[A DEMAND TO THE HEATHEN NATIONS OF PANTHEON]

We are only seeking a peace deal.  The violent heathens of PANTHEON refuse to accept peace, though we have done nothing wrong.  The Kongo is willing to offer GOD"S BOUNTY to any who would welcome its god fearing people.  The spirits and the Lord would surely bless such an act of kindness. 

P.S. We are going to contact the International Criminal Court and see these people put up on charges.

[A DEMAND TO THE HEATHEN NATIONS OF PANTHEON]

Yes, it is true, that I am here.  The spirits have asked me to be here.  They have asked YOU to be here.  So that the world may witness this moment that PEACE is bestowed between HEATHEN and BELIEVER.  We cannot convert the HEATHEN if this warfare continues.  We have committed no atrocities.  The forces of PANTHEON have committed many atrocities, and even still the spirits beg that I forgive. 

 

Where are the representatives of PANTHEON?

[A DEMAND TO THE HEATHEN NATIONS OF PANTHEON]

No, this is a complex diplomatic manner, involving dozens of nations and two whole alliances.  We must have this space to effect a meaningful dialogue of PEACE, in the NAME OF OUR LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST.  We humbly ask that you respect the piety of this thread and allow the diplomatic negotiations to proceed unhindered.  We simply cannot tolerate this type of disrespect to our faith.  The Kongo are a pious, humble people.  Who are you to deny them peace?

[A DEMAND TO THE HEATHEN NATIONS OF PANTHEON]

We are here to seek a peace deal.  While blasphemy cannot be tolerated, neither can warfare!  We are a peaceful people, and we condemn these outrageous attacks.  This is an affair involving an alliance, so I have seen fit to declare this space for a dialogue between nations.

I repeat, WE CONDEMN THESE ATTACKS.

[A DEMAND TO THE HEATHEN NATIONS OF PANTHEON]

It is not fair! We are still rebuilding from our civil war and have no means to resist!

[A DEMAND TO THE HEATHEN NATIONS OF PANTHEON]

Attention heathen nations of PANTHEON:

Your blasphemy is horrid, and the lord damns the wanton pillaging and violence you visit upon the peaceful people of The Kongo!  Let ALL THE WORLD KNOW we are merely defending ourselves against these savage blasphemers!  WE DID NOT INITIATE ANY AGGRESSION!

The people of The Kongo have been through much anointing this government. The Kongo is TOO WEAK to defend against this alliance of heathen nations.  We ask that all true believers in the lord and savior come to the aid of the god fearing people of The Kongo. 

The Kongo awaits the might of the one thousand nations of the world to avenge these massacres!  Even now, our soldiers are fighting to defend the lord's kingdom.

Signed this day 27 of October, the YEAR OF OUR LORD 2020,

Commander of the Lord's Resistance Army,

Divinely appointed ruler of the Kongo,

Joseph Kony