How to Sucessfully Write a Funny Story, The Best Ways to go to Jail
Here's a segment where I give my fantastic advice on how to be sucessful. Listen and learn
How to write a funny story:
1. Have the main character be a 50 year old Jewish pimp from Memphis.
2. Have him say things like “Sweet ride, baby cakesâ€, and “Lets make some swizzle swazzle magic razzle happen here!†and “Thou art a fool for arriving,Benvolioâ€.
3. Make him have a problem with a Pomeranian.
4. Name the Pomeranian Elizabethella.
5.Have him hire a dumb but lovable sidekick named “Steve†to help him kill the Pomeranian.
6. Kill the Pomeranian.
7. Realize that a Pomeranian is, in fact, a dog.
8. Realize that your story is awful.
9. Self-Publish it anyway.
10. Make a stupid vow about the story, like, “I won’t take !@#$ from nobody.â€
11. End up taking !@#$ from everybody.
12. Shoot up a club.
13. Start a career as a successful rapper.
How to Get a Free Trip Straight to Jail:
1. Kill a Pomeranian.
2. Open fire at a casket yelling “You’re dead , dumb bastard!â€.
3. Throw a bucket of ice water on a cop.
4. Make a citizens arrest on yourself.
5. Break into the Senate during session and scream the preamble of the Constitution.
6. Attempt to ask John Kerry a question at a rally. **
7. Become a cop just to arrest yourself.
8. Forget to read the Miranda rights to yourself and get arrested again because of this.
9. Punch the next man, woman, or child you see wearing pajamas in public.
10. Streak onto a field during a football game and tackle Tony Romo, injuring him for the rest of the season.
!@#$ YOU PFEIFFER THESE ARE HILARIOUS
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