Working Alanside the most hated person in Orbis

[Sweeeeet Ronny D]

i gotta be honest, i ran out of steam trying to read the bullet points.

SRD's recommendation to avoid toxicity and drama, is to avoid those people like the plague, because its always the same people that find themselves in these positions.

 

[Beepman49]

So uhh...

[Rageproject]

On 11/18/2023 at 5:47 PM, Stalcho said:

Intro

• 637 days since last forum post, reflecting on leaving another toxic relationship.
• Defines toxic relationships as those making you feel worse over time.
• Notes toxic relationships can exist in various contexts (sports teams, boardroom, family).
• Describes being in two toxic relationships simultaneously: one with Alan and one with Black Skies, disliked in Orbis due to Alan.
• Acknowledges that in such stories, no one comes out looking good.
• Anticipates criticism for blaming Alan and acknowledges there are multiple sides to the story.
• Emphasizes sharing personal experience and invites others to express their own perspectives.
  
  
  
  
   

The Merge

• Merge Decision:

  • Knew about Alan's reputation; received warnings from others.
  • Merged with Alan and Black Skies despite awareness of potential issues.
  • Motivation rooted in hubris; believed as 2IC, could mitigate Alan's behavior.
  • Admits to underestimating Alan's unilateral decision-making tendencies.

• Challenges in Decision Making:

  • Describes attempts to act as a balancing force but faced challenges in steering decisions.
  • Reflects on previous experience in the Empire of the Romans and attempts to learn from it.
  • Implemented safeguards for conflict resolution and a harmonious working relationship.
  • Highlights difficulty in conflict resolution when not involved in decision-making.
  • Often learned about decisions through announcements, making resolution challenging.
  • Decision-making tendency became more entrenched over time.

• Negotiations and Unforeseen Consequences:

  • Negotiated to keep PRIU bank separate until February 2024 for potential reform.
  • Unaware that attempting to reform would be considered poaching.
  • Expresses surprise and frustration at the unforeseen consequences of reform attempts.
    
    
    
     

The Guides

• Challenges with Governance:

  • Black Skies operated with guides and a Handbook, leading to a dysfunctional governance structure.
  • Describes guides and the Handbook as the primary tools for decision-making.
  • Compares the situation to going to school without a teacher, relying solely on reference materials.
  • Expresses dissatisfaction with the lack of communication and guidance, causing difficulties for government members.
  • Notes the insidious nature of the system, with unclear expectations leading to public criticism and financial penalties.
  • Highlights the centralization of relevant documents with Alan, limiting informed decision-making by the government.

• Dysfunction in Recruitment and Decision-Making:

  • Details Alan's approach to recruitment, running his own program without sharing successful methods with new recruitment officers.
  • Emphasizes the opinion that the game is for fun and enjoyment, not a job, criticizing the demanding work environment.
  • Acts as a liaison between Alan and government, facing challenges in seeking clarification for government members.
  • Notes the demoralizing effect on government members, leading to resignations due to constant negativity and unclear instructions.
  • Expresses disbelief that anyone would tolerate such conditions.

• Alan's Response to Government Resignations:

  • Describes a significant number of government members dropping out due to dissatisfaction.
  • Alan's response is for the author to pick up the slack and take on additional responsibilities.
  • Author refuses, hoping Alan would find new government members to handle tasks.
  • Instead, Alan decides to take on all government responsibilities himself, sidelining the existing government structure.

• Introduction of War as a Concurrent Issue:

  • Mentions that while the governance issues were ongoing, war-related events were unfolding in the background.
    
    
    
     

The Wars

• View on Wars for Training:

  • Initially supports launching wars for training purposes and conflict management.
  • Believes it can be beneficial for members to learn how to fight and for government to manage conflicts.

• Challenges with Alan's Reputation and War Involvement:

  • Acknowledges Alan's disliked reputation in Orbis, with many leaders wanting to confront him.
  • Advises keeping a low profile to avoid triggering another conflict involving Alan.
  • Instead of causing trouble, opts for a training week but eventually gets involved in a conflict with Brofam.

• Issues Arising from Alan's Involvement in Government:

  • Highlights the lack of other members handling Foreign Affairs (FA) in the government.
  • Describes Alan's approach to FA as ineffective, comparing it to using a jackhammer to chisel a sculpture.

• Brofam Conflict and Escalation:

  • Brofam offers white peace, but Alan seeks harsher terms, leading to a disagreement.
  • Brofam signs with Samurai, contradicting Alan's assurance that Samurai had no interest.
  • Result: FSO, Nemesys, and Samurai attack Black Skies, turning a war week into a war month.

• Perception of Victory in the War:

  • Expresses cognitive dissonance in labeling the situation as "winning" despite significant losses.
  • Members frustrated as their efforts are annihilated, but told it's considered a victory.

• Alan's Role in Peace Talks:

  • Describes Alan's handling of peace talks as ineffective, comparing it to open heart surgery with a hacksaw.
  • Author, along with Thompson, successfully negotiates peace in about 5 minutes after taking over from Alan.

• Aftermath and Escalation of Toxicity:

  • Notes the stress and tension in the weeks following the war.

Describes the working relationship transitioning from tense to truly toxic.



Post War

• Post-War Challenges:

  • Members from the government express dissatisfaction after a series of conflicts, leading to low morale.
  • Author consciously chooses to be understanding and lenient with members considering the circumstances.

• Alan's Reaction and Leadership Style:

  • Alan takes an opposite approach, accusing everyone of incompetence and expressing a desire to fire them.
  • Author intervenes, asserting that unilateral decisions on firing should involve the entire government.

• Tactics to Make Members Quit:

  • Alan avoids formal firing by creating an environment that leads members to quit voluntarily.
  • Describes a disrespectful period where members are berated and standards are vaguely communicated.

• Negative Impact on Members:

  • Reports instances of members having their safekeeps taken without clear explanations.
  • Gov officials are publicly berated for their perceived poor performance.
  • Several members delete their nations or leave the alliance due to dissatisfaction with Alan's leadership.
  • Notes that members are fed up with being dragged into wars in Alan's name.

• Government Resignations:

  • Gov members quit in significant numbers during this low point.
  • Author decides to take on the challenge of rebuilding what Alan had dismantled.
    
    
    
    
     

The Final Days, The Handbooks Tail

• Mass Recruitment Drive and Lack of Clarity:

  • Author conducts a mass recruitment drive for government members.
  • Identifies a key problem: Government members don't understand their individual responsibilities clearly.

• Demand for Clarity:

  • Author pressures Alan to clearly communicate tasks and responsibilities to government members.

• The Handbook and Confusion:

  • Alan introduces "The Handbook" as the end-all guide to government responsibilities.
  • The Handbook is confusing, undergoes multiple revisions, and is considered the Black Skies bible.

• Author's Intervention:

  • Author takes a proactive approach, personally sitting down with new government members to explain their exact tasks.

• Military Philosophy Clash:

  • Author, with a military background, suggests a task specialization approach within the government.
  • Alan opposes this, considering it an affront to the Sacred Handbook.

• Toxic Leadership and Threats:

  • Alan responds negatively, calling the author names, threatening demotion, and badmouthing in members' channels.

• Decision to Leave:

  • Author decides to leave the toxic relationship with Alan after realizing it's not making them happy.
  • Announces intention to consult with PRIU members about reforming, deemed as poaching by Alan.

• Consequences of Leaving:

  • Alan removes the author from all roles and badmouths them to former PRIU members.
  • Old PRIU servers were not deleted, and most members leave, leaving Black Skies in a weakened state.

• Reflection on Leaving Toxic Situations:

  • Author emphasizes the importance of leaving toxic situations, even if it's difficult, and striving for something better.

• Assessment of Alan:

After four months of working with Alan, the author concludes that he is deserving of the reputation he has held in Orbis for many years.





Yous can thank me by gibing me sum mone
https://politicsandwar.com/nation/id=579187

 

Your summary was just as long as the original post…

This is an unnecessarily long story to summarize what should have been said: “I knew better and was forewarned about working with Alan, but I was too prideful to listen to reason… so I ended up in this predictable mess and drama.”

Edited November 22, 2023 by Rageproject

[Stanko1987]

Alan has a talent of getting himself into dramas back-to-back and Palsada has a habit of getting into toxic relationships back-to-back, hopefully Palsada has managed to break this curse, but still fails to listen to others for advice. The most sensible thing for him and his PRIU members is to restart the alliance where he left of before merging with Black Skies and not rush into another merger so quick.

[Raphael]

Hey Palsada, it's Roberts AKA Justinian. I know I change nation themes a lot, it's part of how I squeeze enjoyment out of this dull game.

 

Given this is your second or so attempt at merging your alliance into another, I think you need to take a step back and really analyze what a merger means, why people agree to them, and what your expectations are when you merge your alliance.

Given my intimate experience with you and your process: You seem to think that you can make political gains by "merging" into alliances while retaining your PRIU identity and using your grouping as an internal bloc to push changes you or your group want to see. It's attempted subversion and merging in bad faith to begin with, so when you mention toxicity - don't forget it takes two to tango. The only thing really halting this accusation is that your group never truly seems to merge with anyone. You just... exist on a different AA for awhile. No merge will ever successfully happen that way, and I think that if you look to incorporate groups into yours that would go better than you trying to exist as an alliance within an alliance.

Secondly, reread your entire essay and notice how almost all of your complaints are your own personal lack of control over literally every decision. Being a control freak and wanting everything to require your stamp of approval is again, subversion at best, and narcissism at worst.

 

I actually think @Thalmor needs to conduct the trial of Palsada at this point, and leave poor Alan alone.

[Stanko1987]

11 hours ago, Raphael said:

Hey Palsada, it's Roberts AKA Justinian. I know I change nation themes a lot, it's part of how I squeeze enjoyment out of this dull game.

 

Given this is your second or so attempt at merging your alliance into another, I think you need to take a step back and really analyze what a merger means, why people agree to them, and what your expectations are when you merge your alliance.

Given my intimate experience with you and your process: You seem to think that you can make political gains by "merging" into alliances while retaining your PRIU identity and using your grouping as an internal bloc to push changes you or your group want to see. It's attempted subversion and merging in bad faith to begin with, so when you mention toxicity - don't forget it takes two to tango. The only thing really halting this accusation is that your group never truly seems to merge with anyone. You just... exist on a different AA for awhile. No merge will ever successfully happen that way, and I think that if you look to incorporate groups into yours that would go better than you trying to exist as an alliance within an alliance.

Secondly, reread your entire essay and notice how almost all of your complaints are your own personal lack of control over literally every decision. Being a control freak and wanting everything to require your stamp of approval is again, subversion at best, and narcissism at worst.

 

I actually think @Thalmor needs to conduct the trial of Palsada at this point, and leave poor Alan alone.

I believe Palsada and Alan make a perfect couple. Both are entrenched in dramas.