Solar Knights DOE
Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today to join these two in holy matrimony. Both parties have agreed at the courthouse behind the middle school past oak street not the old the one by the midget graveyard. As one ship sails the open seas in search of another to one day dock together as one. So shall these two in time become one. Often one wonders to see how this all began. It started as a dreary day SpongeBob was marched through the brothel saw William Wallace and said “dibs.” William Wallace looked into SpongeBob's sponge holes and thought “This will do.” Through their love they voluntary made a Marriage Certificate so they can share their shit and lessen their tax burdens. William Wallace promised to disclose his personal whiskey recipe and SpongeBob promised to disclose his STD results.
Any offspring produced from this union shall be given to the winner of single combat jello wrestling. Both parties are required to share a room at least twice a week and alternating weekends as for the off chance this mess somehow doesn’t kill them. In the event of plague the non infected individual shall shoot the other out of a cannon into a dormant volcano. Any animals with more than two legs shall belong to SpongeBob while animals with two legs shall remain in the hands of William Wallace.
Both parties promise to never give each other up, let each other down. Never run around the other, and desert them. To never make each other cry, never gonna say goodbye and to never tell lies and hurt each other.
This Certificate certifies the union between SpongeBob and William Wallace. Both parties agree that they will remain faithful, will trust in each other, and to never go behind the others back. Until death to they part this certificate is hereby bound by the word of god.
William Wallace: SpongeBob SquarePants:
William Wallace SpongeBob SquarePants
Kiwilliam, Paul Warburg, Raiden Baker, Napoleon Gallo, Snjar Dreki, FROG5TAR, Stadius, Thew