Hatebi

We left him on a lovely desert island. Real premium stuff, TWO whole palm trees!

Hello friends, enemies and everyone in-between! I'm happy to announce that after our most recent mutiny, yours truly has been crowned as the next Grand Admiral of Arrgh! People are calling it "the most peaceful transition of power in Arrgh history" after a serene mutiny that saw just 40 casualties, 7 sunken vessels and the loss of one beautiful scarlet macaw, who will be missed most of all. Some of the landlubbers amongst you might be wondering what this means for you. Your extreme self absorbedness aside, you can expect even bigger and better events coming to a forum near you very soon! How soon? Sooner than you might think. Okay maybe not that soon, but soon enough. Speaking of soon, do you know what's never too soon? Joining Arrgh! If you thought our last event was fun, just wait until you've tried being on our side of it. Now that the plug's out of the way, say it with me... Soon! wait no let me try that again Arrgh! There we go.

Meme treaties while the war system was down.

he doesn't know about the florida incident also who's arrg? dumb name tbh.

Arrghiversary Episode 10: New Pirate Order 10 is a really big number for a pirate. They don't really teach advanced mathematical concepts in pirate school. The curriculum is more focused on different ways to smack someone with something sharp, how to haul treasure without breaking your back, proper parrot care. You know, the important stuff. Besides, eggheads who know what the so-called number "Elevene" is usually find themselves at the pointy end of a rapier. For those of us who use the finger method, 10 is really about as big of a number a you can get, so our 10th anniversary deserves an extra special celebration. First, let's look back on the two super rad events we did this year. Way back in February we did The Wheel of Misfortune. This was the first event I was really at the helm on. Proud to say it didn't flop horribly, something that'll surely be etched onto my tombstone. For those that weren't around for it, The Wheel of Misfortune was a nuke auction where instead of placing a bid on an alliance you wanted us to nuke, you were able to buy a slot on a big wheel out of a total of 100. After a few days, the wheel was spun live in the Arrgh server, with it's winner being our target. We're selling ourselves a bit short with the "didn't flop horribly" line, while slot sales were a bit slow during the first half, the rest of them quickly sold out after the second. We ended up making the maximum possible haul of 10B. Our bar for success was to at least match the haul from our last auction (3B), so more than tripling it was seen as a pretty big W. The live wheel spin went real well too, think we had around 40-60 people watching? That's gotta be at least 5 times the average turn out for most P&W radio shows these days, so we had to be on to something. Those in attendance might remember Kastor's ill-fated call for a "test-spin" which ended up swapping the target from The Immortals to Singularity. Little misfortunate for them, but great for the content. A little more recently, we have The Voting Game we hosted in November. We called this one a reverse nuke auction (which isn't super accurate but we had to put something in the title brackets) since instead of paying to have someone nuked, people could vote on a series of polls to save an alliance of their choosing from being pelted with nukes. The monetization was simple, in addition to the free vote everyone got, you could buy additional votes for a varying price each round. This one was VERY heavily inspired from almost every modern NAP including lame "do not hire mercs" clauses. Formatting the event like this let people get away with paying us with a clear conscious. Despite a few minor inconveniences here and there, I think it's safe to say this was by far the best event we've ever hosted. Well over a thousand people participated in the polls, with the total vote count across all 3 rounds reaching a grand total of 3,289 votes. As for the loot haul, after taking a few unexpected expenditures into account, we walked away with a total prize pool well over 17B, far exceeding our previous record breaker of 10B. This event was a whole lot of fun for us and, as I've been told, most of the rest of the community too. I'm sure the winner, The Immortals, had a real blast with it (thanks for being good sports about it). Sadly we don't have a total monopoly on end-of-year anniversaries anymore. TSC, rather inconsiderately, founded a few days earlier than our anniversary day. As payback, I'll be blatantly stealing the whole "individual gov shoutouts" thing they have going on. Or, as we in Arrgh prefer to call it, "blatantly raiding" it. side tangent: ever notice how despite being called "the sword coast" the swords in question are by far the smallest thing on their flag? meanwhile we have way bigger swords and are at least coast-adjacent. what i'm saying is we're stealing your name next year roberts. For real though, shoutouts to all the homies that helped make Arrgh what it is in the big '24. Vicic - For overthrowing the tyrannical Sam Cooper and being our beloved Red Admiral for most of 2024. Sam - The sea's greatest coder and problem solver extraordinaire. P.S. sorry i called you tyrannical 4 seconds ago. Obsiloon - From one of my first pirate academy pupils to the owner & operator of your own academy, you're the goat at turning scallywags into swashbucklers. Vilktakis - Creator of spreadsheets, reaper of inactives and MS paint master. TheDoom - Supreme Pirate Warlord, you're one of the greatest raiders to ever set sail :pray_doom: Hatebi - By far the most brilliant, indisposable, invalu- okay okay stop booing i'll stop Zim/Ogaden/Bluebear - Even after all of these years we can still count on y'all to roll up when we're smacking someone. Shutter - You are a paragon of reliability. If we need a comically-oversized bomb diffused you're going to be the man for the job. Wuju - If we ever do make the banking leaderboard you've got to be a contender for the top. Shady - For being a huge help with recruitment & internals El Domo - Even though you've only been gov a short while, you've already made amazing contributions. Few people have the talent for propaganda like you do. cctmsp13/im317 - Our favourite Yarr boys, thanks for not bullying me too hard when I req 60 aluminum. Reading up after finishing that last part and wew, I think we've met out yapping quota for the year. You know the spiel by now, Arrgh rulez farmers drool, join immediately and crack some skulls. Now let's wrap up this year with an extra big... Arrgh!

I try to go for a game show type vibe with these (the artwork for the wheel of misfortune even depicted a game show set). I've wanted to do something a little more involved for quite a while, it'd just need a lot of tweaking to get right. I'd imagine most alliances wouldn't be too eager to sign up for an event that'd get them nuked if they lose, and going "we hit you if you don't send anyone" wouldn't be much of a show. This event was sort of a test run for how many people would be willing to participate in something like this. For the next one, we might try something similar, but with more of a commitment than just voting on a poll.

The not-so-shocking finale... The Voting Game! Results Welcome back! We're finally at the end of our little adventure. Well, you guys are. We still have to go and chunk whoever won for like 20b. A huge thank you to everyone who's turned out to vote for any of these rounds. It's been a whole lot of fun to host (if a little stressful at times lol). Both this event and the Wheel of Misfortune have WILDLY exceeded our expectations for money raised & user participation. We hope this event has been as enjoyable for you guys as it has been for us. Round 3 Results My favourite part, let's see how much money you've thrown at us for extra votes! oh. Moving swiftly on, let's see which of our three finalists get to walk away scot-free! 1st Place - The Sword Coast (393 votes) Wow, they must have rolled a nat 20 2nd Place - Eclipse (366 votes) look i'm really running out of one liners here, let's wrap this up Which means the final alliance left standing on the poll is... The Immortals Congratulations! Please keep switching to Turtle! Arrgh!

Back on the air, it's... The Voting Game! Final Round Welcome back! It's certainly been an exciting past few days, hasn't it? As you've probably seen, some weirdos in knight armour tried to shut us down. Unfortunately for them, heavy armour makes it real hard to swim. Pretty sure most of those guys sank straight to the bottom of the ocean. That was all our doing, of course. I've heard talk about some micro joining in too? Blanking on the name. Daffodil? Tulip? Whatever it was, I guess they can take a tiny bit of the credit. So all the damage you're seeing on Camelot? 95% us, maybe 5% Petunia over there. Anyways, beating up a corpse isn't much fun, so we'll leave that to the kind folks over at Dandelion. That leaves us with our three finalists: Eclipse The Immortals The Sword Coast Congrats/condolences on making it to the final round! This round will work a little differently than the last two, so don't give up hope just yet. Best to save that for if you lose. Final Round Extra Vote Rules By far the biggest request we've received was for the ability to buy negative votes. We're no strangers to fan demand, so for the final round, you'll be able to do just that! Even more good news, the price of buying extra votes has fallen to just 30M per vote. We're practically giving these things away for that price. As for negative votes, those will run ya 45M per vote. I'm really fond of the whole "buying votes for the competition to screw over someone indirectly" concept, so you're going to have to pay a little extra if you want to directly remove someone else's votes. Updated Schedule Voting Round 1: October 26th DC - October 29th, half an hour before DC Voting Round 2: October 29th DC - November 1st, half an hour before DC Voting Round 3: November 8th DC - November 11th DC Hit date: November 12th, following DC. Previous Posts Round 1 Round 2 Election Interference

The most important ballot you'll cast all year... The Voting Game! Final Rou- wait a minute who knocked over my stage? Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to find hatebi-sized ships? Most of them are stuck in BOTTLES! Oh, I see. YOU Ladies and gentlemen, leave it to Camelot to trash one of the vanishingly few interesting events this game sees during peace time. You'd think an alliance led by a content creator would be a little more interested in the game having any content, right? Not to mention the whole "guaranteeing a fight vs letting the game play out and potentially (likely) not having to at all" thing, truly a masterful gambit there. Well, maybe "trashed" isn't the right word. The stage? Absolutely, but as they say, the show must go on. Yes, over 1,200 members of the community have voted in the polls. I've received more messages than I can count on how much people have been enjoying this event. Not to mention everyone who's paid a handsome pile of gold to see a good show. It wouldn't be fair to cancel everything just because Camelot wants you to be bored and content-starved. Rest assured, once we're done here, we'll be right back with the true final round. Might be a while, especially if there's a global, but we will be back. The show isn't over, just taking a mid-season break. Now, since I already had the entirety of the original post typed out and ready, how about we take a look at how Round 2 went? Round 2 Results You a fan of big numbers? Well have I ever got a treat for you! The Knights Radiant - 153 The Syndicate - 99 The Fighting Pacifists - 92 Eclipse - 71 First event in history to hit 1 Arrghillion dollars. Let's see our winners! This one's a real nail biter, so you'd better hold on to something. 1st Place - The Knights Radiant (435 votes) Wow, someone really took that checkbook comment to heart. 2nd Place - The Syndicate (372 votes) The brightest light in the darkest hour was actually just a MASSIVE pile of shimmering gold! 3rd Place - The Fighting Pacifists (368 votes) Looks like they won't be fighting this time around. Runner Up - Eclipse (364 votes) They won the forum vote too, that's gotta sting. Previous Rounds Round 1 Round 2

Come see the show critics are calling "morally bankrupt" and "genuinely evil"... The Voting Game! Round 2 Welcome back! Gotta say, was NOT expecting this kinda reception. I looked at other forum polls, like game dev stuff and the yearly awards, for a frame of reference on how many votes we could expect. Game dev stuff got around 100-200 on average, while the awards would get a little over 400. I was expecting maybe 200 votes total, definitely did not expect to not only pass, but nearly triple the turn out for the awards. I've been hearing a lot of people strategizing too. From whole spheres coordinating to vote alliances out one at a time to alliances selling their votes for a discount, it's been super rad to see. Now, let's get to the fun stuff. Also I totally didn't mess up the poll auto-closure because I thought it was server time instead of est. Round 1 Results First, let's reveal the secret paid votes. Event Horizon - 70 Rose - 1 And now for our 3 lucky winners! 1st Place - Event Horizon (312 votes) What a sweep. You really can erase any problem by throwing money at it, huh? 2nd Place - Weebunism (273 votes) Weebs in? The joint campaigning efforts really paid off. 3rd Place - Rose (237 votes) The dreaded plant avoids the weedwhacker. Runner Up - The Knights Radiant (172 votes) Shame, you guys had a real strong start. Might be time to take out the checkbook? Extra Vote Price Update As advertised, the price of extra votes will shift between rounds. For round 2, additional votes will go for 40M each. For those of you that flunked out of kindergarten, that's a whole 10M discount from last round. Will the price for the final round be the cheapest yet, or will we make like Wendy's and give price surging a try? Stay tuned to find out! Also, reminder to not try and buy votes extremely close to the closing time. If you try to be cute and do it like a second before the poll closes you're liable to be out of luck. Schedule Voting Round 1: October 26th DC - October 29th, half an hour before DC Voting Round 2: October 29th DC - November 1st, half an hour before DC Voting Round 3: November 1st DC - November 4th DC Hit date: November 5th, following DC. How Alliances Were Chosen for the Poll The #1 question we've received so far has easily been why some alliances were included in the poll and why some were left out. The simple answer is that alliances were picked based on their quality as a nuke run target. Factors such as average member score and infra determine that. While alliances like Guardian and Grumpy are higher ranked than TSC and Weeb, their high average score puts them out of range of many of our smaller guys. For balance reasons, we also wanted the smaller alliances to have large, active allies that could help bail them out. As for Singularity's exclusion, they won the last event and we figured a repeat episode would be a pretty boring outcome. Previous Rounds Round 1

For this round, each paid vote is 50M. The price will fluctuate for each round.

We usually don't stockpile much to avoid this. Building & launching the same day is much safer.

Alliances were primarily selected by their quality as a target for the nuke run. Grumpy/guardian would be almost entirely out of range for a lot of our smaller guys. Alliances like GATO are entirely in range, but have very little infra and would not take very much damage. As for Sin, they were the target last time and rerun episodes are super boring. Final two alliances were a bit of a toss up, Weeb and TSC ended up being in the ideal middle ground of having infra while still being in range.

Come one, come all! Step right up for... The Voting Game! People of Orbis, we here at Arrgh have heard your pleas. Yes, we can't go 5 minutes without hearing someone complain about how boring and dull things are these days. Of course, there's also the 12 or so very important people at the top that try their best to snuff out any sort of content this game has to offer. A dedicated "Don't hire the evil pirates" NAP clause? We'd be flattered if that wasn't so lame. It is what it is though, sometimes the best ideas come from working under strict limitations. Now, get ready for the world's first NAP-compliant nuke event: The Reverse Nuke Auction! How It Works Instead of voting with your wallet on who you want blown to pieces, this time around you'll be voting for an alliance to spare from a pre-selected list of 10. Unlike past events, every single one of you will be able to participate in the process, free of charge. Voting will take place over 3 rounds, with the top 3 most voted for alliances in each round being removed from the poll. The last alliance left standing will be pelted with only the most premium of Arrgh-made nukes and missiles for at least 2-3 rounds (and more, depending on total event proceeds). How did we manage to monetize this one? I'm glad you asked! Buying Votes Extra committed to bailing someone out? Or, Alex forbid, keeping someone else on the poll? Have I ever got the shady offer for you! For the low price of 50M each, you can buy extra votes to spare an alliance. The best part? Extra votes will only be revealed AFTER a round of voting concludes. So, even if it looks like an alliance is about to be spared, your secret paid votes for the competition can keep them stuck on the list. Better act fast though, the price of extra votes is subject to fluctuate for each round. Payment can be sent via bank transfer or trade offer, just make a ticket in the Arrgh discord server or shoot me a DM. Note that you probably won't be able to buy votes within 10 minutes of a poll's closing time, I do need some time to write these posts up. Schedule Voting Round 1: October 26th DC - October 29th, half an hour before DC Voting Round 2: October 29th DC - November 1st, half an hour before DC Voting Round 3: November 1st DC - November 4th DC Hit date: November 5th, following DC. Misc. Stuff Full anonymity. Forum voting will have voters hidden and the identity of paid voters will not be revealed. Since polls can only be made in an OP, each round of voting will be a separate thread. The winner (loser?) will be announced in a 4th thread. You're not only allowed, but are encouraged to bug your members and allies to vote in these. Scared of the big boys having too much sway? There's plenty of alliances with little to no skin in the game, maybe they'd be willing to help you out? If you're tired of farming and want to see some action, feel free to ghost whatever lame farmer alliance you're currently in and join up for the hit. You'll get paid the same as anyone else and can leave right after. As always, Arrgh!

I think increasing the uranium or alu usage by 250 is fair. I still think my original suggestion of being able to hit anyone x amount of cities above your own was the way to go, but in lieu of that, I think the current range is fine. If it absolutely had to come down, I don't think 2.25x would be the end of the world. Going down further than that defeats the purpose of the change imo.

They're all logged in a spreadsheet. Only way I'd remember, my memory is about on par with a squirrel.

There's a little known mechanic where missiles will do more damage if the target city has a lot more infra than land. The ratio has to be really, really bad for it to go over the usual 350, so it very rarely comes into play. That specific city was at 3,211 infra and I think like ~250 land?

Chat, we did it. One THOUSAND nukes launched!!! Of course, #1,000 had to go to an extra special target. Can't just give that honour to some random shmuck. I was pretty stumped on who'd be a good fit, but Vel had an idea. The obvious best choice. The one and only big man himself @Alex! A huge thank you to @Putmir Vladin for helping to set this up. Now, it wouldn't be a very exciting celebration if it was just me patting myself on the back. Which is why I'm giving the first 30 people to message me on discord a free nuke! That's right folks, my prices are so low that the only way to do a real discount is to just give 'em away for free. Anyone in my range is on the table, with the exception of people in Arrgh/Yarr, people who've paid to never have to deal with me again and people currently involved in the on-going global (it's never as fun when they're already at war). Better act fast, much like the infra of your targets, this deal is disappearing in 3 days. UPDATE: All 30 free nuke slots have been taken. Y'all got some BEEF. I've logged every single nuke and (almost) every missile I've ever launched. For the pacifists and enemy-less in the crowd, have some neat data. Top 10 Most Nuked Alliances #1: Camelot - 66 Nukes #2: The Fighting Pacifists - 61 Nukes #3: Rose - 54 Nukes #4: The Commonwealth (Original) - 42 Nukes #5: Carthago - 41 Nukes #6: Weebunism - 34 Nukes #7: The Golden Horde - 33 Nukes #8: GATO - 30 Nukes #9: Serene Wei - 30 Nukes #10: The Knights Radiant - 28 Nukes 920 days of uninterrupted bombing. 68 wars won with just nukes, missiles, the occasional ship and a dream. 2 glitched phantom nukes which did not increase the counter and 1 missile that broke records and dealt 1,063 infra damage. See y'all again when we do the next auction or wheel or whatever. Stay rad ❤️

We'll miss ya big guy. A huge thanks for all of the work you've put into the game.

Bit rich to be accusing other people of being debate bros after you stumble into a thread a week after it's died just to pick a fight, no? Like many of your farmer ilk, you're whining and throwing a massive temper tantrum on the forums because some of your 44 ludicrously overbuilt cities are being nuked. This one definitely takes the cake as far as rage-fueled tantrums go. Flinging insults, invoking sociology, I can't imagine how you were able to post any of this without feeling at least a little embarrassed. Your entire post reeks of projection. Sorry, but when you're calling someone a "baby monkey flinging his poopies" you've made it pretty clear you're the side having a meltdown. I get debates aren't really your thing, I'm not a big fan either. If it's more your speed, feel free to respond with a 3 hour long video essay or a tweet thread on why piracy is problematic.

buor, buddy, this has somehow gotten worse than tyrion's crusade against loser weapons.

I dig the goal here, but this change would do the opposite. Would be a huge nerf to raiding, filling your slots opens you up to getting jumped by like 5 to 7 guys depending on your projects.