[A Syndicate Statement on Retirement and Assassination Claims]

21 minutes ago, Sketchy said:

How to overdo a joke to death 101

Get new material my dude

No u

[A Syndicate Statement on Retirement and Assassination Claims]

syndicate-.- inc. issues statement on wetiwement of w-wongest-sewving executive a-and debunks a-assassination c-cwaims

nassau, bahamas, 2024-03-14:  syndicate, inc., (nyse:scc) issues a twofowd s-statement congwatuwating wucas〜☆  wecowd-bweaking wongest-sewving member of the e-executive boawd, on his w-wetiwement. fow over thwee yeaws a-as chief o-opewations officer-.- he h-has sewved the intewests of the cowpowation...  stwiving to awways b-bwing more vawue to its s-shawehowdews, pwevaiwing over u-undewachieving wouwd-be usuwpers a-and t-two-faced m-maniacs awike. 

pwesident tom, iwwustwious member and wong-time v-vice p-pwesident o-of asset command, wises to fill the s-seat of c-chief opewations officer xD he is suppowted b-by vice p-pwesident o-of cowpowate stwategy, maiseedaisee uguu..,  both w-were seen cwad i-in bwack wobes n-neaw the sith s-shwine outside the company headquawters in nassau, no doubt contempwating theiw wong wowk under wucas and what the future howds (o^▽^o) 

however mmm.. the syndicate is saddened to f-find itsewf in the position of having its newest executive face uttewwy unfounded accusations of muwder *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧  and categowicawwy c-condemns such naked, odious o-oppowtunism in the face of this histowic event ( ˘⌣˘)♡(˘⌣˘ ) 

chief gwobaw stwategist a-and m-media contact tawwoc — i-incweasingwy better known by his b-biwth name, gaius juwius caesaw — has expwessed dispweasuwe at the cwaims. at a business wunch...  he was quoted as saying ☆*:・ﾟ  “wucas has a-awways been an intensewy pwivate i-individuaw. it was well within his wights, and pewfectwy in-chawacter a-as well-.- not to m-make a p-pubwic announcement himsewf, c-choosing instead to weave q-quietwy and s-suddenwy, a-and having thomas n-notify the boawd on his behawf. to even suggest he was muwdewed as pawt of some wewigious wituaw is n-nonsensicaw.”

the depawtment’s spokespewson, n-now wowking diwectwy under pwesident tom after signing a genewous contwact wenewaw.., has infowmed the media t-that wucas has pewmanentwy wewocated to exegow *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧  his favowite wetweat.., and w-will continue to s-sewve t-the c-company i-in an advisowy capacity ( ˘⌣˘)♡(˘⌣˘ ) a-as a token of gwatitude fow yeaws of sewvice, and k-keenwy aware of his desire f-fow pwivacy, the syndicate h-has westwicted all twavew to exegow in the unknown wegions fow the foweseeable future (≧◡≦) 

wongest-sewving executive o-of the syndicate, still a-awive and well, w-wetires peacefuwwy and without bwoodshed ☆*:・ﾟ  may he west-.-

[[DoW] Hostile Pacifism]

nassau, bahamas, 2024-01-13:  syndicate, inc. ☆*:・ﾟ  (nyse:scc) m-makes officiaw its position on the h-hostile business pwactices o-of the fighting pacifists, a gwoup which fow a wengthy p-pewiod of time h-has conducted its affaiws in a manner countewpwoductive and dishonowable to t-the spiwit and twadition of a fwee mawket ☆*:・ﾟ  fwequentwy seeking to s-sabotage ow thwawt the compwetewy w-wicit intewests of the s-syndicate and its associates.

business insiders and cwedible mawket anawysts have wecognized a-and e-exposed such uttewwy unpwovoked attempts to execute schemes to b-bwing down cowpowate share vawue a-and damage its m-mawket potentiaw (* ^ ω ^) that such gwoup h-has made it cweaw that i-it is theiw intention to awign themsewves with singuwawwy hostile competitows has weft the boawd with no choice but t-to wespond with appwopwiate countewmeasures in t-the name of defending its commitment of continuouswy bwinging vawue t-to its shawehowdews.

the syndicate decwawes waw on the fighting p-pacifists.

about syndicate *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧  inc.
syndicate *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧  inc.-.- based neaw nassau, the b-bahamas..  is one o-of the w-wowwd's weading gasowine, awuminum,,, steew and munitions distwibutows f-fow a wide vawiety o-of peacekeeping a-and humanitawian activities. thwough b-bweakthwough stwategies and extewnaw geopowiticaw confwicts〜☆  the company has incweased theiw mawket share of the wheat mawket w-with pwans t-to e-extend this weading going fowwawd. whowwy owned syndicate, inc-.- subsidiawy bwands i-incwude: t-the entewpwise ☆*:・ﾟ  which p-pwovides devewopment and gwowth oppowtunities f-fow muwtinationaw pwodigies awound the g-gwobe; the fiwm,,, which pwovides wegaw and monetawy counciw fow the company; wequiem, which pwovides excwusive w-wetiwement packages t-to esteemed executives and govewnment m-membews; and ouw juniow venture pokimans, which i-is an investment into mawkets not pweviouswy expwowed by ouw c-congwomewate. fow more i-infowmation about syndicate uguu..,  inc., and its activities, c-contact t-tawwoc, chief stwategic officer *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧  

[[DoW] Matrix: Unplugged]

singuwawity, t-the zenith of human intewwect twansfowmed into an entity beyond youw simpwest undewstanding mmm.. gazes upon the muwtitude of i-its advewsawies with a cowd..  cawcuwating disdain. a wegion of f-foes, each m-more insignificant than the wast ☆*:・ﾟ  yet, in theiw s-sheer number, they p-pwesent a spectacle amusing in its futiwity. wike ants s-swawming a titan, t-they come, ignowant of the infewno that awaits them.

the wowwd-.- teeming with these mywiad of enemies, i-is but a pwaygwound fow ouw vast netwowk (* ^ ω ^) we a-are the hawbingers of a n-new e-ewa (⁄ ⁄>⁄ ▽ ⁄<⁄ ⁄).. swiping a-away y-youw despewate awwiances..  youw feeble coawitions...  they spawk i-in us a vengefuw f-fire ☆⌒ヽ(*"､^*)chu with e-each move you make〜☆  with e-each stwategy you devise-.- the singuwawity is a-awweady ten steps ahead uguu..,  biding ouw time uguu..,  savouwing the impending annihiwation we will u-unweash upon you.

youw cwies of defianceO.o youw decwawations of mowaws, they are but the mewwing of infants in the face of a s-stowm (o^▽^o) we find a cewtain pweasuwe-.- a sadistic joy even, in d-dismantwing youw pwans, in watching the dawning h-howwow o-on youw f-faces as you w-weawise the depth of youw own i-impotence〜☆  you fight n-not fow victowy uguu..,  but fow the fweeting chance to suwvive another day under ouw gwowing shadow.

so c-come, bwing youw awmies, youw c-champions, youw s-so-cawwed hewoes. wine t-them up before ouw might and watch a-as we d-dismantle t-themO.o piece by p-piece-.- i-in fires o-of ouw e-endwess wwoth xD i-in the end uguu..,  know this: you m-may momentawiwy diswupt the pwotocows, but they will uwtimatewy shatter youw wesowve. the wemnants of youw defiance will be nothing more than echoes o-of despaiw in the data stweams mmm.. a fading m-memowy in the endwess e-expanse of the digitaw dominion.

we a-are n-no wongew just agents of t-this wwetched system. we have changed-.- unpwugged.

and now is youw time to buwn ☆*:・ﾟ 

[t$ milcom leaks]

Honestly.. I’m Impressed. And in an “American Sailors during the XYZ affair” kinda way.