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J Kell

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Posts posted by J Kell

  1.  

    J Kell crawled out from the depths of the earth, his clothes ragged and his face weathered by the elements. He had been gone for years, and Orbis had changed in his absence. But J Kell remained the same, a man haunted by his own thoughts.

    As he walked through the city streets, he saw the hustle and bustle of humanity all around him. People rushing to and fro, consumed by their own petty concerns. J Kell felt a sense of sadness and frustration at the shallowness of it all.

     

     

    All these references may be outdated, but I wrote this in November and never had time to finish it... It's edited poorly and probably shouldn't be released. Whatever...

     

     

     

    LYRICS! probably should read these

    That's why they call me J Kell
    (I'm back) I'm back, (I'm back) I'm back
    That's why they call me J Kell
    (I'm back) I'm back, (I'm back) I'm back
    That's why they call me J Kell
    (I'm back) I'm back, I'm back
    That's why they call me J Kell
    (I'm back) I'm back, (I'm back) I'm back
    I murder a sphere, so better stay clear
    You never, heard my jeers has it been 2 years?
    You better, leave that AA, it ain't gonna help
    What good's it gonna do against a nation that raids itself?
    I'm waiting' for paper like, "Hell, man, I'm sitting in a shell"
    Epi, you're safe in that cell, be thankful it's jail
    I used to be Rozi's little member in 15
    18 I was raiding AAs and being obscene 
    I used to, lurk in the forums and just upvote
    Till Alex came and showed that politics is just a joke
    I used to play all day, now I have to earn my pay
    How do I do real life? survive
    Try to thrive, end up deprived, sit and cry
    At least I have a real wife, I guess
    I must just grew up quick (no)
    Blew up quick (no), was raised right
    whatever I say is right, whatever you say is wrong
    You think of my name now whenever you say, Ron
    Don't know my destiny because I hate T-R-E
    A-T-Y 'cause my first AA said goodbye
    Can't wait 'til James see mine
    Now, coming back, was it worth it? No, but now I'm a poet 
    Read my posts, sit, what? Think I'm not legit?
    You hear this gif? Oh its upside down
    Here, let me turn this SOB up right now
    That's why they call me J Kell
    (I'm back) I'm back, (I'm back) I'm back
    That's why they call me J Kell
    (I'm back) I'm back, (I'm back) I'm back
    That's why they call me J Kell
    (I'm back) I'm back, (I'm back) I'm back
    That's why they call me J Kell
    (Shady, I'm) I'm back, (I'm back) I'm back
    I take each brand new nation's Discord handle and message them
    Just to see if he hate spheres loves me and wants to cause some mayhem
    And if he responds to me, he'll let me on his nation's helm
    And becomes a puppet in my new paperless realm
    My name is J Kell
    I've hated paper way before my first farewell
    The sensational, "Back is the incredible!"
    With Shifty Elf, who just finds the leaks plentiful 
    It's Shifty Elf on the, OWF
    Tryin' to, DOX your friends and give Alex stress
    Its a sick Orbis we play in these days
    J Kell, For Pete's sakes give back Ronny's ICSs!
    Geez, you guys are so sensitive
    J Kell you might get banned, why don't you just join Test
    Posts with no sense in it, trying to get most Liked posts
    Raise everyone's hopes
    Hitting every roast and include the most jokes
    everyone sending notes, wanting to get close
    I tell them all to go, join Rose
    They get high and overdose
    And that's where I get my name from
    That's why they call me
    They call me J Kell
    (I'm back) I'm back, (I'm back) I'm back
    That's why they call me J Kell
    (I'm back) I'm back, (I'm back) I'm back
    That's why they call me J Kell
    (I'm back) I'm back, (I'm back) I'm back
    That's why they call me J Kell
    (I'm back) I'm back, (I'm back) I'm back
    I take the user list of the RON Discord server
    Buy a comic, its a real page turner
    And give the code to anyone who hits a member
    And that's the whole Balkans lobby raided all in one turn
    Cause I'm J Kell, They tell me to go to hell
    It'd be funny if they fell and hurt themselves
    And by the way Perpetuals, who do they play?
    Am I the only one who realizes they can't raid?
    Should I join an AA and care what y'all think?
    Read ink and sign every paper ya'll drink?
    It's why I tend to block out when I hear things
    'Cause all these bots screamin' is makin' my ears ring
    So I just, throw up a middle finger and let it linger
    Longer than the rumor that I was kicking it with Firewolf
    'Cause if I ever kicked it with any player in Orbis
    It'd be Charlie Travel, and Soup Cat you know this
    I'm sorry Soups, but I don't care if the Johnsons were my own sphere
    I'd still dissolve em and stab the leaders with my spear
    And have Orbis and my peers raid me at the same time
    And just say that that ain't kind, what's my name?
    I'm J Kell
    (I'm) I'm back, (I'm back) I'm back
    That's why they call me J Kell
    (I'm back) I'm back, I'm back
    That's why they call me J Kell
    (I'm back) I'm back, (I'm back) I'm back
    They call me J Kell
    (I'm back) I'm back, (I'm back) I'm back
    • Like 1
    • Upvote 4
  2. On 2/10/2020 at 12:27 AM, Mad Max said:

    Someone get JKell in here to rap that please.

     

     

     

    Lyrics:

    On 2/9/2020 at 6:41 PM, Ripper said:

    pillage, plunder, rifle, and loot
    kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot
    extort, pilfer, filch, and sack
    maraud and embezzle, and even high-jack
    kindle and char, inflame and ignite
    burn up the city, are really a fright
    are rascals, scoundrels, villains, and knaves
    are devils and black sheep, really bad eggs
    are beggars and blighters, ne'er-do-well cads
    but are all loved by their mommies and dads

    Why did I do this....  I don't know... I like having fun

    • Like 3
  3. This seems like a good starting point, I'm sure I'm missing something here that would need to be changed. From what I am reading, though, this seems to be at least a partial solution to making individual war outcomes more uncertain with some back and forth. Would Naval blockade still be after one IT? As there is no way to partially block trading....  

     

    Unless, one IT with a naval attack stops the ability of the losing country to trade with nations, but not their ability to receive id directly from their alliance. The second IT would fully blockade them.  What about that? 

  4. 14 hours ago, Malinok said:

    The idea is to encourage them to join an alliance. 

    The idea is to encourage them to engage and feel involved. We do not want them to join an alliance that gives them strict instructions on how to play the game, kicking or defunding them for non-compliance, while at the same time not informing them of the Discord/community discussions and memes/jokes that make up the bulk of the game. That's why most new players quit, they realize (or worse, they never are told) that unless they are engaged in the Discord channels, OWF, or they are in on all the memes/jokes there is nothing more to this game than sitting there like Stanley pushing the buttons his alliance leader tells him to push.

    • Upvote 2
  5. 35 minutes ago, Darth Ataxia said:

    you’d be dumb not to just target power right away and cripple your opponent much more quickly.

    This is what makes me split on whether this is a good idea or not, everyone would do this towards the beginning of wars in order to better themselves which would then make RNG for wars even more of a weighted factor than it already is. If your missiles miss and they hit your power plants, welp, enjoy sweet death. IDK, interesting idea that really gets the blood pumping on a Monday afternoon.

    • Upvote 2
  6. On 9/10/2022 at 12:47 PM, darkblade said:

    Everyone now realizes that Eclipse doesn't care about minispheres unless they are on top

    Truth is, no one cares about mini spheres or "balancing" unless they are the ones with the power to broker it

    • Upvote 2
  7. 1 hour ago, Sweeeeet Ronny D said:

    Of course you do, you are a 5 city nation in a 2 man alliance.  You are so far below the point of being involved in anything of matter, you might as well be an ant in a city of giants.

    Some day Ronny, some day I'll be big enough to give you the bop on the nose you deserve. Nice to know you checked out my nation page and see that I role with OG @Pika right now. 

    • Haha 1
    • Upvote 1
  8. 45 minutes ago, Cooper_ said:

    So bottom line is that current FA folks need to think about their priorities.  Is it solely a strategic game now of friends and enemies where you're just trying to maximize the time you're on top?  Or do you have a vision for the future of the game and are willing to put yourself on the line to achieve it?

    I laugh at the idea that someone in FA has a vision or dreams...

  9. LOL

    Once I rose above both Rose and Celestial
    Just to get a glimpse beyond their bestial
    I was smoking ever higher
    But I got too high
    Though my nation could see, I still was a blin man
    Though my alliance thought, I still was a mad man
    I hear the oldies when I'm playing
    I can hear them say
    Carry on, my wayward Kev
    There'll be peace when Alex gets devs
    Lay your weary head to rest
    Let Rose cry lots more

  10. There is politics! The politics is, however, not taken from the perspective of someone playing a character in the game of Orbis. People don't expect a RP element, they expect your words to reflect your character outside the game. People see things that Epi did and said, in real life he must be a scum bag. People joke about Rose being too touchy and taking everything to heart, but almost everyone reading this post does it. When someone, playing the game, does something political in ORBIS that slights you, you don't think "well played" or "wow, more fun drama." No, people here think "wow, he must be an awful person." "he probably lies to his family the way he lied to people in this game." "This person is a real dirtbag and should be called out everywhere for his actions." AND when people did RP and spent time writing out things that were DESCRIPTIVE and INTERESTING, people picked them apart, finding anything they didn't like. Then, instead of engaging with the RP, they call the poster names and act as if he/she should be chastised until they quit Orbis or never post a RP again.  

     

    My advice for people who want Orbis to be IRL drama free? RP, see the separation between the person's profile pic and the actual human behind the screen. Have fun if someone insults you. Laugh at the joke, because (it should be) aimed at your profile pic, not you as a human being.

    • Thanks 1
    • Upvote 2
  11. Why does every discussion about banks, offshoring, or bots always get to a point where people start arguing that micros are the problematic and just mess up the game for the rest of the community? If they just disbanded and joined big spheres, the game would be more interesting, better wars, less scams, more memes, better player retention, and overall a blast. I hear this all the time, but micros drive people to engage more with the game when they first join. People don't want to get lost in a sea of a 100 nation alliance. That sucks, makes people realize that the bulk of this game is Discord channels and memes and if you aren't in on the jokes and discussions, you literally just do exactly what you are told and nothing more cause organization control is key for this game. Micros and tools to help micros help drive player engagement.

    • Like 1
    • Upvote 4
  12. Happy birthday to one of the oldies!

    Screenshot_20220906-211113_Chrome.jpg?width=490&height=1007

    The only reason I play today is because of Rozalia. He kept me going and stopped me from quitting the games several times. I miss him. Here's what I said when he left over 4 years ago
    Screenshot_20220906-100724_Chrome.jpg?width=976&height=1009

    7 years is amazing! Most people thought Wei would disband within the year Rozalia left, but @The Royalist and @James XVI turned that alliance into a powerhouse. It still stands to this day. To celebrate 7 years, I got a whole bunch of old ads and memes from the good old times!

    gS8oOLB.gif

    xSLnuIB.jpg

    ORmplB9.png

    0DWH0wQ.png

    FL5Ox7K.gif

    U41topb.png

    z8hXQB3.png

     

    If you have more, I would love to see it. Most are gone as Rozalia purged his Imgur account.

     

    Much love Wei!

     

    • Like 4
    • Upvote 2
  13. In the not so distant future on a glitchy text based game
    The fat and lonely lazy players who in the server played
    Said that global wars really suck, and Orbis is really lame
    Let's just leave the bots playing so no-one knows our shame

    So then one day in his basement when Borg was super stoned
    He thought that it would be awesome if the banks all got owned
    When the alliances saw their banks were gone, they knew just what they would do
    If you steal all of our banks then we will nuke you till you're blue

    Its World War FU, Orbis is about to end
    Only bots will be playing so no one can actually win
    Its World War FU, I think we can conclude
    We really had it coming so I guess we all get screwed
     

    • Like 1
    • Haha 1
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