of us (except Inst, nothing gets past that dude). Hope you enjoyed this, and I suppose now I'll wait until someone pulls the trigger next.

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