I do too! We have so much in common! We should be friends and you are in luck! A friendship with me is normally worth $299,999 but for this limited time offer it's not half off, not a quarter off, but a fifth off!
That's right, for only $59,999 you can be considered my friend for an entire hour*! Show off to your alliance mates, wow your dog, you can even confuse your parents!
Act now before this once in a lifetime opportunity passes you by!
To apply send $59,999 plus $40,000 S&H to Underlordgc within the next nine hours.
*Not actually an entire hour