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  1. Alright, here we go, part 2. Thanks for all the positive feedback for the first part, always happy to see people enjoying these, and I shall continue writing them. Now, lets go.... A Man, A Plan, Ayyy Lmao, A Play Written by: TheNG Edited by: TheNG Starring: Guardian as itself Seven Kingdoms Viridan Entente as itself The Syndicate as itself World Wrestling Federation as itself Mensa HQ as itself Rose as itself Cornerstone as itself Terradoxia as itself Vanguard as itself United Purple Nations as itself Terminus Est as itself And introducing Black Knights, who will be playing itself Act 2 Scene 1 - A Semi-Busy Street Scene - The street, while still occasionally crossed by pedestrians and vehicles, has become a battleground. The bushes side has had much of its shrubbery beaten down or torn up by the fighting alliances, who's struggles even spill onto the sidewalks. Sheepy walks along a rainbow far above while Guardian and Seven Kingdoms struggle with Viridian Entente. The Syndicate and Rose look on while Mensa HQ picks up World Wrestling Federation and throws it into the ground. Guardian Hahaha! I love it when my plan comes together! How does Honor feel VE? Seven Kingdoms stares in amazement Seven Kingdoms How can you still take credit for this- you know what? Never mind. I'll be happy when VE ends up like GPA Viridian Entente Enjoy this while it lasts boys, it won't be much longer now. A black SUV with a unicorn painted on the side and tinted windows pulls up to the curb. Black Knights, Cornerstone, and Terradoxia step out Viridian Entente ​At last..... Not to imply that I needed the help, of course. Viridian Entente pushes Guardian and Seven Kingdoms away and stands next to the three new arrivals while The Syndicate and Rose stand behind. The sounds of combat between Mensa HQ and World Wrestling Federation echoes in the background Black Knights Looks like its time for another ride! And you're about to be trampled! Cornerstone I get to apply what I learned from that monk dude in DaVinci code! Terradoxia My very existence as a horrific amalgamation is an affront to life itself. Luckily, I can steal your essence, and we'll be all set. Viridian Entente grins broadly, an expression which reveals its utmost confidence, then motions at Guardian and Seven Kingdoms Viridian Entente *loudly* GET THE- Guardian NOW WAIT JUST A MINUTE!! ​Viridian Entente pauses, and all the alliances stare curiously at Guardian Guardian How hypocritical is this? You accuse us of treachery, we who saved the world from the Neutral Menace, and yet you fight alongside a cheater! Viridian Entente Wait... what? There are no cheaters here. Guardian Hah! So naive. Guardian pulls out a massive bundle of paper held together by a cord and tosses it to Viridian Entente Guardian Look at that! As you can see by my 8 page summary beginning on page 456, and all the preceding analysis and spreadsheets on the previous pages, Terradoxia's finances don't add up! Look at all that unaccounted money! Terradoxia is cheating! Terradoxia What?! I'm not a cheater! Viridian Entente begins to leaf through the papers Viridian Entente I dunno Terradoxia, some of this stuff seems to make a little- Terradoxia *incredulous and angry* ​What? You can't seriously believe Guardian! They're trying to break us apart! Sow dissent! What are you going to do anyway, send me away? Let me fight! Viridian Entente Well, of course we can't be associated with any cheating. And I wouldn't dare to ask such a valued ally to leave, *brightly* I'm just saying, you must be tired right? Look, there's even a nice bench right over there! Why don't you just sit down and rest for a little while and we can talk about this later! Terradoxia walks away sobbing. Viridian Entente straightens up, and looks angrily toward Guardian, who smiles smugly Virdian Entente You may have pulled out those documents and gotten rid of Terradoxia, but the rest of us won't be split off so easily! Viridian Entente indicates Black Knights and Cornerstone Go help WWF finish off that freak! We'll handle these two! Black Knights Looks like somebody is going to need disability insurance soon! Cornerstone Just another heretic to be purified! Black Knights and Cornerstone dash off and confront Mensa HQ, who is slamming World Wrestling Federation's head into the ground and yelling Mensa HQ You call this a battle? *head slam* I may be new here, but I thought you were supposed to actually hurt me! *head slam* I'm making money off this! *head slam* I didn't know I was a raiding alliance! *head slam* What finisher do you call this? Mensa HQ slams World Wrestling Federation into the ground one last time, and eagerly grabs the money that falls out of its pockets. Black Knights charges into the fray Black Knights *Loudly and energetically* AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY LM- Mensa HQ slams a fist into Black Knight's head, knocking the alliances back Mensa HQ ​I'm new here, so I always like making new friends! *menacingly* We'll have such fun! Cornerstone drop-kicks Mensa HQ, sending the alliance sprawling. Black Knights and World Wrestling Federation both struggle to their feet and join the fight. Nearby, Viridian Entente squares of with Guardian and Seven Kingdoms. Seven Kingdoms pulls back its arm in preparation for charging, and strikes Vanguard, who is walking along the sidewalk. The blow sends Vanguard sprawling Seven Kingdoms Oh! My bad, sorry dude. Want some help? Vanguard rises, with blood in its eyes Vanguard *quietly* You struck me... *loud and enraged* UNNACEPTABLE!!! Seven Kingdoms Listen, it was an accident. I'm sorry! Vanguard launches a furious volley of blows against Seven Kingdoms, who staggers back. Guardian looks on in shock. Viridian Entente smiles and then turns angrily toward The Syndicate and Rose, who stand watching silently Viridian Entente *annoyed* If you two idiots are done watching, attack now while they're distracted! Rose What are we doing again? The Syndicate ​In a proper business environment, sometimes things simply cannot be rushed. Sloppy and hurried preparations often are reflected in the substandard results they produce. I need more time to conduct proper analyses, and develop an actionable plan in this chaotic and unfriendly climate. Many times, in pursuit of overall profit, or a similar goal, we overl- Viridian Entente Shut up already! Rose, attack! Rose You want me to inflict bodily harm? Viridian Entente *exasperated* YES! Rose Did you know what when you hit a skull against a frying pan, it sounds very similar to a drum? Food for thought. Rose strides into battle, colliding with Guardian. The Syndicate makes no move to follow, while Viridian Entente glances over to Mensa HQ, who throws Cornerstone into Black Knights Viridian Entente Syndicate, you either get in there, or I... Wait, who is that? A new alliance silently and confidently strides up behind the battling Seven Kingdoms and Vanguard. It lightly touches Vanguard on the shoulder, and the alliance turns aroung angrily, before staring in awe. The mysterious alliance makes a motion with its hand, and Vanguard silently dashes off to join Rose in attacking Guardian. Seven Kingdoms stares at the retreating Vanguard in confusion, then looks at the alliance which stands in front to it. Viridian Entente and The Syndicate watch closely. Seven Kingdoms *quietly* TEst? What are you doing here? I though you were at that yoga retreat, are you here to help us? Terminus Est I was SK, but as I meditated, I sensed a great disturbance. You are deeply unbalanced, and it is my duty to correct this. I am going to realign your chakras. Seven Kingdoms ​This doesn't seems very violent or psychopathic TEst. You have changed! But I'm curious, how do you realign someone's chakras? Terminus Est deals Seven Kingdoms a vicious blow to the head that sends the alliance sprawling to the ground. Terminus Est bends over the fallen Seven Kingdoms and pulls out a hammer Terminus Est *matter of factly* It is going to hurt. A lot. Seven Kingdoms *slowly and painfully* That sounds like...... the TEst I know.... Why..... the hammer? Terminus Est It is merely required for the first step in the process. Terminus Est swings and batters Seven Kingdoms, while Guardian falters under the combined might of Rose and Vanguard. Viridian Entente grins, then is spooked when World Wrestling Federation falls at its feet, then dashes back into battle. Viridian Entente stares as Mensa HQ screams wildly and hits Cornerstone with a captured cross, then gets hit a folding chair wielded by Black Knights Viridan Entente *to itself* ​That thing is more resilient then it looks. The Syndicate I believe I am prepared. Economic theory shall smite my foes. Viridian Entente Wait a second. Before you join in, make another call. It looks like our puppets might need a little help. Viridian Entente charges into battle against Guardian and Seven Kingdoms, who are succumbing to the combined assault of Vanguard, Rose, and Terminus Est ​The Syndicate punches in a number onto its phone, and holds it up to its ear as the alliance on the other end picks up. United Purple Nations Hey, this is UPN. What can I do for you? End Scene 1 And that's all for now folks. The battle lines have been drawn, and the fighting has begun. The rest of Act 2 will be going up soon enough, I hope you guys enjoyed this entry!
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  2. Well, as we've just had another war, I am apparently contractually obligated to make another one of these. It is a little late, so my apologies, and I thought I'd post it here, so to avoid getting lost in some thread somewhere, plus give this blog a little more reason for existence. Can you tell I'm running out of titles? We need a name for this war so I can make fun of it. For those of you unfamiliar with the alliances and situations present in TheNG's historically accurate theatrical universe, I recommend reading over my two previous works, the first of which is also on this blog, and the second or which I should get around to putting on here. Anyway, without further ado.... A Man, A Plan, Ayyy Lmao, A Play Written by: TheNG Edited by: TheNG Starring: Guardian as itself Seven Kingdoms Viridan Entente as itself The Syndicate as itself World Wrestling Federation as itself Mensa HQ as itself Rose as itself The Dutch East India Company as itself Act 1 Scene 1 - A small park near a major road. Scene: Sheepy pushes a child down the slide, while other children run around the equipment. Guardian and Seven Kingdoms swing around on a swing set. Guardian You know, I'm still angry. Seven Kingdoms What now? Is it the guy at the supermarket again? I'm telling you, they don- Guardian No, not that. I'm still mad VE got all the credit for taking down GPA. We saved the world, and no one knows. I've had 100% less contact with approving fangirls than I can tolerate. Seven Kingdoms rolls eyes Seven Kingdoms Well, technically, DEIC and UPN stole the credit from us, then VE stole the credit from them. Guardian Shut up! Listen, I'm gonna go teach VE a lesson! You want to participate in my glorious triumph? Seven Kingdoms ​I really should stop agreeing to this, but fine. How about this time I come up with the plan. Your's often leave a lot to be desired. Guardian WHAT?! Slander! Take it back! Seven Kingdoms Well, uhh... Guardian *sweetly* Take it back and I'll let you plan the war! Seven Kingdoms Fine, fine. You're a tactical genius. Guardian smiles smugly Seven Kingdoms Alright, VE has quite the posse, so we're going to need some assistance. Preferably big and stupid, maybe bloodthirsty as well. To absorb the hits. Guardian I know, we can call Terminus Est and Rose! They'll help us! Get the gang back together! Seven Kingdoms Well, TEst is at that yoga retreat, and we haven't talked much to Rose ever since it got put in the special needs section. I guess we can try. Guardian How about Dutch East India Company? They're kind of cool. Seven Kingdoms Alright, I can ask them. You call Rose. Seven Kingdoms pulls out its phone and calls The Dutch East India Company, while Guardian calls Rose Seven Kingdoms So, how about it? VE stole all our thunder, you in? The Dutch East India Company *via phone speaker* I'd love to help you guys, but I can't make it. I've in the emergency room right now. Turns out you can sniff to much cumin. Who knew? Anyway, if they let me out soon, I'll drop by. Seven Kingdoms Alright, thanks. Bye. Seven Kingdoms ends the call, and Guardian does the same on its phone. Seven Kingdoms So, how did it go with Rose? Guardian Rose said it come over and help us. They'll be here soon! Seven Kingdoms Alright, that makes one. We're probably going to need some more help. Lets walk around a little, see if we can find someone. End Scene 1 Act 1 Scene 2 - A Semi-Busy Street Scene: The street is lined on one side with buildings, and on the other with bushes. Cars pass down the road occasionally, and alliances appear and walk down to sidewalk at a similar rate. Sheepy plays a saxophone for donations. Guardian and Seven Kingdoms sit down on a bench, and talk to passers-by. Eventually a disheveled alliance in a dirty coat with a flag draped around it approaches. Seven Kingdoms Let's ask that one. *loudly* Excuse me! You there, do you have a minute? The alliance turns around excitedly and dashed over excitedly. It grabs Seven Kingdom's hand firmly and begins shaking very rapidly. The alliance practically shakes with energy, and Seven Kingdoms looks uncomfortable. Sand falls from the sleeves of the alliance. Mensa HQ *rapidly and excitedly" HI! Always a pleasure to meet another alliance. My name is Mensa HQ and I'm a genius! I'm also new here. Have you heard about our lord and savior Dio? Really cool guy! Seven Kingdoms manages to free its hand and slowly backs up Seven Kingdoms Uhh.... Hi..... Um, so Mensa HQ, pleasure to meet you. I'm Seven Kingdoms, and this is Guardian. Guardian waves. Mensa HQ strides over and begins shaking Guardian's hand very firmly as well Mensa HQ *eagerly and rapidly* I'm so excited! I'm so happy to meet to you guys, no one wants to talk to me here, but now we're best friends! Guardian *anxiously* How many coffees did you drink this morning? Am I right? Mensa HQ *eagerly and rapidly* It's not coffee, the doctors say I have hyperactivity! It's where you're always on, focused and ready to do stuff! It's why I'm so smart! Seven Kingdoms Umm, alright. Anyway, Mensa, we're looking to right a wrong and take down a new tyrant, you want to help? Mensa HQ ​Sure! Where I come from I'm always fighting! It's how I got these scars! Mensa HQ indicates the bulbous growths on its face. Seven Kingdoms Are you sure those are scars? Anyway, glad to have you onboard. Once Rose shows up, we'll be all set. We'll defeat VE, get our fame back, and then go out for victory snacks! Guardian None of us have any money. Seven Kingdoms Eh, after we take VE down, we can shake Rose down for some change. Rose always has quarters stuck in the weirdest places. It'll be no problem. Mensa HQ I like Ice Cream! Seven Kingdoms Hm.. I should plan this stuff more often. This is going great! Now nothing is going to stop us. Viridian Entente, The Syndicate, and World Wrestling Federation rise from behind a bush Viridian Entente *nastily* Well well well. If it isn't Guardian and Seven Kingdoms! Plotting to take me down are you? And with such trash alliances too. Where did you find that thing, the homeless church? ​This is even more pathetic than your last "coalition"! Maybe you should learn that you can't outsmart Viridian Entente! The Syndicate and World Wrestling Federation chuckle. Seven Kingdoms, Guardian, and Mensa HQ look on in shock Guardian YOU! Seven Kingdoms What?! But how did you find out? Nobody knew, our security was perfect! Viridian Entente *triumphantly* Hahah! Looks like you have a leak! Pick your associates more closely next time fool! Seven Kingdoms clenches its fist and looks at the sky in rage Seven Kingdoms *angrily and loudly* RAGNAR!! Viridian Entente *confused* Actually.... it was Guardian. They posted it all over social media. Seven Kingdoms and Mensa HQ look at Guardian, who takes a selfie, then puts its phone away Guardian ​What? I had to build up some media hype for the big takedown. You know, get our story out, build up some buzz, so when we do win we'll be known as the guys who took down GPA! ​Seven Kingdoms facepalms Seven Kigndoms AUUGH! EVERY... TIME.... Guardian Ohh, we're trending! enter Rose Seven Kingdoms Oh! Rose, you're here! Help us take down VE! Viridian Entente Not so fast! Viridian Entente strides over to Rose and stands beside it Viridian Entente Guess who found out you guys were going to take its money after you were done? Rose right here. Rose is on my side now, is there anything you would like to say? Rose When do I get to have teatime with the cat? Viridian Entente Umm... Anyway. Looks like the tables have turned! *To The Syndicate and World Wrestling Federation* Let's make this quick. I've got a photoshoot all lined up for winning another war! I must be in the 500s by now... Seven Kingdoms You may have tricked Rose, but we're still going to crush you. GET THEM! Mensa HQ I'm new to this, but I can still kill things! I love it here! Guardian and Seven Kingdoms let out screams and tackle Viridian Entente. Mensa HQ bellows an inhuman war cry and jumps on World Wrestling Federation. The two alliances roll away punching each other. The Syndicate stands away from the fighting, watching calmly, while Rose looks on confusedly, then falls over Viridian Entente *In between punches* Syndicate! Come...... Over here.... and help me..... you fool! The Syndicate ​I'm still analyzing the risk and reward benefits of this. Capitalism is a complicated system, these things take time. Viridian Entente GAAAAAH Guardian Your crushed skull will look great with a filter! Seven Kingdoms You may have found us out, but that won't stop this beatdown! Fool THIS! Viridian Entente manages to throw off Guardian and Seven Kingdoms and runs around chased by the two alliances Viridian Entente If you won't help Syndicate, then at least call in our backup! *To itself* This slaughter is just beginning..... End Act 1 There we go, the first epic first act of an epic business venture. The second act will be up shortly, exclusive to here only. Tell a friend, or don't, but thanks to all who read this, hopefully you guys like it.
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