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Chronicles of the time jumpers: The crusaders


Jamie
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Now we all know about the crusades and how they attempted to conquer the holy land, right? WRONG, you filthy casual. As any enlightened historian such as myself would know, Tayintus Kayum once told Pope Urban II a joke about muslims being the source of all evil AND that they once said he had a funny hat.

 

The Pope didn’t like that joke and banished Tayintus Kayum. He went to the holy land to seek forgiveness from God.(something you may not know is that the holy land used to be lebanon, but we’ll get back to that later)

 

While he was in Lebanon, he made friends with some muslims who turned out to be Generals. Once they heard his story they felt outraged about how the Pope couldn’t take a simple joke, so they started to invade Christian land. (they were trolling) 

 

Since the Pope couldn’t take a joke this deeply angered him, he couldn’t go on any christian discord server or forum without getting ridiculed. So what would any rational person who’s getting made fun of do? Yes that’s right he raised an army to take back the holy land, or in other words, launch the first Crusade. 

 

Tayintus Kayum was deeply saddened by all the chaos and destruction he caused so he took a long walk, so long that when he stopped walking he was in modern day America. 

 

He did a lot of well planned out things that many simple-minded humans would view as some dumb American trying to make rap songs. Oh no dear reader that is wrong. He changed his name to Tay K, started making music and breaking the law to get attention. He is a mastermind afterall. He made a very good song that of course became very popular, he made that song while evading the police so he knew people would start the #freeTayK hashtag so that it would bring attention to the free Lebanon hashtag.

 

I’m happy to say this worked as I myself recognise Lebanon as a free state and i’m best friends with the UN.

 

You may be asking, Jamie how do you know all this? I was there with the sunglasses dude. Don’t believe me? Look at this old tapestry I found. PS extra points if you find sunglasses man.

unknown.png

Edited by Far east empire
Censorship is a pain?
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@Basebond Did u & Jamie do something while the rest us where gone? Or was that the drugs kicking in?

 

                            memed-iFirwof650x150.jpeg.9a92ea222b9010f9fae97a1864a6759e.jpeg     

 I personally voice my own thought processes based on own desires of informational curiosity as well love for discussion based on questions & statements I made rather just trusting info like a collective hivemind

Onlookers whom hop aboard the brainless bandwagon refusing inter-articulation based on assumed feelings, go give yo balls a tug ya tit fugger         

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@Far east empire You also forgot to about the rest of EDR running into battle & me running away. Tsk Tsk

 

                            memed-iFirwof650x150.jpeg.9a92ea222b9010f9fae97a1864a6759e.jpeg     

 I personally voice my own thought processes based on own desires of informational curiosity as well love for discussion based on questions & statements I made rather just trusting info like a collective hivemind

Onlookers whom hop aboard the brainless bandwagon refusing inter-articulation based on assumed feelings, go give yo balls a tug ya tit fugger         

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10 hours ago, Far east empire said:

@Firwof KromwellKromwell smh how could I have been so stupid

Just a throw back into EDR past

 

                            memed-iFirwof650x150.jpeg.9a92ea222b9010f9fae97a1864a6759e.jpeg     

 I personally voice my own thought processes based on own desires of informational curiosity as well love for discussion based on questions & statements I made rather just trusting info like a collective hivemind

Onlookers whom hop aboard the brainless bandwagon refusing inter-articulation based on assumed feelings, go give yo balls a tug ya tit fugger         

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  • 5 weeks later...
On 5/9/2020 at 12:49 AM, Far east empire said:

Now we all know about the crusades and how they attempted to conquer the holy land, right? WRONG, you filthy casual. As any enlightened historian such as myself would know, Tayintus Kayum once told Pope Urban II a joke about muslims being the source of all evil AND that they once said he had a funny hat.

 

The Pope didn’t like that joke and banished Tayintus Kayum. He went to the holy land to seek forgiveness from God.(something you may not know is that the holy land used to be lebanon, but we’ll get back to that later)

 

While he was in Lebanon, he made friends with some muslims who turned out to be Generals. Once they heard his story they felt outraged about how the Pope couldn’t take a simple joke, so they started to invade Christian land. (they were trolling) 

 

Since the Pope couldn’t take a joke this deeply angered him, he couldn’t go on any christian discord server or forum without getting ridiculed. So what would any rational person who’s getting made fun of do? Yes that’s right he raised an army to take back the holy land, or in other words, launch the first Crusade. 

 

Tayintus Kayum was deeply saddened by all the chaos and destruction he caused so he took a long walk, so long that when he stopped walking he was in modern day America. 

 

He did a lot of well planned out things that many simple-minded humans would view as some dumb American trying to make rap songs. Oh no dear reader that is wrong. He changed his name to Tay K, started making music and breaking the law to get attention. He is a mastermind afterall. He made a very good song that of course became very popular, he made that song while evading the police so he knew people would start the #freeTayK hashtag so that it would bring attention to the free Lebanon hashtag.

 

I’m happy to say this worked as I myself recognise Lebanon as a free state and i’m best friends with the UN.

 

You may be asking, Jamie how do you know all this? I was there with the sunglasses dude. Don’t believe me? Look at this old tapestry I found. PS extra points if you find sunglasses man.

unknown.png

This is Gold

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