Salvarity

Congrats Utmos!

A survivor's account of the days leading to the signing of this treaty. It was a cold and frigid and icy day in Francogradopolisistan. We looked upon the city from the surrounding mountains and saw a teeming metropolis. Thousands upon thousands people were busy, trying to survive until tomorrow. The hint of civilization was a welcome sight after the weeks of trekking through the inhospitable Pacifcan tundra. As we went past one of their houses of worship, we saw our first glimpse into this wretched place. The denizens were completely lost in their worship. They didn’t even notice, they just kept chanting. Their horrific chants still ring through my eyes to this day. ``eromyna stsiocnarF ton er'ew ,saw ti neve dna lla ta msicsaf ot detaler t'nsi msiocnarF ,gnorw gnihton did niapS socnarF`` Inhumane, unintelligible, but all those animals had it memorized. But we couldn’t let this faze us. We were on a mission. A recent tip had come in that our long lost executive, Partisan, was last seen conspiring in this very city. Hilmes could not let this be ignored and he set us out on this expedition. It was just a few of us, Hilmes, myself, three junior associates, and of course the cheapest mercenaries money could buy. But, we needed something, anything, about where Partisan was. Ever since he had been gone, Leopold’s been in charge, he keeps making us treat the junior associates like people and listen to Austrian war marches. You get the picture, we were pretty desperate. But yeah, skipping ahead. We went through that shithole of the city, made it to their central command. They clearly expected us, but even then it was ridiculously calm. I would only later realize that they were prepared. Even with the calmness of the situation the path through those hallways was absolute insanity. To be blunt they were nerve wracking and each room we passed was worse than the one before. In one we saw a German fisherman(?) getting new shilling orders, the next had Ivan Moldavi, Pierconium, and Gracius Maximus reminiscing about the long lost days of 2004, they looked to have been there for about fifteen years now. I even tried to go into that one but they pelted me with a teacup. Each room kept getting worse and worse, I swear in one I saw like a hundred cats and some alchemy books. I would’ve guessed they were trying to make cat girls, but I doubt Pacificans could get the girls. The worst of it all were the creatures we encountered in the hallway itself. At first there were the regular Pacificans, depraved and soulless but still people. Next we saw the furries, all hanging around the Tribunes office. Going forward, we didn’t know what to expect but then the smell hit us. Weebs. Weebs everywhere. Each was armed with a body pillow, a katana, and a whacking stick, sadly none had a deodorant stick. Soon, but not quickly enough, they dissipated and all that was left were some small rodents: hamsters, chipmunks, I think I saw Capybara there too. All through the hallway there were more and more rodents, sometimes random kpop fans too, but they’re pretty much indistinguishable from the rats. The real horror didn’t materialize until we had reached our destination. As we neared the end of the hallway, a place where not even the kpop fans dared to venture. Our small party entered the meeting room and were quickly overpowered by hundreds of Roqbots. We kept screaming that only three of them can attack us at once, but they wouldn’t listen, they couldn’t listen. The fight was over just like that. But they didn’t kill us. In ropes, chains, and whatever other gear those degenerates had on hand, they brought us their central shrine. And it was there that we finally saw him. Roquentin The Daemon Prince of Chaos Undivided. And that was when all hope was lost. The Priests of the NPO began their unholy ritual. They began sacrificing our guards. Their hearts to their cursed Gods, the rest of the bodies being thrown into the kpop fan pits. Then just like that; their dark magics beamed upon us and the personalities of my allies were wiped. Their very memories and individuality destroyed. Now only Roqbots remained. I was only saved because I didn’t have a personality to wipe. Then they released us. They even replaced our guards with some of their own. At that point I only wanted to be as far away from their as possible. So I kept my mouth shut and we successfully made our way back to Bermuda. Not even an hour after we returned, Hilmes announced that all three executives would be travelling to Francogradopolisistan for a summit.

help i've been maymay'd