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Welcome back everyone! I'm glad to see you guys enjoyed yesterday's entry, so I'm going to try to post the rest of this as quickly as possible to make way for the first entry in this war. And with that, read on.... You say Jump, I say Proxy, A Play Written by: TheNG Edited by: TheNG Starring: Viridian Entente as itself The Syndicate as itself Rose as itself United Purple Nations as itself Guardian as itself Vanguard as itself Mensa HQ as itself Sheepy as himself Act 2 Scene 1 - In front of Viridian Entente's house Scene: Unlike the backyard, the front yard of Viridian Entente's house is rather bare, with only grass and shrubs dotting it. Viridian Entente stands on the sidewalk, looking unhappy. Sheepy is digging a hole to China. enter Rose and Vanguard Rose: excitedly Hey VE! I found you a new best friend! This is Vanguard! Viridian Entente: skeptically I remember you.. You were one of those alliances who were on hand to witness my triumph against GPA, weren't you? Vanguard: I... guess you could put it that way. Anyway, I'm just happy to get the change to hang out with you guys! This is so cool! Viridian Entente: Yeah, yeah. Before we start, let's lay out some ground rules. First off, you may call me Viridian Entente, or Grandmaster Beardfist if you like... ​The three alliances talk for some time, eventually reaching a consensus. Apparently satisfied, Viridian Entente walks back inside its house. Rose walks away down the sidewalk, leaving Vanguard lingering. The alliance smiles to itself, and turns to leave. Suddenly Mensa HQ rise up behind and smashes Vanguard in the head with a club. Vanguard goes down almost immediately, offering no resistance. Mensa HQ smiles and begins to drag Vanguard away. exit Mensa HQ and Vanguard End Scene 1 Act 2 Scene 2 - In front of Rose's house Scene: It is late at night, and all the windows in the house are dark, there is no sign of activity. Sheepy is playing a round of mini-golf. Mensa HQ enters, dragging an unconscious Vanguard behind it. Mensa HQ looks up at the darkened windows, and throws a rock against one. Mensa HQ: loudly shouting ROSE! After a minute, a light turns on and a window opens. Rose sticks its head out, looking tired and confused. Mensa HQ holds up Vanguard and indicates with its hand. Mensa HQ loudly Look! I beat up Vanguard, your friend! Come fight me! Rose: Wait...... what? You're Mensa, that weird alliance, aren't you? Mensa HQ excitedly That's right! And I have a bone to pick with you! And since I beat up Vanguard, under the terms of your friendship, you have to fight me! Now come fight! Rose: Nah. Rose closes its window and turns out its light. Mensa HQ looks furious and confused. Mensa HQ WAIT! You can't just refuse to fight me! I beat up Vanguard, you have to fight me! Rose: muffled, from within the house It's 1 in the morning, come back tomorrow. Mensa HQ infuriated SO WHAT?! You can't do this!! What kind of friend are you? There is no response, and Mensa HQ throws Vanguard to the ground in disgust and begins kicking the alliance. Mensa HQ: Look what I'm doing! I'm beating up Vanguard even more. Come fight me! There is still no response, and after several minutes Mensa HQ gives up kicking Vanguard. Mensa HQ infuriated STOP IGNORING ME! I can't stand it when I'm ignored! Unless I get my attention, I'll do even worse things to Vanguard! Several more minutes pass. Mensa HQ becomes more and more infuriated. Mensa HQ I get it, you must be sacred of me! Come out and fight! You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna keep track of all the time you don't fight me! to itself Alright, let's find a good beat for this... nice. loudly Look at this? I'm marking all the time you're being a bad friend! I guess Vanguard isn't important to you! There is no response, and Mensa HQ spends the rest of the night marking time and pacing back and forth next to the unconscious body of Vanguard. After many hours, the sun rise, and still Rose hasn't appeared. Mensa HQ is becoming increasing agitated, when suddenly Rose appears. The alliance has duct-taped pillows around it's body in a sort of crude armor. The two alliances stand and face each other. Rose: Nice song. Mensa HQ: Thanks- I mean screw you! I guess you finally worked up the courage to face me! And so many hours late, look at poor little Vanguard. I'm gonna destroy you for what you did to me! Rose: What did I do? Were you that alliance I gave the bl- Mensa HQ So you don't know? Typical, trash alliances like yourself never do! You insulted my mother! And now I'm gonna destroy you! Rose: Did I? Eh, she was probably ugly anyway. I don't think you know who you're messing with! I shall make consume you like my other enemies! The two alliances advance toward each other, ready to battle. Suddenly Rose stops, and looks behind Mensa HQ. Rose: United Purple Nations? What are you doing on my lawn? United Purple Nations: ​Oh? Hey Rose. I'm just standing here, nothing suspicious about that. Rose: I mean, why my lawn? Couldn't you stand somewhere else? United Purple Nations: Nah, I'm good here. You guys can get on with the fight, I won't do anything. Rose: You sure? I mean, it's a bit odd th- United Purple Nations No, no. Ignore me. I'm just standing right here, well within my rights, not gonna do anything. You two fight. Mensa HQ Yeah! Fight me! Rose: Well, not until I get my battle buddy! Viridian Entente runs onto the lawn, out of breath. Virdian Entente: Whew..... I'm here.... gimme a minute. straightens up and takes a deep breath You have made a grave mistake Mensa! I crushed your pathetic existence once, I can easily do it again! You shall fall before the world-encompassing glory that is Virid- Mensa HQ Yeah, can we skip the speech and just fight already? Guardian and The Syndicate enter, walking along the other side of the road. Viridian Entente turns pale. Viridian Entente: Syndicate.... Rose: Move on VE. Move on! Forget about tS! Focus on Mensa! Viridian Entente lets out a scream and charges, tackling Guardian. Rose tries to jump on The Syndicate, but instead falls flat on its face. Rose: Ow...... Give me a second. The Syndicate: Sorry Rose. 1st rule of business, never allow your opponents to get back up. The Syndicate begins stomping on Rose. Mensa HQ runs over and tries to pull Viridian Entente off of Guardian, which is being pummeled savagely. United Purple Nations stands laughing. Viridian Entente: insane rage This is what you get for leaving me Syndicate! I'll show you what you're missing! You can't walk away from the Entente! Guardian Ow..... stop.... hitting... me..... I'm not..... Syndicate.....not the.....face.....not....the....face Mensa HQ Looks like I get to crush you instead VE! How's defeat taste! Like Dio? Suddenly Viridian Entente stops beating Guardian. It throws Mensa HQ off and goes stock still, then spontaneously combusts. It runs around screaming before exploding into a thousand pieces which shower the combatants. Mensa HQ, The Syndicate, and Guardian look on in shock. Rose: What's going on? Can I see? The Syndicate removes its shoe from Rose's face Rose: VE?! What happened? I swear it wasn't my fault this time! A massive translucent J rises from the center of what used to be Viridian Entente. Suddenly, a beam of light shines down from the heavens, and Sheepy materializes on the street. Sheepy: Looks like we may have a problem..... End Scene 2 Well, that's the end of this part. Tune in next time for the shocking conclusion!

I love these so much

Hahahaha More please

Keep up the good work, this is amusing!

It's like someone gave him logs of me talking during all these interactions

You forgot the scene where everyone related to VE's house burns down.

That was short...

Well, thanks word limit. Now I have to divide this into three parts. Act 2 Scene 2 - A parking lot behind the Orbis Wal-Mart Scene: The lot is entirely abandoned, with the exception of Sheepy, who is making a furtive sacrifice to the blood god in an empty refrigerator box. Clouds blanket the sky, and a brisk wind sends plastic bags flying around. enter Guardian, Rose, Seven Kingdoms, and Terminus Est Guardian *excitedly* Alright, our mortal foes shall be here soon! We need to prepare an ambush. Rose, hide behind the shopping cart. SK, behind the light pole. I'll be back here, behind all this donation bin. Terminus Est What about me? Guardian Since you are the weakest link, stand right here in the middle and serve as our bait. Look pathetic, though it shouldn't be too hard. Terminus Est Its hard to look weak when I once disemboweled a guy just so I could get his souvenir keychain. It had my name on it, you see. Rose *excitedly* Can I play with the intestines? Seven Kingdoms *exasperatedly* Rose, TEst is making that up. Its never disemboweled anyone. Guardian All of you, shut up! Now TEst, stand there or I'll break your other kneecap! Everyone else, get into position, I think I hear them! Guardian, Rose, and Seven Kingdoms move into their hiding places. Terminus Est hobbles into position in the middle of the lot enter United Purple Nations, The Dutch East India Company, and Brotherhood of the Clouds, discussing the differences between lemonade and limeade. The Dutch East India Company Well I'm telling you, limes are really much be- *with surprise* Well well well, if it isn't our old friend Terminus Est. What are you doing here? Terminus Est I'm here to inflict severe bodily harm, of course. United Purple Yeah, how you gonna do that? By shooting yourself again? How is that leg by the way? Terminus Est I only need one to kick your ass. Brotherhood of the Clouds So where are your loser posse TEst? They run scared, like last time? Guardian Right here! ​Guardian, Rose, and Seven Kingdoms spring out of hiding, surrounding The Dutch East India Company, United Purple Nations, and Brotherhood of the Clouds. Guardian *eagerly* Now whose at a disadvantage? Heheh, you fell right into my clever trap! Brotherhood of the Clouds Clever? You must admit this trap is rather rudimentary. Anyone could really come up with it. Guardian What?! My genius is unparalleled! Do you think idiots like Seven Kingdoms could come up with something of this caliber? Seven Kingdoms Yeah, I could. This was pretty simple. Guardian *angrily* Shut up! The point is, you've fallen into my trap. Prepare to get crushed for all eternity! The Dutch East India Company You know, why do you hate us so much? Guardian A long history of tyranny going back to when we los- suffered an minor and temporary setback this afternoon! Seven Kingdoms *with brutal honesty* We were bored and looking for some fun. Rose wanted to play on the slide. Brotherhood of the Clouds That is pretty sad. Guardian I'll let SK's treason slide because you'll never get to leave and tell anyone! ATTACK! Mysterious Voice Not so fast! A bag of trash splits in half and Empire of Spades steps out Empire of Spades I can't let you do that Guardian. Like I said before, UPN owes me $5. $5 which I intend to collect. Guardian *huaghtily* Yeah? Well, I guess you'll just have to do that after we're done. United Purple Nations EOS, you're alive? Rose said that it ate you! Empire of Spades hangs its head in frustration Empire of Spades And all you guys believed Rose? Since when has Rose done anything that would lead you to believe it could actually eat me? The Dutch East India Company I dunno, it just sounded like something Rose would do. Rose I can eat you if I want. Spades are just like stickers and rocks, very chewy. Empire of Spades That is really messed up. Have you ever gotten Rose checked out? Seven Kingdoms The doctor says its permanent. Empire of Spades Shame. Anyway, if you won't let me at UPN, I'll go through you first! Guardian I knew I was right to not let you join our party! Sick EOS, allies! Rose and Seven Kingdoms run at Empire of Spades, who nimbly dodges away and charges Guardian. Empire of Spades pulls out a knife and is about to stab Guardian when Ignis Immortales appears from nowhere and launches itself at Empire of Spades. Guardian What? Empire of Spades What the- Instead of shredding Guardian, Empire of Spade's blade cuts deep into Ignis Immortales. Ignis Immotales falls to the ground, bleeding, while Guardian bends over it. All the other alliances stand still. Gaurdian *confused and angry* Ignis, why did you do that, you idiot! I had everything under control! Ingnis Immortales *weakly* Because...... I love you.... Guardian...... I...... just...... wanted to.... help.... I'm glad...I saved... you... Guardian Well, I'm not glad you moron! At least you could've taken down EOS before you got stabbed! And where are the missiles I sent you to buy?! Thanks for being completely useless! Ignis Immortales *weakly* You're....not...happy?....But....I....... Ignis Immortale's head rolls back, and its eyes close for the final time Seven Kingdoms *accusatorially to Empire of Spades* You killed Ignis! Empire of Spades Eh, whatever. Its not like Ignis really matters. Guardian Yeah, fair point. A shot rings out, and Empire of Spades collapses to the ground. United Purple Nations lowers its weapon United Purple Nations Sorry EOS, but I need that $5. You should've stayed dead. ​The Dutch East India Company and Brotherhood of the Clouds pull out guns and the three turn to face Guardian, Rose, Terminus Est, and Seven Kingdoms The Dutch East India Company Lets polish off these idiots for real, then get out of here. I say this takes 2 minutes tops. Brotherhood of the Clouds You're on! Brotherhood of the Clouds and The Dutch East India Company fist bump Seven Kingdoms Not today! For too long have we been oppressed by cruel and callous alliances. Now, we end that threat! For Ignis Immortales! Guardian *whispers* Not for Ignis, thats embarrassing... The Dutch East India Company *sarcastically* Nice role-play, how long did it take you to come up with that! Seven Kingdoms Less than it'll take to finish you off! Ahhhhhh! Seven Kingdoms and Rose charge, followed by Guardian. Terminus Est hobbles as fast as it can behind them. Dutch East India Company, United Purple Nations, and Brotherhood of the Clouds charge as well, and the two groups meet in the middle of the parking lot in a frenzy of shots and fisticuffs. Terminus Est I may be slow, but I'm still crazy! Take this. Terminus Est fires two shots. One manages to curve into its uninjured knee, and Terminus Est collapses. The other bullet slams into Seven Kingdoms, who takes another step and then falls to the ground, dead. Guardian Noooooooooo! Seven Kingdoms! Rose barrels into The Dutch East India Company and Brotherhood of the Clouds, sending them both flying. It then begins to pummel UPN. ​Guardian charges The Dutch East India Company and tries to to keep the alliance down with punches and kicks. Guardian That was for Seven Kingdoms! And that was for my obsessive compulsive hatred of you! And that was for my mother! And that was for world peace! And that was- Brothehood of the Clouds calmly walks up behind Guardian and stabs it with Empire of Spade's knife. Fueled by obsessive hatred, Guardian turns around and tears the knife out from its back and swings wildly at Brotherhood of the Clouds. Brotherhood of the Clouds and The Dutch East India Company back away and watch as Guardian staggers around until it collapses. The Dutch East India Company Where's The Almighty when you need him now? Brotherhood of the Clouds Nice line. The Dutch East India Company Thanks, it was really only natural for such an all-around amazing alliance like myself. Lets go finish off Rose. Rose picks up United Purple Nations, and throws the alliance across the lot, but United Purple Nations lands on its feet. Rose begins singing tribal chants. United Purple Nations *creeped out* Man, why did I have to fight Rose? Oh well, lets cut this rose's stem! United Purple Nations picks up its gun and prepares to fire when Rose suddenly breaks and runs away. United Purple Nations What!? ​Rose yells that it must preserve the line of kings and disappears around the corner of the store. The Dutch East India Company and Brotherhood of the Clouds join United Purple Nations United Purple Nations Rose got away. Brotherhood of the Clouds Oh well, we still won conclusively, as was expected. How much time, by the way? The Dutch East India Company 1 minute 43 seconds, looks like I win. Brotherhood of the Clouds Rats! The three alliances turn to Terminus Est, who is laying on the ground, looking terrified. The Dutch East India Company What do you want to do with TEst. United Purple Nations We're merciful, more than these guys would've ever been. Lets leave this one alone. Brotherhood of the Clouds Alright! As the three alliances take one last look at Terminus Est, Brotherhood of the Clouds suddenly gives out a cry and collapses, a katana in its back. The Dutch East India Company and United Purple Nations turn around in shock and horror to see a familiar alliance standing in the lot. Green Protection Agency Hello my fellows. United Purple Nations *shocked* What did you do? Green Protection Agency I was simply securing my rule over this world. I thank you for eliminating so much of the competition, but I'm afraid your usefulness is at its end. Goodbye. United Purple Nations If you think we're going to let some dirty neutral rule this place, you're sadly mistaken! The Dutch East India Company Lets show this hippie how us blocs do things around here! The Dutch East India Company and United Purple Nations hold up their hands and begin to glow. When the glow fades, a single alliance stands in their place. The two alliances have merged. United Company of East Indies Nations Didn't expect that, did you! This one is for Brotherhood! United Company of East Indies Nations takes a thundering step forward and tries to crush Green Protection Agency. However Green Protection Agency simply dodges the massive alliance and flicks its hand, sending United Company of East Indies Nations flying into a wall, where it dissolves into its two constituent alliances, who do not move. Green Protection Agency Well that was.. unimpressive. All these warlike alliances are fools anyway. Killing and maiming themselves while I take over behind the scenes. If only they knew their pathetic little plots and petty rivalries were utterly meaningless. If they had united, they might have stood a chance. Green Protection Agency stares around at the devastation, its eyes alighting on Terminus Est Terminus Est *nervously* We're cool, right? Green Protection Agency Sorry, no blood-drinking cultists my new world. Insane relics like yourself deserve only to cease existing. Green Protection Agency flicks its hand again, and Terminus Est spontaneously combusts, melting into a pool of bile and ill-thought out forum posts Green Protection Agency Well, I suppose that it is time to begin ruling my new domain. It has been a blast everyone... Green Protection Agency turns and begins to walk out of the parking lot, away from the fallen alliances, giving no further thought to the foes which it had vanquished, and only to the future. Suddenly, an alliance becomes relevant and materializes next to Green Protection Agency. The Supreme Gentlemen Heeeey GPA, loved the final speech. Very classy. I always knew that you would win, I'm pretty good at picking winners. Say, you need any help running this place? I could be very helpful! ​Green Protection Agency I'm sorry, who are you? The Supreme Gentlemen *frustrated* FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- End

Hello everybody! As I'm sure you all know who I am, at least a little bit, so I'll skip the introductions. I'd like for this blog to be a place where you guys can occasionally see my thoughts, perhaps a different perspective from the standard. (Or perhaps not....) In addition, I'd like to feature some content that it is hard to have on the main forums, with that in mind, (and at the request of several) I'm going to be posting my plays in their full here, so they're easier to read without scrolling through pages of forums. For those who know Pre is too biased, here is my 100% factual history of the Marionette War, from the view of all your favorite alliances! (I unfortunately had to split it into three parts, but at least you don't have to dig through !@#$posts) The (Insert Name Here) War, A Play Written by: TheNG Edited by: TheNG Starring: Rose as itself Guardian as itself Seven Kingdoms as itself Terminus Est as itself Brotherhood of the Clouds as itself The Dutch East India Company as itself United Purple Nations as itself Act 1 Scene 1 - A small park near a major road. Scene: Children are playing on playground equipment, and Sheepy lounges on a lawn chair being fed grapes. Enter Guardian, Rose, Terminus Est, and Seven Kingdoms Guardian You know, its been a long time since we had some fun There isn't much to do when you're secretly allied to nearly all major alliances Rose We could, uh, play on the slide? Guardian Ugh, Rose, that is the stupidest thing you've said all day. What are we, two years old? Rose wails and begins to smash its head against a tree Guardian Oh fer- ROSE! STOP IT! I'm sorry I said you're stupid! Listen, we'll play on the slide with you, OK? Rose backs away from the tree and grins lopsidedly Seven Kingdoms You know, Guardian, you can call Rose childish, but we are all kind of young, I just turned one year old actually. Guardian ​Shut up SK. You know that I can't stand to be proven wrong... Seven Kingdoms But all I said was- Guardian grabs Seven Kingdoms by the throat and pins it against a tree. Terminus Est and Rose look on Guardian *low, deadly whisper* I said SHUT UP! Do you want to be shitposted!? Do you want to end up like SI? Seven Kingdoms *In between choking noises* No... I don't... want to.. be.. Guardian lets go of Seven Kingdoms and straightens its fedora Guardian Well, choking SK gave me a great idea, lets go beat up and bully those innocent children. Rose But what about the slide? Guardian gives Rose an evil look, under which Rose quails. Terminus Est grins and pulls out a large, worn club Terminus Est I like senseless, reasonless violence! Little kids can't be all that different from seals, right? Guardian I like your thinking, TEst! Enter Brotherhood of the Clouds, United Purple Nations, and The Dutch East India Company, chatting amiably but inaudibly Guardian grins evily Guardian Actually, I have an even better idea. I've just remembered that UPN had way more friends than me back in third grade. While UPN was cool and popular, I was a lurker, a nobody. Lets go beat them up instead! Seven Kingdoms So this is how you express your deep childhood trauma. Terminus Est If there is one thing I learned while in prison, its that with other alliances, you have to provoke them first to make us look like the good guys. Guardian But aren't we always the good guys? Uh, anyway, I guess we can do it TEst's way. Seven Kingdoms I can pretend to be their friend to lull them off guard! Guardian Good plan SK! Alright everybody, pop your collars and lets go crush these losers! Guardian and Seven Kingdoms advance confidently toward United Purple Nations, Brotherhood of the Clouds, and The Dutch East India Company. Terminus Est lags behind them, pulling along a confused looking Rose Seven Kingdoms Hey guys, hows it going? United Purple Nations, The Dutch East India Company, and Brotherhood of the Clouds look over United Purple Nations Uh, hello? Seven Kingdoms Hey bros, have you seen this new guy, New Shr- Guardian *interjects* You're stupid DEIC!!! HAHAHAHAA And you, Brotherhood, where'd you get those clothes? The lame shoe store? Brotherhood of the Clouds Uh... United Purple Nations You want something, Guardian? Seven Kingdoms and Terminus Est pull Guardian aside Terminus Est *whispers* This isn't how you do it Guardian, you're supposed to be subtle. Seven Kingdoms *whispers* Since when are any of you guys subtle? Let me handle this. Guardian *shouts* Screw subtlety, I'm gonna murder 'em! ​United Purple Nations, Brotherhood of the Clouds, and The Dutch East India Company look at Guardian in surprise Terminus Est Haha! Feel the wrath of my- Terminus Est pulls a gun out of its pocket and tries to shoot United Purple Nations, but sends the bullet into its own left kneecap instead. Rose passes out from fear and collapses to the ground Guardian Oh come on! Beat them up you idiots! The Dutch East India Company, Brotherhood of the Clouds, and United Purple Nations stare in confused shock as Guardian grabs an unconscious Rose, fear shining in its eyes. Seven Kingdoms *Wimper* We should probably go... Guardian Seven Kingdoms, grab TEst! Guardian retreats, carrying Rose. Seven Kingdoms follows quickly, dragging TEst, who is bleeding badly from its left knee and shouting expletives. Guardian This isn't over! I'll be back! Exit Guardian, Seven Kingdoms, Terminus Est, and Rose United Purple Nations and The Dutch East India Company What was that? Brotherhood of the Clouds I have no idea.... End of Scene 1 Act 1 Scene 2 - The basement of Guardian's house Scene: The basement is messy, covered in dirty clothes, Market Manipulator's Monthly magazines, and piles of unsent hate mail to The Dutch East India Company. Two large posters of a kangaroo and a sneezing cat hang on the walls, next to a dartboard with an image of The Covenant printed on it. Sheepy stands in the corner, covering his ears as a group of people yell at him about planes and ships. Enter Guardian, Rose, Terminus Est, and Seven Kingdoms Guardian *angrily* You guys are worthless! I had them all on the ropes when you losers had to mess everything up! Seven Kingdoms You had it under control? Guardian *continues angrily* Sometimes I don't even know why I let you incompetent fools hang out with me! Seven Kingdoms Because we're the only alliances who can stand you, and you have no other friends? Guardian force chokes Seven Kingdoms Guardian What have I told you telling the truth when it makes me look like the terrible alliance I am? Seven Kingdoms *resignedly, between choking noises* Not to do it... Guardian *Condescendingly* Excellent.... Guardian releases Seven Kingdoms Guardian Alright SK, this was just the first round! We may have suffered slightly due to unforeseen... uh... weather.... but we need to get back at them! Seven Kingdoms I'm pretty sure it was entirely your fault, but whatever. Anyway, do we have to get back at them? We were supposed to be doing something fun, and this is a lot of work. Guardian Well, before my inane rage was merely my way of expressing my deep-seated psychopathic tendencies, and the fear of anything which is better than me. Nowthey've made it personal! And go wake up Rose, that idiot is still passed out! Terminus Est *weakly* I'm still crippled and bleeding over here..... Guardian Of yeah SK, fix up TEst while you're at it. Seven Kingdoms Why do I have to do everything? Guardian Because I'm the smartest one around here, and I need my brainpower to think of a good plan that you morons can't mess up. Seven Kingdoms, grumbling, bandages Terminus Est's shattered kneecap. Rose suddenly wakes up Rose Did I do the good thing? Did I beat up the mean alliances? Guardian I hate you Rose. Seven Kingdoms pulls Guardian aside, while Rose begins to play with a doll and a dead squirrel. Terminus Est awkwardly crawls onto Guardian's bed and begins picking its remaining teeth with a butter knife. Seven Kingdoms *whisper* Listen, if we really want to hurt BoC, DEIC, and UPN, we might need some help. I mean, all TEst can do now is provide weird "moral" support, and I don't know if Rose is really all here sometimes. Rose lights the squirrel carcass on fire and begins to run around the basement, singing about sandwich ponies and reforming neutrals. Guardian *whisper* Nonsense, Rose is a perfectly normal alliance, everything it does is very rational and reasonable. Rose runs into a pole, and collapses backwards like a sac of dumb bricks Guardian *whisper* And TEst has the highest tolerance for pain and intelligent comments I've ever seen, it'll be perfectly fine in a coup- Wait, what is TEst doing? Terminus Est has begun to foam at the mouth and thrash wildly, sightlessly glaring with bloodshot eyes, as it screams like a dying goat Seven Kingdoms *whisper* Oh, TEst must be having another one of its alpha flashbacks, it gets them every so often. Guardian *freaked out whisper* That's kind of creepy. Why did I never know about this? Seven Kingdoms *whisper* Because you are always too busy being a jerk to really care about any of us. Guardian *whisper* Good point. *louder* Alright, I've got a plan, SK, you track down any other alliances who might want to help us. I'll take Rose and go spy on our enemies. Seven Kingdoms Why do we need to spy on them? We know who they are and where they live, heck, you even have UPN on speed dial. Guardian Don't question my true and utter genius SK, you just get us some backup, and calm down TEst. *shouts* Rose, come with me! Exit Rose and Guardian Seven Kingdoms pulls out a large stick while TEst flops off the bed and thrashes around on the floor, wailing. Seven Kingdoms Alright, TEst, time for your medicine... End of Scene 2 Act 1 Scene 3 - Outside United Purple Nation's Treehouse Scene: The treehouse nestles low in a money tree. The Dutch East India Company, Brotherhood of the Clouds, and United Purple Nations sit within it. Guardian and Rose hide in a bush on the sidewalk 20 ft. away. Sheepy stands in the middle of the street, burning a multi at the stake. United Purple Nations Man, that was really weird. Brotherhood of the Clouds You said it, but honestly though, what do you expect from those rejects? The Dutch East India Company No kidding, have you heard how Rose was dropped on its head when it was born? Rose *excitedly* Hey, thats my name! Guardian *loud whisper* Shut Up! Brotherhood of the Clouds And I heard that Seven Kingdoms has never even read Game of Thrones, just the wiki article! United Purple Nations, The Dutch East India Company, Rose, and Guardian gasp The Dutch East India Company Did you hear something? United Purple Nations Uh, I don't think so. Anyway, do one of you guys have a spare button-down. This one has TEst's kneecap blood all over it. Brotherhood of the Clouds passes United Purple Nations a shirt, which United Purple Nations puts on. Guardian Wow, UPN has really great abs... Rose Are you jealous? Guardian Completely and utterly, but- Wait, did you say something intelligent Rose? Rose I tried to ride an aquarium pebble once, but then my mom hit me on the spleen with a large green toad . Guardian Hm, it must've just been my imagination. Brotherhood of the Clouds Just out of curiosity, when were you going to tell me that those guys don't like us? The Dutch East India Company and United Purple Nations exchange glances. The Dutch East India Company *nervously* Uh, totally..... of course.... We didn't tell you already? United Purple Nations *nervously* Uh, must've slipped our minds. I'm so busy being popular, you know. Are you sure we didn't tell you? Brotherhood of the Clouds Yeah, pretty sure. The Dutch East India Company Anyway, what do you want to do with the afternoon? United Purple Nations We could get temporary tattoos and cruise around town in my convertible. ​The Dutch East India Company and Brotherhood of the Clouds Sounds like a plan! Guardian looks at Rose, who is licking a bud that it picked off the bush. Guardian *sadly* ​I wish I had friends like that... *with increasing confidence in order to convince itself* ​Anyway, this was a highly successful espionage mission. It has only served to reinforce my preexisting notions that these fools are weak and divided. They will fall easily to my great and glorious might. Nothing will sta- Rose inhales the bud, starts choking, and falls out from behind the bush. The Dutch East India Company, United Purple Nations, and Brothehood of the Clouds look down in surprise. ​The Dutch East India Company Is that Rose? Guardian rises out from behind the bush Guardian *loudly and shrilly* I take no responsibility for my own actions or of those who blindly follow me! Guardian takes off running down the street with Rose in tow. United Purple Nations, The Dutch East India Company, and Brotherhood of the Clouds look on in shock Exit Guardian and Rose United Purple Nations Why are paperless alliances such weirdos? The Dutch East India Company *sagely* Probably because they carry the most baggage from other places. The Dutch East India Company, United Purple Nations, and Brotherhood of the Clouds break out laughing End of Act 1 Holy Hell, this thing is longer than I thought. Breaking up into 2 parts.