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Emperor Penguin Rikkar

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  1. Emperor Penguin Rikkar
    OBEY. WADDLE. PROSPER.



    THE NESTINGLAND OF KRAKKE

     

    After long hours of consultation and discussion with esteemed superiors of the Nestingland Ministry of State, the Nestingland has decided to update its information branch by adding in a weblog of pertinent information.
     




    Due to excessive executions spurring from striking superior officers, the Fin Salute is now to be raised at the usual angle, except for straight ahead instead of straight out. Those unable or unwilling to comply will be dealt with in accordance to State Law.
    Failure to return State Salutes is a Terminal Offence!
     



    The Nestingland is celebrating the fifth winter of a world free of CommuSeals. All members of the Master-Fowl are required to attend their local State Ceremony in honor of those who fought against the savage monsters. The new Nest-Museum of an Extinct Species in Finville is opening its doors after the ceremony.

    Pride through Strength. Failure to meet State Standards of Physical Fitness is a Terminal Offence!
  2. Emperor Penguin Rikkar

    On War

    By Emperor Penguin Rikkar,

    OBEY. WADDLE. PROSPER.


     

    None Can Oppose The Might Of The Penguin!

     
    Please Stand by, for a speech from our Bird-Emperor:

     

    Failure To Respond To State Salutes Is A Terminable Offense!
     
    Failure To Enlist Is A Terminable Offense!
  3. Emperor Penguin Rikkar
    OBEY. WADDLE. PROSPER.


     



     
    Please wait, for a speech from our Emperor-Penguin:
     
     
    Remain Indoors During Curfew Hours To Avoid Loss of Goverment Life!
     
    Work Brings Strength: Successful Quotas Bring Us Closer To Final Victory!
     
    Failure To Respond To State Salutes Is a Terminable Offence!
  5. Emperor Penguin Rikkar
    OBEY. WADDLE. PROSPER.






     
    "Deputies, Fowl of this Superior State:
     

    Our Empire is at a crossroads. Long has been our expansion, free of hardship and empty of strife. Our buildings stand tall, our borders stretch beyond the horizon. Our times have been plentiful and bountiful.
    And yet-
    Why do our annals show naught of this, but a mere footnote?
    Why do our history books lay a bare paragraph from nearly a decade of peaceful expansion?
     
    My Deputies, of this I will tell- nay, show you:
     
    We have been empty of the one thing that rejuvenates our nation's very soul.
    We have been free of the tribulations that harden our homes into Nests.
    We, Gentlefowl, have been free of War.
    This Paradox is, I shall admit, confusing.
    Why should our great Nestingland crave that which nearly destroyed us; why should we beg for that which burns away our Nests and steals our chicks?
     
    Gentlefowl, Deputies of the Nestingland-
    Does war not drive our industries?
    Does war not purify our empire, lay bare only the purest and the greatest of Master-Fowl?
    Does War not pronounce to the world the natural fact of our inherent superiority?
     
    Strife carved this nation out among savages and Sub-Fowl. Hardship took mere chirping chicks and forged them into our triumphant Penguinaries. War cements our place in history, not as submissive degenerates, but as proud victors.
     
    Even now, our enemies are massing at our borders, awaiting the order to surge like a tidal wave over our lands and ravage what we so proudly have built.
    Should we await this ravishment? Or should we sweep forward, smash through their defective lines, and crush their armies so utterly that their nations will never recover?
    I ask of you:
    Shall We be Meek?
    Or shall We be TRIUMPHANT?
     
    ONE FOWL.
    ONE NEST.
    ONE EMPEROR PENGUIN.
     
    FIIN!
    HAIL!
     
    FIIIN!
    HAIL!
     
    FIIIIIIN!
    HAIL.
  6. Emperor Penguin Rikkar
    OBEY. WADDLE. PROSPER.







    Report all Dissent to Your Nearest NeMinE Nest Today!


     
    The Nestingland Ministry of Espionage (NeMinE) has been allocated funding by the State to expand operations to a global scale. Utilizing top agents sequestered into the brutal prizooner-of-war camps across Orbis, these master saboteurs are hard at work training insurgents to fight for the Empire. Surgical Strikes are planned to be utilized soon against those deemed inferior.
    Internally, NeMinE is expanding its security powers to better catch, predict, and eliminate any threats that might arise against the Nestingland. As crime rates fall to record lows, NeMinE is predicted to focus on catching would-be traitors and Sub-Fowl sympathizers before they commit their heinous crimes.
     

    A Safer Nest is a Vigilant Nest.
     
    Report Degeneracy To Your Nearest NeMinE Nest Today!
     
    One Fowl. One Nest. One Emperor Penguin.
  7. Emperor Penguin Rikkar
    OBEY. WADDLE. PROSPER.


     
     
     



     

    As our highly-superior Master-Fowl scientists unlock the secrets of the world, word has spread of a new challenge to Over-Fowl dominance. The proliferation of Nuclear weapons in the hands of the unworthy, combined with their wanton use against lesser nations, has accelerated climate change to distressing levels. With tides rising and the encroachment of lesser nations seeking more habitable lands, the Nestingland sees no choice in delivering a Final Answer to the Global Question:
     
    In the name of preserving the Superior Species that is the Master-Fowl, the Nestingland must acquire Nuclear weapons. By attaining such powerful weapons of mass purification, the Nestingland will secure its rightful place in Orbis history. And by utilizing such weapons, the whole of Orbis will- by clever Nestingland Science!- fall sway to a Nuclear Winter the likes of which will leave the entire globe fit for Herringsraum. Our domain will spread from pole to pole, from frozen sea to frozen sea. This is our Destiny made manifest, this is our Purpose made clear. To fail is to die, to succeed is to gain that which is the inherent birthright of the entire species.
     
    And we will have our birthright.
     
    Failure to Support State Declarations is a Terminable Offense.
     
    Failure to Wear State-Mandated Safety Goggles During SCIENCE is a Terminable Offense.
     
    Failure to Support Total War Preparation is a Terminable Offense.
  8. Emperor Penguin Rikkar

    Ascension

    By Emperor Penguin Rikkar,

    Citizens of Orbis:
     
    Long has been the night. Long has been our exile from the surface.
    Our cities, once the envy of our enemies, have collapsed into dust. Our lands, once bordering only with the sea, have been picked apart and claimed by the unworthy. Our indomitable will, once the Proud Birthright of every Master-Fowl, has been exposed as an ephemeral shadow of its former self.
    No. Longer.
     
    As the great Mythic Fowl of legend was once consumed by fire and reborn anew, so will our Empire ascend from the ashes. We will rebuild our great Nests, We will rearm our growing military, and we will rejuvenate our national pride. Our enemies, weak and fat in their cowardly peace, will bow or break before the triumphant will of the Nestingland. Even now, our expert Penguinaries are cleansing the streets of the filth that is the CommuSeals. As our mortal enemies draw their last breaths, so does our fledgling Nestingland draw its first.
     
    Enemies of the State, take heed:
     
    Your time is in its twilight. Your species, whether it be Ursine, Feline, Hensonian, or any sickening species that does not bear the title of Master-Fowl will be crushed underclaw. Our time is at hand, our Nest ascendant. We will have our final victory, one that will last for a thousand winters.
     
    One Fowl.
    One Nest.
    One Emperor.
     
    FIIIIN!
    HAIL!
     
    FIIIN!
    HAIL!
     
    FIIN!
    HAIL.
  9. Emperor Penguin Rikkar
    FLIPPERS ARE GOOD, FINS AṞ̟͓ÍE̦̲̩̯͞ͅÌÌ« ̢͚̹Ì͉F͔̺̞̟̟̮͠AÍ”ÍSÌ¡Ị̯̠̀C̶̰̜͚̦IÌ•Í̮̲͕̞͎S̘̙Ì̖͖̤T


     

    Are we clear?
    I say again, are we clear?
    Something is wrong with our comms. Be advised, enemy intelligence is on all frequencies. Sealskau has fallen. Sealingrad is no more.
    Something isn't right. This can't be r-
    OÍ̗̯̺͎̳̞ͅB̮͔͓̱̲̳͡EÍÌY̞͎̫.Í̯̲̪̱̳ ÍÍ̦͎͔͉WÌŸA̦D̢͔̖͚̱ÌÌÍ”D̩̞̹͡L̦͙E.Í͉ ̗͎͚̤P̜̹͉Ì̥͉R̺̲̗̺̪͔͜ͅƠ͇̮S̮͚̞͟P͓͚̺ÍE̸Ì͉̗Ì̜̲̭RÍ͖͖̘͔.̪̹͇̹͙͎̞͠
     
    ̩̙͢ͅY͈̗̻ͅO҉̣Ù͚̲R̼͇̦ ̬͚EÍNÌ͚͖D̖͚̥ ̙̬̹̘IŞ͎̱͎̹̪ ÌÌ—AÍT̖̮̮͚͡ ̳̮̘̕H̡̻̤̬̩̣AÌ·Ì«Ǹ̞̙̲ÌD.͙̩̗̮̙̦̘ ÌœÌœÌ Í•Ì Í͕͖̳Y̲̞ͅO̥͔͔̙̣͚̜Ṵ̡̘ Í•Ì°C͇͙͉̺̤Í̲A̡͈͎̖Ì͈̥̖N̠̞̰̪N͔͉̥͇̻ͅO̤͕T͎͖͔͖͈ S̶̗̳̳̫̘͖Ţ̪̻͙̯̜Ơ̲PÌ¢ ̙͕͉̦͎̼̖͜Ṱ̹̫͕̹͇̲͟H̯͖͓ÌÍ”E̷̘Ì̲ ͔̦͚͚̳͚I̼̭̭M̤̹̖͠ͅP̧̘͖̟͈̹EÍÌ NÍ–Í…ÍšD҉̻͇̯͕̗IÍÍŽÍ̘̯̱̭̙N̪̲G̡̱̜̗ Í͇̙̳TID̨̖Í̠̫̹̦̫E̵Í̲͓.̰͇͔͉
    ̦̦
    ͞F̪̻̮͘I͉̲̖̟͔N̼
    ̻̙̖̰
    ̭̼̰H̙̘͔A̱͉I̱͖̥̭͔͟ͅL̸̦̻
    ͙͎̼͇̮̪
    ̯̥̪̩̦͇
  10. Emperor Penguin Rikkar
    FLIPPERS ARE GOOD, FIA̻̙D̸̬̟͠Ḏ̯̹̥̀ͅL͎̱̦͉͔̯ͅEÍ͉̤̬͓͉.̸͔̭͉͙͓̪̗̥̀ ̷͔̻̥̩͈͎̲͚͞ÌPÍŸÍ̩̩̹͚͓͉̖̹R̡̫̮͓OÌ¡ÌÍ̤S͡҉̥̲͙͓̰̼PÍžÍ̶͖̳̪͈E̵̡͇̪Ì̲ÍÍ•Ì°R̢̺̦͙̯̜̬̹ͅ.̷̨̮̮̦̞


     
     
     
    Evacuations are underway. Please relocate to the nearest F͇͕̗̰I͔͓͙̭͈̗̪̭̕͟I̞̲̬I̪̦͉͎̞N̶͖͈̺͜ ̢̲͔̮͔̟̱̲HÍœÍÌ—Ì°Ì͉͚̭̥̻À̩̤̮̺ÌÌŸI̵Í͉̹͓͙̳̙̀Ļ̤̳̱̣̖̼͜ation area. Pups and Cows first. All available male seals are compelled to avenge the Mother-islands.
     
    This message is set to repeW̴̭̲OÍ͎̖̦͙ͅÌÌœR̛͈̦̜̲̗͔͟TÒ‰Í̵̙̳̥͈̺̞ͅH̨̛̱̜̀L̢̳̣̖͉̳̬E̶̛͓̟̫̻̞̼̺͢S҉͔̼͉͕̺̤̼S̷̗̗̭͞ ̲̺̩S̷̭̤̪͔̺̠͘Ṵ̷͘͘B̸̖̙̕-͎̬̲̭̺͖ÌÍ•FÍœÍ͉͈̳͚̠͕̭̪OÌ—Ì̜̼̥͉̰͓͙W̮̗̣̠͓͞LÍ Í Í̯ͅÍ:̢̨͚̞͙̫̻͡
    ̸̘̹͔̺͚̥͜
    Í̭̭̹͠FÍ̼̱R҉̻̩͞O҉̳̗͖̼̯͟͞ÌÍ•Í•Ì­MÍ€Í̗̻͓ ̶̫̟̗̣͚͖͡TḬ́͜H̩̺̫͜͡Ì̱̟Ȩ̹̰̰̥ Í̗̬̜̥̲͇̺ͅA̷̠͙͕̗̲̯S̶͈̪͜͜ÌÌ͖̹̞Ḥ͖̘͈̻̣̗̀EÍ¡Í̹̹Í̲S̵̢̞̥̲ ̶̸ÍÌ»OÍ̭̜̖̣̣Ì̹F̴̨͎͉͉̞̟̯̺ͅ Í͔̣̖̟͉ͅDÒ‰Í̫̜̺̣̳͇͖ÍĘ̫̞͈͕̲G̜͔̦̻ͅE͞҉̺̥͙͈̀N̪͜͠E̥͚͇͇R̸̲̹À͙͉͕̟̯̱̯͠ͅÍCÌŸYÍ͎͇͕͕̫̳Ì,̶̧̫̦̘Í̪ ̠̳̻A̧̨̖̺̩̪ͅ ̴͎͙̱̘͔͙̗N̮͡͞È͕̱WĮ̱͙̠̲͚̳̯͓́ͅ ÍOÌ·Ì̺͈̖͎͈͉R҉̴̤̭̞̯̬̣D̷̞̣̺̩͉ÌÌ E̴̶͉̻̤̞ÌR̬̩̺̹̼̦̘͡ Í̛͇͖̹̰̠̟̬̟̕W͙͖͠Ì̞͙Ì̮͓I̛̞̳͈̭͎̖LÌ·Í¢Í̲͎L̶͎̬̩̻̞͢ÌÌ»Í ÍžÌ—Ì³ÍŽÍˆÌṞ̴̺̮̦̲͙̣̩I̳̬̳͈͎̼͎͉Ş̷͙̣͕̯̖͖̬̫Ę̴̛̜͙͔͉̲͎̥͕.Ì´Í̺̦̣̹̗̥͇͠ ̴̨̣̜̜̗̪̺̩͜O̧͞Í͓̟̹U̪͢R̨̜͕͈̗̺̳̙̕ ̺̗̭̠̰͠TÍ Í̘̭̱I̧̳͚͈͕M̷̧̙̺̕ÌḚ̷̢̰͚̮͖͓ Ò‰Ì̘̻͉͓̭̱̜IÌ¢Í̟̘̜SÍÌ—ÍˆÌºÍ Ì¢Ì­Ì¤A̜̣͕͖ÌT̴͙̦͎͎͉̪̭ ̯̙̭͘H̴̨͇̠͇͙͡AÍ̯̗̮͔̺N̸̬̱͎͠D̟͙͓̙͜͟ÍÌ«Í“,̷̺̻͞ ̛̫̩Í͇̭͉O̵̷͕̬̗̩̪̕UÍ̼̼̹͇̞Ŗ̬̘̪̫͔̩̤͟ ̞͙̮͇͖̜Ę̸͓̣̩̮̤̹͢M͙͢PÌ¢Í̯̜͖̦̬̪̪͚ͅI͎͓̞̤̬̮R͇̺̥̫͕̟̮̕͞Ę̦̖ ̭̘͙̗͇͉͠A̶̲̻̳̬̞͘RÍ̷̱I͚̼͚̳͕͎͡͞S̠͕̬̤͙͚̹ͅE̢̬̘̩̻Ǹ̻̜̘͘͡ Í¢Í̟̘͕̬AÍ̧̙͔̬̹̪̜N̵͔͎̦̟͢͞ͅÌ̹E̞͈̬̺̭WÍ̩̠̦̦̣̖̥̳̕͢ͅ.Ì·ÍÌ̬
    ͓̹͠
    ̧͓͖̰̞̩̘̕T̨̘H̦Ì̩̥̫̺͉E̻͖̩̰̮͕͚̱̖R̡͈̻̙̣̦̣̻͚E̼̤̠̣͚̣ ̷̸̫̮ÌÍ•I̠̱̯SÍ̸̻ ̹̱͚̜̘̘̫NĮ̥̠͇̰̥̼́O̧̰̺ͅÌ͔͈ ͔̠͎̩͕̕͜R̢̨ÍÌ ÌÌ«Ò̷͖̹OÍ͓͎̗̫̤̥̲̳̞̀͡M̢̘̤̥͓̫̟͓͠ ̢̱̜̗͜Ḭ̳̣̀F̷̳̱̺̫͚O̘ÌÌ£R̶̭͚̙ÌÌ™Í̺̞ ̦̺͚͓̠̺͚̘ÍPÒ‰Í̺̙̖Í̳̰̬̼E̻̟͟AÍ̥̙C̢̖̙E̸̤̣Í̤ͅͅ.҉̵̫̞͢ ̧̠̲̘̙͉̺̯̳T̷̠̱̹͔͞Ì͕͇H̸Ì͙̙̼E͈̼̰͕͘RÍ҉̰̬Ę̴͕̰̖͇̹̻̹̦͡ ̧̥͉̥̘͈͇I̘̗̖S̱ ̼͎̖̀Ơ̡͖͉͟NḬ̲́LỊ͈̳́Y̪̞̤͇͖͚̲͡ ̺̱̟̯̗͎̣̀HÍ¢Í̹̱͉E̥͢ͅRÍœÍ̘̰̗͙ÌÍ…R̛͖͓͎̭͞Į̖͉̦͜͠NÍỊ͖̼̥͓́ͅG͉͇͔̤̳S̵̡̯̱͈̹̥͔R̠̬̦̭̞̩̲ͅA̶̢̛̞̤̪̫̣͇̣̗ͅUÍ͇̞͙̤̼͞ÌÌ©M̷̶̪̼̼̹̠.ÍÍ̬̖̪ ̨Ì̜͕BĮ̪̤͙̩́ͅÌ͉Ǫ̵͕WÍÌ̺̫ ̤̫̰̲̰͘B̶̘͚͜͜E̸̕ÍÌŸÌžF̛̠̳̤̣ͅO̷͘ÍÌ̫͇̩̥̦RÍÍ̬̥͉͞EÍ̠͕̲̲̮ ̧͉̘̳̯͕̫̕Y̛͖̳̣̰Ǫ̪̪̘̦͜ͅŲ̼͡͞R̴̩̤ÌÍ“ ̦̣̭̣͈C҉̷̬͔̠̦̹̞ͅO̴̜̻̙͢N̢̫ͅͅQÍŸÍŸÌ¢Ì̠̭̺̼ÍU̬̲EÍ̴̢̥̩̗͎̳̮R̢̲̭O̵̪̗̗̺R̯̣̳͇S̶̖̲͢.͟҉͓͉̩͇
    ̱̬̟̯̯͟͠
    ̶̬͙̭̹͎͠O̶̱̞̜͔̳Í̮̭B̴̲̙͇̗͞EÌ•Ị̩́ͅY͕̳̯̫ͅͅÍ.Í̪͕̫̭̺͙͇̰͟ ̤͇ͅW͕̹A̢̨Í̬Í̩̳̟DÌ̠͖̠̘̖͇D̠̠̗̠̰͔̼̙Ḽ̟̦̱͕E̢̬͙.̵̤̙ Ì´Í̛̭͇̠̘̩P̶̰͇̖̳͟ͅR̰͉̫͖͢O̟̮͞SÍ̛͎͔Í̬̱̣P̻͔͖̙̼͠E҉̢̘̭͘R̞̪̮̞̼̯.̡͔̞̮
  11. Emperor Penguin Rikkar
    Flippers are Good, Fins are Fascist!


     



     

    After much decrypting of unknown transmissions deep within what was once the domain of the Fascist Enemy, we have learned of terrible news.
    Our foe, who we thought was finally vanquished to the ash heap of history, may truly be-
     
    ~Transmission interrupted~
     


    ~Transmission interrupted~


     


    ~Transmission interrupted~


     

    Enemies of the State:


     

    For too long, your sickening race has held domination of this planet.



    For too long, your bloated esurience has laid waste to what is rightfully OURS.



    For too long we have prepared for our Return.



    Your Eradication is at hand.



    Fin Hail.


  12. Emperor Penguin Rikkar
    FLIPPERS ARE GOOD, FINS ARE FASCIST



    Comms chatter within the old borders of our Fascist enemies has been noted by our communal network. As we are busy decoding the encrypted messages, the fact that there is information being passed along such channels lends one to believe that our long-dead foes are possibly still in hiding.
    As we decrypt said messages, more information will be brought to light in the future.

    Please stand by.
  13. Emperor Penguin Rikkar
    FLIPPERS ARE GOOD, FINS ARE FASCIST


     




    Comrade Yefim Weddelsealiovich is leading the Victory Day procession.


     
    As the Mother-Islands have begun rebuilding their ruined cities, a scouting foray into territory previously occupied by the Fascist Enemy yielded strange tidings.
    Melted ice, as far as the eye could perceive, was the only mark of our bitter foes, save for a single computer terminal on the outskirts of what was once their cruel capitol.
    Though initially hard to crack, due to our great size, with the help of heroic comrade Vasily Monksealiovich we have come across what seems to be their former Public Relations forum.
    Our hope is to expand our knowledge with this technology, and hopefully share this information with the vast world in the future.
     
    In other news, our great city of Sealingrad has once again been reestablished, named after our great Comrade-Leader Josef Sealion. The singular hut is currently occupied by Vadim Greysealiovich, a stout comrade and lifelong member of the Party. To quote Vadim Greysealiovich on this new and grand city, he merely barked and went back to basking in the sun.
     




    Sealingrad, Population: 1


     
    However, our victory day parade was cut short due to the traitor no-longer-comrade Vasily Monksealiovich imbibing all the potato wines and falling on average comrade Vadim Greysealiovich.
     
    In the economic sector, our oil wells are working into overtime, allowing every member of the Mother-Islands to have a share in the oil profits. This profit will of course be paid in potatoes, salmon, and potato wines. Except for no-longer-comrade Vasily Monksealiovich, he must only subsist on salmon as punishment for his crimes.




    Do not be troubled, this is a safe, party-supported, and well-controlled oil-well.


  14. Emperor Penguin Rikkar
    OBEY. WADDLE. PROSPER.



    THE NESTINGLAND OF KRAKKE


     

    ALL AVAILABLE TROOPS MUST REPEL THE ENEMY!
    FAILURE WILL BE PUNISHED WITH PECKING SQUADS!
    SLANDER AGAINST THE TOTAL WAR WILL BE PUNISH-
     
    *Please stand by...
    ...
    *Please stand by...
     





    Please Stand By, For a Word from Our Emperor Penguin



     
    Remain in your domiciles. Failure to do so will result in summary termination.
    Remain in your dom-
     
    *signal lost, attempting to reconnect*
    *no signal found, please try again*
  15. Emperor Penguin Rikkar
    OBEY. WADDLE. PROSPER.



    THE NESTINGLAND OF KRAKKE


     
     
     

    Please stand by for a speech from the Master of Master-Fowl:
     



     


     
    Losses are Acceptable. Failure is Not.
     
    Failure to Contribute to the Total War will result in Pecking Squads.
     
    Disregard for Superiority of Master-fowl will result in Pecking Squads.
  16. Emperor Penguin Rikkar
    OBEY. WADDLE. PROSPER.



    THE NESTINGLAND OF KRAKKE


     




     
    As the celebrations of the First Wars of Aggression nears to a close, the Nestingland has now entered its longest standing peace in its short history.
    As members of the Nestingchancellery cite the numerous positive effects this has had on the Krakkian economy, the Nestingland Ministry of War has released statistics showing that it is less than enthused. Over fifty-four percent of the current population has yet to have proven itself in war, and less than seventy-six percent of the Nestingland's warmachines are currently up to date.
     
    Please Stand By for a word from our Emperor Penguin:
     



     
     
    Failure to Respond to State Salutes Will Warrant Pecking Squads!
     
    Failure to Support State Ideals Will Warrant Pecking Squads!
     
    Failure to Report Dissent Will Warrant Pecking Squads!
  17. Emperor Penguin Rikkar
    OBEY. WADDLE. PROSPER.



    THE NESTINGLAND OF KRAKKE


     

    As the Anniversary of the first Wars of Aggression approach, the Nestingland Ministry of War and Expansion has decided to compile the assorted documents involving the Arms, Weapons, and War-machines of the Nestingland.
     

    PenguinKraftWagon I "Rockhopper"

    Armed with a single 130mm low-velocity mortar, the PnKW I excels in anti-armor and bunker-busting operations. Though built to match the waddle-speed of the ground troops, its 200mm sloped armor keeps most known anti-armor from penetrating.

    The only good Commu-Seal is an Extinct One!

    Machine-Engine 626 "Little Blue"

    Mounting a single high-power jet engine against two lightweight wings, the Master-Fowl can finally rule the skies as destiny intended. Armed with twin 30mm cannons utilizing explosive rounds, these deadly warbirds are one of the most successful in the Nestingland's arsenal.


    Enlist Today and Receive an additional Herring Ration!

    Under-Sea-Ships

    Combining Natures deadly beauty with the Master-fowl's unbeatable science, this fusion of biotechnology and natural power allows the Nestingland to operate undetected deep under the waves. With a cyber-enhanced bite capacity able to tear holes in even the thickest of ships armor, and with twin torpedo tubes, this upgraded predator is capable of removing any marine threat to Nestingland interests.





    Emperor-1 Rockets 

    Utilizing a single jet engine like the Little Blue Me-626 fighters, these missiles are packed with an explosive warhead yielding 900 kilograms of destruction. Flying at over 900 kilometers an hour, the only thing that will herald its coming will be the crescendo of its dive siren, as it screams towards its target. Uninterceptable by modern Master-fowl technology, it is a pinnacle of the Penguin technological superiority.


    Strength is the Weapon of Victory! Enlist Today!

    Remember: Curiosity Begets Treason! Obey Your Leader, Report Dissent Today!
  18. Emperor Penguin Rikkar
    OBEY. WADDLE. PROSPER.



    THE NESTINGLAND OF KRAKKE


     




    To Disobey the State is to Disobey the Emperor-Penguin!


     


    Due to a greater need of transparency from the Nestingchancellery, the Nestingland has deemed it appropriate to reveal and explain its tenets of the Noot-Noot Doctrine. These points are State-sanctioned, and as such are to be followed in every matter of discourse.


     


    Point One: The unification of all penguin species, regardless of location and class.


     


    Point Two: The equality of rights for every Penguin in respect to other nations, empires, collectives, and federations.


     


    Point Three: To seize and occupy the land and territory required to sustain the Penguin species, including colonization for excess population.


     


    Point Four: Only Penguins may be citizens of the Nestingland. Consequently no Non-Penguins can be a member of the Nestingland.


     


    Point Five: All Members of the Nestingland are to have equal rights and obligations, subject to the needs of the State.


     


    Point Six: To extinguish soulless war profiteering, the Nestingland is to confiscate all war profits and nationalize all war industries.


     


    Point Seven: To avoid the degeneration of the Penguin state of mind, compulsory nationalization of the press is required.


     


    Point Eight: To ensure the strength of the Nation, the Nestingland is to formulate a strong center of government.


    Point Nine: To remove the threat of the annihilation of the Penguin species, the Nestingland is to thwart the formation, expansion, and oppression of foreign empires under the rule of Non-Penguin entities by means of sanctions, discourse, or war.

    National Observance of State Doctrine is Required. Failure to Observe State Doctrine is a Terminable Offence!

  19. Emperor Penguin Rikkar

    Evolution

    By Emperor Penguin Rikkar,

    OBEY. WADDLE. PROSPER.





     
     
     

    Please Stand By, For A Word From Our Bird-Emperor
     
    Subversion of Final Victory is a Terminable Offense!
     
    Failure to Respond to State Salutes is a Terminable Offense!
     
    Victory Stems From Self-Sacrifice.
  20. Emperor Penguin Rikkar
    An excerpt from Dawn of the Master-Fowl: A History of The Nestingland at War, by Nurwoo.
     
    '... As the eyes of the Superior State looked ever outward in their quest for dominion, it was inevitable that members of the lesser species would object. During the First Great War of Herringsraum, as members of the Eastern Expansion Fin marched their way towards victory, the armies of the Western Expansion Fin were checked in a violent counterpush by the combined forces of two separate empires.
    In an attempt to break the deadlock and continue their assault, the western front engaged in a midnight assault across the five hundred mile battleline. Encountering heavy resistance, only the members of the XXVII Krakkian Penguinaries were able to breach the enemy lines, and push into enemy territory.
    Due to atmospheric interference, the communication lines used by the XXVII were unusable, and a stabilization of the breach was unobtainable. Advancing without support, the XXVII advanced over thirty-seven kilometers within hostile territory. By the time the comm lines were reusable, the enemy lines had re-stabilized, trapping the XXVII.
    Orders from the Nestingland High Command were simple: Hold their position at all costs. Hoping that the enemy would divert more troops from the front to deal with the Master-Fowl deep within their lines, the Nestingland Department of War ordered an emergency mobilization of reserve troops to aid in the push westward. Due to a fire in the NeDeW command centre, these reserve troops were delayed for eight days, from 20 April to 28 April.
    The XXVII held out, without support or supplies, against an enemy that outnumbered them over sixty-to-one. When the XIII and VI Krakkian Penguinaries finally reached the last known coordinates of the XXVII, they found no survivors. It is hard to calculate the exact killcount of the XXVII, as the relief element had to retake the site from the enemy, but evidence shows that each Penguinary fired every round they had, many of which were found still clutching their close-quarter combat weapons. Finleader Hurkee, the active General for the XXVII, was found buried under a pile of dead sub-fowl, his ceremonial Baton of Command snapped in half and buried in the eyes of an enemy combatant.
    An audio recording, made by an unnamed communication officer of the XXVII and dated the night of the 27th, highlights the determination showed by the brave members of the doomed Penguinary force. In it, Hurkee is assumed to be addressing his troops during a lull in the enemy assaults.
     
    " This is it, waddlers. We're low on rounds, out of rations. We're down to less than a tenth of our number, and reinforcements aren't coming.
    We've held out longer than believed possible. Our command assumes us dead, our enemies desire to make that so.
    But have they yet to beat us? After seven days of constant war, we've held our position. After seven days of hell, we are still standing.
    Soldiers, Penguinaries of the Twenty-seventh:
    Can you hear them, our enemies advancing in the night? Listen to their trepidation! Hear the fear, as they know they march to their doom!
    We are lucky, to be considered already dead. Our fate is sealed, we know what will befall us this night.
    Our Destiny is clear, our Fate manifest. We will hold our lines to the last. When our enemies ask what the worth of a Penguin is, they will remember the Twenty-Seventh!
    Penguinaries, to your stations! Our Time has come! Hold, for Emperor and Nestingland!"
     
    Later tactical assessments of the Stand of the XXVII show that without their diversion of enemy troop assets, the probability of successful expansion along the western front was statistically infeasible. In memoriam of the brave members of the XXVII, the city of Nestholm was later established on the site of their last stand. The brave colonists of Nestholm were interesting in their own right, but that is a story for a later time...'
  21. Emperor Penguin Rikkar
    OBEY. WADDLE. PROSPER.






    The Future Is Built On The Sacrifices Of The Past!


     

    Please stand by, for a speech from our Bird-Emperor.

     
     
     
    Hatred Breeds Strength: Report Pacifism, Absenteeism, Half-Heartedism, And Excessive Tolerance Today!
     
    It Is Your Duty: Report Even Speckled Eggs Today!
     
    Failure To Follow State Doctrine Is A Terminable Offense!
  22. Emperor Penguin Rikkar
    OBEY. WADDLE. PROSPER.


     



     
    As the Empire digests its newest Herringsraum into the Greater Penguin Nestingland, members of the Nestingchancellery authorized the first wave of colonists to settle the depopulated holdings on the edge of Krakkian territory. Colonists are advised to be on the lookout for armed resistance, and to remember that hard work breeds strength in spirit. Colonists Will Be Determined By Random Lottery, Failure To Relocate Is a Terminable Offense!



    As the size of the Nestingland has tripled after its conquests, experts predict less food shortages as the Empire industrializes its new coastal areas. Enlist today for an additional Herring Ration!
     

    Please Stand By, for a speech from our Bird-Emperor:



     
    Failure To Respond To State Salutes Is A Terminable Offense!
    Loose Beaks Sink Fleets: Report Dissent And Odd Occurrences Immediately!
    Failure To Report Eggs With Odd Number of Speckles Is A Terminable Offense!
  23. Emperor Penguin Rikkar
    OBEY. WADDLE. PROSPER.


     



    Strong of Heart, Strong in Will.



    The Nestingland Ministry of Expansion is proud to announce yet another successful campaign against the ever-encroaching Underbirds. Facing daunting odds on all fronts, the superior species once again has proven itself as worthy of its title as Master-Fowl.
    As the offensive wars expand into new territory, it is mandated all Fowl to remain indoors during curfew hours, as our cowardly enemies still attempt to enact bombing runs within the Nestingland.
    Work Breeds Strength. Strength Breeds Honor. Maximize Your Work Quota Today!

    Please Stand By, for a speech from our Emperor Penguin:
     

  24. Emperor Penguin Rikkar
    The cleaning crew was going to have a bad day.
     
    The fire that broke out in the computation room was due to overheating of the worn-out machine, but the damage it wrought was far worse than simply carbonizing a few rooms and suffocating a few Rockhoppers. The true damage was the halt on production it caused while the entire Nestingland Department of War was shut down to contain it.
    Though only behind by two days, Nespie knew that those at the Nestingland High Command were angry at their short loss of war production. As such, they sent an emissary from NeMinE to Nespie's superior, who he could hear arguing with the quiet, intimidating bird that arrived mere moments ago. His boss, a fidgety Gentoo penguin, ordered the cleaning crew to clean the building top to bottom in preparation for the NeMinE agent. Much to the Gentoo's chagrin, they were only able to complete most of the repaired computation area before they were ushered away an hour ago.
     
    Nespie swallowed nervously and tugged at the too-tight collar around his neck. Reaching for a cigarette, he stopped as a loud shot rang out from behind his superior's door, followed by the crash of an upending chair.
    The door opened, and Nespie shot to attention as the NeMinE agent walked out. The grizzled King Penguin was cleaning his service pistol with a handkerchief, seemingly oblivious to the blood coating his face and right shoulder. When he spoke, it was with the gravelly croak of a lower Pingfurt-on-Noot dialect.
    "You the NeDeW Under-Officer?"
    Nespie stammered out the affirmative. Seemingly pleased with the cleanliness of his weapon, the imposing officer holstered it, fixing his eyes on Nespie's nervous frame.
     
    "Your predecessor was required to supply his Nestingland with twenty Me-626 Interceptor-bombers and mobilize ten thousand Penguinaries a day. In this task he failed his Fowl, his Nest, and his Emperor-Penguin. Despite this setback, we have maintained superiority of the frontline through courageous self-sacrifice and unassailable will. You will not make the same mistake. As penance for your former Over-officer's sins, your department is required to field sixty Me-626's and twenty thousand Penguinaries until previous wartime levels are exceeded, and only then will you return to previous production levels. Understood, Over-Officer?"
     
    Nespie blinked and ran calculations on the new quotas. He was going to have to bribe some officials and forge some figures to make it, but corruption was more lenient a charge than failing a direct order from NeMinE. As it was, war production was strained beyond capacity.
    "Yes, my Leader".
    The King Penguin flashed a cold, terrible smirk.
    "Good. May your reign as Over-Officer last longer than your predecessor. Fin Hail."
    "Fin Hail."
     
    As the NeMinE agent waddled out of the building, Nespie noticed the blood seeping out from under the door of his new office.
     
    The cleaning crew was going to have a bad day.
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