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4th National Affairs Briefing | July 11, 2021


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Pavitistvo Kozatskiya | Павитиство Козацкия
Pavitelstvo Kazakiya | Павителство Казакия
哥萨克政府 - 哥薩克政府 | Gesake Zhengfu
Pamahalaan ng Bansang Kosakya | Government of Cossackia

National Affairs Briefing

Note: Before you assume that this will all be about the Gacha Community (as it is part of our law), read the entire briefing. Do also note that the events are only semi-fictional and semi-custom. For the monarch names, I have no intent to break your Lese-Majeste laws. And all the events are more based on real-life politics than Orbis. Also names of some people is completely fictional, to expose an individual is not intentional and will not be intended. Enjoy.

     June 30 is the affair of Gacha-related affairs. Hear me out. We realized while we were gone, the Gacha puppet states (namely the Gacha SSR, the Gacha People's Republic, and the Dominion of Gachaland) decided to do some Yugoslavia-style unification. The idea was proposed from the Dominion of Gachaland, and was accepted by a majority. So today, the Gacha People's Federative Republic is now declared and the Gacha Provisional Government is established. We have learned so much from kamexri's video this morning, we realized that the Gacha Community can't be saved. So instead, we decided to reform the Gacha Community in Cossackia. If we can reform the Gacha Community here in this country, then we won't be cringe.

     And as of July 11, we are also becoming rich by $250M, and basically our economy is doing well. No starvations means no rebellions. About food, we are sending students to Singapore to learn how to produce artificial meat and to Israel to learn how to make artificial milk. We watched too much videos from Animals Australia, so we are forced to rethink our meat and dairy supplies. We are now making laws to:

  • abolish animal abuse, which means:
    • no more mulesing for sheep
    • no more tail removal for sheep and pigs
    • no more shredding for chicks
    • no more beak removal for chickens
    • no more horn removal for cows
    • no 'balls' removal for pigs
    • no teeth "trimming" for pigs
  • give animals democracy, meaning:
    • that they can vote either to:
      • be slaughtered
      • be spared
      • etc. (such as more space, more food, yard time)
    • the results are
      • the majority gets what they want
      • the minority can abstain
    • the voting stations are feeds and a sign
    • the majority of animals that go there means the decision is accepted

     Cossackia still conducts airlifts in Naypyidaw, even though Myanmar democracy is old news. Cossackia will also send support to Japan, Korea, and Taiwan to defend from the Chinese invasion that is yet to come.

That's all.

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Karla Edison' Fuentesovich Soyokov
Premier and Commander-in-Chief Field Marshal of Cossackia

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