Play #1 pt. 2
Entry posted by TheNG ·
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Act 2
Scene 1 - The backyard of Guardian's home.
Scene: The backyard is verdant, covered in grass and shrubs. Seven Kingdoms sits at a table writing Lord of the Rings fan fiction while a small group of alliances mill around, making small talk. Sheepy walks among them, giving out blessings.
Enter Guardian and Rose
Guardian walks over and sits down besides Seven Kingdoms. Rose eagerly watches a caterpillar eat a leaf.
Seven Kingdoms
How did the spying go?
Guardian
​*haughtily*
Excellent, as with all my endeavors of course.
So, are these all the alliances which wanted to help?
You know, I thought there'd be more.
Seven Kingdoms
Well, it turns out that we are all incredibly unpopular, so I was only able to get a few to come over here.
We can ask them a few questions to see whether they are a good fit.
Guardian
Do we have to? I mean, I still think we can do everything on our own, its not like UPN, DEIC, and BoC are better than us in every way.
Seven Kingdoms
Well, they really are, look what happened last time.
Guardian begins to cry
Guardian
Why do you constantly have to destroy my fragile and pathetic self-esteem SK?
Seven Kingdoms
Listen, lets just talk to some of these guys first, OK?
Guardian dries its eyes
Guardian
Fine, but then we go crush them and fulfill the natural order.
Seven Kingdoms
*paternally*
Of course Guardian, I wouldn't have it any other way.
*shouts*
Form a line guys!
First alliance step forward!
A small, short alliance steps forward. Although it strongly resembles Seven Kingdoms, it manages to be even less impressive
Guardian
What's your name?
Ordo Draconum
I'm Ordo Draconum sir!
Guardian
Do I know you?
Seven Kingdoms
He's my little brother
Guardian
Man, you guys are both ugly
Seven Kingdoms and Ordo Draconum
Hey!
Guardian
What, I'm just being honest.
Anyway, I'll pass on you Ordo.
Seven Kingdoms
But why? We need the help.
Guardian
You're just kind of small Ordo, I mean even BoC could stomp on you!
Seven Kingdoms
Since when do you care about others personal safety?
Guardian
Normally I don't care about others at all, but there are slightly more impressive alliances in line.
Next!
Seven Kingdoms whispers to Ordo Draconum, who walks away dejectedly. The next alliance, a ragged and dirty creature, steps forward.
Exit Ordo Draconum
Guardian
Alright, what is your name?
INTL Anarchist Communist Front
My name is INTL Anarchist Communist Front.
Guardian
*whisper to Seven Kingdoms*
This guy seems like a commie. You know how we hate these guys.
Seven Kingdoms
*whisper*
Trust me,it isn't, it may seem a little weird, but it could be useful.
INTL Anarchist Communist Front
You know, I can hear everything you are saying, and I'm not a commie. I'm an anarchist.
Guardian
Oh, spying are we, you despicable monster! Leave my sight at once you filthy commie!
INTL Anarchist Communist Front
I'm telling you, I'm not a communist, I'm an anarchist!
Guardian
I don't care! I don't like you anyway, and if I don't like you, you rapidly become an unhealthy obsession for me for weeks and weeks, building up to a massive all-powerful strike! Now get out before I kill you!
INTL Anarchist Communist Front
You can't kill anything! Thats why I'm here right now!
Guardian lets out a strangled scream and lunges for INTL Anarchist Communist Front. Seven Kingdoms struggles to hold Guardian back and frantically motions for INTL Anarchist Communist Front to leave.
exit INTL Anarchist Communist Front
Seven Kingdoms
Guardian, calm down!
Guardian
*screaming loudly*
After I smash my other enemies, you'll be next! FEAR ME!
Seven Kingdoms
Uh, next! Next!
A third alliance steps forward while Seven Kingdoms manages to push Guardian back into its seat.
Guardian
*attempting to calm down*
Your name?
Empire of Spades
C'mon, you guys don't remember me?
Seven Kingdoms
EOS? I thought you were dead?
Rose said he ate you...
Empire of Spades
Hah, that idiot couldn't kill me if it tried.
Nah, I was just hiding out, and now I'm back to kick some ass!
Guardian
​But you're friends with DEIC, UPN, and BoC. Why do you want to help us?
Empire of Spades
Because I'm bored, and you guys are so pathetic, its funny. Plus, I have a blood feud with UPN, it owes me $5.
Guardian
We're pathetic?! You're pathetic! And I'll prove that we're not pathetic! We don't need your help at all! I'll beat them all without you!
Empire of Spades
Eh, whatever guys, I can always fight you. Have fun getting beat.
Empire of Spades pulls out a cigar and walks away humming, while Guardian stares angrily and Seven Kingdoms hangs its head.
exit Empire of Spades
Seven Kingdoms
*exasperatedly*
Come on Guardian, we have to get someone to help us! Some of those alliances could've been useful. You've got to stop driving people away.
Guardian
I've been driving people away all my short, miserable life! Why stop now! Anyway, all these alliances were terrible. Where is good help when you need it?
Seven Kingdoms
We are the good help (which is saying something I suppose.) Ugh, oh well. Next!
An tall, handsome, and impressive alliance steps forward. It exudes confidence and competence. The mouths of Guardian and Seven Kingdoms hang open
Guardian
Can I please be your friend?
Seven Kingdoms
No pick me! Please! I want to have a normal alliance for a friend!
Mysterious Alliance
I heard you guys needed some help, well I can provide.
Guardian
*excitedly*
Yes, yes you can help us! What is your name?
Mysterious Alliance
My name is Imperial Cavalry of Exorbitance, you can call me ICE for short.
Seven Kingdoms
Have I heard of you before?
Imperial Cavalry of Exorbitance
Well, you may have heard of some of my members. Aamir, Morgan Fr-
Seven Kingdoms, Guardian, and Rose let out terrified screams
Seven Kingdoms
*terrfied*
MONSTER!!!!
Guardian
*terrified*
A FRASER ALLIANCE!! KILL IT!!!
Rose
*terrified*
What did I do to deserve this?
Imperial Cavalry of Exorbitance
*pleading*
No, please! Give me a chance! I've changed!
Rose, Guardian, and Seven Kingdoms run around the yard, screaming. Imperial Cavalry of Exorbitance hangs its head and walks away
Guardian
*terrfied breathing*
A Fraser alliance, we were feet away from a Fraser alliance!
How did this happen?!
Seven Kingdoms
This place is tainted! Did that thing touch anyone?
Guardian, Rose, and Seven Kingdoms stand still, struggling to regain their breath and control
Guardian
Alright, that must never happen again!
Seven Kingdoms
*nervously*
Listen, I had no idea when I called it over. It just seemed normal!
Guardian
This must never happen again, here me! Never!
Seven Kingdoms
Alright, lets just put that behind us, and finish up here.
Guardian and Seven Kingdoms sit down. The final alliance steps up, and Guardian starts in surprise.
Guardian
No, no, no, no, no, no! Not II, not II!
Seven Kingdoms
*whispers*
Listen Guardian, I know II can be odd, but it likes you. You can't buy that loyalty!
Ignis Immortales
*bubbly*
Hey Guardian, how are you doing?
Guardian
*nervously*
Uh, hi II
Ignis Immortales
I heard you guys needed help, and I really want to!
Seven Kingdoms
Sure you can!
Guardian
No you can't! You always follow me around II, its really creepy, and thats saying something, coming from me!
Ignis Immotales
Love me Guardian!!
Seven Kingdoms
Of course you can help!
*angrily to Guardian*
II can help us!
Guardian thinks hard for a minute, then speaks
Guardian
Sure you can help us II. Why don't you go and buy us some missiles?
Ignis Immortales
*happily*
Yay! I won't fail you guys!
exit Ignis Immortales
Guardian
Heheh, that gets II out of the way. Now we can go and roll DEIC, UPN, and BoC.
Seven Kingdoms
Great! That was the last alliance Guardian, now we don't have any extra help! That was what we were supposed to be doing!
Guardian
You're panicking SK, we don't need any help! I can take them all myself, without your stupid ideas. Grab TEst, and lets go!
Seven Kingdoms hangs its head. Suddenly, an alliance becomes relevant, materializing into existence.
Supreme Gentlemen
Hey guys!
Guardian
Who are you?
Supreme Gentlemen
Come on guys, don't you know me?
Guardian and Seven Kingdoms
No.
Supreme Gentlemen
Really, you've never heard of me or what I do?
Seven Kingdoms
Do you do anything?
Supreme Gentlemen
​Augh, why does nobody know what I do?
Guardian
Maybe because you're not important?
Supreme Gentlemen
You know what, screw you guys. I'll find someone who cares.
Supreme Gentlemen becomes irrelevant again, and dematerializes
Guardian
What was that?
Seven Kingdoms
I have no idea...
Guardian
Anyway..... Lets go defeat our opponents! The final showdown!
Seven Kingdoms
There really isn't a way I can convince you to wait?
Guardian
Nope.
Grab TEst and Rose, and lets go!
Seven Kingdoms
Oh well, I wrote my will anyway. Lets go.
Come on Rose..
Rose
Yay, I like this party!
exit Rose, Seven Kingdoms and Guardian
End of Scene 2
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