In the Egyptian year 5168, El Chach, Pharoah Of The Egyptian Empire decided that relative peace and prosperity in his kingdom wasn't enough. He decided he needed to live among GODS. He knew that in the past gods did fall and live among men. These "gods" were tempted by the sweet scent of delectable delicacies, by the eternity they saw when they gazed into the eyes of the buxom lasses' of the plains of Gilgamesh, and of course by mother earth herself. These "gods" could not resist the temptation that was thrust upon them. They fell from grace and took wives of their own, they came and plowed Mother Earth's fertile lands and planted vineyards. They lived the rest of their lives among men, benefiting everything they touched.
Chach had an INGENIOUS plan. He would try to seduce his own gods to live among him. However, when he looked around his realm to find what which to seduce with he found no buxom lasses, no plots of fertile lands and only one SUBWAY sandwich franchise.
"At least they still offer the $5 footlong!" He exclaimed!
He found what he found to be unsatisfactory.
"There must be something in this land worth offering to the gods in exchange for their presence." He remarked.
So he called a meeting of his most trusted advisors to inquire about how he should proceed. One by one each advisor echoed the Pharoah's sentiment, they too wanted to live among gods. They wanted to be like GODS! However one brave advisor dared to speak his mind.
"Is this even a good idea my eminence?" He humbly asked the Pharaoh.
"Yes of course!" The Pharaoh responded.
"Don't you fear angering the gods my holy and upright and most compassionate liege?" The advisor replied.
"NO! What's the worst that can happen!?" The great dear leader emphatically bellowed.
Eventually the council came to a consensus. All they had to offer was all they had themselves. Status. "These gods would surely leave their mighty and grand status above for one even grander and mightier below." They shouted. So they got to work. They read all of the ancient texts and codex and comic books and came to a conclusion. They wanted to invoke the presence of the Nephilim and they had the correct phone number to do so as well. (They had to decipher many hours of the tv show Friends using a key they derived from a copy of the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy.) The number was 867-5309. The code breaker was so giddy when he finally broke the code he hastily wrote down the number and in his absentmindedness he forgot to double check his work. It came out like this. So instead of contacting the Nephilim they contacted the Chaos Gods and boy were they annoyed. The Gods saw peanuts offered to them and spit them out like a dragon blowing fire. What happened next? Well you all saw what happened next.
Upon seeing the error of his own ways Pharaoh El Chapo stepped down and let the land be led by the only advisor who dared speak against him.
Empyrea and EE cease hostilities.
Good luck to the new gov of EE.
P.S. Yes that is our phone number.