Obongo the Paultifex Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 (edited) "Believe me, the intellectual revolution is going on, and that has to come first before you see the political changes. That's where I'm very optimistic." - Ron Paul Est hodie eveniunt In the Year of our Lord 1991, Best American leader Obongo the Mighty was awoken from his peaceful slumber by a ghastly vision of fire and brimstone, of nuclear devastation and rolling torrents of ash and debris that choked out the great cities of Orbis. As the once proud skyscrapers and monuments to humanity shattered and crumbled into themselves under an orange sky, a booming voice came from behind the clouds, for all the world to hear. The voice said, "IT'S HAPPENING! WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP IT?YOU COULD'VE PREVENTED THIS!" Overwhelmed by the nightmarish landscape and the booming voice from above, Obongo fell to the ground on his hands and knees, believing that the Lord had come to Orbis to deliver judgement to his insubordinate creation. He cried and begged for mercy without response, and feeling the blast wave of another nuclear detonation sweeping over him, he felt himself forcibly thrown upon his back, forced to look up at the blazing amber sky as fire and death rushed around him like a rushing mighty wind. It was in that sky that he saw not the face of God, but of an aging Republican representative from Texas. His eyes were replaced with mushroom clouds and a beam of light shone down from his mouth as he spoke. The light being focused on the humble leader, the voice quoted a verse of the Bible to him, "And I tell you that you are Obongo, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hell will not overcome it." And Obongo shook his head affirmatively, covering his face with his hands as he wept, wishing to be freed from this terrible fate. The winds stopped immediately and the heat dissipated. Obongo kept his face covered for a few more seconds before mustering the courage to remove his hands. When he did so he found himself staring at the ceiling of his bedroom, once again in the safety of his Presidential Palace in the center of New Washington. On that day he called for a national conference to be aired on all forms of available media to the people of Best America, and it was as follows, "My people, my people! I tell you this day that I have seen the end of our world, and that it will soon be upon us! But be not dismayed, my friends, for I have been granted supreme mercy and grace by our lord and savior Ron Paul, who has promised to spare our nation of the ravages of Armageddon if we would turn our eyes from the evils of this world and make this nation the rock upon which his church will be built! There is much work to be done in our nation, and our message must go beyond our borders, into the uttermost parts of the world! We must act quickly, for The Happening will be upon us at any moment, and we must be ready! All the people must know that there will be an end, and only those who are faithful to the blessed Paul will be saved! Join me, my people, as we offer thanksgiving and praise to the one who has saved us!" And on that day the multitudes of Best America were converted, and the Christian centers of worship were converted into cathedrals for the glory of Paul. A great many people came forth that day with fresh vision and understanding of the teachings of Paul, and would be ordained as the leaders of the new religious order that was to be headed by Obongo himself, the Paultifex of The Happening. Glory unto Paul, may he bring down nukes and happenings upon our enemies. The Happening is a doomsday cult that is anticipating an ultimate, final battle in the world of Orbis that will destroy civilization as we know it. Their understanding is that only those who adhere to the teachings of our Lord Paul will be saved, and membership is currently open to anyone who is receptive towards his message. Edited August 27, 2015 by Obongo The Mighty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan the Bin Man Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 When the Happening arrives could you please book in advance. We will be willing to work overtime to dispose of ash and rubble, provided it is placed in the correct bins. Rates may be extra depending on the amount of trips required. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMERICAN HERO Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 (edited) ALL HAIL PAUL, SON OF THE ALMIGHTY BALD EAGLE. PRAISE BE TO HIS PROPHET OBONGO. Edited August 27, 2015 by AMERICAN HERO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyoko Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 Good lord I thought I left this shit behind in waw Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan the Bin Man Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 Good lord I thought I left this !@#$ behind in waw Well, it is our job to take what you throw away, so it probably got nicked form our rubbish dump. We can't afford proper fences for the dump yet. Or diggers. Or to buy the land. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lunin Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 i think i'm a fatalist in a sense that i accept and anticipate my end, but i don't think i could be a doomsday worshipper. everything will end at some point, but i think i'm sort of a selfish person, and i perceive the world from my own little perspective and if something is so beyond me, like the end of the whole world, then it becomes sort of irrelevant Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurdanak Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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