TheNG

Alright, I'll bite. Lets take go with your example, hypothetical Diabolos has 18 ships sitting pretty. For the sake of argument, I'll assume there are no spy attacks that would've made it very hard to maintain those 18 ships. Diabolos's 3 original opponents were Grandmaster Chad, Placentica, and Phiney. Since I don't know all your prewar stats, lets say you all have 18 ships and roughly equal air forces. (Numbers are mostly irrelevant here) So, its midnight, and you three all declare war. Placentica immediately goes first with an air attack targeting ships. It will pyrrhic for both sides, but considering the damage planes do to ships, and the number of planes involved, I would say it is quite reasonable to expect it destroys 4 ships. Then Phiney strikes ships in an air attacks, wins the air battle handily, and sinks 4 more ships. Finally Grandmaster Chad does the same, wins the air combat decisively, destroying most of Diabolos's remaining air force, and sinking 4 more ships. This happens in about 2 minutes. In 2 minutes 300 steel and $600,000 have been destroyed. At that point, it is already game over. Diabolos's 3 opponents wait 4 hours, and then launch another round of airstrikes. The first 2 finish off the remaining ships (assuming they all destroy 4), and the 3rd person sends in their navy unopposed to put Diabolos under a blockade. They may have taken some air force losses, which they were going to take anyway, but none of them lost a single ship. Lets say that Diabolos had to buy all that steel for ships on the market at a price of $2500 per ton. Thats $1,125,000 spent on 450 steel, plus the $600,000 for buying the boats, plus another $500,000 for the drydocks. Add that up for a grand total of $2,225,000 spent on 18 boats which were destroyed almost immediately and had no real impact other than to buy Diabolos 4 hours of time. I wouldn't call that a fair trade, would you?

Sorry Jodo, but I've fought in just as many world wars as you have. But by all means, tell me what I'm missing. I would sincerely like to know if you could make ships useful in a situation like the one being discussed. Don't dismiss someone if you have nothing to back it up with.

You were warned. Now it is too late...

My point was that navies rarely meet, and that air forces almost always are the primary ship killers, the bug only made this worse by ensuring that ships could die in battles beside immense victories, though we didn't know it. As you guys were more organized, and even a 3v2 gave the advantage in airforces to you guys, any ships we had would've been slaughtered. This fact, which would've wasted a lot of steel, combined with the real spy threat, kept our ship numbers down.

Even in pure naval combat, those ships would've died pretty fast against 3 opponents with fairly equal navies who attack all at the same time. Besides, no one really does naval combat, they target the ships when going in with planes. Remember, this was the time when even utter failures slaughtered ships. Our hypothetical top 5 member with 10 ships hastily built up would've had his 3 opponents send in their planes and although the air battles might've been inconclusive, the ships would've died nonetheless. That would've been 250 steel wasted for no gain. I will say that I did have ships before the war, and my first two opponents sent in their planes, killing my airforce and navy, while the third simply rolled unopposed and put me under a blockade. Unless we had been extensively building up ships and huge air forces to support them before the war, like you guys, any last-minute shipbuilding (if we knew when the war was starting) would've been a waste of steel.

Considering that any missiles (which I believe are harder to destroy) we built were dropping like flies, any ships weren't safe. Besides even if we knew when war would be declared and the top 5 each built 10 ships, they would've each gone against 3 people with equal or more ships. The ships would've been a waste of steel which would have only slowed down the inevitable.

You guys are giving kyte way to much credit. When he came to us, it was a surprise, as people don't usually leave SK, and come to us. When we asked him why he left, he said that SK had told all their members to build up for a war coming soon, and that target lists had been drawn up, but that they had refused to tell the members who they were actually going to war with. He disliked not being told, and left to find an alliance with a less opaque command structure. Obviously, he ended up with us, but didn't leave just to "spill the beans," just to get out of an alliance which refused to tell him who they were going to war. He couldn't tell us everything because he hadn't been told anything. In the end, all we got from him was this:SK was building up to attack an unknown alliance at some point in the future. Obviously, we could draw some extra conclusions from what he said, and I don't know whether his story is entirely truthful, although it makes sense, but we didn't know which alliances would be attacking us or when the dow would be until it happened. As for why we had so few ships, spies were killing them faster than many members could build, so many didn't bother if they would just be destroyed. In addition, even if we found out when the war was going to happen beforehand, there would've been no time to build up a meaningful navy when you guys already had hundereds of ships. As for the ships bug, we didn't know about it beforehand, we only found out when TEst starting making a big fuss. Sure a few people may have used it, but most people had no airforce anyway, and Sheepy patched it out of existence quickly. The idea that we knew about it before and were trying to rely on it is utterly ridiculous.

5/10 not enough nukes

If your color doesn't match that of your alliance, then you don't get the bonus for that color.

Yes, I like this idea. Perhaps instead of sacrificing infrastructure, which is usually quite damaged in a war anyway, someone who "activates" conscription for a time in order to recruit more soldiers should pay double wartime matinence on all soldiers, not just extra ones. It should probably also be a wartime thing, and not something a nation does anytime it wants to build soldiers faster.

Nope, not a lie. Our tax rate is currently 0%.

Nuclear power is what you use when someone "accidentally" sets your oil wells on fire. Smell that? Its the sweet scent of energy independence. (Also, I demand Sheepy add in an "immolate wellheads" option for wartime/peacetime.)

Well here we are. This will be the final scene of the play, and all your questions won't be answered. Does Guardian find true love? When is Rose going to drop its next mixtape? Will I do something productive with my free time? How do magnets work? Anyway, sit back and enjoy the show. The (Insert Name Here) War, A Play Written by: TheNG Edited by: TheNG Starring: Rose as itself Guardian as itself Seven Kingdoms as itself Terminus Est as itself Brotherhood of the Clouds as itself The Dutch East India Company as itself United Purple Nations as itself Empire of Spades as itself Ignis Immortales as itself The Supreme Gentlemen as itself Green Protection Agency as itself Act 2 Scene 2 - A parking lot behind the Orbis Wal-Mart Scene: The lot is entirely abandoned, with the exception of Sheepy, who is making a furtive sacrifice to the blood god in an empty refrigerator box. Clouds blanket the sky, and a brisk wind sends plastic bags flying around. enter Guardian, Rose, Seven Kingdoms, and Terminus Est Guardian *excitedly* Alright, our mortal foes shall be here soon! We need to prepare an ambush. Rose, hide behind the shopping cart. SK, behind the light pole. I'll be back here, behind all this donation bin. Terminus Est What about me? Guardian Since you are the weakest link, stand right here in the middle and serve as our bait. Look pathetic, though it shouldn't be too hard. Terminus Est Its hard to look weak when I once disemboweled a guy just so I could get his souvenir keychain. It had my name on it, you see. Rose *excitedly* Can I play with the intestines? Seven Kingdoms *exasperatedly* Rose, TEst is making that up. Its never disemboweled anyone. Guardian All of you, shut up! Now TEst, stand there or I'll break your other kneecap! Everyone else, get into position, I think I hear them! Guardian, Rose, and Seven Kingdoms move into their hiding places. Terminus Est hobbles into position in the middle of the lot enter United Purple Nations, The Dutch East India Company, and Brotherhood of the Clouds, discussing the differences between lemonade and limeade. The Dutch East India Company Well I'm telling you, limes are really much be- *with surprise* Well well well, if it isn't our old friend Terminus Est. What are you doing here? Terminus Est I'm here to inflict severe bodily harm, of course. United Purple Yeah, how you gonna do that? By shooting yourself again? How is that leg by the way? Terminus Est I only need one to kick your ass. Brotherhood of the Clouds So where are your loser posse TEst? They run scared, like last time? Guardian Right here! ​Guardian, Rose, and Seven Kingdoms spring out of hiding, surrounding The Dutch East India Company, United Purple Nations, and Brotherhood of the Clouds. Guardian *eagerly* Now whose at a disadvantage? Heheh, you fell right into my clever trap! Brotherhood of the Clouds Clever? You must admit this trap is rather rudimentary. Anyone could really come up with it. Guardian What?! My genius is unparalleled! Do you think idiots like Seven Kingdoms could come up with something of this caliber? Seven Kingdoms Yeah, I could. This was pretty simple. Guardian *angrily* Shut up! The point is, you've fallen into my trap. Prepare to get crushed for all eternity! The Dutch East India Company You know, why do you hate us so much? Guardian A long history of tyranny going back to when we los- suffered an minor and temporary setback this afternoon! Seven Kingdoms *with brutal honesty* We were bored and looking for some fun. Rose wanted to play on the slide. Brotherhood of the Clouds That is pretty sad. Guardian I'll let SK's treason slide because you'll never get to leave and tell anyone! ATTACK! Mysterious Voice Not so fast! A bag of trash splits in half and Empire of Spades steps out Empire of Spades I can't let you do that Guardian. Like I said before, UPN owes me $5. $5 which I intend to collect. Guardian *huaghtily* Yeah? Well, I guess you'll just have to do that after we're done. United Purple Nations EOS, you're alive? Rose said that it ate you! Empire of Spades hangs its head in frustration Empire of Spades And all you guys believed Rose? Since when has Rose done anything that would lead you to believe it could actually eat me? The Dutch East India Company I dunno, it just sounded like something Rose would do. Rose I can eat you if I want. Spades are just like stickers and rocks, very chewy. Empire of Spades That is really messed up. Have you ever gotten Rose checked out? Seven Kingdoms The doctor says its permanent. Empire of Spades Shame. Anyway, if you won't let me at UPN, I'll go through you first! Guardian I knew I was right to not let you join our party! Sick EOS, allies! Rose and Seven Kingdoms run at Empire of Spades, who nimbly dodges away and charges Guardian. Empire of Spades pulls out a knife and is about to stab Guardian when Ignis Immortales appears from nowhere and launches itself at Empire of Spades. Guardian What? Empire of Spades What the- Instead of shredding Guardian, Empire of Spade's blade cuts deep into Ignis Immortales. Ignis Immotales falls to the ground, bleeding, while Guardian bends over it. All the other alliances stand still. Gaurdian *confused and angry* Ignis, why did you do that, you idiot! I had everything under control! Ingnis Immortales *weakly* Because...... I love you.... Guardian...... I...... just...... wanted to.... help.... I'm glad...I saved... you... Guardian Well, I'm not glad you moron! At least you could've taken down EOS before you got stabbed! And where are the missiles I sent you to buy?! Thanks for being completely useless! Ignis Immortales *weakly* You're....not...happy?....But....I....... Ignis Immortale's head rolls back, and its eyes close for the final time Seven Kingdoms *accusatorially to Empire of Spades* You killed Ignis! Empire of Spades Eh, whatever. Its not like Ignis really matters. Guardian Yeah, fair point. A shot rings out, and Empire of Spades collapses to the ground. United Purple Nations lowers its weapon United Purple Nations Sorry EOS, but I need that $5. You should've stayed dead. ​The Dutch East India Company and Brotherhood of the Clouds pull out guns and the three turn to face Guardian, Rose, Terminus Est, and Seven Kingdoms The Dutch East India Company Lets polish off these idiots for real, then get out of here. I say this takes 2 minutes tops. Brotherhood of the Clouds You're on! Brotherhood of the Clouds and The Dutch East India Company fist bump Seven Kingdoms Not today! For too long have we been oppressed by cruel and callous alliances. Now, we end that threat! For Ignis Immortales! Guardian *whispers* Not for Ignis, thats embarrassing... The Dutch East India Company *sarcastically* Nice role-play, how long did it take you to come up with that! Seven Kingdoms Less than it'll take to finish you off! Ahhhhhh! Seven Kingdoms and Rose charge, followed by Guardian. Terminus Est hobbles as fast as it can behind them. Dutch East India Company, United Purple Nations, and Brotherhood of the Clouds charge as well, and the two groups meet in the middle of the parking lot in a frenzy of shots and fisticuffs. Terminus Est I may be slow, but I'm still crazy! Take this. Terminus Est fires two shots. One manages to curve into its uninjured knee, and Terminus Est collapses. The other bullet slams into Seven Kingdoms, who takes another step and then falls to the ground, dead. Guardian Noooooooooo! Seven Kingdoms! Rose barrels into The Dutch East India Company and Brotherhood of the Clouds, sending them both flying. It then begins to pummel UPN. ​Guardian charges The Dutch East India Company and tries to to keep the alliance down with punches and kicks. Guardian That was for Seven Kingdoms! And that was for my obsessive compulsive hatred of you! And that was for my mother! And that was for world peace! And that was- Brothehood of the Clouds calmly walks up behind Guardian and stabs it with Empire of Spade's knife. Fueled by obsessive hatred, Guardian turns around and tears the knife out from its back and swings wildly at Brotherhood of the Clouds. Brotherhood of the Clouds and The Dutch East India Company back away and watch as Guardian staggers around until it collapses. The Dutch East India Company Where's The Almighty when you need him now? Brotherhood of the Clouds Nice line. The Dutch East India Company Thanks, it was really only natural for such an all-around amazing alliance like myself. Lets go finish off Rose. Rose picks up United Purple Nations, and throws the alliance across the lot, but United Purple Nations lands on its feet. Rose begins singing tribal chants. United Purple Nations *creeped out* Man, why did I have to fight Rose? Oh well, lets cut this rose's stem! United Purple Nations picks up its gun and prepares to fire when Rose suddenly breaks and runs away. United Purple Nations What!? ​Rose yells that it must preserve the line of kings and disappears around the corner of the store. The Dutch East India Company and Brotherhood of the Clouds join United Purple Nations United Purple Nations Rose got away. Brotherhood of the Clouds Oh well, we still won conclusively, as was expected. How much time, by the way? The Dutch East India Company 1 minute 43 seconds, looks like I win. Brotherhood of the Clouds Rats! The three alliances turn to Terminus Est, who is laying on the ground, looking terrified. The Dutch East India Company What do you want to do with TEst. United Purple Nations We're merciful, more than these guys would've ever been. Lets leave this one alone. Brotherhood of the Clouds Alright! As the three alliances take one last look at Terminus Est, Brotherhood of the Clouds suddenly gives out a cry and collapses, a katana in its back. The Dutch East India Company and United Purple Nations turn around in shock and horror to see a familiar alliance standing in the lot. Green Protection Agency Hello my fellows. United Purple Nations *shocked* What did you do? Green Protection Agency I was simply securing my rule over this world. I thank you for eliminating so much of the competition, but I'm afraid your usefulness is at its end. Goodbye. United Purple Nations If you think we're going to let some dirty neutral rule this place, you're sadly mistaken! The Dutch East India Company Lets show this hippie how us blocs do things around here! The Dutch East India Company and United Purple Nations hold up their hands and begin to glow. When the glow fades, a single alliance stands in their place. The two alliances have merged. United Company of East Indies Nations Didn't expect that, did you! This one is for Brotherhood! United Company of East Indies Nations takes a thundering step forward and tries to crush Green Protection Agency. However Green Protection Agency simply dodges the massive alliance and flicks its hand, sending United Company of East Indies Nations flying into a wall, where it dissolves into its two constituent alliances, who do not move. Green Protection Agency Well that was.. unimpressive. All these warlike alliances are fools anyway. Killing and maiming themselves while I take over behind the scenes. If only they knew their pathetic little plots and petty rivalries were utterly meaningless. If they had united, they might have stood a chance. Green Protection Agency stares around at the devastation, its eyes alighting on Terminus Est Terminus Est *nervously* We're cool, right? Green Protection Agency Sorry, no blood-drinking cultists my new world. Insane relics like yourself deserve only to cease existing. Green Protection Agency flicks its hand again, and Terminus Est spontaneously combusts, melting into a pool of bile and ill-thought out forum posts Green Protection Agency Well, I suppose that it is time to begin ruling my new domain. It has been a blast everyone... Green Protection Agency turns and begins to walk out of the parking lot, away from the fallen alliances, giving no further thought to the foes which it had vanquished, and only to the future. Suddenly, an alliance becomes relevant and materializes next to Green Protection Agency. The Supreme Gentlemen Heeeey GPA, loved the final speech. Very classy. I always knew that you would win, I'm pretty good at picking winners. Say, you need any help running this place? I could be very helpful! ​Green Protection Agency I'm sorry, who are you? The Supreme Gentlemen *frustrated* FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- End Well congratulations on reaching the end. I think we all knew what would happen. Let this completely truthful play serve as a warning to all future generations. May the brave Covenant alliances never be forgotten, while everyone else can be safely forgotten. Trust me.

Well, I'm on a roll now. Lets continue onward, shall we? The (Insert Name Here) War, A Play Written by: TheNG Edited by: TheNG Starring: Rose as itself Guardian as itself Seven Kingdoms as itself Empire of Spades as itself Ignis Immortales as itself The Supreme Gentlemen as itself Imperial Cavalry of Exorbitance as itself INTL Anarchist Communist Front as itself Ordo Draconum as itself Act 2 Scene 1 - The backyard of Guardian's home. Scene: The backyard is verdant, covered in grass and shrubs. Seven Kingdoms sits at a table writing Lord of the Rings fan fiction while a small group of alliances mill around, making small talk. Sheepy walks among them, giving out blessings. Enter Guardian and Rose Guardian walks over and sits down besides Seven Kingdoms. Rose eagerly watches a caterpillar eat a leaf. Seven Kingdoms How did the spying go? Guardian ​*haughtily* Excellent, as with all my endeavors of course. So, are these all the alliances which wanted to help? You know, I thought there'd be more. Seven Kingdoms Well, it turns out that we are all incredibly unpopular, so I was only able to get a few to come over here. We can ask them a few questions to see whether they are a good fit. Guardian Do we have to? I mean, I still think we can do everything on our own, its not like UPN, DEIC, and BoC are better than us in every way. Seven Kingdoms Well, they really are, look what happened last time. Guardian begins to cry Guardian Why do you constantly have to destroy my fragile and pathetic self-esteem SK? Seven Kingdoms Listen, lets just talk to some of these guys first, OK? Guardian dries its eyes Guardian Fine, but then we go crush them and fulfill the natural order. Seven Kingdoms *paternally* Of course Guardian, I wouldn't have it any other way. *shouts* Form a line guys! First alliance step forward! A small, short alliance steps forward. Although it strongly resembles Seven Kingdoms, it manages to be even less impressive Guardian What's your name? Ordo Draconum I'm Ordo Draconum sir! Guardian Do I know you? Seven Kingdoms He's my little brother Guardian Man, you guys are both ugly Seven Kingdoms and Ordo Draconum Hey! Guardian What, I'm just being honest. Anyway, I'll pass on you Ordo. Seven Kingdoms But why? We need the help. Guardian You're just kind of small Ordo, I mean even BoC could stomp on you! Seven Kingdoms Since when do you care about others personal safety? Guardian Normally I don't care about others at all, but there are slightly more impressive alliances in line. Next! Seven Kingdoms whispers to Ordo Draconum, who walks away dejectedly. The next alliance, a ragged and dirty creature, steps forward. Exit Ordo Draconum Guardian Alright, what is your name? INTL Anarchist Communist Front My name is INTL Anarchist Communist Front. Guardian *whisper to Seven Kingdoms* This guy seems like a commie. You know how we hate these guys. Seven Kingdoms *whisper* Trust me,it isn't, it may seem a little weird, but it could be useful. INTL Anarchist Communist Front You know, I can hear everything you are saying, and I'm not a commie. I'm an anarchist. Guardian Oh, spying are we, you despicable monster! Leave my sight at once you filthy commie! INTL Anarchist Communist Front I'm telling you, I'm not a communist, I'm an anarchist! Guardian I don't care! I don't like you anyway, and if I don't like you, you rapidly become an unhealthy obsession for me for weeks and weeks, building up to a massive all-powerful strike! Now get out before I kill you! INTL Anarchist Communist Front You can't kill anything! Thats why I'm here right now! Guardian lets out a strangled scream and lunges for INTL Anarchist Communist Front. Seven Kingdoms struggles to hold Guardian back and frantically motions for INTL Anarchist Communist Front to leave. exit INTL Anarchist Communist Front Seven Kingdoms Guardian, calm down! Guardian *screaming loudly* After I smash my other enemies, you'll be next! FEAR ME! Seven Kingdoms Uh, next! Next! A third alliance steps forward while Seven Kingdoms manages to push Guardian back into its seat. Guardian *attempting to calm down* Your name? Empire of Spades C'mon, you guys don't remember me? Seven Kingdoms EOS? I thought you were dead? Rose said he ate you... Empire of Spades Hah, that idiot couldn't kill me if it tried. Nah, I was just hiding out, and now I'm back to kick some ass! Guardian ​But you're friends with DEIC, UPN, and BoC. Why do you want to help us? Empire of Spades Because I'm bored, and you guys are so pathetic, its funny. Plus, I have a blood feud with UPN, it owes me $5. Guardian We're pathetic?! You're pathetic! And I'll prove that we're not pathetic! We don't need your help at all! I'll beat them all without you! Empire of Spades Eh, whatever guys, I can always fight you. Have fun getting beat. Empire of Spades pulls out a cigar and walks away humming, while Guardian stares angrily and Seven Kingdoms hangs its head. exit Empire of Spades Seven Kingdoms *exasperatedly* Come on Guardian, we have to get someone to help us! Some of those alliances could've been useful. You've got to stop driving people away. Guardian I've been driving people away all my short, miserable life! Why stop now! Anyway, all these alliances were terrible. Where is good help when you need it? Seven Kingdoms We are the good help (which is saying something I suppose.) Ugh, oh well. Next! An tall, handsome, and impressive alliance steps forward. It exudes confidence and competence. The mouths of Guardian and Seven Kingdoms hang open Guardian Can I please be your friend? Seven Kingdoms No pick me! Please! I want to have a normal alliance for a friend! Mysterious Alliance I heard you guys needed some help, well I can provide. Guardian *excitedly* Yes, yes you can help us! What is your name? Mysterious Alliance My name is Imperial Cavalry of Exorbitance, you can call me ICE for short. Seven Kingdoms Have I heard of you before? Imperial Cavalry of Exorbitance Well, you may have heard of some of my members. Aamir, Morgan Fr- Seven Kingdoms, Guardian, and Rose let out terrified screams Seven Kingdoms *terrfied* MONSTER!!!! Guardian *terrified* A FRASER ALLIANCE!! KILL IT!!! Rose *terrified* What did I do to deserve this? Imperial Cavalry of Exorbitance *pleading* No, please! Give me a chance! I've changed! Rose, Guardian, and Seven Kingdoms run around the yard, screaming. Imperial Cavalry of Exorbitance hangs its head and walks away Guardian *terrfied breathing* A Fraser alliance, we were feet away from a Fraser alliance! How did this happen?! Seven Kingdoms This place is tainted! Did that thing touch anyone? Guardian, Rose, and Seven Kingdoms stand still, struggling to regain their breath and control Guardian Alright, that must never happen again! Seven Kingdoms *nervously* Listen, I had no idea when I called it over. It just seemed normal! Guardian This must never happen again, here me! Never! Seven Kingdoms Alright, lets just put that behind us, and finish up here. Guardian and Seven Kingdoms sit down. The final alliance steps up, and Guardian starts in surprise. Guardian No, no, no, no, no, no! Not II, not II! Seven Kingdoms *whispers* Listen Guardian, I know II can be odd, but it likes you. You can't buy that loyalty! Ignis Immortales *bubbly* Hey Guardian, how are you doing? Guardian *nervously* Uh, hi II Ignis Immortales I heard you guys needed help, and I really want to! Seven Kingdoms Sure you can! Guardian No you can't! You always follow me around II, its really creepy, and thats saying something, coming from me! Ignis Immotales Love me Guardian!! Seven Kingdoms Of course you can help! *angrily to Guardian* II can help us! Guardian thinks hard for a minute, then speaks Guardian Sure you can help us II. Why don't you go and buy us some missiles? Ignis Immortales *happily* Yay! I won't fail you guys! exit Ignis Immortales Guardian Heheh, that gets II out of the way. Now we can go and roll DEIC, UPN, and BoC. Seven Kingdoms Great! That was the last alliance Guardian, now we don't have any extra help! That was what we were supposed to be doing! Guardian You're panicking SK, we don't need any help! I can take them all myself, without your stupid ideas. Grab TEst, and lets go! Seven Kingdoms hangs its head. Suddenly, an alliance becomes relevant, materializing into existence. Supreme Gentlemen Hey guys! Guardian Who are you? Supreme Gentlemen Come on guys, don't you know me? Guardian and Seven Kingdoms No. Supreme Gentlemen Really, you've never heard of me or what I do? Seven Kingdoms Do you do anything? Supreme Gentlemen ​Augh, why does nobody know what I do? Guardian Maybe because you're not important? Supreme Gentlemen You know what, screw you guys. I'll find someone who cares. Supreme Gentlemen becomes irrelevant again, and dematerializes Guardian What was that? Seven Kingdoms I have no idea... Guardian Anyway..... Lets go defeat our opponents! The final showdown! Seven Kingdoms There really isn't a way I can convince you to wait? Guardian Nope. Grab TEst and Rose, and lets go! Seven Kingdoms Oh well, I wrote my will anyway. Lets go. Come on Rose.. Rose Yay, I like this party! exit Rose, Seven Kingdoms and Guardian End of Scene 2

Missiles destroy a percentage of a cities infra. Around 30%, I think.

First off, thanks to all those who left positive comments. These take a while to write, but I enjoy doing them, and I'm glad that others enjoyed them as well. With that said, lets continue... The (Insert Name Here) War, A Play Written by: TheNG Edited by: TheNG Starring: Rose as itself Guardian as itself Seven Kingdoms as itself Terminus Est as itself Brotherhood of the Clouds as itself The Dutch East India Company as itself United Purple Nations as itself Act 1 Scene 2 - The basement of Guardian's house Scene: The basement is messy, covered in dirty clothes, Market Manipulator's Monthly magazines, and piles of unsent hate mail to The Dutch East India Company. Two large posters of a kangaroo and a sneezing cat hang on the walls, next to a dartboard with an image of The Covenant printed on it. Sheepy stands in the corner, covering his ears as a group of people yell at him about planes and ships. Enter Guardian, Rose, Terminus Est, and Seven Kingdoms Guardian *angrily* You guys are worthless! I had them all on the ropes when you losers had to mess everything up! Seven Kingdoms You had it under control? Guardian *continues angrily* Sometimes I don't even know why I let you incompetent fools hang out with me! Seven Kingdoms Because we're the only alliances who can stand you, and you have no other friends? Guardian force chokes Seven Kingdoms Guardian What have I told you telling the truth when it makes me look like the terrible alliance I am? Seven Kingdoms *resignedly, between choking noises* Not to do it... Guardian *Condescendingly* Excellent.... Guardian releases Seven Kingdoms Guardian Alright SK, this was just the first round! We may have suffered slightly due to unforeseen... uh... weather.... but we need to get back at them! Seven Kingdoms I'm pretty sure it was entirely your fault, but whatever. Anyway, do we have to get back at them? We were supposed to be doing something fun, and this is a lot of work. Guardian Well, before my inane rage was merely my way of expressing my deep-seated psychopathic tendencies, and the fear of anything which is better than me. Now they've made it personal! And go wake up Rose, that idiot is still passed out! Terminus Est *weakly* I'm still crippled and bleeding over here..... Guardian Of yeah SK, fix up TEst while you're at it. Seven Kingdoms Why do I have to do everything? Guardian Because I'm the smartest one around here, and I need my brainpower to think of a good plan that you morons can't mess up. Seven Kingdoms, grumbling, bandages Terminus Est's shattered kneecap. Rose suddenly wakes up Rose Did I do the good thing? Did I beat up the mean alliances? Guardian I hate you Rose. Seven Kingdoms pulls Guardian aside, while Rose begins to play with a doll and a dead squirrel. Terminus Est awkwardly crawls onto Guardian's bed and begins picking its remaining teeth with a butter knife. Seven Kingdoms *whisper* Listen, if we really want to hurt BoC, DEIC, and UPN, we might need some help. I mean, all TEst can do now is provide weird "moral" support, and I don't know if Rose is really all here sometimes. Rose lights the squirrel carcass on fire and begins to run around the basement, singing about sandwich ponies and reforming neutrals. Guardian *whisper* Nonsense, Rose is a perfectly normal alliance, everything it does is very rational and reasonable. Rose runs into a pole, and collapses backwards like a sac of dumb bricks Guardian *whisper* And TEst has the highest tolerance for pain and intelligent comments I've ever seen, it'll be perfectly fine in a coup- Wait, what is TEst doing? Terminus Est has begun to foam at the mouth and thrash wildly, sightlessly glaring with bloodshot eyes, as it screams like a dying goat Seven Kingdoms *whisper* Oh, TEst must be having another one of its alpha flashbacks, it gets them every so often. Guardian *freaked out whisper* That's kind of creepy. Why did I never know about this? Seven Kingdoms *whisper* Because you are always too busy being a jerk to really care about any of us. Guardian *whisper* Good point. *louder* Alright, I've got a plan, SK, you track down any other alliances who might want to help us. I'll take Rose and go spy on our enemies. Seven Kingdoms Why do we need to spy on them? We know who they are and where they live, heck, you even have UPN on speed dial. Guardian Don't question my true and utter genius SK, you just get us some backup, and calm down TEst. *shouts* Rose, come with me! Exit Rose and Guardian Seven Kingdoms pulls out a large stick while TEst flops off the bed and thrashes around on the floor, wailing. Seven Kingdoms Alright, TEst, time for your medicine... End of Scene 2 Act 1 Scene 3 - Outside United Purple Nation's Treehouse Scene: The treehouse nestles low in a money tree. The Dutch East India Company, Brotherhood of the Clouds, and United Purple Nations sit within it. Guardian and Rose hide in a bush on the sidewalk 20 ft. away. Sheepy stands in the middle of the street, burning a multi at the stake. United Purple Nations Man, that was really weird. Brotherhood of the Clouds You said it, but honestly though, what do you expect from those rejects? The Dutch East India Company No kidding, have you heard how Rose was dropped on its head when it was born? Rose *excitedly* Hey, thats my name! Guardian *loud whisper* Shut Up! Brotherhood of the Clouds And I heard that Seven Kingdoms has never even read Game of Thrones, just the wiki article! United Purple Nations, The Dutch East India Company, Rose, and Guardian gasp The Dutch East India Company Did you hear something? United Purple Nations Uh, I don't think so. Anyway, do one of you guys have a spare button-down. This one has TEst's kneecap blood all over it. Brotherhood of the Clouds passes United Purple Nations a shirt, which United Purple Nations puts on. Guardian Wow, UPN has really great abs... Rose Are you jealous? Guardian Completely and utterly, but- Wait, did you say something intelligent Rose? Rose I tried to ride an aquarium pebble once, but then my mom hit me on the spleen with a large green toad . Guardian Hm, it must've just been my imagination. Brotherhood of the Clouds Just out of curiosity, when were you going to tell me that those guys don't like us? The Dutch East India Company and United Purple Nations exchange glances. The Dutch East India Company *nervously* Uh, totally..... of course.... We didn't tell you already? United Purple Nations *nervously* Uh, must've slipped our minds. I'm so busy being popular, you know. Are you sure we didn't tell you? Brotherhood of the Clouds Yeah, pretty sure. The Dutch East India Company Anyway, what do you want to do with the afternoon? United Purple Nations We could get temporary tattoos and cruise around town in my convertible. ​The Dutch East India Company and Brotherhood of the Clouds Sounds like a plan! Guardian looks at Rose, who is licking a bud that it picked off the bush. Guardian *sadly* ​I wish I had friends like that... *with increasing confidence in order to convince itself* ​Anyway, this was a highly successful espionage mission. It has only served to reinforce my preexisting notions that these fools are weak and divided. They will fall easily to my great and glorious might. Nothing will sta- Rose inhales the bud, starts choking, and falls out from behind the bush. The Dutch East India Company, United Purple Nations, and Brothehood of the Clouds look down in surprise. ​The Dutch East India Company Is that Rose? Guardian rises out from behind the bush Guardian *loudly and shrilly* I take no responsibility for my own actions or of those who blindly follow me! Guardian takes off running down the street with Rose in tow. United Purple Nations, The Dutch East India Company, and Brotherhood of the Clouds look on in shock Exit Guardian and Rose United Purple Nations Why are paperless alliances such weirdos? The Dutch East India Company *sagely* Probably because they carry the most baggage from other places. The Dutch East India Company, United Purple Nations, and Brotherhood of the Clouds break out laughing End of Act 1 Well, congratulations on finishing another one of these. Act 2 coming soon to a propaganda thread near you...

Well, Kurdanak, nothing brings to mind wanton destruction and shattered dreams quite like VoC. You can't beat that name recognition. But since you think our name is so complicated, lets make this interesting. I challenge you to come up with an alternate acronym or shortening for DEIC, one that is both easy to pronounce and remember. Payment in the form of missiles.

Rather than waste my time with petty images, I shall turn out unbiased high-quality literary masterpieces which tell a compelling story of the war. Prepare to be cultured everybody. The (Insert Name Here) War, A Play Written by: TheNG Edited by: TheNG Starring: Rose as itself Guardian as itself Seven Kingdoms as itself Terminus Est as itself Brotherhood of the Clouds as itself The Dutch East India Company as itself United Purple Nations as itself Act 1 Scene 1 - A small park near a major road. Scene: Children are playing on playground equipment, and Sheepy lounges on a lawn chair being fed grapes. Enter Guardian, Rose, Terminus Est, and Seven Kingdoms Guardian You know, its been a long time since we had some fun There isn't much to do when you're secretly allied to nearly all major alliances Rose We could, uh, play on the slide? Guardian Ugh, Rose, that is the stupidest thing you've said all day. What are we, two years old? Rose wails and begins to smash its head against a tree Guardian Oh fer- ROSE! STOP IT! I'm sorry I said you're stupid! Listen, we'll play on the slide with you, OK? Rose backs away from the tree and grins lopsidedly Seven Kingdoms You know, Guardian, you can call Rose childish, but we are all kind of young, I just turned one year old actually. Guardian ​Shut up SK. You know that I can't stand to be proven wrong... Seven Kingdoms But all I said was- Guardian grabs Seven Kingdoms by the throat and pins it against a tree. Terminus Est and Rose look on Guardian *low, deadly whisper* I said SHUT UP! Do you want to be shitposted!? Do you want to end up like SI? Seven Kingdoms *In between choking noises* No... I don't... want to.. be.. Guardian lets go of Seven Kingdoms and straightens its fedora Guardian Well, choking SK gave me a great idea, lets go beat up and bully those innocent children. Rose But what about the slide? Guardian gives Rose an evil look, under which Rose quails. Terminus Est grins and pulls out a large, worn club Terminus Est I like senseless, reasonless violence! Little kids can't be all that different from seals, right? Guardian I like your thinking, TEst! Enter Brotherhood of the Clouds, United Purple Nations, and The Dutch East India Company, chatting amiably but inaudibly Guardian grins evily Guardian Actually, I have an even better idea. I've just remembered that UPN had way more friends than me back in third grade. While UPN was cool and popular, I was a lurker, a nobody. Lets go beat them up instead! Seven Kingdoms So this is how you express your deep childhood trauma. Terminus Est If there is one thing I learned while in prison, its that with other alliances, you have to provoke them first to make us look like the good guys. Guardian But aren't we always the good guys? Uh, anyway, I guess we can do it TEst's way. Seven Kingdoms I can pretend to be their friend to lull them off guard! Guardian Good plan SK! Alright everybody, pop your collars and lets go crush these losers! Guardian and Seven Kingdoms advance confidently toward United Purple Nations, Brotherhood of the Clouds, and The Dutch East India Company. Terminus Est lags behind them, pulling along a confused looking Rose Seven Kingdoms Hey guys, hows it going? United Purple Nations, The Dutch East India Company, and Brotherhood of the Clouds look over United Purple Nations Uh, hello? Seven Kingdoms Hey bros, have you seen this new guy, New Shr- Guardian *interjects* You're stupid DEIC!!! HAHAHAHAA And you, Brotherhood, where'd you get those clothes? The lame shoe store? Brotherhood of the Clouds Uh... United Purple Nations You want something, Guardian? Seven Kingdoms and Terminus Est pull Guardian aside Terminus Est *whispers* This isn't how you do it Guardian, you're supposed to be subtle. Seven Kingdoms *whispers* Since when are any of you guys subtle? Let me handle this. Guardian *shouts* Screw subtlety, I'm gonna murder 'em! ​United Purple Nations, Brotherhood of the Clouds, and The Dutch East India Company look at Guardian in surprise Terminus Est Haha! Feel the wrath of my- Terminus Est pulls a gun out of its pocket and tries to shoot United Purple Nations, but sends the bullet into its own left kneecap instead. Rose passes out from fear and collapses to the ground Guardian Oh come on! Beat them up you idiots! The Dutch East India Company, Brotherhood of the Clouds, and United Purple Nations stare in confused shock as Guardian grabs an unconscious Rose, fear shining in its eyes. Seven Kingdoms *Wimper* We should probably go... Guardian Seven Kingdoms, grab TEst! Guardian retreats, carrying Rose. Seven Kingdoms follows quickly, dragging TEst, who is bleeding badly from its left knee and shouting expletives. Guardian This isn't over! I'll be back! Exit Guardian, Seven Kingdoms, Terminus Est, and Rose United Purple Nations and The Dutch East India Company What was that? Brotherhood of the Clouds I have no idea.... End of Scene 1 Well, if you have finished, I congratulate you. Act 1 Scene 2 coming soon!

No no no, you've got it all wrong! The top 30 alliances aren't going to war, this whole thing is the first Annual P&W Wrestling Tournament. INTL Anarchist Communist Front is going head to head in a steel cage smackdown with New Shrek Order. The winner gets to take on the defending champion: GPA Tickets are $100,000 per nation, no refunds.

Inb4 SK joins The Covenant

Just because an alliance is socialist doesn't mean that they automatically must be neutrals, I can't seem to figure where you came up with that idea. I find it kind of amusing that a neutral who doesn't even understand war that well is accusing all of us of being warmongering menaces. If we were, you would've been rolled already.

You could really scratch Ivan off the list, since he has no infra left in his cities, and hasn't even logged on for almost a month. He ceased to be a threat a while ago.

Good luck out there!

Good luck with that, telling other people what to do is their thing. If you take that away from them, then they'll have nothing left. Also, what made you think asking nicely was going to make them go away?

Not necessarily, ground forces are still needed to win wars, and blockades will still be useful. Think about it, would you rather just throw missiles back and forth for 5 days, or use your ground forces to end a war early and avoid excess damage? I think many people would prefer the latter, and it will be a long time before a majority or even a sizable number of nations have missiles, so I wouldn't sell your tanks and soldiers yet.