Popular Post Hatebi Posted June 13 Popular Post Share Posted June 13 (edited) Ya know, when I shadow dropped my retirement in the DoW for Total Drama Orbis I got a pretty wide range of responses right away. Naturally the "congratulations on your retirement" messages first, any self respecting FA head has a macro for that set up on their keyboard. But shortly after that I think people started learning about it via an elaborate game of telephone. The vibe went from congrats on your retirement to omg are you deleting? are you dying? can i come to your funeral? real fast. Just to clarify again, I'm only retiring from gov/leadership positions permanently and nuking temporarily. To y'all's delight and/or dismay I'm not going anywhere just yet. Figured I'd write up a post to talk not just about why I'm retiring (boring) but also look back on all the wacky hijinks I got up to and my future plans (fun & exciting). This post ended up being very long so feel free to skip to specific sections. Retirement (zzz boring) I've been involved in the gov side of this game for around 6 to 7 years now. I've had a lot of fun with it. Gov "voice" chats at 3 in the morning, training people up from newbies and watching them go on to get leadership positions of their own. Wheeling & dealing with negotiations, putting on extravagant events. if you're reading this and you haven't tried being gov in your alliance yet, you should really consider it. There's a reason people make such a big deal about both being & leaving gov. As many good times as I've had, it's something I'm ready to move on from. Being gov can be a lot of fun, but it does come with a whole lot of stress factors. You can mitigate them by spreading out the labour load, but if you're like me and can't stand to see something that needs doing and not doing it yourself, you're bound to burn out eventually. Anyone who's had the pleasure of sharing a gov chat with me can tell you that I've been known to be a tiny little bit neurotic sometimes, which doesn't make for the best combination with the whole super dedicated work horse thing. So, in the interest of not kicking the bucket in my 20s, now seemed like a pretty good time to pass on the torch. Hype Moments & Aura Now we're on to the fun stuff. Get yourself a nice drink while I regale you on my awesome tales at sea. Only the tales at sea. If you were hoping for cam era tales I'm sorry to tell you but they have all been thrown into the incinerator. The Awards Arc This was one of the earliest ones if I recall. It started during the 2022 P&W Awards. They were hosting category nominations and @Certified War Criminal innocently submitted "Best War Criminal". Most would take this as a joke based on his name, but after having nuked people for about a year at that point, I figured I'd be a shoe in for it if it got accepted as a valid category. Fast forward to the final phase of voting and... I didn't even make the top 10 for it. It was a real bummer, but also a learning experience. Come the 2023 awards I embarked on an aggressive campaign for the award. My strategy? Simple, nuking every alliance representative in my range with the war reason set to "For your voting consideration: Hatebi, Best War Criminal". This ruffled a few feathers, but did lead to me getting both Best War Criminal and Best Villain. It was such a success that I did the exact same thing for 2024. That might have worked a little too well though, since I ended up winning like 7 awards. The Ad Arc This one was quite a while ago. It started after I ran the "New FA Head Wanted" ad for T$. Little known fact, but I didn't actually make that one. Someone had hit me up and asked if I could run it for them. It was a really funny ad, so naturally I said yes. It did inspire me to make a couple of my own. The "grumpy is now accepting new players" and "TKR RoI wanted poster" ones were both hatebi originals. They were pretty big hits, believe it was the grumpy one that won me best ad of 2023. Being able to run random "attack" ads is one of the many upsides of being a pirate. Try that as a rank and file in a standard alliance and you might be waking up to a real stern DM from your local IA head. Contracts While people usually over estimate how many of my nukes are paid, I did get quite a few month long contracts. These were usually 30 nukes and 60 missiles, but got bumped up to 30 and 90 towards the end. Alliances lucky enough to experience a full on carpet bombing include Camelot, Carthago, The Commonwealth, Serene Wei, Weebunism, The Golden Horde, Pokimans and a half length hit on GATO. If I had to guess, those probably would have netted me a bit over 6, maybe a bit shy of 7 bil. All of these contracts came with their own mini damage sheets. For whatever reason, every single time I took on a big contract, a bunch of nuke beiges would not be far behind. Not naming any names, but some of these alliances had like 10+ people lose to a 0'd nation armed only with cherry bombs. The Wheel of Misfortune This was the first Arrgh event that I was at the helm for. I wanted to try something new after we'd put on a couple of more standard nuke auctions. I was inspired by Dicey Dungeons (cool game check it out after you're done reading this). Specifically, a wheel that gets spun after every run. It's purely cosmetic and always lands on the worst section. For the actual event, we had a big wheel with 100 slots. You could pay 100M to add an alliance of your choosing to the wheel, with whoever it lands on being our nuke target. The entire wheel sold out shortly after the half time report, netting us a record-shattering 10B. We spun it to a live audience of 40-60 people, with it's target being Singularity. This was a real fun event, it even lead to some people calling all of our stuff "wheels" even when they didn't actually involve any. The war performance was a bit lacking though, so I made sure to lock in for our next one. The Voting Game My personal favourite of the trilogy. We put up a poll of 10 alliances and asked people to vote out the alliances they didn't want to see nuked. This was in direct response to NAPs at the time, which started to directly mention not hiring mercs. The participation levels were crazy, with over a thousand people coming out to vote. After 3 rounds of voting (and a brief intermission when we got decced on lol) The Immortals were left as our nuke target. We earned like, 17B or something from the event and performed much better in the war. Total Drama Orbis The one we just wrapped up a few days ago. Putting on this event was actually my entire reason for becoming Grand Admiral. I titled my mutiny post "Third Act Twist" as a bit of foreshadowing that this would be the grand finale. While it did get delayed for ages and people ended up being a little too good at the three different rounds, I think this was my most ambitious and successful event. The collab aspect ended up leading to a bit of a revival in political discussion, which I was real happy to see. Future Plans Just because I won't be touching gov work with a 10 meter poll doesn't mean that I'm not cooking anything up. Here's the deets on my current project and a sneak peak on what I plan on doing after. The Hatebi World Tour Not really a big reveal since I've mentioned this a few times, but I'm going on tour! Throughout my run in Arrgh, I've received poaching attempts from almost every alliance out there. Some of y'all will take literally any opportunity to shoot your shot. Asking me why I'm hitting them? Poaching attempt. Trying to hire me? Poaching attempt. Any conversation longer than 5 minutes? You better believe it's ending with a poaching attempt. After enduring so many, I figured I might as well give the people what they want. For the next year, I'll be joining a new alliance every month or so. We'll be aiming for around month in each, but some may be cut short to make room for more alliances (or if the taxes are too high/ the vibes are awful lol). The first stop on my adventure across Orbis is Event Horizon, with a few other alliances being lined up for the future. If you'd like me to make a stop at your place, feel free to hit me up and I'll throw it in the consideration pile. Yes, this is the one chance you're getting to actually poach me for real. A New Kind of Event Once my tour ends in a year from now (June 13th, 2026 to be exact), I'll be returning to my bread and butter nuking. While I'll be sailing solo, I'll still be putting on cool little events. These will be pretty different from the ones you're use to though. Instead of alliances competing to not get their roi nuked into oblivion, individual players will be able to compete in contests for cash prizes! Yes, I'll be taking the majority of the money I make over the course of the world tour and giving it away. I've long said that far too many people only care about making money in this game, so I figured this would be a great way to put mine where my mouth is. Closing Thoughts & Free Prize Wow I don't think you can even call this a wall of text anymore. This is at least a tower of text, maybe a monolith of text by the end. Will try to keep this late part short. - Back when I celebrated 1,000 nukes launched, I gave away 30 freebies. For this one, I'll be giving away a free time capsule nuke to the first 30 people that DM me. What is a time capsule nuke? Simple, you send me a target and I hit them in a year from now. You'll probably forget all about it and receive a fun surprise when your mortal enemy gets mildly inconvenienced. Act fast, this offer expires in 48 hours. - Thank you to all my homies in Arrgh that help run the show and put up with all my antics. As ready as I've been to retire for a while now, leaving y'all behind has consistently been the hardest part to grapple with. Ignore the naysayers, I know y'all are still going to be keeping this game fun and interesting. - Shoutouts to everyone who's participated in one of my events. It'll be rough not putting on any good ones for a while, but I'm looking forward to showing y'all what I've got in the works next year. - I've logged every nuke and missile I've launched during my time in Arrgh. You can check out the full sheet here. Until next time... Edited June 15 by Hatebi 34 1 8 Quote rad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hidude45454 Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 Overall incredible commitment to the persona, enjoy retirement o7 3 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tartarus Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 Congratulations 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EpimetheusTalks Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 Looking forward to your next events 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asima Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 Really happy for you Hatebi. You are by far my favorite girl boss in the game 💖 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoffy Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 That was a fantastic read! Have fun on the ‘world’ tour… it’s really weird actually seeing you with infra. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Dryad Posted June 13 Popular Post Share Posted June 13 Hatebi, you have my utmost respect. I won't go into all the issues this game has, but most people have accepted the way it is and given up on even dreaming of ways to make this game more fun. And yet in the midst of that, you have come up with numerous creative ways to make this game fun, not only for yourself, but the entire game. Whether or not the community will be grateful for it: without a doubt your contributions have been some of the most valuable ones this game has experienced. I'm looking forward to your journey ahead, I'm sure you will continue to radiate much needed positive energy into all the places you are about to visit during this coming year. 3 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noscar Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 Congratulations! Looking to see you around 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L3X Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 This was an awesome read damn! Conggrads anyway! Sad I missed so much cool stuff 1 Quote “Build. Fail. Learn. Repeat. Legends aren’t born—they’re forged.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vladmeir Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 Very happy to know that you will stay around, the game will be even more boring without your events and you in general 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alask Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 See you one day in eclipse :shibaheart: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John M Keynes Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 Congrats Hatebi on your retirement! I'll miss the nuke events, but can't wait to see what you have in store. 1 Quote My opinion may not reflect those of my alliance or its affiliates. Please read at your own discretion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Certified War Criminal Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 Clearly, just because I’m certified doesn’t make me the best. Congrats on your retirement, and I look forward to your future shenanigans!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrythonLexi Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 Congratulations on your retirement! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacob Knox Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 Oh thank God Orbis will still get to enjoy shenanigans from the wonderfully mischievous Hatebi! Looking forward to it. 🥳 1 1 Quote Federation of Knox Enlightened of Chaos, Event Horizon QA Team and API Team Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir Scarfalot Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 Congrats, and may your opponents' VDSes always fail 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevanovia Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 Hatebi, you're a Mount Rushmore PnW player & an awesome human. Cheers to you. 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indger Posted June 14 Share Posted June 14 Congrats on your retirement and enjoy it! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buorhann Posted June 14 Share Posted June 14 Just a tip: Don't go on tour unless there's some action/drama going on. You'll find yourself bored in the vast majority of the game's alliances imo unless there's something spicy going on. 1 Quote Warrior of Dio https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfPCFQfOnLg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mayor Posted June 15 Share Posted June 15 23 hours ago, Buorhann said: Just a tip: Don't go on tour unless there's some action/drama going on. You'll find yourself bored in the vast majority of the game's alliances imo unless there's something spicy going on. Tbf tho Hatebi might wana be the catalyst for some spicy drama. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buorhann Posted June 16 Share Posted June 16 On 6/15/2025 at 9:47 AM, Mayor said: Tbf tho Hatebi might wana be the catalyst for some spicy drama. Touché Quote Warrior of Dio https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfPCFQfOnLg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alzruntas Posted June 23 Share Posted June 23 I only know you from the Aaaarrghh Nuke Event as I’m relatively new to the game but thank you for your service to this game’s community by keeping things interesting, and happy retirement! 👍 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Random Posted Thursday at 09:50 PM Share Posted Thursday at 09:50 PM Enjoy your retirement from gov and your exploration around Orbis! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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