Jamie

Alright my humble fans I bet you're all wondering why no new story? By my fans I just mean pigoopi. Anyway my main editor spontaneously combusted and I haven't had any ideas recently but I still owe you a story so here. Now there's a lot of false propaganda rn about red pandas floating around. Most people just see us as cute. We are actually the most intellectual animal in the world. That's why I'm smarter than anyone in my alliance and orbis just ask anyone in it except the ones that say no. Now time for the story. Yes even tho I am amazing in every way I can still get mistaken as a simple animal. I was once a pet for Jesus Christ. I was in the barn waiting for those wise men.( aren't that wise if they can't follow a bloody map) Anyway I was waiting for them to have a business meeting and exchange some shekels. Now a huge misconception is that the hotel only had the barn left but that isn't true. See what really happened was that the hotel had recently got new carpets and Mary's water had just broke. Obviously he wanted to keep the new carpets clean so he sent them to the barn where I was waiting. They found me and thought I was a stupid barn animal. Now the wise men found this extremely funny and instead of giving me the gold, frankincense and myrrh. They gave it to Jesus, yeah it was a big prank and yes I still hold a grudge. As soon as Jesus was born Jesus grabbed be like some teddy bear or toy. Now you might be saying "WhY dIdN't YoU jUsT eScApE" it's Jesus he has a good grip and the power of God. After a while I started liking Jesus, not like that😳😳😳. But as a friend since well some of the things he did were pretty amazing. I mean you've heard of how he turned water into wine that one wedding but let's just say him not being 18 didn't stop him from getting alcohol. Now I can't say if he went to rehab or not but he did. A lot of people know what happened at the last supper and how he was put on a cross so let me just expand on that. I was actually there but the painter had a vendetta against red pandas since one ran away with his wife so I never made it on there. We actually had McDonald's cause Jesus did like big Macs. Now a lot of people don't like Judas because of how he betrayed Jesus but he did something way worse. When he was done with his meal he took some of my fries without asking. THE NERVE OF THIS MAN, HE DIDN'T EVEN ASK. Now in my eyes that is a literal war crime. Now the last thing about Jesus I'd like to clarify is he was thiccc with three C's. So when they put him on the cross everyone wanted a piece of that action. So me and some friends took action. We took him down because we didn't want anyone to do something while he was up there suffering. Pretty sure he got tired of watching rush hour all the time( was the only movie at the time) because when I came back to the cave where we brought him he was gone. Anyway I'd give Jesus about an 8/10. Now this last bit is serious, this story is dedicated to pigoopi, imma miss you man, have fun but not too much fun. Gonna be the only animal in E404 now, rip me

This isn't really a farewell or goodbye but I'm gonna be taking a break from p and w. Recently my mental health has deteriorated because of a lot of factors. My life has become so monotonous over the last couple of months, logging in every day to a game that I don't really care about anymore hasn't been helping. I've tried various things to help make me feel better including "self medicating" but nothing has helped. I'm taking a break from life, I'm gonna try new things and in about a week I'm gonna decide on if I'm gonna keep playing or not. I'm gonna stop chatting in p and w servers for a while as well. I'm sorry to the people in my alliance and some of my friends for acting weirdly over the past while. I just didn't want to admit there was something wrong with me but that just made things even worse. I'm sorry guys I really was acting strange and negative. I'll hopefully be back soon and you guys will have the old Jamie/Alexsa back. Goodbye for now.

Just wait for them to build up a lil then raid the hell out of them

Hopefully this means more players

@Firwof KromwellKromwell smh how could I have been so stupid

Now we all know about the crusades and how they attempted to conquer the holy land, right? WRONG, you filthy casual. As any enlightened historian such as myself would know, Tayintus Kayum once told Pope Urban II a joke about muslims being the source of all evil AND that they once said he had a funny hat. The Pope didn’t like that joke and banished Tayintus Kayum. He went to the holy land to seek forgiveness from God.(something you may not know is that the holy land used to be lebanon, but we’ll get back to that later) While he was in Lebanon, he made friends with some muslims who turned out to be Generals. Once they heard his story they felt outraged about how the Pope couldn’t take a simple joke, so they started to invade Christian land. (they were trolling) Since the Pope couldn’t take a joke this deeply angered him, he couldn’t go on any christian discord server or forum without getting ridiculed. So what would any rational person who’s getting made fun of do? Yes that’s right he raised an army to take back the holy land, or in other words, launch the first Crusade. Tayintus Kayum was deeply saddened by all the chaos and destruction he caused so he took a long walk, so long that when he stopped walking he was in modern day America. He did a lot of well planned out things that many simple-minded humans would view as some dumb American trying to make rap songs. Oh no dear reader that is wrong. He changed his name to Tay K, started making music and breaking the law to get attention. He is a mastermind afterall. He made a very good song that of course became very popular, he made that song while evading the police so he knew people would start the #freeTayK hashtag so that it would bring attention to the free Lebanon hashtag. I’m happy to say this worked as I myself recognise Lebanon as a free state and i’m best friends with the UN. You may be asking, Jamie how do you know all this? I was there with the sunglasses dude. Don’t believe me? Look at this old tapestry I found. PS extra points if you find sunglasses man.

Bruh thanks for reminding me, gonna go eat a taco now

Hello there, recently I have been diagnosed with depression by my local drug dealer.(very nice guy) You may be wondering, Jamie what does this have to do with anything and I will get to that. First some context is needed During WW2 I was a Nazi scientist we worked on lots of projects for the Italian division cause they sucked. While doing research I found what was called project x. I thought the same thing why would someone call a project something you use to end a letter to your aunt. XOXO. The contents of this project were top secret, I personally knew Heil Hitler and even he wouldn't let me look at it.(contrary to popular belief he's first name isn't Adolf, also why you hear people say heil Hitler) This was very strange as he even let me look at his Winston Churchill fan fic before. This had to be big. I knew that if he was in power he wouldn't let me look at the project. So what did I do? I let the allies win the war. I mean one of the sides used spaghetti to fight it wasn't very hard to make happen. After the war I was seen as a war hero since I was the guy who invented the nuke( in reality I was trying to make a song that would blow up when released) Even after the war the files were classified. So I did the only thing a rational person would do, I started making a biochemical weapon. I had experience since I did make the black death. ( I got really mad at my neighbor for looking at my goat seductively) I worked on it for decades and that brings us up to modern day. I released the bio weapon and waited for the world to be under lockdown. Then I snuck into the Pentagon since everyone was off sick and read project x. Ever since then I've become insane and depressed looking for an answer. Project x was about cooking the right amount of spaghetti. They thought if they released it to the public in the allied countries people would just surrender to the might of the axis. It drove many into insanity and I think my time has finally come. I've tried finding the answer but it's impossible to. So if you come across something labelled "project x" for your safety don't open it.

Kinda late to introduce myself but basically been playing for nearly a year and decided to finally get more involved so yeah, go me.