Les Paul Crunchwrap Supreme v Zeebruhh

[丂ħ̧i̧₣ɫ̵γ͘ ̶™]

Due to the sudden and vile attacks on LPS, the international court of Orbis has decided to appoint me to this case. I was the only e-lawyer available on short notice (I have no life) and justice must be served swiftly for Mr. Dr. Professor Paul Supreme. He is indeed, as I have been informed, a busy man.

 

Now let us present the evidence as it stands:

 

At exactly 4:20pm today, my client Dr. LPS had just cleared security and was boarding his flight.

 

 

4:45pm- Upon reaching his seat, he took out a bag of Doritos Cool Ranch and some Mtn Dew. He decided to play his favorite cassette on his Walkman and took some time to relax.

 

As you can see by the lyrics, LPS is clearly a peaceful individual. What happens next is detestable.

 

4:45pm- As LPS finishes his Mtn Dew and Doritos, he decides to play his favorite song for an 8th time. That is when the unthinkable happens. Mensa Airlines declares that they are overbooked and simply do not have enough slots. They request a volunteer. That is when the barbaric Zeebrus, a nasty and ill-tempered brute of an employee for the TSAyy, decides that LPS will have to give up his seat. Mr. Dr. Professor Paul Supreme is outraged and most of all flabbergasted that he, a paying customer, must surrender his seat due to Mensa's failure to coordinate. Zeebrus, not having any of it, viciously attacks LPS, brutally subduing him and breaking his favorite guitar in the process. An ayylien onboard the same flight caught the footage.

 

 

Ayylien Testimony: "She was like a rabid animal. It's like as if her hive was being attacked. She had no remorse and attacked the poor doctor with this intense hatred in her eyes...I couldn't believe it. She kept making angry buzzing noises and saying 'dirty pixel hugger.' She even got some people to chant 'throw him out the airlock' and 'VALID CB.' I thought to myself, did I smoke too much dank weed? Am I imagining this? Ayy lmao."

 

So now, I stand before you the jury, to decide:

 

Is Zeebrus guilty of hate crimes, assault and battery, and the defamation of LPS?

 

and is Mensa Airlines liable for any damages incurred to LPS?

 

I hope you all make the right choice and may Alex deliver justice.

 

I rest my 12-pack case of Budweiser on this bench, I have to use the bathroom, no one take any.

 

Now I rest my case.

Edited May 6, 2017 by Shifty Stranger

[Sisyphus]

Can I have a beer?

[Darth Revan]

That was....entertaining. 

 

 

in b4 I get sued

 

[Buorhann]

The best

[ArcKnox]

In the interest of fairness, and in light of Dr. Supreme's incredibly busy schedule, I would ask the court to allow me to sit in for him as his proxy for the purposes of these proceedings.

Edited May 7, 2017 by ArcKnox

[Axel Holden]

I was gonna read this - never liked zeebrus - so I didn't read it.

[Katie]

I was gonna read this - never liked zeebrus - so I didn't read it.

 

smh you are bad and this is a bad opinion T B H

[James II]

smh you are bad and this is a bad opinion T B H

Mention the word "pixel hugger" it's only natural a member of KT would get triggered.  

 

Sorry Thalmor <3

[Thalmor]

Mention the word "pixel hugger" it's only natural a member of KT would get triggered.  

 

Sorry Thalmor <3

 

I'll forgive you this time.

[Rozalia]

With Dr. Professor Paul Supreme having been killed under suspicious circumstances the case against Zeebrus builds.

[Tywin Lannister]

With Dr. Professor Paul Supreme having been killed under suspicious circumstances the case against Zeebrus builds.

 

Early reports are suggesting suicide but the matter is being thoroughly investigated. We will keep you updated as the story progresses. 

[Dobby the Free Elf]

As a member of the jury, I think LPS deserves an extra 5k infra per a city and an apology, paid for by Zeebrus and Mensa airlines. I also think zeebrus should be required to admit his real gender. Now, it would help if he had a nation, but since he doesn't the payment will go to me, his rightful heir. I've studied his military doctrine, and I'm ready to be the next LPS.

[vonnorman]

Holy shit go zeebus!!!

[Axel Holden]

smh you are bad and this is a bad opinion T B H

 

Mention the word "pixel hugger" it's only natural a member of KT would get triggered.  

 

Sorry Thalmor <3

 

Y'all are cuties. <3

[Katie]

Y'all are cuties. <3

 

who r u

[Fuckface Larry]

Who could be against Zeebrus? Everyone likes Zeebrus, she brings Orbis together. 

[Dobby the Free Elf]

Who could be against Zeebrus? Everyone likes Zeebrus, she brings Orbis together.

#lockherup

I stand against zeebrus as it is not a she, it's gender is not female, but something else. What, you may ask? I don't know, but I will find out

[Axel Holden]

who r u

 

Probably your future Daddy.

[Katie]

Probably your future Daddy.

i already have one

 

p.s. i'll &#33;@#&#036;ing destroy you you little &#33;@#&#036;

Edited May 8, 2017 by Katie

[Patty]

This thread is mildy interesting

[Axel Holden]

i already have one

 

p.s. i'll !@#$ destroy you you little !@#$

 

Destroy my anus. plez.

[Katie]

Destroy my anus. plez.

 

 

this is why no one likes boys

[Axel Holden]

this is why no one likes boys

 

Thanks for assuming my gender. Like, wow. 

[Tali]

this is why no one likes boys

Can confirm hes a grill