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Yes, we know we are 3 months late to this party. Yes, we know half the alliances have already exited the war. That ain’t gonna stop us from joining this war though. On accords of peace terms with Penitus Oculatus and that other Marvel themed alliance, DB is now joining Global War 14 with the memesphere. Now, I expect some questions. What is DB? Who is this guy? Why are we still reading this post? Well, I’m not gonna answer any of them, so yeah. Tl;dr enjoy my 103 words rant on how we were forced coerced into joining the global war. DB loves splatoon

When: 11PM Eastern Time Where: Factory Fresh Media Who: Literally everyone, but especially Roquentin and DoNotFearJazz What: Great Job! Why: Because you don't wanna suck!

You thought this war was about reforming TCW's military reputation, but it was actually about DB's reputation this entire time.

Greetings scientists all across Orbis! A few hours ago, I read a really interesting scientific paper titled "On the Volatility of Alliances Membership and Stellar Dynamics" written by the University of Afrika Korps IQ. After reading this paper, I realised that problems like members retention or fluctuations in the number of members of an alliance don't follow a complex multi-variable formula as someone would expect (one similar to thermodynamics or the dynamics of closed stellar clusters downgrading to open ones), but instead follow a linear formula. After this great discovery, I decided to use the same approach provided in the paper, but instead of "members retention", I adopted and adapted those complex mathematics to "alliances retention", as this approach can be used for higher levels of abstaction. The results are shown below, in Table 1. Table 1: Status of IQ and IQ-periphery alliances during Global War 14 as of the 7th of September 2019. From this table, it becomes evident that, since the war has lasted for 3 months and IQ/IQ-periphery has lost half of the participating alliances from their side, in another 3 months the whole of IQ/IQ periphery will have surrendered. So, for Chaos Bloc and KETOG, the good news is that IQ/IQ-periphery will surrender in 3 months. The bad news is that, according to the University of Afrika Korps, CoS and Soup will disband by then and will merge in TKR. Still worth it!

After learning from our original post back in early July, The Axis Accord (or what remains of it) accepts defeat and has withdrawn from Global War 14 after speaking with Adrienne and Buorhann. We hereby agree to the following terms: 1. The Axis Accord shall not reenter or aid the war under any circumstances. 2. The Axis Accord will be sending peace to all ongoing wars.

Actual Footage of Ripper and Adrienne congratulating themselves for a job well done. 2019. Colorized.

Yeah this is honestly just really pathetic. The only time you stop war dodging is when there's no actual Fighting really left.

Guess who's back, back again, TEst is back go tell a friend. Blood for the Blood God, Skulls for the Skull Throne, Let Beat the Drums of War! They never understand us, not truly, and understand even less with each passing second. They doubt. They think we have lost our way. We see it in their hearts - the pettiness, the pride, the seeds of ruin driving them on, feeding our tempest. With such creatures must we remake the future! A thousand battles. Ten thousand. Ten times ten times ten thousand, to bring about the new age. All of the certainties of the past torn down, all the beliefs that made them turned to ashes. War on every front, stretched across time until none can know when the final blow will come. There is no disaster, for all disasters serve us alone. The storm rises only so that the thunderbolt may fall. No others would have ever dared this. Perhaps this is why we are chosen. Perhaps that is the only moment of honesty. It does not matter how the galaxy burns, only that it does. Terminus Est - that is what it means, brothers. The strength to do what must be done. The Throne of Skulls. The Silken Cavalcade. The Cauldron of Despair. The Crystal Tower. By these things are we forged anew in the swells of the God-Sea. In fury, in excess, in morbidity, and in transformation: by these measures is our devotion to the Gods made manifest. As the Warp feeds us, so too is the Warp fed by us. As we are consumed, so too shall we consume: we are the apotheosis of the Chosen! Government: Warmaster: Boyce the Great Primarch: Insert Name Here Dark apostles: Dragonk Treaties: Protection-T$.

A PSA for the Proles of The Inquisition: KERTCHOGG is at fault for starting a war they didn't even know they were starting until war plans were leaked from the Totally-Disbanded-Former-IQsphere stating that said Totally-Disbanded-Former-IQsphere alliances had war plans to preemptively hit KERTCHOGG on the grounds of "assertive and aggressive rhetoric" because Big Brother Roq and friends intuition is never wrong. Besides, the Totally-Disbanded-Former-IQsphere has always been at war with KERTCHOGG. Surfs Up was seemingly all a ploy to lower infra in order to hit Totally-Disbanded-Former-IQsphere alliances. Then KERTCHOGG hatched their super secret, tyrannical, green hippo driven plan and preemptively hit the completely innocent Totally-Disbanded-Former-IQsphere member BK in order to get total hegemony over the most powerful alliances in the game. Then Big Brave NPO stepped in like the good white knights they are and won a "total victory" over the collective evil green hippo horde, bad orange man, and bad KT man. If you believe in anything else you're whale defending, pixel-hugging, upper-tier consolidating, green hippo smelling player who hates smiles, puppies, and engaging game dynamics and should submit in a total defeat to the Totally-Disbanded-Former-IQsphere immediately. This is been a message from your friends at the Totally-Disbanded-Former-IQsphere Department of Truth. And Remember Kids: Big Brother is Watching

We are gathered in the wondrous City of Farbanti, the Venice 2.0 which makes Venice The Original look like beta trash, but we are not here today to laugh at how inferior Venice is. Indeeed, we are not gathered to drink and cackle our nights away as Venice sinks into the earth, nor to gawk at the foolish Venetians who have sidewalks to walk on, nor, indeed, to observe the great and many Chads of Farbanti, who do not measure themselves with muscle cars but rather with speedboats, where they do indeed show superiority over the Virgin Nerds by turning hard Port Rudder and splashing them with water. And no, we are not here for the novel experience of seeing who can deliver pizza by submarine faster: Pizza Hut or Dominos. Today we are gathered here, as the black Raven roars above in the sky, to witness the coronation of one George, as the newest noble Princess of Erusea. All sing the praises of the gallant and beautiful Princess George of Erusea! Long may she reign over the increasingly soulless robotic military of Erusea, at least until Oseans discover oil and invade. Again. HAIL TO PRINCESS GEORGE!

Rose had 342,676 score back on June 16. They’ve fallen all the way down to 102,476 score on September 7. Zevfer is inactive, and people already know as soon as the next Rose election happens, Zev is gone. Who knows, maybe he’ll take the other half of the bank, since that seems to be the Rose way of leadership departing. Rose’s second in command, Vack, has been inactive as well, and besides changing colour from grey to pink, which they’ve given up on, has done nothing since they embargoed Jordlandia on 7/21. Grumpy Old Bastards had 219,272 score back on June 16. They’ve fallen all the way down to 61,708.60 score on September 7. Felandia has practically quit the game, Seb has quit the war and is just hiding in vacation mode. Such a valued ally in this war, indeed. Church Of Spaceology, which you’re well familiar with Ripper, has gone from 178,288 score on May 24, all the way down to 32,928.65 score on September 7, and is down to 19 members. The Knights Radiant went from 260,532 score back on June 16 down to 121,016.33 score on September 7 under Adrienne’s wonderful leadership. She must have missed the low score they had by the end of Knightfall, and wanted to revisit the good old days. The Knights Templar went from 202,857 score back on June 15 down to 80,044.70 score on September 7. I don’t really have much to say about them besides that. They’ve done well for themselves in the stats though, have to give them props for that, but the score has been devastated. Guardian has gone from 195,810 score back on June 15 down to 52,801.40 score on September 7. Have to wonder, for the oldest alliance in the game, they haven’t yet learned the recent lesson that fighting on the side of TKR doesn’t end well for you. Maybe they’re getting senile in their old age, along with Grumpy. I’m not even going to mention Animation Domination, they lost for both sides, and I hope they have a better future as part of Sanreizan. Ming Empire…. I honestly don’t know what to say about Ming Empire. They went from 131,823 score down to 25,263.81 score, but that doesn’t even begin to address show horrible they are at war in this game. Props to them for honouring their treaty with Rose though, I do have to give them credit for that, but I have to take away the props for the fact that Rose attacked, and so Ming didn’t have to join and get devastated, but they destroyed their alliance anyway. I suppose, props for sticking with your allies, but no props for how stupid your decision was? I don’t know to be honest. I’ll leave Yarr alone, save for thanking them for the stats they helped provide my nation, I appreciate that. Seven Kingdoms went from 158,616 score on May 23 all the way to 42,521.62 score on September 7. You all need to just learn to stay away from TKR, it does you more harm than good to be associated with them. Empyrea is hopefully going to disband at the end of this war, so maybe this war has caused some good to come out of it, but Empyrea never should have formed in the first place, so they don’t get discussed any further. The Golden Horde went from 154,947 score on May 25, all the way down to 45,974.09 score on September 7. Buohann, I don’t know what to say to you to be honest. Maybe take your horde and go somewhere else, and leave that mess behind? Probably for the best in terms of TGH’s long term survival? I dunno. Rose is at 0.299 of its former self just barely less than a third of its former self. Grumpy is 0.28 of its former score, just at just over a fourth of its former score. The Church Of Spaceology is at 0.185 of its former former, less than a fifth of their former score. Even by KERCHTOG’s and Chaos’ standards, that’s pretty damn bad. The Knights Radiant are at 0.46 of their former score, less than half of their former score. Guardian is at 0.27 of their former score, a bit over a fourth of their former score. Ming Empire is at 0.19 of their former score. They’ve nearly faired as poorly as CoS, damn. I don’t know if this should be damning towards Ming for being so bad, or damning towards CoS for having been beaten senseless even worse than Ming was. Seven Kingdoms is 0.268 of their former score, again just over a fourth of their former score. The Golden Horde is 0.297 of their former score, just under a third of their former score. So in summary, yes @Ripper, there have been a number of alliances on your side who have surrendered, but just because an alliance doesn’t formally surrender doesn’t mean it isn’t done for. KERCHTOG and Chaos have been beaten into a bloody pulp. You’ll have to forgive me for not being impressed by these corpses haven’t yet officially surrendered.

Congrats on peace. Best of luck, you guys.

Interesting turn? Unless you have some proof that this was the case I would appreciate you not preaching it as "breaking news" . T$ had nothing to do with those peace talks with DB. The only tie this has to t$ is that a few members went over there on their own accord because they wanted a little more action. Even if we were running the show with PO, their peace terms with DB never dictated they needed to rejoin the global so that was a straight up lie on DB's part there. You obviously have not dealt with DB much if you think they would go along with some plan to get attacked prior to entering another war hahaha.

This term is from an agreement enforced by Guardians of the Galaxy, who DB signed a peace agreement with on the 31st of August. Penitus Oculatus made a separate peace agreement 5 days earlier.

Right so, we entered this war as part of some terms, and yes the war is probably almost over, but we really are trying to revamp our approach when it comes to war and stuff. So, just bear with us. This is just one small step for DB, just still a step nonetheless. If you want to be toxic, go ahead, I can't stop you, but know that we're actually trying to do stuff here.

In our defense, we were war dodging and stuff when the war started but we're trying to actually do stuff and break that reputation. I agree, we're really late, but if all DB gets is negative comments, it ain't gonna break the cycle. all praise the woomy

LMFAO did you guys seriously enter in another war before this war for the point of losing your infra so your stats wouldn't be bad? I thought Coalition B didnt care about stats ?

Please delete this fast.

Ask Scarfalot, it's his favorite word besides missile

So GotG forcibly pressed DB into service? That's hilarious.

No, Jimmy, I don't think we are.

Good luck. Guess ill just die

To make sure I embarrassed DB properly, I firstly fought Guardian and Grumpy in t$, then fought Coalition B and many other unrelated alliances in tJest, then fought KERTCHOGG in tJest, and finally fought some pirates for t$ again before joining the main event. I lost just $4m worth of infrastructure against DB. In conclusion, you should always prepare for every war by drinking a litre of essential oils the night before.

no problem, glad to be of assistance inklings are my best friend

I did Coalition wide activity checking too while I'm here. The picture isn't quite as bleak as TGH vs. AK, compared to their coalition averages TGH is very inactive and AK is very active. Overall Coalition B is only 10% more active than Coalition A, and not 35% more like the TGH-AK comparision suggests. And since I omitted VMers from the above data, here's the VM proportions of both coalitions.

@Ripper i compared myself up with a c20 NPO a while ago and found that me at 400 infra with only soldiers and a few ships made more money than they did at 800 with max planes and soldiers, and that was before raiding.

peace denied, prepare to be rolled

I keep coming back to the forums now and then with good faith that it has become a better place....

Are we forgetting that you asked me if you could send ghosts into the war instead of the joke POW term I asked for?

Finally.

Sweet..... looking forward to it. Also Baldo and Kev when are you uploading the old recordings so I can catch up on the stuff I missed? ;,p

This is just unnecessary and hilarious.

All the best, friends!

Something really needs to be done about these awful coalition names.

I thought we had a 50/50 chance at winning, and it was going to be game over if NPO and friends jumped in. To be honest I was surprised it went as well as it did before NPO jumped in.

Who?

Lol if you want to try and sell this as a win to your members, go ahead. When you’re ready to give up you know who to crawl too.

You forgot nations below city 27 aren't people, so our average city count is 27.7

I wanna make this clear before I even begin. I am a member of BK, but I am not a member of BK gov. I do not speak as a member of BK right now, I do not speak for BK, I speak as a player of the game who finds this an idiotic waste of words and I mourn for the cells that died during the time I read this post and types this response, for they died during a waste of time. Why is this even a post? What is the point of this? Not only is this is a ham handed attempt at fear mongering, and even if for some reason BK-Sphere gov IS worried about it, do you actually expect them to come out and admit it? Why would any gov member answer these questions? Also, if we are speaking of people who should be nervous, if you people and your constant whining that BK and NPO are allies and IQ exists, shouldn't everyone else BESIDES BK and the other members of your fictional IQ be more worried, since if IQ exists, members of IQ have no reason to fear one another?

Coalition C (see: Yarr) Hereby surrenders to Coalition B (see: Black Knights, Mythic, Goon Squad, Alpha, Peoples Jest Resistance Force, Hyperion, Elite Democratic Republic, The Socialist League, House Stark, Code of Honor, Hyperborea, The Enterprise, Kazouku, Afrika Korps, Golden Phoenix, The United Armies, Terminal Jest, Brotherhood of the Clouds, The Coal Mines, The United States of America, Horsemen, Animation Domination, IronFront, New Pacific Order, Commerce Union, InfoWars, The Hanseatic League, Order of the Fallen Angels, United Socialist Nations, Acadia, The Common Wealth, Carthago, Guardians of the Galaxy, Camelot, Yakuza, The United Empire of ZahAharon, Church of Atom, The Fighting Pacifists, Solar Knights, Frontier Records, Orange Defense Network, Order of the White Rose, The Syndicate, United Purple Nations, Electric Space, Polaris). Though the 7 members of Yarr are mighty, we yield to the might of the 47 alliances which needed to tame us. The terms of the surrender are as follows: 1) We lost. 2) Clarke has never done anything wrong. Not only has Clarke never done anything wrong, he's never even had a thought cross a synapse which might have even had an inclination of wrong doing. In fact, Clarke is so right, that wrongness is allergic to him. Reality has dictated that there is no existence in which Clarke has ever been wrong, is currently wrong, or will ever be wrong. He's basically Bret the Hitman Heart of being right (rip Roz). Clarke's sister however is a dumpster fire, and that Diablos guy was a complete nutjob. Signed for Yarr: Signed for Coalition B

Shocker

inb4 sean anthony posts DOE about new alliance in Alliance affairs

>opens discord >gets notification >sees sean anthony >sees couped >laughs please dont ever change