Emperor Penguin Rikkar
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Posts posted by Emperor Penguin Rikkar
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"Gentlefowl:
Today, from the relative safety of our isolated nation, we have witnessed the sub-fowl nations of this world destroy each other in a futile attempt to deem which of their failed city-states is superior.
Across Orbis, cities are crumbling. Missiles carve silky scars across the skies, and tanks crush the weak under their armored treads.
But where does that leave us? Where, in this grand scheme of destruction, does the Master fowl make its stand?
Why, we make our stand on this new-burned soil!
The Nestingland has bided its time. Its enemies have exhausted themselves tearing each other apart. Now, as the underbirds wearily march home, they will find their lands under a new banner!
The time of Humanity has passed into its twilight; the time of the Master-fowl has come!
We will expand, we will achieve victory after victory as we have time and again!
Nothing can stop us, for we are the TRUE OVER-FOWL!"
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As bears begin to mount their assault on the Iceberg, a diminutive little blue penguin begins to churn a handcrankable siren. A line of small rockhopper penguins march out to repel, clad only in steel helmets and armed with cheap bolt-actions. A ways behind the line stands the Emperor Penguin, with a speaking cone in fin.
"Enemies of the Nestingland: Your time is short. Withdraw from Krakkian soil or face eradication as only the Master-fowl can give."
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The Iceberg drifts onward, devoid of power, its once-proud flag a shattered ruin from standing too high amid the ship-to-ship carnage.
The Penguins stare in silence at the carnage all around them. A sailor of one of the ships, desperate for aid, partially crawls up on the iceberg. A small shadow blots out his face, and he looks up into the black visage of the Emperor Penguin. Placing a webbed foot on the sailors head, the vicious bird forces the sub-fowl underwater.
Once done with the deed, the Master-bird callously wipes his foot on the ice, and waddles back to the command post.
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A Meter-tall Emperor Penguin. No depiction yet has the ability to capture the pent-up rage and hatred of a power-hungry tyrant stuck in the body of a cute and diminutive penguin, however.
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The Nestingland wishes to extend its gratitude with foreign powers understanding the great strain such a destiny has upon the True Over-fowl. Dissent has been noted, and the information has been passed on to NeMinE.
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OBEY. WADDLE. PROSPER.
THE NESTINGLAND OF KRAKKE
CURRENT AFFAIRS
After successfully finishing construction of its newest city of Pengugrad, the Emperor Penguin has decreed that all international travel to and from the Nestingland is to be hereby halted. Deeming Sub-fowl taint as the root of Penguin degeneracy, the Nestingland leaders have initiated the Eiswall protocol, which is designed to keep foreign interactions with the Master-fowl to a minimum.
Opposition to State decrees are a Terminal Offense!
E-1 rocket production is on the rise, as the Nestingland awaits its chance to unleash its terrifying might against any who dare to oppose the ascension of the Over-Fowl. Few will stand against our Wonder-weapons, and those that try will fall beneath our webbed feet!
Success stems from Courage. Courage stems from Obedience. Enlist today and receive an additional Herring ration!
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OBEY. WADDLE. PROSPER.
THE NESTINGLAND OF KRAKKE
CURRENT AFFAIRS
The Nestingland is pleased to announce its latest development in its arsenal of destruction. Behold, the Emperor-1 Rocket, or E-1!
Utilizing a single jet engine like the Little Blue Me-626 fighters, these missiles are packed with an explosive warhead yielding 900 kilograms of destruction. Flying at over 900 kilometers an hour, the only thing that will herald its coming will be the crescendo of its dive siren, as it screams towards its target. Uninterceptable by modern Master-fowl technology, it is a pinnacle of the Penguin technological superiority.
Our Victory springs only from our determination. Death to the Sub-fowl, Glory to the Master-birds!
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The Nestingland stands side by side with the Swedes. Death to the Sub-fowl!
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An Iceberg floats by, sporting a large, pompous flag and a small, even more pretentious penguin.
"Hail Sub-fowl! This ship is to be commandeered for the good of the Nestingland, in the name of transporting its Emperor Penguin on to more unclaimed Herringsraum!"
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OBEY. WADDLE. PROSPER.
THE NESTINGLAND OF KRAKKE
CURRENT AFFAIRS
The Emperor Penguins have released a public decree of existence for the Nestingland Ministry of Espionage, or NeMinE. This new agency is based upon a national need for clandestine maneuvering against foreign Sub-fowl threats, both outside and within its own borders. NeMinE agents are expert infiltrators and insurgents, trained to blend in with refugee Master-Fowl which are captured by Underfowl nations to be placed in Prizooner camps for their viewing pleasure. Thousands of such agents are already in place across Orbis, awaiting the call to begin their assaults in the name of Final Victory.
Sickened by this blatant abuse of the True Master-Fowl? Enlist now for an additional Herring ration!
In other news, the first strikes against the Commu-Seal Mother-islands have been highly successful. Forced depopulation of the outside islands are at 88%.
Remember, daily curfew is from 21.00 until 5.00. Failure to comply will result in a summary Pecking Squad.
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OBEY. WADDLE. PROSPER.
THE NESTINGLAND OF KRAKKE
CURRENT AFFAIRS
The Nestingland is pleased to announce that Master-fowl birthrates are skyrocketing, which coincides perfectly with the new areas of land annexed from neighboring Sub-fowl territories. Unemployment rates have dropped to record lows, with the new government patrols relocating the dregs of society to the frontier to aid the Nestingland as productive members of society. Failure to notify Government officials of errant culls is a Terminal Offense!
The Sea-fin arm of the Nestingland military is proud to announce the completion of the first squadron of U-ships. Unaccustomed to fighting on an even footing against their superior foes, CommuSeal raids have decreased tenfold. Expected strikes against the CommuSeal Mother-islands are expected within the year. Thirsting to crush enemies of the State? Enlist now for an additional Herring Ration!
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I don't think I ever said that I would get away from my past actions. Also, I am tired of people telling me I'm annoying. Deal with it.
They ARE dealing with you being an annoyance...
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The Nestingland applauds the use of force in order to keep sub-fowl contained. The only thing Underfowl understand is violence, whether it be used for or against them.
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Hail Kimjongil, and may you seize much Herringsraum!
Waddle-waddle
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Well I mean, I've outlawed all forms of zoo's in forentia. And there are no penguins here in forentia, all that were here I had taken to wherever they wanted to be taken. For most of them, it was someplace cold. But one lives with me, as any equal human would. It even feeds itself.
The Master-fowl will be on the lookout for any stray Master-fowl outside of our borders. Any nation that shuts down the inumane Prizooner camps is to be commended upon. Keep up the good work.
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The Nestingland is incensed by this bigoted act as it does not include an equality of species. Once again it seems to affirm that the sub-fowl community will alienate penguinkind at every available opportunity.
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How do you protect those exposed sinewy cables from rust and torpedo fire as opposed to the rest of the vessel?
Looks damn skippy, though!
The cables are plugged directly into the Whales systems, and coated in natural Orca fat harvested from the areas emptied by biomechanics.
As for protection from Torpedo fire, as being a biomechanical being it is hypothesized that U-Ships should be able to outmaneuver most torpedoes at mid to long range. At close range, being a sub-fowl it is deemed expendable in favour of ejecting the pilot.
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Choice of Damnations is the card to shove into any black deck.
Other than that, just been derping around since Innistrad came out. Commander is where its at!
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OBEY. WADDLE. PROSPER.
THE NESTINGLAND OF KRAKKE
CURRENT AFFAIRS
Top Master-fowl scientists have unraveled the secret of submersible warfare via the careful application of Jet-engines to surgically domesticated Orcas, in the newest turn of events. Piloted by a single little blue penguin, armed with torpedoes and a mechanically enhanced version of their already-powerful bite, these Under-Sea-Whale-Weapons will dominate everything in the path of the Penguin's Destiny. The first U-ship has been unveiled, with more being assembled presently.
Curious about eradicating sub-fowls in the name of the Nestingland? Enlist in the military today and receive an additional Herring ration!
The Nestingland is expanding at an unprecedented rate, signifying that the true destiny of the Master-fowl is almost upon us. Soon, the Nestingland will dominate the continent, sea to shining sea. Seditious acts against the True Destiny is a Terminal Offense!
Politically, upon treasonous questioning by citizens about the fact that a penguin's appendage is called a flipper and not a fin, the Ministry for the Supreme-Fowl has decreed that henceforth all mentions of flippers when referring to the penguin anatomy is to be replaced with the term fin. The executions of the insurrectionists were swift and voluntary. Failure to support State decrees is a Terminal Offense!
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The Nestingland likes this idea of saying a raid is not a raid for silly reasons. We might steal that one for use in the future.
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The Nestingland will denounce the use of nuclear weapons and missiles with President Bob for as long as it takes top Rockhopper scientists to engineer their own versions in the name of Penguinkind.
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OBEY. WADDLE. PROSPER.
THE NESTINGLAND OF KRAKKE
CURRENT AFFAIRS
The Nestingland is pleased to announce the foundation of its fifth city, Finville. Though primary a fishing and commercial city, Krakkian Military Command is actively considering a portion of the city for its own classified uses. Inquiring about the military sector is a Terminal Offense!
The Airweapon arm of the Nestingland military has been currently expanded to capacity. Six squadrons of Little Blue Finjets are currently awaiting orders, with more to be formed in the future. Got what it takes to fly a weapon for the Nestingland? Enlist now and receive an additional Herring Ration!
War material production has reached a surplus capacity. The Nestingland is currently unsure as to what to do with the surplus munitions stored away, but potential exportation is not out of the question. Inquiring about National Affairs without proper clearance is a Terminal Offense!
CommuSeal raids are now at an all-time low, due to air strikes against known CommuSeal-held areas and liberal use of gas strikes.
Afraid of the beastly menace outside your homes? Enlist now to defend the Nestingland and receive an additional Herring Ration!
Southern fronts in parts of North America are now completely Sub-fowl free. Inquiring about the nature of Sub-fowl removal is a Terminal Offense!
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Welcome!
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Why not go the other route?
Obviously, America is doomed to idiocy. As a proud pacific northwesterner that was lucky enough to study abroad for a year in high school and with strong foreign ties, I can vouch that our media and education system is already locked in place to keep us from really doing much. Seriously, when college classes are the equivalent of a foreign nations high school, you know you're screwed in the education department.
Instead of fight the system, why not join it?
Keep the internet regulated. Disseminate information that keeps the general populace at ease. America talks of revolution, but unless we can unite from our couches it won't happen.
Better to be a part of the machine than the stick trying to break the cogs.
The Gothenburg Post: Volume #2 Issue #1
in National Affairs
Posted
The Master Fowl applauds its allies use of weapons of mass sub-fowl destruction, and hopes to provide such support when a time is needed.