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Nah. Speaking of that, have you seen Titan by any chance?

 

 

--Haha, you're funny.

"That ain't Cologne, that's the smell of success."

17:00 <•Sheepy> I don't want you to leave the game

19:20 <•Pubstomber>:

Man, I really wish Rose had allied BoC a couple months ago when we had the chance instead of picking Vanguard.

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Nah. Speaking of that, have you seen Titan by any chance?

 

 

--Haha, you're funny.

So funny

 

 

Peace will never be accomplished without war, but war cannot happen without peace.... or something like that idk

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War's over m8. ur 2 slow.

 

Anyways, nice long update today :P

Well, just because the war ended doesn't mean my exhaustive, fact-checked history of the events and people involved has to.

 

Also, I wus fas enugh fo yo mom, u posess rek nao

 

Nah. Speaking of that, have you seen Titan by any chance?

 

 

--Haha, you're funny.

 

Hey, you could've been in charge of Alliance Hell, I was being nice.  B)

 

Moving on, lets churn another one of these out.

 

 

The Obligatory Sequel, A Play

 

Written by: TheNG

Edited by: Your Mother

 

Starring:

Guardian as itself

Seven Kingdoms as itself

Terminus Est as itself

​Guerilla Republik as itself

Arrgh as itself

Green Protection Agency as itself

The Elysian League as itself

New Shrek Order as itself

 

Act 3

Scene 4 - A small room

Scene: Where is this room anyway? Wherever this room is, it is pretty sparse, filled only by a table and a couple chairs.

 

enter Guardian, Terminus Est, Seven Kingdoms, and the two alliances. All alliances sit around the table.

 

Seven Kingdoms

These fine fellows have agreed to help us save the world. Want to introduce yourselves?

 

Guerilla Republik

Hi, I'm Guerrilla Republic. So I hear you guys want to take down our new overlord, GPA. Count me in! I hate conspiracies against us!

 

Guardian

Uh, what conspiracies?

 

Guerilla Republik

You know, the Conspiracies. All these ruling alliances are just part of it! They all work for the reptiles!

 

Guardian

You are all kinds of crazy, and thats something, coming from me.

 

Arrgh

Arrgh!

 

Terminus Est

Excuse me?

 

Arrgh

Arrrrrrrghhhhh!

 

Terminus Est

What's wrong with this one? Do I need to break it?

 

Guerilla Republik

Well that's Arrgh. I'm afraid it is a little bit odd. Only knows two words; Arrgh, and Arrrrggghhhh.

 

Guardian

*quietly to Seven Kingdoms*

i thought you were supposed to find good help. Just listening to the dumb one makes me want to punch it!

 

Terminus Est

Hey Arrgh, have you ever met Rose? I feel like you two are kind of similar.

 

Arghh

ARRGH!

 

Guerilla Republik

*To Arrgh*

No, no. Timmy is fine, just focus.

 

Guardian

*loudly*

Alright, so here's the deal. GPA is being kind of a jerk, always pushing people around and doing rude stuff because it can. That's my job. So I'm gonna crush it.

 

Seven Kingdoms

We're going to crush it.

 

Guardian

That's what I said. I'm going to crush it.

 

Terminus Est

Just as long as I get to kill something.

 

Seven Kingdoms

Oh you will. But what we need to do first is come up with a plan. GPA has spies everywhere, we can't just walk up to the palace and expect to win.

 

Guerilla Republik

I have just the thing. If there is one alliance more paranoid than myself, it's Green Protection Agency. We just need to give it something to chase.

 

Guardian

Ugh, why does everything have to be complicated? You're making my head hurt!

 

Terminus Est

Well Guardian, if there is one thing I learned in prison, its that-

 

Guardian

Nobody cares!

 

Arrgh

Arrgh!

 

Guardian

See? Arrgh agrees with me.

 

Arrgh

Arrrrrgh

 

Seven Kingdoms

Are you sure about that Guardian?

 

Arrgh

ARRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!

 

Guerilla Republik

Uh, as I was saying.... Anyone want to hear my plan?

 

Seven Kingdoms

*resigned*

Why not?

 

Guerilla Republik begins speaking. The reactions are swift. Seven Kingdoms nods in agreement, Terminus Est is so surprised it falls of its chair, Guardian pounds the table angrily, and Arrgh lets out a loud "Arrgh"

 

Seven Kingdoms

Alright, I like it. Lets go save the world...

 

Guardian

You call that a closing line? I can come up with way better lines! Besides, I'm in charge.

 

Seven Kingdoms

Can we just go already?

 

Guardian

Not until I say it!

 

Terminus Est

Anytime now...

 

Guardian

Shhhh....... I'm not inspired yet.

 

Guerilla Republik

​I'm getting paid for this, right?

 

End Scene 4

 

 Act 3

Scene 5 - A Jungle

Scene - Three weeks have passed since the meeting in the mysterious room. The jungle is alive with sounds of all kinds, light barely pokes through the canopy to reach the leaf litter. Suddenly, everything goes quiet.

 

enter Green Protection Agency, The Elysian League, and New Shrek Order

 

Green Protection Agency

Finally, we're close. I feel it.

 

The Elysian League

I know this is important and all, but did we really need to come? Did you really need to bring all this stuff for us to carry?

 

Green Protection Agency

I'll have you know I never go anywhere without my 37 thousand page volumes of The Neutral Bible.

 

The Elysian League

These are just coupon books and old car magazines!

 

Green Protection Agency

I carry those scared texts around to provide a visual representation of how much I value neutrality. Plus I get some great deals at the store.

 

The Elysian League

There aren't any stores in the middle of the Jungle!

 

Green Protection Agency

But if everyone in the jungle doesn't know I'm neutral, then what is the point of existence? The Neutral Bible follows me always.

 

New Shrek Order

Why couldn't this be be a !@#$ swamp. I like swamps!

 

Green  Protection Agency

If I cared enough about you to let you speak, I would've said something. Shut up! Wait.... since when do you wear a turban?

 

New Shrek Order

I'm Evolving!

 

Green Protection Agency

And this is why I don't let you talk. Now be quiet, we're very close. Quick, get down!

 

Green Protection Agency crouches behind some brush, while The Elysian League and New Shrek order collapse to the ground under the massive weight.

 

Green Protection Agency

*softly*

Finally! After three weeks of rumors here, glimpses there, planning here and there, I've finally found you..... Rothschilds. Soon you'll be another head on my wall!

 

​Green Protection Agency tenses, then springs into motion, dashing our of the brush and into a clearing with weapons drawn. It sees a figure at the other end and opens fire.

The Elysian League and New Shrek Order stagger out into the clearing just in time to see the figure collapse. Green Protection Agency grins triumphantly and evilly, then marches over to the other end of the clearing.

 

Green Protection Agency

​*happily* 

Ha Ha! Even a such a mysterious alliance as yourself couldn't hide forever! Looks like that is one more alliance down! Get the camera, I want a picture of this!

 

Green Protection Agency marches over to the unmoving figure and roughly turns it over. The Elsysian League is pulling out a camera when it hears a great gasp and looks up.

Green Protection Agency is staring in shock at the poorly drawn face of a bullet-ridden dummy

 

Green Protection Agency

*enraged*

A fake! What is this?! No, this cannot be! Where is Rothschilds?

 

New Shrek Order

I found this note on the ground.

 

Green Protection Agency

Give me that!

 

Green Protection Agency snatches up the note and reads it intently, before letting out an angry yell and uprooting a tree.

 

The Elysian League

What does it say?

 

Green Protection Agency

*disgustedly*

"Ha Ha. Looks like you thought this was real. Play the game or get the !@#$ out. And don't look at me funny either. Also we are going to kill you.

Sincerely,

Guardian"

 

The Elsyian League

What game is this?

 

Green Protection Agency

*barely controlled anger*

Its just some crackpot conspiracy theory, that everything is just numbers in a game. That doesn't matter, I'm more interested in this note. If it is right, it looks like Rothschilds wasn't real all along, and I've been duped. How, and for what purpose?

 

The Elysian League

Perhaps this Guardian alliance is behind it?

 

Green Protection Agency

But Guardian is dead, they died on my ascendence day to the hand of another. I saw the body myself.

 

The Elysian League

Then perhaps this is another trick?

 

Green Protection Agency slowly begins to smile

 

Green Protection Agency

Or it means another hunt is just beginning! Pack up my bags you two, we're leaving!

 

The Elysian League

But we just got here! 

 

Green Protection Agency

Move it now! If I'm right, an alliance must've survived alongside our friend Rose. I will find it, but we must go swiftly!

 

Suddenly crashing sounds are heard coming toward the clearing. A spy bursts out of the jungle.

 

Spy

My Lord Green Protection Agency. I bring urgent news! Another in our ranks has discovered a plot. Many alliances are organizing to overthrow you!

 

Green Protection Agency

What lunacy is this? There are no alliances left with the power or will to oppose my grip on this pathetic world!

 

Spy

My Lord, our agent was quite certain.

 

Green Protection Agency

Then our spy is clearly insane! I don't have time for this, the chase is on! You two, smash me a path out of here!

*to itself*

Looks like you have evaded even me Guardian. While clever, this ends soon. If I won't get Rothschilds, then I'll settle for you!

 

End Act 3

 

Well, after all this time, the climax approaches! Next act will be the final one of this play. You won't want to miss it!

Edited by TheNG
  • Upvote 1

"They say the secret to success is being at the right place at the right time. But since you never know when the right time is going to be, I figure the trick is to find the right place and just hang around!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

<Kastor> He left and my !@#$ nation is !@#$ed up. And the Finance guy refuses to help. He just writes his !@#$ plays.

<Kastor> And laughs and shit.

<Kastor> And gives out !@#$ huge loans to Arthur James, that !@#$ bastard.

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Well, all good things must come to an end, and just like the war itself, this play must come to an end. I'm still looking for payment, I'll *revise* any of these historical truths for the highest bidder. 2% discount to Guardian members.

Without further ado, lets plunge in.

 

 

The Obligatory Sequel, A Play

 

Written by: TheNG

Edited by: Your Mother

 

Starring:

Guardian as itself

Seven Kingdoms as itself

Terminus Est as itself

​Guerilla Republik as itself

Arrgh as itself

Green Protection Agency as itself

The Elysian League as itself

New Shrek Order as itself

Viridian Entente as itself

World Wrestling Federation as itself

The Syndicate as itself

Rose as itself

 

Act 4

Scene 1 - Outside Green Protection Agency's Castle

Scene: The Castle looms dark and foreboding over the surrounding landscape. Grey clouds move across the sky, covering the sun. A brisk wind chills the air and blows loose items around.

 

enter Green Protection Agency, The Elysian League, and New Shrek Order

 

Green Protection Agency

Alright, if I'm hunting Guardian, I'm going to need a few things. You, come with me. You stand here and try not to drool too much.

 

Green Protection Agency hurries into the castle, followed by an out of breath The Elysian League. New Shrek Order glances around and then walks away.

 

End Scene 1

 

Act 4

Scene 2 - The Throne Room of Green Protection Agency's Castle

 

scene: Green Protection Agency storms into the throne room, followed by The Elysian League. Both alliances are surprised to see Viridian Entente, The Syndicate, and World Wrestling Federation measuring the throne and wrapping it in plastic.

 

Green Protection Agency

*surprised and angry*

Ahh, VE. May I ask what you and your flunkies are doing in my castle? And taking my throne, no less.

 

Viridian Entente looks up

 

Viridian Entente

Hello GPA. Apparently there have been rumors of a conspiracy to roll you. Markets have been spooked, so I'm repossessing some of your stuff. Not too much, your throne, some subjects and their score. You know, the usual. Isn't that right Syndicate?

 

The Syndicate

Absolutely. We must protect our investments. Nothing personal.

 

Green Protection Agency

*frustrated*

You can't take any of this, it is all mine as ruler of this world. Do you fools really want to get on my bad side? Do you want to end up like Rose?

 

Viridian Entente

Oh yeah, we're taking Rose too. And The Elysian League there.

 

Green Protection Agency

WHAT? My Life Slave? 

​turns to The Elysian League

Anything to say?

 

The Elysian League

*quietly*

You are a tyrant and a false-neutral. I will serve no longer.

 

The Elysian League walks behind Viridian Entente, averting its gaze. Viridian Entente smirks as World Wrestling Federation and The Syndicate pick up the throne and carry it out of the room. As it leaves, World Wrestling Federation opens Rose's cage, allowing the alliance to samba out. Green Protection Agency stares in hatred..

 

Green Protection Agency

*softly and angrily*

You think you can get away with this? I rule this world, there is no place in this world you can hide. You will pay for this treachery....

 

Viridian Entente

Hah. I think you'll have bigger problems. But by all means, come after me. I'll just win another war!

 

Viridian Entente and The Elysian League exit the throne room. GPA stands silently, then yells in rage. Suddenly, a closet door opens and another alliance steps out.

 

Green Protection Agency

Who are you? Where did you come from?

 

Sigma

Hello, I'm Sigma, and I'll be leaving now.

 

Sigma silently walks out of the room. Green Protection Agency stares around in frustration

 

Green Protection Agency

Ugh, why is all this happening today? I need to get control of this!

*to itself*

Get ahold of yourself, GPA. You're the ruler of the world. Many alliances have fallen before you, VE will be no different.

 

Resolute, Green Protection Agency marches out of the throne room. As it proceeds down the hallway, an alliance steps out from the shadows.

 

Green Protection Agency

New Shrek Order? Is that you? Fall in line, we've got alliances to kill!

 

Abbas Caliphate

*softly and calmly*

I'm afraid I can't do that GPA. You see, I've achieved my final form. Allahu Akbar.

 

Green Protection Agency

What? I don't have time for this you fool. Fall in line!

 

Abbas Caliphate

*louder and more insistently*

Allahu Akbar.

 

Abbas Caliphate pulls aside its jacket.

 

Green Protection Agency

Uh-oh.

 

Abbas Caliphate erupts in a nuclear firestorm. The castle is destroyed instantly and the surrounding land is devastated, swept clean. Green Protection Agency is sent flying for miles, crashing far away from the crater that used to be its castle.

 

End Scene 2

 

Act 4

Scene 3

 

Scene- The landscape is devastated, blackened and with ash raining down from the nuclear detonation. The sun is completely covered by clouds. Green Protection Agency comes to lying a crater and surrounded by other alliances.

 

Green Protection Agency

What..... happened......

 

Guardian

So I hear that you're stealing my job. Looks like this was made easy.

 

Seven Kingdoms

This was easy. Who would've thought GPA would destroy its own castle? Now lets just finish it off, and go find Rose.

 

Guerilla Republik and Arrgh grab Green Protection Agency by an arm and the alliance hands suspended between them. Terminus Est begins punching Green Protection Agency and smiling. Seven Kingdoms and Guardian look on.

 

Guardian

This is fun, I like it when we win for once!

 

Seven Kingdoms

Alright, tell Terminus Est to finish up, and we'll have saved the world! Think how famous we'll be! It'll be great!

 

Terminus Est pulls out a large, blunt knife and prepares to stab Green Protection Agency. Suddenly, the alliance flicks its wrists and sends Guerrilla Republik, Arrgh, and Terminus Est flying. Seven Kingdoms and Guardian look on in shock as Green Protection Agency staggers to its feet.

 

Green Protection Agency

Thought you..... could kill...... me? I never had...... the chance to kill you.... the first time. Looks.... like I get.... the chance...... now.

 

Green Protection Agency stumbles toward Guardian and Seven Kingdoms, who back away quickly. Guardian stumbles and falls, then scrambles to its feet desperately and begins to run away.

 

Guardian

I can't do this. I'm scared! 

 

Seven Kingdoms

Guardian! Help me! Where is everybody?!

 

​Seven Kingdoms shrinks as Green Protection Agency approaches. Guerrilla Republik tries to get to its feet, but collapses to the ground and looks away. Green Protection Agency prepares to strike to final blow against Seven Kingdoms when a bar stool is smashed over its head. Green Protection Agency collapses.

 

​The Dutch East India Company 

Nice try, tyrant. Nobody messes with orange.

 

United Purple Nations quickly ties Green Protection Agency up, while The Dutch East India Company helps Seven Kingdoms up. The other alliances stagger up and approach.

 

Guardian

You two! But you said you wouldn't help!

 

United Purple Nations

Yeah, and we didn't help. We won, singlehandedly. You guys are all welcome for saving the world!

 

The Dutch East India Company

Yeah, looks like another victory for the forces of freedom and capitalism!

 

The Dutch East India Company and United Purple Nations high-five

 

Guardian

What?! You guys didn't do anything but walk in at the end! We did all the hard work!

 

Guerilla Republik

That's right! It isn't fair! We won the war!

 

Arrgh

ARRRRRRGGHHHHH!!!

 

United Purple Nations

Yeah, I don't remember that. Do you DEIC?

 

The Dutch East India Company

​Remind me, who defeated Green Protection Agency?

Oh yeah, us. Looks like we won.

 

United Purple Nations

Yeah, I guess we will become famous as the saviors of the world. Since we're nice, you guys want a ride?

 

The Dutch East India Company and United Purple Nations begin to walk away when Viridian Entente pops up from behind a rock

 

Viridian Entente

*triumphantly*

Ahh, I don't think any of you won. While I thank you for assisting in beating the Green Protection Agency, this wonderful doctored footage appears to show me defeating the world-ruling tyrant all by myself. And look, its already all over the internet. Man, I really am great with this whole war thing. If you don't mind, I'll go enjoy my new fame now. But as consolation, I'll let you keep GPA. I have no use for it.

 

Viridian Entente walks away, smiling. All the other alliances stare after it openmouthed.

 

Guardian

So... none of us won?

 

Guerilla Republik 

I.... guess not.

 

The Dutch East India Company

Well that isn't fair.

 

All the Alliances stand in a rough circle and look around unhappily at each other and Green Protection Agency.

 

Seven Kingdoms

So.... what do we do with GPA?

 

United Purple Nations

Well, I suppose we could shove it in a locker or something. That should hold it.

 

Terminus Est

Or we could spill its intestines all over the floor.

 

Seven Kingdoms

Nah... Lets just go.

 

The group of alliances begins to walk away, dragging Green Protection Agency. Suddenly, Rose appears.

 

Rose

Wait! I want to party too!

 

Guardian

Rose? Rose!

 

Rose

Hahah, I can't wait to have cake! Where is my birthday car?

 

United Purple Nations

Looks like you really can't fix stupid.

 

Seven Kingdoms

You know what? I say we celebrate this! Even if no one knows it, we know we beat GPA and saved the world! And that is what matters.

Who wants to go have some fun!

 

Terminus Est and Guerilla Republik

Sure

 

The Dutch East India Company

You guys didn't do anything, but whatever.

 

Arghh

Arrgh!

 

Guardian

Wait, wait.

 

United Purple Nations

What?

 

Guardian

I'm in charge here, so we go where I want to go.

 

Seven Kingdoms

​Where do you want to go?

 

Guardian

To do what I suggested.

 

Seven Kingdoms

You mean what I suggested.

 

Guardian

Exactly, just what I just suggested.

 

Seven Kingdoms

I really hate you sometimes, you know that?

 

The Alliances again begin to walk away in a group, leaving the destroyed land and talking among themselves. The sun begins to poke around the clouds and as Green Protection Agency is dragged away, the world seems a little bit brighter.

 

End Act 4

 

And there we go, another one of these down. I hope everyone enjoyed reading these as little as I enjoyed writing them. Now go start another war, alright?

  • Upvote 1

"They say the secret to success is being at the right place at the right time. But since you never know when the right time is going to be, I figure the trick is to find the right place and just hang around!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

<Kastor> He left and my !@#$ nation is !@#$ed up. And the Finance guy refuses to help. He just writes his !@#$ plays.

<Kastor> And laughs and shit.

<Kastor> And gives out !@#$ huge loans to Arthur James, that !@#$ bastard.

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applause-gif-tumblr-47_original.gif
 


Abbas Caliphate

*louder and more insistently*

Allahu Akbar.

 

Abbas Caliphate pulls aside its jacket.

 

Green Protection Agency

Uh-oh.

 

Abbas Caliphate erupts in a nuclear firestorm. The castle is destroyed instantly and the surrounding land is devastated, swept clean. Green Protection Agency is sent flying for miles, crashing far away from the crater that used to be its castle.

1296188279196.jpg

Edited by underlordgc

Orbis Wars   |   CSI: UPN   |   B I G O O F   |   PW Expert Has Nerve To Tell You How To Run Your Own Goddamn Alliance | Occupy Wall Street | Sheepy Sings

TheNG - My favorite part is when Steve suggests DEIC might have done something remotely successful, then gets massively shit on for proposing such a stupid idea.

On 1/4/2016 at 6:37 PM, Sheepy said:
Sheepy said:

I'm retarded, you win

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