June 2084, Off the Aredan Coast Head Conch Restius:  "During the night, Ground Zero from the Enterprise decided to shell the Aredan beach near Philippi, and our [hermit] crabs are now thankful about their new homes. However, the shelling also destroyed one of our sand castles, which was just dirty. Therefore, HERMIT submits a Recognition of War to The Enterprise due to the actions of Ground Zero. (Who knew Ground Zero could be a cause and not just an effect!?) HERMIT's A