You say Jump, I say Proxy, A Play pt.1
Entry posted by TheNG ·
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Hello and welcome back everybody!
Now that blogs are back up, I can begin posting these things again for you guys.
With that in mind, this is not the play for this war. Rather it's the play I wrote during and for the last big war, but never got to post because of the rollback and the forum issues. So, it's been complete for a while, and I'll be posting it all pretty rapidly.
Don't fear, I'm working on one for this war as well, and the 1st part should go up in a couple days. Enjoy everybody!
You say Jump, I say Proxy, A Play
Written by: TheNG
Edited by: TheNG
Starring:
Viridian Entente as itself
The Syndicate as itself
Rose as itself
Uranicus Socialitas as itself
Asgard as itself
Vanguard as itself
The Dutch East India Company as itself
Mensa HQ as itself
Act 1
Scene 1 - Viridian Entente's backyard
Scene: Viridian Entente’s backyard is expansive and impeccably organized. The lawn is dotted with statues of the alliance in various poses, and is sectioned into various areas, including several victory memorials, a recreation space, and a shrine where others may prostrate themselves before the glory that is VE. Viridian Entente, The Syndicate, and Rose sit on a hammock, while Sheepy sits on a boat.
Viridian Entente:
So, do you guys want to help me set up a new monument?
The Syndicate:
Didn’t we just do that yesterday, and the day before? It doesn’t make financial sense to have such extravagant displays, even after such an enormous victory.
Viridian Entente:
Yesterday was the Garden of sacred Viridia, today it’s my latest statue, The Marshall Glory of the Entente. Completely different you see.
The Syndicate:
That statue is supposed to be of you, right? Why does it have 3 six-packs? Is that even possible?
Viridian Entente:
Of course I have three six-packs you idiot! I’m Viridan Entente, such things are normal for the superior being that is me.
Rose:
innocently
Can I play with the statue?
Viridian Entente:
Shut up Rose.
The Syndicate:
So…. listen VE. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something. Ever since that last fight, you’ve changed…. And not for the better. You’re more short tempered, and we’re always arguing, and you’ve been really unkind to Rose. I feel like you’re not listening to me anymore, and we’ve lost understanding.
Viridian Entente pauses hitting Rose with a wine glass
Viridian Entente:
Well, your ideas are stupid, and your job isn’t to think, it’s to blindly follow all my commands because I said so.
The Syndicate:
That’s my point. We never used to be like this. I think we could both use a little… break. How about we each take some time off and the-
Viridian Entente jumps off the hammock angrily, throwing Rose and the Syndicate off as well and on to the ground.
Viridian Entente:
confused and angrily
Are you breaking up with me??
The Syndicate:
I’m not saying that, I just think-
Viridian Entente:
You know what?! Fine! I don’t need a moron like you slowing me down anyway! Get out of here, and never come back!
The Syndicate:
What? Why do you have to be such an ass?
Viridian Entente:
ME? You’re not even a real company! I’ll show you, think you can break up with me. GET OUT!
The Syndicate:
And you’re just a pathetic alliance hiding in your pretend glory! Wait and see, you’ll miss me, but I won’t miss you. Goodbye VE, and good riddance!
The Syndicate abruptly turns and marches away. Viridian Entente and Rose look on silently, then Viridian Entente stands up and begins running after The Syndicate
Viridian Entente:
Wait! You can’t do that! You can’t just walk away! I won’t allow it!
The Syndicate:
Watch me…
The Syndicate exits Viridian Entente’s backyard while Viridan Entente stares on in shock. Rose walks up behind.
Rose:
This may be a bad time, but where do you keep your sandwiches?
Viridian Entente:
softly and sadly
Shut up Rose…..
End Scene 1
Act 1
Scene 2 - Viridian Entente's basement
Scene: Viridian Entente’s basement, formerly neat and orderly, is a mess. Furniture is and various objects are strewn about and smashed, and dirty dishes and clothes carpet all surfaces. Viridian Entente sits on a couch in its pajamas watching TV and eating ice cream. A pile of discarded ice cream cartons sits at its feet. Rose stands behind the couch, staring in disapproval.
Rose:
C’mon VE, I know you’re sad about The Syndicate, but you have to get over it. You’ve been doing nothing but eat ice cream and cry for the past two weeks!
Viridian Entente:
Shut up Rose! You don’t understand me. Nobody does. I’m fine. tS doesn’t even bother me anymore.
Rose:
Skeptically
You sure about that? So you wouldn’t mind if I put away all these framed photos you have ou-
Viridian Entente:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Viridian Entente rolls of the couch and begins sobbing.
Viridian Entente:
wailing
Why did Syndicate have to go? I’m so lonely…
Rose:
I know what will make you feel better! How about I find you a new best friend!
I’ll be right back!
Viridian Entente:
But…. wait.
Rose dashes out of the basement excitedly. Viridian Entente opens another carton of ice cream.
End Scene 2
Act 1
Scene 3 - A park
Scene: The park is mostly empty except for one corner, where Uranicus Socialitas, Asgard, and the Dutch East India Company stand talking. Rose enters and runs over. Sheepy sings the blues on a bench.
Rose:
excitedly
Hey US! Do you want to VE’s new best friend?
Uranicus Socialitas
Oh. Hi Rose. I think I’m alright if it’s all the same to you. Perhaps I could visit VE or something, make it feel better?
Rose:
Yay!
Rose grabs Uranicus Socialitas in a massive hug.
Uranicus Socialitas
Uh. Yeah. That’s great Rose. You’re kind of crushing me…
Rose continues to hug Uranicus Socialitas tighter and tighter while the other alliance groans. Suddenly, Uranicus Socialitas’s ribs all snap, and the alliance falls down dead.
Asgard and The Dutch East India Company look on in horror.
Asgard:
Shocked
Rose?! You just killed US!
Rose:
Oh…. Sorry about that. That means you guys are my friends now!
Asgard:
I’m not sure that’s how it wor-
The Dutch East India Company:
I think I’m gonna take a rain check on th-
Rose:
Come with me friends! We’re gonna make VE happy!
Asgard and The Dutch East India Company back away with horrified looks on their faces. As they leave, Rose looks dejected.
Enter Vanguard
Rose:
Hey you! You look like a strong young alliance! How about joining up with the two greatest alliances on the planet!
Vangaurd:
You’re the first alliance who’s ever called me strong. Wow! You want me to hang out with you and VE?!
Rose:
How’d you know I was talking about VE?
Vanguard:
Your superiority complexes are famed far and wide!
Rose:
Uh… That’s nice. Now c’mon! VE is gonna be so happy I found a new friend! Yippee!
Rose skips out of the park, dragging Vanguard behind. As they leave, a shadowy alliance rises from behind some bushes.
Mensa HQ:
Sinister
Interesting. Very interesting. Time to have some fun….
End Act 1
Well, there we are. Act 1 complete, and I bet many of you know where we're going. Part 2 will be up shortly!
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