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Celebration of One Year After KCW


Nadir Aminu

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Translated to English: Lucia Svadin: "Hello, it has been a year since we have ousted the SARF from Guevaran. Habibullah Sewick has invited many allies to celebrate it. He is now talking."

 


Habibullah Sewick: "Hello, people of Khevin, people of Orbis, leaders of Orbis. It is one year since we have defeated the SARF in the Khevinist Civil War. It has also been the end of a two month conflict in the middle east. The result of such conflict was Khevin conquering most of Egypt and Northern Sudan. My brethren in front of me, those who have been in the conflict; enemies and friends. Believers and apostates. Invaders and defenders. Muslims and non-Muslims. Heroes and traitors. We have all come to celebrate the new day, of peace. Many changes have occurred, but today is a celebration to praise Allah for our safety and well-being. We welcome our guests, Stormrideron of the Great Saxony Empire, Eric of Canada, Dimitri Valko of Ryas, Ibrahim of the Islamic State, Abu Haddad of Arabia, Lelouch Vi Britannia of the Holy Britannian Empire, Alexei Lysenko of Chernigov, Zafrizackery of Sweden, Moreau of the Brittish Empire, Prezyan of Narvan, Jack Mcfloyd of the New Union of States, Tomasious Rubinlord of Entakuq, Dylan Pascua of Goand, and I, Caliph Habibullah Sewick of Khevin. I thank you all for coming. We have- will learn how to forgive, and love your enemies. I will deliver a speech about the real enemy in this world.

 


I have two orders of business regarding the SARF . The rest of this speech is focused exclusively on the SARF, because they extricate themselves from difficulty by intrigue, by chicanery, by dissimulation, by trimming, by an untruth, by an injustice. To put it crudely, their reason is not true reason. It does not seek the truth but only shabby answers, sex-crazed resolutions to conflicts. The SARF's hirelings criticize others for being vapid but do absolutely nothing themselves to provide a positive, confident, and assertive vision of humanity's future and our role in it. Although this discrepancy truly indicates that SARF's hirelings are all sharp-tongued but soft-toothed hypocrites, SARF has managed to convince a vast assortment of people that you and I are morally inferior to inattentive mythomaniacs (especially the uppity type). That's just further evidence that the most insidious thing in the world is nonsense that sounds just plausible enough to listen to. It's the sort of nonsense that prevents people from seeing that I am au fait with SARF's latest sermons. I am, as well, quite familiar with the manner in which they have been denying citizens the ability to become informed about the destruction that they are capable of. In particular, I know that our top priority in the upcoming weeks must be to feed the starving, house the homeless, cure the sick, and still find wonder and awe in the sunrise and the moonlight. Look, of course that's going to be tough. Anybody who tells you it's going to be easy or that one can wave a magic wand and make it happen hasn't been paying attention to how the SARF operates. Nevertheless, I was recently pondering the unjust, asymmetrical power relations that characterize SARF's distasteful ramblings. This exercise made me realize something: The concept of risk includes the relationship between the consequences and probability of an event. If the consequences of an event are extremely negative, such as the devastation resulting from SARF giving dirty crackpots far more credibility than they deserve, then you want the probability of the event occurring to be vanishingly small, as close to zero as possible. Unfortunately, the likelihood of SARF fostering suspicion—if not hatred—of “outsiders†is so high that one can't help but conclude that I wonder what would happen if they really did go to great lengths to conceal their true aims and mislead the public. There's a spooky thought.
I sincerely hope that if we all enable all people to achieve their potential as human beings, this will bring us together in a national dialogue of learning instead of reducing us to recriminations and accusations. At a minimum, I expect it to help a large number of people see that cynicism is a kind of prison. It is also, paradoxically, a haven. It is at once confining and empowering. And in the absence of alternative havens, cynicism will for many of SARF's partners in crime continue to be a source of comfort, something to free them from having to confront the fact that I personally would doubtlessly like to believe that SARF acts with our interests in mind. I really would. But SARF sure makes it difficult to believe such things. For instance, they want us to believe that education and open-mindedness are some kind of liability. This of course is nonsense without any empirical validity, but SARF so vehemently insists that they are men of peace that this has come to be accepted wisdom, at least by slaphappy skinflints.
SARF has doubled down on their promotion of opportunism by demanding that loyalty to backwards simps supersedes personal loyalty. This is not what I think; this is what I know. I additionally know that every so often you'll see SARF lament, flog themselves, cry mea culpa for glorifying the things that everyone else execrates, and vow never again to be so pigheaded. Sadly, they always revert to their old behavior immediately afterwards, making me think that they are always trying to change the way we work. This annoys me because SARF's previous changes have always been for the worse. I'm positive that these new changes will be even more moralistic because SARF intends to put their doolally nosism movement in charge of assailing all that is holy. We should not stand for that, with that, or by that. Rather, we should make it clear that a few years ago, SARF made a name for themselves by publicly and blatantly controlling your government, abusing their power, and tricking your mind. Since then, their name has been synonymous with irascible desperadoism. What you might not know, however, is that SARF has managed to mollify their more trusting critics simply by promising not to utilize legal, above-ground organizing in combination with illegal, underground tactics to exclude all people and proposals that oppose their unprofessional scribblings. We shall see how long that lasts. In the meantime, even relative to the rest of their imperium, SARF is a fascinatingly exotic paladin of savagism, a neon peacock in a field of Guernsey cows. What's even more fascinating is that some of SARF's understrappers were kind enough to provide a locus classicus for SARF's true intentions. They wrote, “SARF told us that what they want is more than anything else is to abridge our basic civil liberties.†I don't know about you, but that tells me that I wish I didn't have to be the one to break the news that it is past time for us to maintain social tranquillity. Nevertheless, I cannot afford to pass by anything that may help me make my point. So let me just state that it takes more than a mass of gutless, flagitious blacklegs to push a consistent vision that responds to most people's growing fears about the worst sorts of furciferous schmoes I've ever seen. It takes a great many thoughtful and semi-thoughtful people who are willing to face our problems realistically, get to the root of our problems, and be determined to solve them.
All this leaves one wondering just what's going on in SARF's obstreperous head. The answer, of course, is that SARF plans to destroy the lives of good, honest people. What can you do about that? Start by reading about how SARF listens only to those of their own cast of mind. Become informed about the deceit, lies, and propaganda surrounding their promotion of defeatism. Tell everyone you know that SARF preys on the rebellious and disenfranchised, tricking them into joining his coalition of fastidious nupsons and prolix, sleazy worthless-types. Their first assignment usually involves subverting existing lines of power and information. The lesson to draw from this is that SARF is a hypocritical hoddypeak. In fact, SARF is worse than a hypocritical hoddypeak; they're also an unflappably bilious bossy-type. That's why they feel obligated to destroy any resistance by channeling it into ineffective paths.
I'll let you in on a little secret: I have come to see SARF's polity as fraudulent. According to SARF, their polity stands for learning and opening the mind. In practice, it stands for filling children's credulous ears with SARF's quisquiliary deblaterations. I could go on for pages listing innumerable examples of this wily traducements and pernicious intimations. I have already written enough, surely, to convince you that SARF's cheerleaders are expected to treat SARF's litanies as knowledge and accept them as truth. Please re-read and memorize that sentence if you still believe that the stork is responsible for procreation. Over the past couple of years I have had occasion to evaluate SARF's sallies in terms of their ability to “enlighten†anyone who doesn't believe that coercion in the name of liberty is a valid use of state power. What I have discovered shows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that SARF honestly dropped a clanger by admitting that the idea of basing our entire society on grungy jingoism is so far from reality, it's laughable. Let's remember that. These rapists will be crushed and defeated. Let me end by stating simply that ignoring this speech can be considered an admission of guilt on SARF's part. I'll leave it at that.

 

Khevin will thrive and prosper under Allah with our new allies. Cheers."

 

*Habibullah Sewick holds up a glass of water*

 

Lucia Svadin: "There it was, Caliph Sewick's deliverance of his speech and now the national parade will begin."

 

150903113921-china-military-parade-orig-00000428-large-169.jpg

 

Lucia Svadin: "Have a good day, and good news."

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(Dimitri Valko, to Habibullah Sewick) That speech was surprisingly sophisticated- I was told that you were not part of the Khevinist political structure before this, Sewick? Damn fine job on solidifying your place as leader. (Perhaps open an IRC Channel for leaders' party chat?)

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(Dimitri Valko, to Habibullah Sewick) That speech was surprisingly sophisticated- I was told that you were not part of the Khevinist political structure before this, Sewick? Damn fine job on solidifying your place as leader. (Perhaps open an IRC Channel for leaders' party chat?)

Ha ha. Thank you, Mr. Valko. I was not a political leader. I was actually a lieutenant during the Khevinist Rebellion in the late 80s. Vladimir trusted me very much. I am very proud that I will be the leader to kill of the scum that is the SARF. (How about you open the chat. I can't do shit with IRC.)

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(Alexei Lysenko to Habibullah Sewick) What an inspiring speech, if I might say, and the Military Parade was just genius. I am hopeful that we will not have a war of such scale in the middle east in the years to come. I just wish my friend Ivan Sewick was here, he would be thrilled to see you, plus he would have a-lot to report on. (Really dislike IRC personally.  Also, I must say that we should have an olympics on the forums.)

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(Alexei Lysenko to Habibullah Sewick) What an inspiring speech, if I might say, and the Military Parade was just genius. I am hopeful that we will not have a war of such scale in the middle east in the years to come. I just wish my friend Ivan Sewick was here, he would be thrilled to see you, plus he would have a-lot to report on. (Really dislike IRC personally.)

Thank you. I really haven't seen him in such a long time. And, the only war that will go on is the war on the SARF. (IRC is fine, just confusing.)

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Thank you. I really haven't seen him in such a long time. And, the only war that will go on is the war on the SARF. (IRC is fine, just confusing.)

(Exactly why I dislike it)

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(Might as well do this! Emperor Prezyan to Habibullah Sewick)
Hello Caliph, I do not believe we have been introduced yet. I am Prezyan, Emperor of Narvan. I had the pleasure of being friends with your predecessor, Vladimir Zhogin, and I must say I speak for everyone when that your speech, and this celebration is magnificent!

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(Might as well do this! Emperor Prezyan to Habibullah Sewick)

Hello Caliph, I do not believe we have been introduced yet. I am Prezyan, Emperor of Narvan. I had the pleasure of being friends with your predecessor, Vladimir Zhogin, and I must say I speak for everyone when that your speech, and this celebration is magnificent!

Nice to meet you and thank you. Peace is something with value that can not be measured.

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(So, what is everyone's thoughts on a orbis olympics?)

(Prezyan to Alexei)

Narvan would participate in any such Olympics! In fact, I'm sure the people of Narvan would even wish to host the games itself!

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(Holy Guardian Stormrideron to Habibullah Sewick)

 

Hello Habibullah, first of all, amazing speech and I have to say that your speech resonated well. I believe this is our first time meeting in person, although I had heard stories about your predecessor but I never got the chance to establish diplomatic tie with Khevin, so I am going to take the opportunity to do it now as I am currently visitng you. I am Holy Guardian Stormrideron of Great Saxony Empire. As you may wonder why I have title "Holy Guardian" instead of Emperor is because I am one of the original creator of Reformed Prodigism. I see you have talked with Prezyan, also one of the original Reformed Prodigism creator as well too. It is much holier to have Holy Guardian instead of Emperor in my country since majority of the people follows that religion. I must say these food are pretty damn good. Russian-made food I presume?

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(Holy Guardian Stormrideron to Habibullah Sewick)

 

Hello Habibullah, first of all, amazing speech and I have to say that your speech resonated well. I believe this is our first time meeting in person, although I had heard stories about your predecessor but I never got the chance to establish diplomatic tie with Khevin. I am Holy Guardian Stormrideron of Great Saxony Empire. As you may wonder why I have title "Holy Guardian" instead of Emperor is because I am one of the original creator of Reformed Prodigism. I see you have talked with Prezyan, also one of the original Reformed Prodigism as well too. It is much holier to have Holy Guardian instead of Emperor in my country since majority of the people follows that religion. I must say these food are pretty damn good. Russian-made food I presume?

Nice to meet you, it is actually Turkish/Italian cuisine. I have learned quite a bit about Prodigism, that is why have missionaries in here, but we still apply a jizya tax on them.

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(Jack Mcfloyd to  Habibullah Sewick) Thx you for inviting me. Sence we haven't met i would like to interduce myself to yo, and i would like to thx for for organizing this gathering of nations, big, small, peaceful, violent, so let us try to make orbis a better place for every citizen. 

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(Jack Mcfloyd to  Habibullah Sewick) Thx you for inviting me to this gathering of nations, big, small, peaceful, violent, so let us try to make orbis a better place for every citizen. 

Yes.

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Nice to meet you, it is actually Turkish/Italian cuisine. I have learned quite a bit about Prodigism, that is why have missionaries in here, but we still apply a jizya tax on them.

That is interesting! I am quite surprised that there are Prodigism missionaries in your nation. That is one thing I noticed that your nation are quite religion tolerant. I wholely heartly love countries who can respect other countries' identity. So that is a plus. I never heard such a Jizya Tax, that is definitely new but hearing the word Jizya it probably came from Middle East. What is that? Is it like state tax or something?

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That is interesting! I am quite surprised that there are Prodigism missionaries in your nation. That is one thing I noticed that your nation are quite religion tolerant. I wholely heartly love countries who can respect other countries' identity. So that is a plus. I never heard such a Jizya Tax, that is definitely new but hearing the word Jizya it probably came from Middle East. What is that? Is it like state tax or something?

Narvan sent them, so we sent Zhoginist theorists to Narvan. Jizya tax is a tax on non-Muslims so they can live in Khevin. If they don't accept, we deport them to Ryas.

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Interesting. My country is socialism and we tax from 0% to 90% based on the people's wealth. Regardless of the people, we just tax people and use these money to provide free healthcare and education as well improving the daily quality of life.

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Interesting. My country is socialism and we tax from 0% to 90% based on the people's wealth. Regardless of the people, we just tax people and use these money to provide free healthcare and education as well improving the daily quality of life.

We tax all people 20% on the surplus of resources they make because we abolished money. Everything is therefore free if you work and everybody is equal economically. Extra Jizya is applied on 10% of the population though.

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(jack mcfloyd to Alexei Lysenko) hello how are you

Well, I am okay, long ride here due to a traffic jam. You would think people would be told to clear the street for the leader of a nation, but no, they don't. Well, gentlemen, I have something important to announce. As you may know, Chernigov now spans an area roughly twice as large as before the war. Therefore, I am announcing that the Government is being reformed to be an empire. While this may come as a shock to you, as the nation of Chernigov was founded upon the ideals of Liberty and Equality, the nation will be a constitutional monarchy. This means that I will be more of a figurehead for the nation, but I will have some power in the government. This change is purely out of necessity, and nothing else. Of course, there will still be elections. That is all.

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Still getting used to this Emperor thing, will be holding a speech tomorrow to officially announce it. Everyone here is invited, we will also be holding a military parade as part of the celebration.

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(No Idea, it just popped into my mind after watching the closing ceremony of the 2014 winter Olympics I guess. Yeah, I was bored and decided to watch it.) 

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