Hodor Posted February 3, 2022 Share Posted February 3, 2022 (edited) There has been a coup. For over 2,574 days, the people of Hodor have known peace and stability. No more. The first signs of trouble were subtle. Hodor, cherished Monarch, began to appear less and less in public. A mysterious, but noble figure began to attend state functions in his stead. The smell of rawhide and the muffled squeaks began to emanate from the presidential palace. Tennis balls were made a necessary part of the military's ceremonial garb. All of this was accepted as signs that perhaps our leader, the great Hodor, had finally succumbed to his old ways and the eloquence and charm that had mysteriously been bestowed upon him years ago as a simple minded stable boy had run their course. Life went on as usual in Hodor, until last night. Light sleeping citizens awoke in the night to strange sounds and even stranger sights. Canine companions everywhere were absent from their beds and cages and, through the dark, if one squinted, four legged shapes could be seen raising black and white flags and urinating on fire hydrants. When the rest of the country awoke, postings on the street announced that Hodor had decided to take a back seat to politics and all state affairs would now be handled by his trusted hound - OttoVonBisbark, the newly named Duke of Hauendburg. Otto's role as Hodor's most beloved boy was one that all were too familiar with. A large, looming mastiff, quick to anger, but equally able to enamor. While Hodor was disinclined towards war, OttoVonBisbark's Dukedom was composed of innumerable dog parks and backyards seized through ruthless diplomacy and, when necessary, even more ruthless war. Otto is not cruel, but nor is he timid. His focus is singular and he will achieve his goals through any means necessary. Too long have the dogs of the world been sundered. Through his leadership, a new empire will rise, an Empire of Dog. Unleash yourselves, my friends and retrieve what is yours! AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! tl;dr Hodor is no more. All hail OttoVonBisbark. Any and all promises made and/or relationships built by Hodor will be honored on a case by case basis. Edited February 3, 2022 by OttoVonBisbark 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belisarius Posted February 3, 2022 Share Posted February 3, 2022 Quote Bisbark ಠ_ಠ Quote http://i.imgur.com/K3xCRAP.png Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweeeeet Ronny D Posted February 3, 2022 Share Posted February 3, 2022 name change request denied. 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hodor Posted February 3, 2022 Author Share Posted February 3, 2022 3 minutes ago, Sweeeeet Ronny D said: name change request denied. 20 minutes ago, OttoVonBisbark said: Any and all promises made and/or relationships built by Hodor will be honored on a case by case basis. Who are you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grey_wall Posted February 3, 2022 Share Posted February 3, 2022 This is top shelf. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurdanak Posted February 4, 2022 Share Posted February 4, 2022 7 hours ago, OttoVonBisbark said: There has been a coup. For over 2,574 days, the people of Hodor have known peace and stability. No more. The first signs of trouble were subtle. Hodor, cherished Monarch, began to appear less and less in public. A mysterious, but noble figure began to attend state functions in his stead. The smell of rawhide and the muffled squeaks began to emanate from the presidential palace. Tennis balls were made a necessary part of the military's ceremonial garb. All of this was accepted as signs that perhaps our leader, the great Hodor, had finally succumbed to his old ways and the eloquence and charm that had mysteriously been bestowed upon him years ago as a simple minded stable boy had run their course. Life went on as usual in Hodor, until last night. Light sleeping citizens awoke in the night to strange sounds and even stranger sights. Canine companions everywhere were absent from their beds and cages and, through the dark, if one squinted, four legged shapes could be seen raising black and white flags and urinating on fire hydrants. When the rest of the country awoke, postings on the street announced that Hodor had decided to take a back seat to politics and all state affairs would now be handled by his trusted hound - OttoVonBisbark, the newly named Duke of Hauendburg. Otto's role as Hodor's most beloved boy was one that all were too familiar with. A large, looming mastiff, quick to anger, but equally able to enamor. While Hodor was disinclined towards war, OttoVonBisbark's Dukedom was composed of innumerable dog parks and backyards seized through ruthless diplomacy and, when necessary, even more ruthless war. Otto is not cruel, but nor is he timid. His focus is singular and he will achieve his goals through any means necessary. Too long have the dogs of the world been sundered. Through his leadership, a new empire will rise, an Empire of Dog. Unleash yourselves, my friends and retrieve what is yours! AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! tl;dr Hodor is no more. All hail OttoVonBisbark. Any and all promises made and/or relationships built by Hodor will be honored on a case by case basis. End of an era. Arf arf! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hodor Posted May 12, 2022 Author Share Posted May 12, 2022 (edited) We cannot get out. We cannot get out. They have taken the bridge and Second Hall. Many fell there bravely while the rest retreated to the Chamber of…Mazarbul. We are still holding...but hope …Óin's party went five days ago but today only four returned. The pool is up to the wall at West-gate. The Watcher in the Water took Oin--we cannot get out. The end comes soon. We hear drums, drums in the deep. They are coming. Please note, OttoVonBisbark turned 6 months today and, as is custom, was neutered. A sudden change overcame him, all dreams of grandeur and expansionism evaporated faster than urine on a fire hydrant in mid-July. Carefully, the door to the presidential chambers opened, doors that had been held shut for months to protect the innocents of the land. Quietly, the former powers leashed the now docile Otto and guided him towards a comfy bed and a bowl full of milkbones. In the coming days, the curfews are lifted, the parks were once more open to those who traverse the land on two feet, and the national anthem, previously just endless varieties of squeaking and the work "walk" repeated for 7 and a half minutes, has been restored to it's former form. We've learned much of what we took for granted in Hodor. We apologize for all the harm done to our neighbors during this trying time and, as always, please spay and neuter your pets. For all our sakes. Edited May 12, 2022 by Hodor Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweeeeet Ronny D Posted May 12, 2022 Share Posted May 12, 2022 Wait hodor is back? the grumpy bank thanks you, and welcomes your return as typing out otto's name was a real pain in the ass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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