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Khris Kruel

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About Khris Kruel

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    New Member

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  • Alliance Pip
  • Leader Name
    Khris Kruel
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    Khris Kruel
  1. Well, it starts with a hug :winky face: and then some love :sexy winky face:
  2. You don't? There ain't no girls around these parts, my boy. This is the internet, and everyone needs some love.
  3. A shirtless young man with cut off jean shorts, scrawly blonde hair, and sunglasses bigger than his head walks up to the podium. He has a glass half full with what appears to be a dark rum. "Welcome, welcome. As Lard Commandante, we accept this surrender of the boys. We have had two days of gnawing and gnashing bloody hugs and kisses, and it is with great honor we say that our 40 man alliance has barely conquered this tough 5 man foe," Khris Kruel says solemnly to the crowd. "We laughed, we cried, we yelled, we kissed. It was tumultous and arduent. But we perservered through the bad grammar and misspelling of words that flooded The Boys inboxes. Some would say technically we started the fight, and to them I would say nay, only the red eye god chooses who is guilty and who starts wars. We were chivalrous and honorable throughout, and we will always carry on our proud GOON tradition of fighting honorable battles. Did I mention honorable?" Khris Kruel downs the rest of his drink and throws his glass into the crowd of 5 people. He gives the double peace sign and pushes over the podium.
  4. Hello World! I am your courageous, chivalrous, honorable Lard Commandante! My goal in life and one dream is to make sure every single one of you gets hugged by a GOON! I will be in charge of directing the hugs towards your citizens and will be sharing our truths with your culture. There may be some changes in your culture, or nay even a shift in the temperment of your citizens. This is normal! When showered with love and the wonderful light of the red eye, it is only natural to feel physical sensations that your body is not comfortable with or has ever experienced. I promise you, this is all part of the process of being one with the red eye. So please, feather up those pillows, and put your sunday best on, because hugs are free!
  5. Hello all! I am here and ready to raid your booty! I am a self identified pirate, and my pronouns are Yar and Yahar. I am Jewish and love communism and weed and LSD. I will be visiting your cultures to share mine with yours! Praise be the red eye!
  6. The revolution has ended. The smoke has settled. The brotherhood has been born. Justice has prevailed and our new leader Khris Kruel has been established in the new nation. We have overthrown the plutocrats! All hail the glorious red eye! As we speak, our citizens are being released of their worldly possessions and given their daily supplement of LSD and Marijuana. This is what the country wants and needs. This is what the revolution was for. No more burdening of the mind, only expanding. No spiritual oppression, only liberation. While the nation is called Legislation because of the old ways, there will be a reconditioning of everything that is the red eye. Our country is in a period of transition. The following proclamations are hereby instituted: -All peace treaties are null and void -All trade deals are null and void. If you still wish to do trade with the glorious spiritual nation of Legislation, please submit your application and prior trade experience with the Ministry of Paperwork to be processed. We will need to review your cultural sensibilities to see if it is prudent to trade with your nation. -All diplomats have had their minds and body expanded, indefinitely. We are not accepting diplomats at this time. -All neighboring countries will have their truths heard, and we support you. You will also be hearing about our pleasurable experience of booty raiding very soon. It is our main export! What is it like in the nation of Legislation? Well, the citizens spend 12 hours a day in our marijuana and LSD dispensaries. All revenue generated from our citizens is placed in the Ministry of Booty, where we will distribute according to need. Mainly the military. After work, our citizens will be free to go anywhere in the nation as long as it is in a pleasure dome. There they will smell the air of freedom opium, partake in mandatory marijuana and LSD experiences, and let their physical flesh be one with as many other spiritual warriors as possible. We bend over and worship the red eye with all our might. Please, if you are ready to let us export our booty raids, send your request to the Ministry of Love, and we will send a vanguard of love to you as soon as possible. You may have your cultural differences, but I promise ours will be very convincing! We are excited to share our culture with you as soon as possible!
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