Popular Post Smith Posted April 1, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted April 1, 2019 (edited) Redarmy and Smith knew that there were many who would seek to hurt the newly formed Sloth Empire in their weakened state. So they approached just a couple of groups that they could work with. There was a young woman called Yui living in a land of purple flowers with her human friends and also many animals. She was always keeping an eye out for more animals she could make friends with and invite to visit her home. She had heard that a community of sloths was developing in a nearby place and she thought that their group would be a perfect partnership for her and her companions. She knew that her trusted right hand lady, Ellie the Elephant would be the one to deliver the message to the sloths. She sent Ellie on her way with some homemade cookies for the community and a message asking if they'd like to visit one day and that she'd always be happy to help and would very much like to befriend the group. Ellie arrived at the sloth's home time some time later. At first, they were a bit surprised to see a purple Ellie in their home but after a few minutes, they gave her food and drink and wrote a message back to Yui to say they'd very much like to be friends. And so, a lifelong friendship between Purple Flower Garden and Sloth Empire was born. As the old wise sloth Paul sulked through the rose fields of the empire, he thought about home, where all his sloth friends are. He told his friend and colleague Mhearl he longed for his rightful home in the Sloth Empire. Mhearl, with a look of concern for his dear old friend pleaded with him not to leave, emphasizing that there was a ton of work to do. Paul stood his ground, for he knew it was time. The Sloth Empire beckoned to him. Mhearl admitted defeat, but insisted on offering safe passage to his wise sloth friend. Paul gladly accepted on behalf of his new sloth overlords. Buorhann the Hungry Hippo, Conqueror of Central Asia, was swimming through his mud pool when his hippo snout caught a whiff of strangers on the horizon. Knowing not if they were friends or enemies, he sent his trusted right hand kangaroo Sketchy to scout out the new arrivals. Sketchy sighted the waving flag of the sloth army, and bounded back towards his hippo master to tell him all about their proudly-borne ensign—a sloth farting on a background as green as the forest. Buorhann was curious. He rose out of the mud baths, shaking his green hide to rid himself of the grime, before slowly stomping over to meet the sloths. Their leaders, Redarmy and Smith, met him and his unbearable scent head-on. “We come with a proposal,” the sloths declared. “We want your help, and in exchange you would get all the glory and burn all the pixels you’d ever want.” Buorhann flinched at the last line, ready to correct them and assert his true pixelhugging nature, but Sketchy the ever-ambitious, truth-peddling kangaroo silenced him just in time and shook on the deal. With that, the sloths and the Mongol horde allied together. On Westeros, King Squeegee sat on his throne of leaks as a sloth walked in. “My good king Squeegee, I present a request from Redarmy and Smith of the Slothen Empire for a formal alliance.” Squeegee good-naturedly accepted, with one request. “On the condition that my good friend the cat-stealer, who seems to be traveling with you, be given Smith’s cat.” The sloth squeaked, but seeing as Squeegee’s kingdoms would be a reliable and leak-free friendship, eventually approved of it. In this way, the varied species of the mythical land of Westeros joined the sloths in exchange for the selling out of Smith’s cat to Cuppy. The sloths visited the black hole of memes next, known as Oblivion to the outside world. They knocked on Park’s door first, requesting an audience. After a very curt “frick off, ye wankers,” they made their way to Ockey. The sloth diplomats asked Ockey if he would allow his black hole to assist in their world-changing adventures. He stared at them for a moment, before grumbling out a “sure, now go away before I roll you” and shutting the door. The sloths were confused, but having succeeded in their goal of recruiting the laser-powered cats to their cause, went along their merry way. Smith shivered as he climbed up Mount Olympus. It was unbearably cold, and he was used to the tropical, humid forests of his homeland. Luckily, a dinosaur waddled down the massive mountain to meet him halfway. “RAWR! WHO GOES THERE?” she held up a tiny claw and stared at the frostbitten sloth. Smith straggled forward. “I-- i want,” he breathed in deeply. “I want to ally my sloths to your gods,” he sneezed. The dinosaur squinted at him. “Hrmph,” she scoffed, “only if you promise you won’t coup us, rob our bank, delete our Discord channels, brainwash our government members, weasel in Syndicate spies--” Smith rolled his eyes (as much as he could, given their frozen state) and cut her off, agreeing to not do anything to Pantheon of malicious intent. Ripper, the Space-faring Admiral, watched all of these happenings from outer space as he chugged jug after jug of red kool-aid. As he slammed the last jug down onto his desk, his fellow Man in Space Thrax walked in. “Have you been watching these sloths on the ground? They seem pretty legitimate,” he mused to the former pirate. “Yes, Uncle Thrax. I so very much concur with your impression of these peculiar animals,” replied Ripper in his formal manner. “Open a line of communication with these sloths. I wish to assist them.” So Ripper and Thrax beamed themselves down to Earth, meeting up with Redarmy to secure their mammal-to-alien friendship. Smith had the good luck to be married to the most powerful woman in Orbis, the Radiant Queen of TKR, Adrienne. Adrienne on the other hand, had the very poor luck of being married to Smith. “Adrienne will you please protect my sloth alliance?” Smith pleaded. “Is this another dumb joke Smith?” Adrienne asked. “I swear it’s not. This is definitely a real thing,” Smith replied. “What day are you guys declaring?” she asked. “Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, lets maybe go over that later. So what do you say?” Smith meekly answered. “Okay, I will but, swear to god if this is another stupid joke…” And with that Smith secured TKR’s protection. ◄♦► With their new allies, the Sloths set out to change the world. Edited April 1, 2019 by Smith 9 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pasky Darkfire Posted April 1, 2019 Share Posted April 1, 2019 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Redarmy Posted April 1, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted April 1, 2019 5 3 Quote "Though it starts with a fist it must end with your mind." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hope Posted April 1, 2019 Share Posted April 1, 2019 (edited) Edited April 1, 2019 by hope 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Spaceman Thrax Posted April 1, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted April 1, 2019 Huh. Apparently you CAN build an alliance around the void where charisma is supposed to go. 9 4 Quote Slaughter the shits of the world. They poison the air you breathe. ~ William S. Burroughs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betulius Posted April 1, 2019 Share Posted April 1, 2019 6 Quote Dec 26 18:48:22 <JacobH[Arrgh]> God your worse the grealind >.> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikey Posted April 1, 2019 Share Posted April 1, 2019 (edited) They're no lobsters, but you gotta love 'em. Edited April 1, 2019 by Mikey 3 Quote Archduke Tyrell, Lord of Highgarden, Lord Paramount of the Reach, Warden of the South, Breaker of Forums. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurdanak Posted April 1, 2019 Share Posted April 1, 2019 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belisarius Posted April 1, 2019 Share Posted April 1, 2019 God speed little fellas ;-;7 4 Quote http://i.imgur.com/K3xCRAP.png Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Buorhann Posted April 1, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted April 1, 2019 Cheers? Oh, here's another one. Ok, this is a abomination that I found. Our Protector status is annulled. This cannot happen (It's literally titled Hippo Sloth lady) 4 6 Quote Warrior of Dio https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfPCFQfOnLg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ivan Ivanov Posted April 1, 2019 Share Posted April 1, 2019 And you only step down from the Protectorate tree to take a dump before climbing back up. Quote inb4 new spy operation “Plane Hijack” This is the 21000th post in this subform and I'm fine with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Auctor Posted April 1, 2019 Share Posted April 1, 2019 Yeah ok we get it. April 1st. Ha. Ha. 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Smith Posted April 1, 2019 Author Popular Post Share Posted April 1, 2019 2 minutes ago, Auctor said: Yeah ok we get it. April 1st. Ha. Ha. Auctor shot up in bed, his NPO sheets drenched in sweat. Something was off with PnW today. Somebody was having fun. "Not on my watch," Auctor said. 6 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redarmy Posted April 1, 2019 Share Posted April 1, 2019 2 3 Quote "Though it starts with a fist it must end with your mind." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zei-Sakura Alsainn Posted April 1, 2019 Share Posted April 1, 2019 1 hour ago, Spaceman Thrax said: Huh. Apparently you CAN build an alliance around the void where charisma is supposed to go. Well, I mean, yeah. It's what you did, you blazed the trail for the Sloth Empire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Micchan Posted April 1, 2019 Share Posted April 1, 2019 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LUNCH Posted April 1, 2019 Share Posted April 1, 2019 14 hours ago, Redarmy said: What in God's name is th-- Quote Inhabitor of Forum Games & Spam. I live there. It's my home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyubnyan Posted April 1, 2019 Share Posted April 1, 2019 6 minutes ago, LUNCH said: What in God's name is th-- That's Smofftopia baby. 1 1 Quote Humans cannot create anything out of nothingness. Humans cannot accomplish anything without holding onto something. After all, humans are not gods. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betulius Posted April 1, 2019 Share Posted April 1, 2019 17 minutes ago, Kyubnyan said: That's Smofftopia baby. can confirm, we're definitely Pantheon 1 Quote Dec 26 18:48:22 <JacobH[Arrgh]> God your worse the grealind >.> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyubnyan Posted April 1, 2019 Share Posted April 1, 2019 1 minute ago, Betulius said: can confirm, we're definitely Pantheon coups Smoth and goes into VM Now we are. 1 Quote Humans cannot create anything out of nothingness. Humans cannot accomplish anything without holding onto something. After all, humans are not gods. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LUNCH Posted April 1, 2019 Share Posted April 1, 2019 (edited) 17 hours ago, Auctor said: Yeah ok we get it. April 1st. Ha. Ha. 1 ? It better not be - we just got a Protectorate from them! Edited April 1, 2019 by LUNCH Spelling Quote Inhabitor of Forum Games & Spam. I live there. It's my home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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